₦airaland Forum

DebbyChris:
Jesus is the only way to the father(God) if u don't believe in him u are already condemn. No matter ur door to door preaching, not believing in Jesus has made that ur great art of preaching useless.

meshacha1:
A Psychiatric Doctor stumbled over his patient
holding a book and trying to hide it.
Doctor: "what is this?"
Patient: "this is the book I wrote. Total 500
pages."
Doctor- "Wow, you wrote 500pages! Thats
impressive, What did you write?"
Mad Patient: "1st page I wrote ...The king rode
on a horse & went towards the jungle. And on
the last page I wrote the king finally reached the
jungle."
Doctor- "Great!! and the rest of 498 pages what
did you write?"
Mad Patient- "I wrote; tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdiktigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik ti
tigdiktigdik...tigdik tigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik....
tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik tigdik tigdik
tigdiktigdik.... tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik. Tigdik ti
tigdiktigdik...""
(The sound of the horse running)
Doctor: "who will read your story?"
Patient: "I'll post it on Nairaland and my friends
will surely read it... I mean they are reading now
____
Happy Sunday you all

menabae:
I think there is an elements of truth in ur post,I'm an isoko girl,and there is a village call asaba-ase meaning small asaba in isoko land,these people speaks both isoko and igbo fluently #fact# even some words in isoko rhyme in igbo e.g ude cream,aferri-plate. Not sure of the spellings sha

seankay:
When will EFCC probe Masan Musa?

WETINUSABI:
Omo Yoruba nimi o....swagger!!!

ELTON123:
[s]

my dog de hungry for ur toto

[s][/s]

baski92:
na sweet pass, is like you never hear of me before https://www.nairaland.com/2668892/she-angry-me-cause-told

baski92:
Money good oo,, if na me babe tell me say she is pregnant, na how to remove am be the next thing.

Naijasinglegirl:
http://naijasinglegirl.com/the-moimoi-that-refused-to-orgasm/

FemiFaniKayode:
[size=13pt]These SCAMMERS from across the Niger again!!!
Hian dey no dey taya? shidioke abi na Chidioke der is goduoooooo[/size]

eleko1:
Pastor CHIJIOKE of BWEAST SUCKING Ministry .I dey imagine how Biafra country go bi

JAZES:
There was this particular lecturer in my department when I was still in school. We all knew him to be a womanizer. He liked all kinds of women, young, old, fat, thin, tall, and short. Every girl in the department tried as much as possible not to get noticed by him. That means doing your assignment with others and coming to his classes on time so you don’t have to beg him to enter his class.

One day, (I am sure it was because I didn’t pray that morning, it gave devil the opportunity to deal with me.) It started with waking up late for classes that day. When I realized that it was this lecturer’s class we had, I just decided that I would miss the class. Only for my friend to ping me that they were registering the man’s course. I quickly dressed up wore my deeper life gown, even white powder I didn’t rub that day and ran to class. By the time I got to the department, the man had already locked the door and took attendance. That was when I knew my village people swore for me that day.

I waited till he finished teaching and joined the other late comers to go to his office to beg him. Did I tell you that our lecturers each had their own office? Well furnished o! This particular lecturer even had extra seats and curtains. May be he normally held prayer sections in his office, who knows?

I had already finished planning the lie I will tell the man, how I was very sick and just came from the school medical center. Am sure God was just watching me and my plans. (I already started with not praying now am about lie).

We reached the man’s office and started begging him to please just let us register the course even if we will miss the attendance. The man acted like we were asking Buhari to legalize gay marriage. I made sure I was very invincible in the back of the crowd.

The next thing I heard was “hey you at the back on glasses, come here”

Shoo! I joined others to turn to see who he was talking to even though I knew that it was the wall I was turning to look at. One over-sabi girl just shouted my name “Chidinma, he is talking to you o” I just used my eyes to dissect the girl. I came closer and he gave me money and some paper to photocopy for him. In my mind I was hoping that he will allow me to register after going for the errands.

I ran better than Usain Bolt that day, did the photocopy and came back. As I was getting closer to his office I noticed that my classmates were no longer there. I became sacred. I quietly knocked on his door and he asked me to come in. as I stepped in he asked me to close the door. Ah! Close door ke? I just murmured the devil is a liar. I banged the door but made sure it wasn’t locked. I moved closer to him and gave him the documents.

He now asked me my name I quickly shouted the name my grandma gave me (I normally get angry when my siblings called me the name) “sir, my name is Erinma”

The next thing he asked me was “so who is eating this bush meat you carrying around?”

I quickly checked if I had mistakenly carried someone’s bush meat when I went to do photocopy only to see I was carrying only my bag.

“Sir, it’s just my hand bag am carrying o; there is no bush meat here”

“So you don’t know what I mean? You are trying to form for me abi?



“No o sir I honestly don’t know.”

Ok, then, who is enjoying this bush meat you are carrying in front of you. Which of the guys?

Oh! He was talking about breasties.

I suddenly became dumb. And started calling on my ancestors and God at the same time to give me the wisdom he gave Solomon in the bible so I can I get out of this situation.

“Sir nobody o”

“Hmm, so when will you give me to enjoy?”

In my mind I was calculating my fainting skills incase anything happened.

“Sir…. Sir” I suddenly became a stamarer.

I was seriously praying and promising God to even become a reverend sister if I can get out from here.

It was like God or my ancestors’ sef saw that I had suffered enough and decided to intervene.

He then asked me “where are you from”

“Enugu” I replied

“Where in Enugu?”

Sir, Ezeagu”

Ah! Ezeagu, I heard they do juju very well

I shouted “Yes sir o!, they are very good at it. In fact, both my paternal and maternal grandparents are well known native doctors in the village. Even my dad was also one but recently converted. See the lies jumping from my mouth like I was reciting National Anthem.

“Hmmm, serious?” he asked looking almost sacred

“Yes sir, you can ask around” I replied

He immediately brought out the registration booklet and told me to find my name and sign across it and leave his office

I quickly took the book, signed my name and ran away.

Since then the man doesn’t even answer my greeting and I made sure I escaped his wahala till I graduated.

By: chidinma igbokweuche

Visit: http://www.onlineleaks247.com/index.php/2015/11/05/my-experience-with-my-perverted-lecturer/

MosakuAW:
Congrats to her.

Next we want to hear is that, she dey celebrate her 1yr wedding anniversary and not birthday.

That age of her with the tag "Miss" needs to be change as soon as possible.

JOOHEL:
Pls help me out!!
I WANT TO MARRY Ooo!!!
I'm planning to marry PRECIOUS but
HALIMOT is more beautiful...
MODINAT has a nice character than
TOLU but
BARAKAT is a nice
girl, But come to think of it i still love
DAMILOLA but
ASAFUNKE loves me
more and now
TITILAYO is also in love with me but she's too
harsh
and i don't like
RHODA's character but
HADIZAT is manageable only
that she's an Hausa girl and her father will not
allow her to marry
me...
I remember that i promised to marry TOKE but
ELIZABETH
says i must marry her and
FUNMI will never let me go even when
TOSIN insist she loves me and
OMOSEEKE is still chasing me... Mean
while i love
TOYIN but she wont let me in cos she's seeing
me as a
cheat and i don't really like
IKEOLUWA cos she's too fat and
AJOKE Is too
brave... Wait o!
BASIRAT is beautiful but the girl is too sharp jare
and i can't marry
AISHAT cos she's smaller than me,
OMOWUMI and
YETUNDE likes wearing trousers alot which i
don't like even
KEMISOLA and
OKIKIOLA who wears skimpy skirts is better than
HELLEN
and
CHRISTIANAH who likes three quarter jeans but
BUKOLA's
father is rich or should i go for
TAIWO that always call me everyday
but
SOFIYAT too text me everyday... Oh God!
BLESSING is my
type of girl jare but i can't stop thinking about
ABIGAIL even if i
ignore all of them and marry
DASOLA what will i tell
TOMILOLA
cos her father is a soldier...
Please what is ur Advice?

mbulela:
confusing her with CPM GO's child.
That marriage has packed up though.

marjo:
the person that married Andy of Living In Bondage fame was the daughter of the CPM Ajao estate G.O - Rev Ezekiel .

LordMecuzy:
I thought she's married to Kenneth Okonnkwo (Andy) or am I confusing her with someone else?

sanskid:
i assure u that I understand exactly what u are going through. I am even sure u don't eat as much as I do, yet I'm not fat. this night alone, I've eaten 2 galas, #70 bread, #70 akara, digestive biscuit. nd I'm cooking rice to eat again cos I'm watching a film and I don't plan to sleep till 2am. this is how I eat on a normal day, if I haven't snacked on a biscuit or soft drink, I don't feel full. But let me share with u 2 ways of how I've managed not to get fat.
1. when I have dis crazy compulsion to eat junks, I eat it well 2 my satisfaction then I go to the toilet to induce vomit. after vomiting the junks, I then eat normal foods like rice, beans etc. it is not a very healthy thing to do but desperate times they say call for desperate measures. After eating all what I've listed above, I've induced vomit, then I'll eat rice nd go to bed.
2. somedays I just decide not to eat at all, especially days I'm very busy and I completely forget about food. if u don't eat for a whole day, d next day u'll feel very light and weak and u start losing weight. u can then eat fruits.
with this methods I've managed not to get fat, nd I still eat alot of junks. A LOT. My friends wonder how I do it

zexzy:
i see 4 people and something else in this picture.

olapluto:
Is that not a dumb poster saying 'we demand for the killing of our compatriots'

Setaje:
Igbos are getting this whole thing wrong.

The issue is
1) you people don't want to accept that even though your cultures are similar, the south south or ikwere people have a right of identity. They might speak igbo but they reserve the right to be called ikwere. Itshekiri language is more like yoruba. But from day one itshekiri has always maintained their own distinctive culture.


2) you people feel the south south owe the igbos for supporting jonathan forgetting that jonathan has handsomely compensated the igbos during his government. He gave igbos juicy appointments. So they do not owe igbos anything.

3). Now you call them betrayers and traitors. A traitor is someone who does not follow true on an agreement. Now you people just assumed because u speak the same language, they will automatically accept biafra. It is wrong to assume. You did not consult anybody. So they have a right to resist been lumped into fighting for the same cause. Therefore they are not traitors.

4) now you are emotionally blackmailing them. The same way u people made it seem like your votes were very important in lagos politics because of your population is now being played in porthacourt politics. You have forgotten that whether apc or pdp win, the person is a porthacourt man and will always put the wish if his people before you. The winner remains loyal to the government of Nigeria and his people.


This is the only reason why Truckpusher and Tonye Barcanista are speaking out. Do not tamper wiv my identity. They shouldn't be called names for that. In all, they have still maintained that they have a lot of cultural similarities wiv igbos but they have their own identity. Why are u upset wiv them?