₦airaland Forum

Mindfulness:
Some stranger's remarks on a faceless forum are a big deal?
I don't get it. You can even insult my mother now and it won't make any difference to me, my life and my happiness.

Anyway, we are derailing. I am not sorry but I want you to know that I didn't mean to insult you.

I don't want you to be sorry, but I expect you to be civil. I consciously avoid people that come here to haul insults like their life depends on rudeness.

Mindfulness:
I don't even know your family so relax. People mention my family here all the time to get their point across. It doesn't mean that they want to insult me or any of my family members, that they don't even know. No big deal.

It's rude, as enlightened as you are you should know that. I find it distasteful because once you start mentioning family members that you don't know,a light hearted discussion can quickly degenerate to insults. You attack the issue , not the individual you are discussing with. Maybe no big deal for you if someone makes rude remarks about your loved ones, it's a big deal for me.

Mindfulness:
I am showing you the implications of your beliefs. I enjoyed the conversation too.

You don't involve people 's family no matter the point you are trying to make. You talk of Nigerian mentality but you are not yet rid of it. Do you think that mentioning one's family makes you score?There are lines you don't cross to maintain a healthy discuss . Actually your beliefs have more implications than mine, a human being with no sense of time is in trouble.

Mindfulness:
No, she is arguing for her limitations. I am sure of my value.


I hope her husband does not share her mindset else he will be with her out of a false sense of responsibility while admiring and desiring younger flesh once she begins to feel like a grandma at 30.

You are personalising it? Thought you to be a matured individual . Nice chatting with you though.

PresVA:
Mindfulness is being idealistic while byvan is being realistic... given the Nigerian environment. .

Enjoying the debate

Don't enjoy only, participate .

Miami11:
My sister married at 35 and she still attracted plenty of suitors,
Age is just a number

Quality of suitors is what we are talking about . Among the plenty suitors, a good percentage will be hit and run .

Mindfulness:
Didn't you say that forcing marriage will not end up well? So why are you saying now that one should get married young?

And one more time, I still have the luxury to be selective, in my 30s. How old are you to think that 30+ is old?

If she made a choice when she was younger, she wont be here paying her own bride price. Now she is almost dragging the man into it kicking and thrashing. Plenty of time to right your wrong if you make a mistake at a younger age.

Michelle Obama? You think she is still attractive ? Well maybe for men her age and older, certainly won't get a marriage proposal from a young Nigerian man .

johnson232:
i

the older a woman gets will certainly contribute to the kind of suitors that comes her way...

Thank you! This is just my point

Mindfulness:
There are millions of desirable 30 + and 40+ women out there. Many of them are more desirable than some girls in their 20s.

Beyonce is 30+ and she can have plenty of well-to-do men who even look much better than JayZ.
Genevieve Nnaji can select a different one every day. I am sure she could even found a harem.
Michelle Obama could get married to some other cool dude next year.
Oprah Winfrey has a good man by her side without being married to him.
Even KanwuliaExtra is enjoying herself even though she is slightly older than 20. Keep enjoying yourself!


Women are much more powerful than they give themselves credit for.

Genevieve said she desires to be married, if she has found a harem, what then is she waiting for to make a choice? Age is an undeniable factor in Nigeria and most of your examples doesn't apply here. Kanwulia whom you mentioned is married, so yes one can enjoy life till death. My point remains that one should settle when she still has the luxury of time to be selective . Desirability isn't the issue here, we are talking commitment.


My Ma is still desirable at 48, it doesn't mean a 35 years old Nigerian man will be interested in marrying her if she was single ,does it? So desirability it's a different kettle of fish from our discuss.

Mindfulness:
If women in other parts of the world can have more confidence, Nigerian ladies can have it too.
It is time to change the mindset too many Nigerian ladies have. It is unhealthy to think of oneself as someone whose worthiness depends on age.

And I will tell you one more thing, I can be even selective in the Nigerian context. In fact, easily. And trust me, there was a phase in my 20s when I was thinking that my desirability will diminish in my 30s. The opposite is the case. (Not braggin.)

It isn't about confidence level, any woman can be desirable as long as the man isn't required to commit to her . I believe in reality check, the older a woman gets , the older the suitors that might be interested in committing. Sometimes the quality of men coming is defected due to her age, it happens. I still feel that a woman that wants to be selective should do so when time is hers to play with so she doesn't end up paying her own bride price.

Mindfulness:
In Nigeria.



I am married with kids and I can still be selective if I choose to. My value does not depend on a number.



I have been dating for many years before I got married. I wasn't particularly eager to do so but did it for pragmatic reasons in the first place.

I speak solely for the Nigerian contest, pretending to be selective at 32 here is self deceit. Maybe in other parts of the world, one might be selective even at 100. You only select when you have options to choose from at that age, 32 has entered fasting and prayer matter#in Nigerian reality #. One might pretend to be selective even when there is nothing to select from.

Mindfulness:
You are right on this one.

I just wonder why she has spent five years of her life with him if he is the way the OP describes him.
And I wonder why the mother is so eager to get her daughter married to someone who is so useless.

The OP is bias. She is unable to see the full picture. My guess.

Most women will settle for anyone when they are past their 30th birthday, a 32 years old unmarried lady is no spring chicken. The reason I feel that ladies that intend to get married should do so when they still have the choice of being selective. I also don't understand the eternal dating thing, some people have no sense of time .

You should have level 7.

Mindfulness:
Did they hold a gun to his head?

Well, they will soon reap the rewards of by fire by force marriage.

Confront ke? Just let them know you are aware and move on with your life, gift them each other .

Your mum and sister practically forced him into this marriage. whatever is the outcome, take it as it comes.

Nah who get time dey sieve akamu,you help when you want and that's it.

OP that's generalisation , there are men that have never removed their wedding rings since their wedding.

B will do.

Thanks for the patronage ladies, keep it coming.

PlayerMeji:
I know that not many men can decide to walk away when someone so close to them like the wife stands before them to talk shi't at their faces.

Only hypocrites would come here and begin to say otherwise.

Women should learn too that the tongue does more damage to a man's integrity than anything.

There are no men with damaging tongues? If they don't hit other men that vexed them, they have no right to hit a woman that never attempted any act violence on them.

She looks better with out the make up, this is way too much.

Lizypumping:
You better zzzoom come here now... where u think u going

Please don't worry your head about what isn't your problem, this life is too beautiful to worry about fickle things. Keep an open mind and enjoy your marriage, never judge him by others experiences.

PlayerMeji:
Sorry to say this but I want to believe that what you said could be true.

She definitely looks like those kind of ladies that could challenge a man or degrade a man with their tongues, there is no joy in her face!

For tongue lashing, the man can always walk away but grabbing his collars and shoving him around? Hmmm....wetin the person see make she take. You can't hit someone just because you didn't like what she said.

For 1 year or less only? make I just dey zoom nah.

Terrible!! Yet I sincerely hope she didn't go locking him by the collar because some women have the capability to unleash hidden monstrosity. I hope the story is really as it was told here, no excuse to beat a woman but not when she attacked first. It's no longer battery in that case, it's self defence.

delishpot:
Exactly how they advice women shey?

Yes nah

Kanu's wife is just razor sharp .

refiner:
..lwkmd...u wicked oo

I have no business with those people jare, I prefer to relate to God directly .

Nothing good will ever come out of a man that can abandon his child and not look back. Marry him and regret.