₦airaland Forum

moonert:
I used Accurate ovulation kit and it said negative throughout my fertile 5 days the cycle I conceived. I don't believe those kits.

mubzay:
@britney: dnt beat urslf to hard. Body differs thus it myt take a while b4 d pills wear off frm ur system. Wud aviced u go back for d scan n repeat a blood pt. Who knows, u myt be preggy? Be +ve. Cheers!!!

iceboo:
this is exactly the story of my life. After waiting for one year, we started TTC did February yet no show. I regret waiting.
this cycle I noticed a change in my body; only my right boob is extremely sore. I just hope its a good sign.
Just relax God will do it at his time. keep praying too.
Fertility blessings......

helovesme:
i hope so too. But even with that, i feel sick already at the thought of one's vjay getting sliced. the fear of episotomy is REAL.

tchiwinnie:
. I fear too o. Lets hope it was a figure of speech cos no b razor we dey use cut o.

MGeey:
It depends on your location. I used Uniuyo health center (not teaching hospital) and I have no regrets though I just learnt their doctors don't do nights. My reasons for using them was because:
- The queue wasn't much (for working mums)
- You get to see only one doctor and he's quite experienced.
- Their facilities are cleaner and the environment serene.

Others that are good too are the Uniuyo Teaching Hospital (if you can stand the crowd) and St. Luke's hospital, Anua.

bossmum:
Hi mommas in the house. I'm a FTM and I've been trying to read up on the previous pages but mehnnn...the thing no grew finish , but I will continue to try. I've really learnt a lot from this thread.
Please can anyone living within Uyo and it's environs give me a name of a good hospital with good gynecologists for antenatal as I just moved down here. I'm 10weeks+.
Pls overlook my mistakes o, as I'm still trying to figure out how to comment on nairaland. #jjcineverything

coderXO:
I've seen alot of posts with women that have been supportive to their men.
This is the ideal situation. In such an environment where everything is shared and in the open, a man certainly has no reason to
put any one else as his next of kin. Even if such was the case before they got married, he would eventually get it changed
when the relationship between he and his wife has developed far deeper than anyone else in his nuclear family.

This is how it ought to be.

However, the problem is some of these women are something else.

Their approach is that what the man brings home is for the home, but what she
personally brings home is hers.

So imagine a scenario like that.

I pray God gives us all wisdom to deal with these sort of matters and most importantly
helps us marry the right person.

There are many husbands and wives today that have no business been together.

Totfulguy:
Britney, I am married and my wife is my next of kin. However, there are reason why some men make their brothers their next of kin and, in some instances this is excusable. Below are possible scenarios where a man would make his brother a next of kin.
1. Tradition: In our part of the (I assume your husband is from the southwest, southeast, south-south of Nigeria) tradition its is expected that the man's interest will best be protected by a member of the family. It is also assumed that the brother is the closest part of the nuclear family and is therefore in the best position to keep the "family name" in the event of the demise of the brother. This is actually a baseless tradition.
2. Circumstances: If you have the luck (or a lack of it) of marrying a treacherous woman, who does not share true family ideals and who does appreciate the value of working as a team with you, you will most like not want to have her as next of kin. It can also be vice versa.
3. Friends: It is also possible that your the company a man keeps could influence his attitude and posture when it comes to who his next of kin would be. He may be getting insinuations from friends who are advising him wrongly. It is unfortunate, that some of us allow others to tell us about the ones we should know better.
My suggestion: My take on this is that you need to thread cautiously. A lot is involved in this situation that you should weigh carefully before taking the decision to confront him or hold your own. I know that a lot will be running through your mind at this point-you may be thinking of your children (if any), yourself and tomorrow. But I will advise that you try to hold your own. It will be easy if you have a means of earning an income. Three things are clear...
1.There is a need for you keep your marriage safe and sane (If the conditions are right and there is no threat to life or livelihood)
2.There is need for you to keep something aside for your future. Actually even if you were your husbands next of kin, you would still need to keep something aside for yourself and kids because life itself is uncertain. I encourage my wife to do the same and I do not pry into her income or savings...that is her privacy.
3.It will matter how you handle the situation as it will affect your relationship with your husband. Again, you have to thread carefully. There is a lot on my mind and I could talk more if I were to speak one-on-one with you. I WISH YOU THE BEST!

TheRainmaker1:
It never hurts to have a little money of your own somewhere. However, that shouldn't be simply because your husband hasn't listed you as his next-of-kin & beneficiary; after all, there's no guarantee that you'll outlive your husband.

It is possible that your husband chose his brother as next of kin, before he married you, and just hasn't deemed it necessary to review it since then (I use my younger brother as my next of kin and beneficiary for everything I do for now, because I'm not married).

This isn't something that should cause trouble, since it can easily be rectified if you talk about it.

If you already have kids, let him know that his kids should be the primary beneficiary of his investments and pension. However, if you don't have kids yet, he may not want you to be the beneficiary, as he may feel that should anything happen to him, you may marry someone else, and he has to look out for his family.

This is where the issue of love and trust come into play. I sense that you guys have trust issues, since you aren't his confidante. You need to take steps to address this, rather than running off to start saving money of your own, which may further deepen the distrust, if he finds out.

Billyonaire:
If you have kids, then your first son should be made next-of-kin. If you have no kids, its natural for a man to make his brother the next of kin. But if you make contributions to the house, then certainly make a baby to solve these issues.

BillyOpe:
Really, I think you should talk to him. If you already have kid(s) and he still feels his brother should be his next of kin, I think there's more to the matter than meets the eye. He definitely must Whave a reason, find the best time to talk to him.

Brugo:
You need to work on yourself. He loves you but he does not trust you to be fair and financially responsible.

veave:
Calm down. Your marriage is still new. Those were firms filled before you came into the picture. Wait until you get a baby then you can start fighting solidly.
Meanwhile, adjust your self financially. Na so love do you reach sotey you carry access give oga to all your finance. I doff my hat for you.

nedu2000:
If my wife makes life a living hell for me,I'll do d same thing
Mrs wifey look at. the mirror

Dyt:
Hmmnmnn

If I say anything now, they will call me names

But sorry o woman
U are very dumb
Lived n living all ur life for a man, even without seeing his will u shld have made smth for ursef, well welcome to the real world

Flautist:
Yet to have a child??

lordeasy: I get ur point Sis. In conservative societies such as d one we live in(nigeria), a lot of men feel it z a bruise on deir egos if deir significant other bring up dis issue. If I may suggest, pls let it slide for now. Bringing up dis issue to him as regularly as u two make love WILL hurt his feelings. May I state at dis point dat yl sex is an important component of marriage, der r A LOT MORE to a successful marriage than sex.Concentrate on and strengthen oda aspects of marriage(going out for walks, going out for picnics, visiting funs spots, PRAYING TOGETHER, studying d bible together, doing housechores together and oda areas of interests that u too love doing TOGETHER). If he sees and recognises dat u r playing a huge role in solidifying d marriage, he will have no oda choice dan to reciprocate d gesture by making u happy in bed as best as he can. He will open up more, take up advice from u abt d less-dan-satisfactory sex life. It isn't as easy as I v stated sha. Pls pls and pls, DO NOT NAG HIM abt ur sex life. U don't wanna give him d impression dat for u, sex (however impt it is) is d ultimate feel-good factor in marriage.Thanks so much for this advice! The best so far. Wil give serious thought to it. I appreciate.
Cheers

lordeasy: @angela, ur suggestion is quite....off d mark(forgive me if my assessment seemed impolite). She z asking for suggestions as to hw her man can last longer in bed(since he z a 3-min man) and nt abt hw she can "satisfy" him in bed
. She seems a lot more experienced(sexually) than her hubby.
@britneyspice,you nid to lovingly and tactfully talk to him and express ur concerns,then go(u and hubby) arrange an appointment with ur doctor or a sex therapist(some medical doctors act in both capacities thou). He/she will give medically sound suggestions as to hw he will last longer in bed(and not d alomo and oda herbal mixture thingy wey pple dey always use indiscriminately without sparing any tot to future health implications)
Happy married life gurl

glitest: Buy some Viagra pills at a pharmacy or online....Its a blue pill that helps with getting it to stay up .



I don't think you'll want to continue describing your husband as "homely"; It has a totally different meaning....Its not what you think it is.

glitest: Buy some Viagra pil



I don't think you'll want to continue describing your husband as "homely"; It has a totally different meaning....Its not what you think it is.

angela98: Please check your heart deep down well if you truly and genuinely love this guy. If u can be able to acknowledge and accept the fact that he is not perfect, why can't u accept his poor bed performances. My dear, it takes two to tango. You can help him to improve in that area. You need to learn to how touch him at the right spots during romance. There are ways u will touch a man, he would want to have sex with u all the time. As a young girl, in marriage u have a lot to learn. There are so many tips but let me give u one...when both of you are together playing Romance ensure that you ain't wearing bra and always place his hands on your nippples...make him play with it...contact me if u want more tips to spice up up your marital sex life.

Danhumprey: Where is ITbomb? He can give better suggestions.




By the way,I think this thread should be moved to the Family section.

Bunchersstab: Wen a guy demand for more sex ladies will complain if he is a one minute man dey will complain ladies pls wat do u want Women and sex if a guy has more sexual expirience dey will complain & if he a novice dey will talk God wat creature is dis (women)

Well, buy enof best sellers movies (adult version) & watch 2geda wit him....

buy moringa tea or advice him to start taking bitter kola & alomo bitters.

*Tnk me leta*

Danhumprey: Bear with him. He seem to be new to the game. As in,he is a sex-novice.

As much as possible,help in everyway when you people are having sex. Don't just lie on the bed like a log of dead wood. Suggest different sex styles and patiently help him adapt to them. It may take time and patience,but I tell you it's worth much more that losing your marriage because of the temptation to cheat.