₦airaland Forum

SMH!!!

1. If life gives you lemons, just make lemonade from it, and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party.


2. I guess I will have to name my kids Ctrl, Alt, and Delete. That way, if they muck up I will hit them all at once.


3. Never argue with a fool, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with the experience.


4. Dear alcohol, we made a deal where you were to make me smarter, funnier, and a better dancer. I already saw the video and so we need to talk.


5. A successful man is the one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is the one who is lucky to get such aman.


6. You need to stay in shape. My grandmother began walking 5 miles a day when she was 60 years, now, she is 97 and we do notknow where the hell she is.


7. If I am to choose between two evils, I always pick the one that I have never tried before.


8. I am not clumsy, the floor just hates me, tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall just loves getting on my way.


9. On my first time to understand about oral contraception, I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no!


10. Chemicals are not bad. In the absence of hydrogen or oxygen, for instance, there is no way water would have become a vital ingredient in beer.


11. Some people say, “The last thing I want is to hurt you” it is clear that hurt is still on the list.


12. I wish to die peacefully, in my sleep just like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like passengers who were in his vehicle.


13. Attending a church service does not make you a Christian; the same way standing in a garage does not make you a car.


14. Light travels faster than sound. This explains why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


15. Knowledge is to understanding that a tomato is a fruit but wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.


16. With children, you spend the first two years teaching and encouraging them to walk and talk, and then you spend the next sixteen years telling them to shut up and sit down.


17. Diapers and politicians have one thing in common. They should be changed frequently for the same reason.


18. The early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


19. Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason then you may need medicine.


20. Opportunity knocks once and then it’s gone. However, temptation loves to stand there and lean on the doorbell.

Some gunmen opened fire on Daniel Nwankwo, parish priest of St Thomas Catholic Church, Onireke, Lagos, on Friday.

https://www.thecable.ng/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/St-Thomas-Catholic-Church-Onilekere-Ikeja-653x365.png


A parishoner, who simply identified himself as Valentine, said the assailant struck around 9am.

He explained that the victim had just finished attending to a church member when he was attacked.

“They were three in number. The men came into the church as if they were parishioners,” Valentine told TheCable.

“When they arrived here, father was taking confession. As he was walking away after rounding off, they approached him and toldhim they need N5,000 to use in paying the hospital bill of someone.

“Before you knew what was happening, they had shot him on the stomach.”

Another witness, who refused to disclose his identity, said the attackers scaled the fence after hitting their target.

He said an associate priest of the church rushed Nwankwo to an undisclosed hospital for treatment.

Policemen were seen in the church premises when TheCable visited on Friday afternoon.

Some parishioners also converged on the place, discussing the matter.

The development comes after Cyriacus Onunkwo, also a Catholic priest, was abducted and killed in Imo state.

Onunkwo was abducted on Friday at Banana junction in Orlu local government area of the state.

His corpse was found in Omuma the following day.

Six persons, including a policeman, have been arrested in connection with the death of Onunko.


https://www.thecable.ng/breaking-gunmen-break-catholic-church-lagos-shoot-priest

it's about time.

good one from the police

SO we now have snake butchers?

i see lalasticlala coming

smartty68:
Chioma's Dad has never liked Emeka from before, very possible that he has a hand in his dead

HE IS THE FVKING KILLER !

Maybe the father found his daughter with the guy in an intimate position, he got angry pull out his gun and ..... BANG!!!

nice

with their camelon network ( green and slow) ......metchewwwww.......

She looks like an actress in Nigeria movies. i can't remember her name


https://answersafrica.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Monalisa-Chinda-1.jpg

uppercut

[quote author=biafranation post=60210489][/quote]BRAINLESS. Can u defend what she said?

zantama05:
even slay Queen disowned you guy

shame on you ipob d albino urine sniffers.

haba! small small this morning. u wan give some people HBP?

https://i1.wp.com/gossipreport.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Ney.jpg


A Nigerian Lady, Identified as Nek Key Billz has written to all Biafrans, and urged them to stop deceiving themselves, all in the name of IPOB.


Read What she wrote below;


This is to address all the people causing nuisance all in the name of Biafra You people should stop deceiving yourselves, imagine!!! What do you even have that you want to go for war Which ammunitions do you possess??

How many trained military men do you have Nnamdi Kanu wants to waste the lives of innocent Igbos, while his family is in London Don’t you people have sense at all

What do you think war is?? You people need to wisen up and stop letting that man deceive you… if you ever want to have Biafra, you need to have a plan, well equipped trained persons, and resources but what do you people even have

Nnamdi Kanu is saying that God gives him revelations but less I forget, the Bible said that God is not an author of confusion…. your lives are more precious to God, while not use it wisely instead of embarking on a futile war

This resort to shenanigans, hate speech, and sometimes incitement to violence by organisations such as IPOB and MASSOB must be unconditionally condemned as they are inimical to national unity, stability, peaceful coexistence and national security.

We must constantly be aware of the terrain and times. We have a country that has gone through a civil war, military coups and counter-coups, some of them bloody, prolonged military dictatorships, several false starts as a democracy, insurgency and banditry and a huge youth population whose huge expectations are far from being met.


Our peculiar circumstances have made it difficult to deliver and what weneed is trust and hope to see us through the difficult times. We shall overcome, but we need all the survival techniques our collective talent can muster.


https://i0.wp.com/gossipreport.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/21017823_114702622587548_313940613_o.jpg

http://www.gisttown.com/2017/09/nigerian-slayqueen-writes-to-all.html?m=1


lalasticlala mynd44

goodone

not the ones that will be shouting reconstrution up-and-down , making noise and disturbing the peace of Nigeria

Tolexander:
How are we so sure there is Korede in the pictures?

Cos almost everyone looks so alike when in that regalia. When those features such using in recognising a man such as the shape of the head, cheeks, chin, beard and ears have been covered up.

u blind?

Korede Bello Goes Horse Riding With His Best Friend, Emir Of Kano’s Son, Adam Ashraf During Hawan Fanisau.


Mavin recording artiste, Korede Bello, definitely had a whale of a time ashe spent the Eid holiday in Kano with his best friend, son of the Emir, Hrh Adam Ashraf Lamido Sanusi.

Together, they went horse riding in heir traditional attires called ‘Babban Riga’ to celebrate the multiple day festival which wrapped up with thegrand finale called Hawan Fanisau.


photos below:


https://i2.wp.com/gossipreport.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Korede-bello-horse-riding6-1.jpg

https://i1.wp.com/gossipreport.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Korede-bello-horse-riding.jpg

https://i2.wp.com/gossipreport.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Korede-bello-horse-riding2.jpg

https://i0.wp.com/gossipreport.me/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Korede-bello-horse-riding4.jpg

http://www.gisttown.com/2017/09/korede-bello-goes-horse-riding-with-his.html?m=1

lalasiclala

i think they ae fake soldiers

A civil society group, known as the Forum for Accountability and Justice, hascalled for the immediate arrest of former President Goodluck Jonathan, by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) over what it termed as the alleged monumental corruption believed to have characterised his administration as the president of Nigeria.


The group, in a statement issued in Portharcourt, and signed by its leader, Comrade Luke Akartaka queried why the incumbent administration of President Muhammadu Buhari refused to question Jonathan over the numerous mind boggling revelation of monumental frauds and embezzlement of public funds under his government..

The group berated the continued attitude of treating the former president as a sacred cow, even in the face of damning revelations, against his administration.


"It is very regrettable, that today, not even we the people of the Niger Delta region, where the former president hails from, have nothing, to show for producing a president, who was in office for six years and all we knew, of his legacies, are the cases of corruption, that are now in monumental proportions.

The group said, the EFCC, can no longer continue to exonerate Dr Jonathan from his subordinates' proven acts of corruption.

For this country's anti-corruption crusade, to be deemed successful, we believe the time has come for the EFCC to pick up Dr Jonathan to tell Nigerians all that he knows of the many cases of corruption that happened under him.

The group said it will not hesitate to approach the court for a compelling order, if the anti graft commission refused to act.

https://www.naij.com/1123990-group-demands-immediate-arrest-prosecution-president-jonathan.html

The problems facing the Nigerian educational institutions are about to increase as all the major non-teaching staff unions of public universities have resolved to embark on an indefinite strike.


According to Premium Times, the strike is set to begin from September 11. The Joint Action Committee (JAC) of Senior Staff Association of Nigerian Universities (SSANU), Non-Academic Staff Union of Universities (NASU) and the National Association of Academic Technologists, (NAAT), announced the strike on Wednesday, September 6.

The president of SSANU, who is also the chairman of JAC while speaking at a press conference in Abuja explained reasons for the industrial action, saying the nationwide strike would be total and comprehensive.


He said: “During the strike, there shall be no provision of services, no matter how skeletal. Concessions shall not be granted while all our members are to stay at home till further notice, unless as directed by JAC through their respective presidents."


https://www.naij.com/1124005-breaking-ssanu-nasu-naat-join-ASUU-declare-indefinite-strike.html

okay

bedford101:
This fish is called mollick found in the palm grove region

dem dey chop this kind?

A Nigerian lady identified as Opeyemi AanuOluwaseyi Bello has cried out after buying an unidentified fish from a seller she has known for a long time. Accordingto her, the seller has new species of fishes and her curiosity in trying something different led her to buying one.


The lady described the head of the fish as being snake-like even though it has scales all over the body. The attendant she met at the shop could not help with the identification of the fish either and this made her even more curious.

In a bid to find out the name of the fish and the family it belongs to, the user posted pictures if it on her Facebook page while imploring people who might have seen the fish before to help her with the name.

The unidentified fish bought by the poor woman. Source: Facebook, Opeyemi AanuOluwaseyi Bello.

Not knowing the name of the fish in addition to its features have made her scared of eating it as she said she does not know what to do with it. Pending the time she finds out the name and what kind of fish it is, the poor woman resorted to putting it in the freezer.

Lady shares photos of the fish she bought. Source: Facebook, Opeyemi AanuOluwaseyi Bello.


So I visited my regular grocery store some days ago and found out they have a new breed of fish.

Felt like trying out something new and bought.

But the fish has the head that looks like that of a snake....But it's a scaly fish Sha. Omo...the head is scary fa and I don't even know the name of the fish sef. (The shop attendant doesn't know too)

Biko, who knows the name? And I don't know what to do with the fish...(scary tin)


.The dudes are chilling in the freezer till now


Epp me o





https://mobile.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10214643631873811&id=1513227560&refid=17&ref=opera_speed_dial_freefb&_ft_=top_level_post_id.10214643631873811%3Atl_objid.10214643631873811%3Athid.1513227560%3A306061129499414%3A2%3A0%3A1506841199%3A-3767309162699061128&__tn__=%2AW-R

cute

lubbish

i see no pics

A group of suspected kidnappers who abducted a director with the Kaduna State Ministry of Education, Science and Technology are demanding for N40 million ransom, an official in the ministry has said.


The victim, Mr John Gorah, was abducted at midnight on Sunday at his residence located in Mararaban Rido, Kaduna.


The Deputy Director, Higher Education in the ministry, Mr Steven Haruna, told newsmen in Kaduna on Tuesday that the kidnappers had contacted the victim’s family.

Haruna explained that the kidnappers stormed the victim’s house, fired multiple gunshots in the air to scare people and pulled down a section of the fence before taking Gorah away.

He also said that the kidnappers abducted a nursing mother in the neighbourhood,leaving her three weeks old baby behind.

“The kidnappers have called the family and demanded for N40 million ransom,” he told newsmen.

https://i2.wp.com/www.vanguardngr.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Kidnap-syndicate.jpg



The Deputy Director, Higher Education in the ministry, Mr Steven Haruna, told newsmen in Kaduna on Tuesday that the kidnappers had contacted the victim’s family.

Haruna explained that the kidnappers stormed the victim’s house, fired multiple gunshots in the air to scare people and pulled down a section of the fence before taking Gorah away.

He also said that the kidnappers abducted a nursing mother in the neighbourhood, leaving her three weeks old baby behind.

“The kidnappers have called the family and demanded for N40 million ransom,” hetold newsmen.


https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/09/kidnappers-abduct-director-demand-n40m-ransom-kaduna/

mynd44

this is getting out of hand

My friend would always say “don’t kick a man when he’s down”. I try to live by that mantra as much as I can; but then, sometimes, it is in the best interest of the greater populace for one to speak out when people are being misled by a figure who from all appearances, is beginning to exhibit signs of ‘early onset of lunacy’!

From day 1, I have never believed in this creature of accident called Nnamdi Kanu. With his ‘messianic tendencies’ and ‘uncouth utterances’, every appearance of the man only showed me a selfish individual out to make a name for himself.

Kanu managed to deceive a good number of Igbos because he was able to tap into their deep-seated grievances. They believed in him because they were angry at the government…and their grievances were mostly not out of place… but the problem is that they were placing their trust in a sham.

At first, most people looking on from the outside tried to understand Kanu’s rationale. They sought to analyze his words and find the ‘Biafran plan’. They sought for his blueprint for this Biafra- an educated and logical outline of what this future state would look like. I mean, even Nzeogwu and co had a real plan as they counted down to 1967.

But with each attempt to see reason with Kanu, his actions set off alarm bells that only turned people away. And now, it is safe to say that Nnamdi Kanu is operating from a mental plane far away from the realm of normalcy. Something has gone wrong somewhere.

Now, sincerely, this is not me putting down another individual; but I am trying
to call the attention of those who hold some sort of influence with Kanu, that the time has come for an ‘intervention’. Remember when people began whispering that something was going wrong with Kanye West? His followers initially cried foul; but not long after, the true picture emerged. Kanye West suffered a mental breakdown…publicly!

At first, the words of Kanu were seen as quite comical; but these days, it is becoming alarming because it’s giving us a glimpse into the true state of his mind. And lately, it has been one outrageous statement after another.

It is one thing to call Nigeria a zoo; but when you start saying that certain individuals are in ‘homosexual circles’, or that the president is actually not the president- that the individual appearing currently as Buhari is actually a Sudanese man previously known as Jubril- then it is safe to say that Nnamdi Kanu is not okay! Something has gone wrong with the man! And if I were one of his followers, I would be alarmed!

Kanu’s ridiculous (and crazy) utterances are starting to take attention off whatever genuine grievances the Igbos may have. Actually, I think it is starting to rub off negatively on all peoples of Igbo origin who support this ‘Biafran cause’.

When I hear from those who follow this Biafra/Kanu news, most of them simply shake their heads and say something like “so this is the man the Igbos are following!” As in, this ‘crazy fellow’!

IPOB supporters are not respected by the larger section of Nigerians who see them as ‘touts’, and ridicule them because of their leader. If this does not give them cause for concern, then we can conclude that both the followers as well as their leader are all drinking from the same ‘contaminated water supply’.

Dear lovers of Nnamdi Kanu, your ‘hero’ needs help. And before he suffers a public meltdown that would completely destroy you all, I advise that you get him the (medical) attention he urgently needs!

Again, this is by no means meant to kick a man when he’s down (because make no mistakes, Kanu is mentally down), but it is simply an alarm to save others from being led to complete destruction.

A stitch in time saves nine…a word is enough for the wise!

This opinion piece was written by Buchi Obichie.

https://www.naij.com/1123579-why-ipob-nnamdi-kanu-medical-by-buchi-obichie.html

The Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Edgal Imohimi, has ordered the removal of the Officer-in-Charge, Anti-Kidnapping and Anti-Cultism Squad, State Criminal Investigation and Intelligence Department, CSP Akinade Adejobi.

Adejobi and his officers were alleged to have taken N50,000 for the bail of one Blessing Taiwo, over an alleged theft.

They were also alleged to have seized the victim’s phone pending when a balance of N20,000 would be paid on Tuesday.

Blessing’s sister, Florence, had claimed she (Florence) was sexually harassed by the policemen who put hands into her private parts and breasts anytime she took food to her sister in the cell where Blessing was locked up with a mad woman.

She had said one of the policemen had been pestering her with telephone calls, asking to see her.



Details later….


http://punchng.com/breaking-n50000-police-bribe-lagos-cp-orders-removal-of-oc-anti-kidnapping/