₦airaland Forum

Vewi vewi annoying...

Dogs of nowadays are going Hardcore

True Story.....

Shey na ds same mouth he wan use kiss Chidinma?

Ice Ice bebe, shake dt A** jst lyk dice bebe

U fine pass by last babe!

Children are God's gift.

The other day at Shiloh 2013, a lady gave testimony for missing her Period for the first time in 12years.

She's trying to prevent anoda Clinton and Lewinsky scandal.

Meanwhile, some naija babes be like....Nkechi, fear no dey catch you abi?
Na my bobo you snap picture with..ehhh

.....and ds stale crap made FP.

Brainzcarter@yahoo.com
Thanks

This might be the best thing I’ve seen in a while:

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

http://laluttecontinue.tumblr.com/post/20069287160/a-letter-from-jp-morgan-ceo-to-gold-diggers

Turkey 'bastard' indeed

It's a normal yearly Crusade for My Father My Father Church in Calabar...u need see d way they make noise abt it.

This one na dieeee!

Paul Walker, star of the "Fast and Furious" films, died Saturday in a single-car accident and explosion.The actor died in a car accident and explosion in Southern California, first reported by TMZ. Walker's Facebook page then confirmed the report.
Universal, the studio behind the "Fast and Furious" franchise, released the following statement: "All of us at Universal are heartbroken. Paul was truly one of the most beloved and respected members of our studio family for 14 years, and this loss is devastating to us, to everyone involved with the FAST AND FURIOUS films, and to countless fans. We send our deepest and most sincere condolences to Paul's family."The TMZ report states the accident occurred in Santa Clarita, just north of Los Angeles. The actor was reportedly riding in a Porsche that lost control for an unknown reason and hit a post or tree before bursting into flames.Photos: The Life & Career Of Paul Walker.Walker was currently filming the seventh film in the "Fast and Furious" franchise. On November 29, the actor tweeted the following update:
The boys are back. Will you be ready? - #TeamPW #FastFridays (Photo Credit: http:///kkce2shzvM) pic.twitter.com/RDnrDBGs2n
— Paul Walker (@RealPaulWalker) November 30, 2013

http://m.mtv.com/news/article.rbml?id=1718268&source=hp&hp=ts-2

Nice piece!

What do u expect from him after lavishing Taxpayers' money on BBA's Dillish?

delvinmaya: seeing some comments here makes me ask, do you just watch the ball without knowing stuffs? Even those sayin he should go to porto, who is he going to bench there? Abi na so him go just enter first team like that? Shior, na wa oooooo.
some day talk say man city no grow players? makes you wonder if shaun wright philips, micah richards, nedum onuoha, joe hart didnt come through their academy. Even if he goes to arsenal, is he going to bench giroud? no be academy him go go cool him legs first? Abegi. Already, all elite clubs in the champions league have their academy players facing off in a junior champions league, facing the exact teams their senior teams are facing, so make una chill. anywhere he goes, him go grow, abi no be wetin we want be dat?

All ds guys u mentioned are English boys, even at that you see what happened to Adam Johnson, Sturridge, Scot Sinclair, Jo(brazilian), even Adebayor, the list goes on...they were not patient with ds guys.

Nawa oooo! Kept searching buh I couldn't find my peeps....

Ndiowu or Ufuma, Orumba North LGA. Anambra State

No dulling!

Conversation with a Golden Eaglet parent

Telephone rings…….

Chief Effiong……Hello who is this?

Alhaji Maigari...If I am on to Chief Effiong, I am Aminu Maigari the President of the NFF

Chief Effiong….Ah interesting how are you? You are the one who wants to teach me how to manage my son? When I bought him his first ball when he was three years old where were you? At age six, I got him a football boot because I knew he was destined for greatness.
You needed to be at my house on that day of the final. Over fifty people came to watch the match with me. Neighbours, relatives and well wishers they all came.
And my wife had to cook for all of them because we knew there was going to be a celebration at the end of the match.
Do you know how much we spent for food and the drinks?
Without consulting me as the father, you went and wrote the two million naira cheque in his name. Do you know how much we spend every time he plays? You went and wrote a two million naira cheque in the name of a 16 year old?
I want to return the cheque so that you can reissue it in my name.

Alhaji Maigari.….on the contrary sir, I advice that you use the cheque to open an account in his name, so that as he grows up you can help him to invest and….

Chief Effiong.. ( cuts in ) Invest what? I have told you what we have put in so far to bring him to this level and you want to put enmity between me and my son?

Alhaji Maigari….God forbid sir. In fact that is why I called to first of all congratulate you for siring a child who has the potential of becoming a great footballer if properly nurtured

Chief Effiong….Did you hear when I told you that I knew he was going to be great? Look if not for injury, today I would have been one of Nigeria’s best footballers. I played for my primary school and I was always the one called upon to take corner kicks…

Alhaji Maigari….No wonder your son is so good. Congrats Sir. As earlier said we will find time to sit with you and discuss how best to handle your son’s future, because right from UAE, we noticed the influx of scouts who we believe can short circuit the future of these boys if we do not intervene.

Chief Effiong…listen Alahaji Maigari, I am not a novice, I know what is good for my son and I do not need you to tell me about his future…

Alhaji Maigari.….hold on sir, talk to the Honourable Sports Minister.

Chief Effiong….Hon Minister, are you one of those who want to reap from where you did not sow?

Hon Minister…..I beg your pardon Chief…..reap from where we did not sow? If you must know. We are the ones that have sowed. This country invested millions in those children. For the past three years we have given them the best in terms of comfort of living and personal development. I don’t know about your son, but nearly all those kids stayed in hotels for the first time when we took them over. None of them had flown in an aircraft before. Since we adopted them they have benefited the best of training from first class coaches and international academies.
Ask them about the Aspire Academy in Dubai, five star hotels, best of airlines……they owe this country Sir you owe us for bringing your child to the level where he has become a global celebrity…dines with Presidents, met face to face with Mr Vice President, Senate President, Speaker of The House, Ministers…..

Chief Effiong ….Hon Minister, I withdraw my statement.. I think you have a point there…..I apologise. In fact it was when he always came back from camp that we discovered he could eat rice with a fork and knife.

Hon Minister.…Apology accepted. Sir I asked the NFF President to call you because I heard, and authoritatively too, that an agent offered you one million naira which you collected….

Chief Effiong….Don’t go there….don’t just go there. A whole country gave my son two million naira, an individual brought one million naira and you are querying me…?

Hon Minister…The federal Government’s donation was an appreciation, one that is bound to open the flood gates for more of such. The one million naira from the agent may be an invitation to slavery, a bet that you may regret…..

Chief Effiong …What makes you think you people are the only ones that know about football?

Hon Minister.…Far from it, we are not the only ones, but this is our culture medium. We plan and sincerely too to bring together experts in the business to sit down with all the parents of the kids and the kids themselves to advice on the way forward. We have multiples examples of bright youngsters whose careers were destroyed by self seeking and selfish agents. We do not want that to happen to this glorious bunch at our disposal.
Let me also congratulate you for being the father of such a wonderful footballer as I hand you back to the NFF President

Alhaji Maigari….So sir we are planning to come and see you.

Chief Effiong….Are you coming alone?

Alhaji Maigari…No sir, I am likely to come with one of the coaches and the chairman of the technical committee of the NFF. In fact if possible with other members of that committee including Chairman Christian Chukwu, JJ Okocha, Victor Ikpeba, Garba Lawal…….those who have seen it all and are in a position to give wise counsel…….we also have your country man Paul Bassey in that committee

Chief Effiong……Ah Paul Bassey….we are proud of him. Tell him I saw him on Tv during the Algeria Burkina Faso match. He has added weight…..he is chopping FIFA money….

Alhaji Maigari....We thought so too but when we confronted him he said the cold forced him to wear two jackets that is why he appeared fat…

Chief Effiong …..None of you will admit to chopping money until we catch you with oil on your lips. On a serious note, let me know when you will come because we must celebrate with a feast

Alhaji Maigari…..Sir, that will not be necessary. What we are coming for is serious, bordering on the future of your child and of course the sustained sports glory of this country.

Chief Effiong….My friend we in this part of this country are noted for culinary excellence ask Paul Bassey. Do you know what it means to be visited by the Award winning NFF president? I am not talking about all those junk you eat in hotels….I am talking about home made buffet that includes afangsoup, edikang ikon, white soup with goat meat to go with pounded yam, fresh fish pepper soup……..do you eat dog meat?

Alhaji Maigari…..No thanks I don’t like it.

Chief Effiong… What is no thanks? How can you not like what you have not tasted? The day you eat well prepared dog meat with unripe plantain to boot that day you will bow…..

Alhaji Maigari…(..laughter)……I pray that day does not come ( more laughter) so sir in summary of what the Honourable minister said, it is our desire and the wish of all Nigerians that these boys be guided and monitored for a better tomorrow. Rather than collect a one million that is like a one off…

Chief Effiong….President, forget this one million….forget it. I have collected it and have spent it, except you want to refund it…

Alhaji Maigari…..Sir I was saying that rather than collecting a one off, we will prefer a 500,000 thousand that will come again and again…..I give you the classic case of Mikel Obi and how two great clubs Man U and Chelsea were fighting for him. On paper, Man U was the better choice, but a lot of other factors were taken into consideration in counseling him, including playing regularly and the presence of Africans in the team that will help him settle down faster, and today Mikel is one of the world’s greatest footballers whose profile rises daily…

Chief Effiong….Alhaji Maigari, I am not dumb, I appreciate all you are trying to say…..my only concern is that you people should consider the interest of the parents in all that you do. I could not have invested so much in a child only for you to come and issue a two million naira cheque in his name..

Alhaji Maigari….Sir, again this is a one off. What we are saying here is a stable future. Go to Jos and see what Mikel has done to his parents and siblings…..Kanu, Okocha, Finidi George, Obafemi Martins. With the benefit of proper counseling and good upbringing, even the sky will not be his limit…. 
Chief Effiong…Anyway, money is like a spirit. If you don’t have, no problem, but the moment it enters your hand you feel like taking a big bottle of stout with every meal. Besides this agent looked quite honest and serious…

Alhaji Maigari…..Sir we are not saying all agents are bad. By the time we know who you are dealing with, he may just be someone we can trust.

Chief Effiong….Ok till you come. You people must bring something for me and my wifeoooooo. You are busy chopping CAF and FIFA money

Alhaji Maigari….( laughter )Have I also added weight? You must be a very interesting person.

Chief Effiong….See let me tell you, did you see that first goal my son scored? That was me in my youth. All I needed from my team mates was for them to put the ball in my left leg and off I went. My nick name was okokobioko…….

Alhaji Maigari ( prolonged laughter….)
See you next week.

Efewestern: My gf was telling her friend that if she see's a guy that will pay her diary n do her marriage, that she will break-up with me & leave me to that guy!
Just imagine n she z just 19...

Dowry...nt Diary

Asabeq: Na today? Where is farouk and the oyo woman that stole 5bn pension fund??

...in the other news:

The smallest bank in the world was found in Nigeria. It housed a lot of cash in foreign currency. The bank's name is Hon. Mallam FAROUK's CAP

All the Vaseline users should fall in this category.

NOVEMBER 6, 2013 BY OZIOMA UBABUKOH, ENUGU
37 Comments
Governor Sullivan Chime of Enugu State on Tuesday night denied subjecting his wife, Mrs. Clara Chime, to house arrest and has vowed to protect her from being exposed to ridicule.

Chime made this denial in the presence of some journalists, his wife and her elder brother, Mr. Tony Igwe.

Also present were the governor’s siblings, Mrs. May Oji and Dr. Jide Chime, as well as Mrs. Chime’s neuro-psychiatric doctor, Dr. Aham Agumuo, among a few others.

At the interview session, the governor’s wife denied sending any petition to the National Human Rights Commission alleging unlawful detention by her husband.

She also denied hiring the services of Mr. Femi Falana to seek her freedom from an alleged house arrest at the Governor’s Lodge, Enugu.

Falana had claimed in his letter to media houses and the Inspector-General of Police that he was engaged by the governor’s wife to seek her freedom from alleged house arrest.

The state governor, however, stated that it was “so disturbing” for him to speak out publicly about his wife’s health challenges.

He vowed to do all within his power, no matter the personal pains, to protect her from ridicule.

“Well, my wife has some medical challenges and it would be very unkind for me to talk about her condition on the pages of newspapers.

“I have done everything to protect her integrity and I’m not now going to expose her to ridicule because some people want to exploit her situation to drag me into a needless war of words,” Chime said.

http://www.punchng.com/news/im-protecting-my-wife-from-ridicule-chime/

Booty butt chic: Hello fellow Nlders,I have a friend who loves taking kush,codeine,several shits and stuffs like that,and I noticed most people around him knows that because he even posts pictures of him sniffing shits on social networks and they don't even seem to care....

so I took time out today after thinking of how to make my approach and also saw that thread on majek fashek,so I picked up courage talked to him seriously and also showed him pictures of majek fashek,he freaked out and was like can I help him ,

What can he do to stop taking does things.......SO I decided to bring it down here....You should please drop any advice or procedure you feel is right for him.......

Booty butt chic: Current ringtone-lil wayne bitches love me,...dat beginin(am on a good "kush and alcohol" makes people go crazy

Are you thinking wat I'm thinking?

Good Morning NLers. Please did anybody else receive this SMS from WorkForce? I can't remember writing any Bank Aptitude Test conducted by them, yet I received this:

You are invited for a Banking Interview on Wed 6/11/2013 at Dannic Hotels,Plot 33 Circular Road, Presidential Estate, Behind Zenith bank, GRA Junction, Port Harcourt, by 9am. log on www.wfmcentre.com/wfmcos/2013 to download your documentation forms. Come with 2 updated CVs, the completed forms and all your Credentials. Dress Code: Strictly Corporate. Pls ignore if you have had interview with us within the last 6 Months.

brainzcarter@yahoo.com

Thanks bro. God bless!

Ds one follow na

Donovan: @Luvola;drop ur e-mail address.

brainzcarter@yahooo.com....God bless u more!

See as Olamide resemble one blind man for Ojuelebga