₦airaland Forum

baski92:
na sweet pass, is like you never hear of me before https://www.nairaland.com/2668892/she-angry-me-cause-told

I yaf hear now!

baski92:
Money good oo,, if na me babe tell me say she is pregnant, na how to remove am be the next thing.

You still bleep without protection in this age?

So sad!what is this country digenerating to?

Naijasinglegirl:
http://naijasinglegirl.com/the-moimoi-that-refused-to-orgasm/

Nicely written!

I smell lies!His accent sounds Kenyan.

FemiFaniKayode:
[size=13pt]These SCAMMERS from across the Niger again!!!
Hian dey no dey taya? shidioke abi na Chidioke der is goduoooooo[/size]

Are they not your inlaws?

eleko1:
Pastor CHIJIOKE of BWEAST SUCKING Ministry .I dey imagine how Biafra country go bi

Walai!

JAZES:
There was this particular lecturer in my department when I was still in school. We all knew him to be a womanizer. He liked all kinds of women, young, old, fat, thin, tall, and short. Every girl in the department tried as much as possible not to get noticed by him. That means doing your assignment with others and coming to his classes on time so you don’t have to beg him to enter his class.

One day, (I am sure it was because I didn’t pray that morning, it gave devil the opportunity to deal with me.) It started with waking up late for classes that day. When I realized that it was this lecturer’s class we had, I just decided that I would miss the class. Only for my friend to ping me that they were registering the man’s course. I quickly dressed up wore my deeper life gown, even white powder I didn’t rub that day and ran to class. By the time I got to the department, the man had already locked the door and took attendance. That was when I knew my village people swore for me that day.

I waited till he finished teaching and joined the other late comers to go to his office to beg him. Did I tell you that our lecturers each had their own office? Well furnished o! This particular lecturer even had extra seats and curtains. May be he normally held prayer sections in his office, who knows?

I had already finished planning the lie I will tell the man, how I was very sick and just came from the school medical center. Am sure God was just watching me and my plans. (I already started with not praying now am about lie).

We reached the man’s office and started begging him to please just let us register the course even if we will miss the attendance. The man acted like we were asking Buhari to legalize gay marriage. I made sure I was very invincible in the back of the crowd.

The next thing I heard was “hey you at the back on glasses, come here”

Shoo! I joined others to turn to see who he was talking to even though I knew that it was the wall I was turning to look at. One over-sabi girl just shouted my name “Chidinma, he is talking to you o” I just used my eyes to dissect the girl. I came closer and he gave me money and some paper to photocopy for him. In my mind I was hoping that he will allow me to register after going for the errands.

I ran better than Usain Bolt that day, did the photocopy and came back. As I was getting closer to his office I noticed that my classmates were no longer there. I became sacred. I quietly knocked on his door and he asked me to come in. as I stepped in he asked me to close the door. Ah! Close door ke? I just murmured the devil is a liar. I banged the door but made sure it wasn’t locked. I moved closer to him and gave him the documents.

He now asked me my name I quickly shouted the name my grandma gave me (I normally get angry when my siblings called me the name) “sir, my name is Erinma”

The next thing he asked me was “so who is eating this bush meat you carrying around?”

I quickly checked if I had mistakenly carried someone’s bush meat when I went to do photocopy only to see I was carrying only my bag.

“Sir, it’s just my hand bag am carrying o; there is no bush meat here”

“So you don’t know what I mean? You are trying to form for me abi?



“No o sir I honestly don’t know.”

Ok, then, who is enjoying this bush meat you are carrying in front of you. Which of the guys?

Oh! He was talking about breasties.

I suddenly became dumb. And started calling on my ancestors and God at the same time to give me the wisdom he gave Solomon in the bible so I can I get out of this situation.

“Sir nobody o”

“Hmm, so when will you give me to enjoy?”

In my mind I was calculating my fainting skills incase anything happened.

“Sir…. Sir” I suddenly became a stamarer.

I was seriously praying and promising God to even become a reverend sister if I can get out from here.

It was like God or my ancestors’ sef saw that I had suffered enough and decided to intervene.

He then asked me “where are you from”

“Enugu” I replied

“Where in Enugu?”

Sir, Ezeagu”

Ah! Ezeagu, I heard they do juju very well

I shouted “Yes sir o!, they are very good at it. In fact, both my paternal and maternal grandparents are well known native doctors in the village. Even my dad was also one but recently converted. See the lies jumping from my mouth like I was reciting National Anthem.

“Hmmm, serious?” he asked looking almost sacred

“Yes sir, you can ask around” I replied

He immediately brought out the registration booklet and told me to find my name and sign across it and leave his office

I quickly took the book, signed my name and ran away.

Since then the man doesn’t even answer my greeting and I made sure I escaped his wahala till I graduated.

By: chidinma igbokweuche

Visit: http://www.onlineleaks247.com/index.php/2015/11/05/my-experience-with-my-perverted-lecturer/

This is very funny! I think it should make front page

MosakuAW:
Congrats to her.

Next we want to hear is that, she dey celebrate her 1yr wedding anniversary and not birthday.

That age of her with the tag "Miss" needs to be change as soon as possible.

Go and Marry Crew!

God bless you little one!May you be greater than your parents!!

JOOHEL:
Pls help me out!!
I WANT TO MARRY Ooo!!!
I'm planning to marry PRECIOUS but
HALIMOT is more beautiful...
MODINAT has a nice character than
TOLU but
BARAKAT is a nice
girl, But come to think of it i still love
DAMILOLA but
ASAFUNKE loves me
more and now
TITILAYO is also in love with me but she's too
harsh
and i don't like
RHODA's character but
HADIZAT is manageable only
that she's an Hausa girl and her father will not
allow her to marry
me...
I remember that i promised to marry TOKE but
ELIZABETH
says i must marry her and
FUNMI will never let me go even when
TOSIN insist she loves me and
OMOSEEKE is still chasing me... Mean
while i love
TOYIN but she wont let me in cos she's seeing
me as a
cheat and i don't really like
IKEOLUWA cos she's too fat and
AJOKE Is too
brave... Wait o!
BASIRAT is beautiful but the girl is too sharp jare
and i can't marry
AISHAT cos she's smaller than me,
OMOWUMI and
YETUNDE likes wearing trousers alot which i
don't like even
KEMISOLA and
OKIKIOLA who wears skimpy skirts is better than
HELLEN
and
CHRISTIANAH who likes three quarter jeans but
BUKOLA's
father is rich or should i go for
TAIWO that always call me everyday
but
SOFIYAT too text me everyday... Oh God!
BLESSING is my
type of girl jare but i can't stop thinking about
ABIGAIL even if i
ignore all of them and marry
DASOLA what will i tell
TOMILOLA
cos her father is a soldier...
Please what is ur Advice?

Confused Fellow!

mbulela:
confusing her with CPM GO's child.
That marriage has packed up though.

Ok

marjo:
the person that married Andy of Living In Bondage fame was the daughter of the CPM Ajao estate G.O - Rev Ezekiel .

Ok

LordMecuzy:
I thought she's married to Kenneth Okonnkwo (Andy) or am I confusing her with someone else?

So I thought too. Or was it a rumor then?

Hmmm!

Good news! May God continue to keep the mother and child!!

Very soon we will see Miss Sun, Miss Moon.

sanskid:
i assure u that I understand exactly what u are going through. I am even sure u don't eat as much as I do, yet I'm not fat. this night alone, I've eaten 2 galas, #70 bread, #70 akara, digestive biscuit. nd I'm cooking rice to eat again cos I'm watching a film and I don't plan to sleep till 2am. this is how I eat on a normal day, if I haven't snacked on a biscuit or soft drink, I don't feel full. But let me share with u 2 ways of how I've managed not to get fat.
1. when I have dis crazy compulsion to eat junks, I eat it well 2 my satisfaction then I go to the toilet to induce vomit. after vomiting the junks, I then eat normal foods like rice, beans etc. it is not a very healthy thing to do but desperate times they say call for desperate measures. After eating all what I've listed above, I've induced vomit, then I'll eat rice nd go to bed.
2. somedays I just decide not to eat at all, especially days I'm very busy and I completely forget about food. if u don't eat for a whole day, d next day u'll feel very light and weak and u start losing weight. u can then eat fruits.
with this methods I've managed not to get fat, nd I still eat alot of junks. A LOT. My friends wonder how I do it

My dear,that is eating disorder you are toying with!i will suggest you get help ASAP before it degenerates.

zexzy:
i see 4 people and something else in this picture.

Badt gal!

They are right! I don't think there is any justification for stealing though.

olapluto:
Is that not a dumb poster saying 'we demand for the killing of our compatriots'

I thought I was the only one that saw that!

Setaje:
Igbos are getting this whole thing wrong.

The issue is
1) you people don't want to accept that even though your cultures are similar, the south south or ikwere people have a right of identity. They might speak igbo but they reserve the right to be called ikwere. Itshekiri language is more like yoruba. But from day one itshekiri has always maintained their own distinctive culture.


2) you people feel the south south owe the igbos for supporting jonathan forgetting that jonathan has handsomely compensated the igbos during his government. He gave igbos juicy appointments. So they do not owe igbos anything.

3). Now you call them betrayers and traitors. A traitor is someone who does not follow true on an agreement. Now you people just assumed because u speak the same language, they will automatically accept biafra. It is wrong to assume. You did not consult anybody. So they have a right to resist been lumped into fighting for the same cause. Therefore they are not traitors.

4) now you are emotionally blackmailing them. The same way u people made it seem like your votes were very important in lagos politics because of your population is now being played in porthacourt politics. You have forgotten that whether apc or pdp win, the person is a porthacourt man and will always put the wish if his people before you. The winner remains loyal to the government of Nigeria and his people.


This is the only reason why Truckpusher and Tonye Barcanista are speaking out. Do not tamper wiv my identity. They shouldn't be called names for that. In all, they have still maintained that they have a lot of cultural similarities wiv igbos but they have their own identity. Why are u upset wiv them?

Please tell them! The yoruba's are not raising dust because the Ishekiri's are not identifying With them. Why does an average Igbo throw a tantrum whenever the Ikweres or Anioma's. Simply seek a right to their identity.

EUROBOMBER:
Good morning. All this shouting os SE/SS must stop. These ss people are not worth the stress, let us play like the other big tribes.

shame on you Tonyebarcanista. I say a big shame on you. I do not support IPOB but your recent comments are shocking to say the least. All this while you were just using my gullible Igbo brothers to your own political end. God will judge you Barcanista, you old posts filled with hatred against us are still there.

Cry cry baby! Your are already giving more importance to tonyebarcanista with your comment...like his threads on Nairaland is relevant to an average IPOB member. IPOB members proly doesn't care if he exist outside Nairaland!

In as much as our government shares a greater part of the blame, we all have played a part in the decay experienced. How are our attitude towards public infrastructure?

softandmoist:
Sometimes I don't care to share this story, but I feel doing so will lessen the pain I feel with time. When I lost my dad my mom's younger sis told my mom that she wants to help me further my education. I was just out of secondary and had my baby.

I can't put down all that she did to me and the innocent baby boy.
Tell me to go to a neighbor's kiosk and collect tgings on credit, then lie to them that I misplaced the money and I will pay back. I did this so much the woman wanted to arrest me. When I asked her she told me that until I am covered by the earth like my father I should never ask her again.
She would insult my dad who wasn't even 2 weeks in the grave, call me a witch because soldier aunys entered the house.
She said I would never prosper, that no man would marry me, that my father ruined my mom's life and that how I'll end up. I can't forget, ever, even though I've forgiven her.
She'll beat me, force me to eat rubbish, as old as I was one day she just called my name and I peed on my body. It was that bad. I was like a mumu. Her baby that is just learning to talk will say I beat her, and she would beat me in return. She will tell me to feed her baby before my 9 month old baby. She said no one would imagine my son eating noodles in his life. Only pap, no milk. A growing baby.
Ah!
One day my sis came and saw me and wrote to my mom that if she doesn't come and take me away from there that she'll run away with me and she'll never find us again. That ended the episode. I forgave her.
When I was prepping for my wedding she started acting all friendly, said she knows someone who can make exotic aso oke outfits. We sent the money in August for a wedding that was to take place in December. Do you know as at Nov 30 not a single thread had been woven. I had to rush to agege to get emergency one made. She collected 70k for our 35k traditional wedding cake, told me it was 100k and she was paying for the balance.

I didn't do anything to this woman. I didn't ask to be related to her. The worst pain in my life comes from living with her. She would tell me to wash pad and reuse for menses, make me trek from Asa dam to post office.

I thank God for Me too. I have really disappointed her.

These stories. Are heart wrenching!

chrisbaba1:
[size=15pt]When i was 5 years old, i used to bedwet once in a while. My uncle used to tell me to suck the urine out with my mouth and spit it outside till the bed was dry afterwards he would flog me.

He also used to say i ate too slow (five year old boy o) and so he will say if he finishes his food before me he will collect mine and eat it, guess what? he always won, he collects my food and finishes. I couldnt report him to my mum because i would eventually suffer it, he used to threaten..... I will never allow any of my kids spend one day in an extended family house, God forbid such.[/size]

Are you for real?the funny thing is that most of these people hold strategic positions in their various churches.

queenfav:
@op at least your's happened when you were 11.Mine happened from april-july 2014.I had a problem with my law school posting for court and chambers attachment.Instead of my house local govt area in ughelli south,I was posted to Effurun.My mum had to arrange for me to stay with a family friend who was living around refinery,very close to Effurun high court.Now this couple is well travelled,both are lawyers and have been friends with my family since I was a kid.They owned the duplex they lived in, with a maid and gateman.They are very well to do.The first 2 weeks were very ok.since they had a maid,I cudnt really sweep the house because she does that.So I made sure I washed dishes anytime I saw any in the sink.I normally leave the house by 8,return 4 or 5 depending on when my court closed.I wasn't even eating breakfast in the house o,just dinner.
Everything started when she started complaining that I don't work in the house."I thought to myself, like..seriously?I had bar finals I was reading for.Was she expecting me to do eye service?"I wash dishes I meet in the kitchen without being told.Even when the househelp insists I leave it ,I still do it.She even went as far as gossiping me to her friends o.On many occasions,she would wake me by 3am on sunday.She would then pile the clothes of she,her husband and her four 4 kids for me to iron.At times after ironing for like an hour she would bring another set,that she prefers that one to the ones I have ironed.
I was so depressed at a point I couldn't read.I had to caution myself to bear.The househelp at a point stopped greeting me,because she felt we were now mates.lol.Many nights in a week,the husband would buy suya or barbecue,she wouldn't even ask if I want to eat.I would come back from court and find the fridge locked.As if the drinks they noemally keep there was my problem.she would even go as far as counting the coke inside the crate kept in the kitchen store.it got to a stage she started telling the househelp to lock her store when ever I get home.All that was to safeguard her provisions.I called my mum to tell her,she cried eh!She asked me to come back home,that even though my house was like an hour plus to the court,she would ensure I leave the house on time.I packed my things then told her I was leaving.The husband was home that night,he was shocked I even considered going.The poor man no know say e wife na countess dracula.He begged me to forget about anything that happened and stay.That one even worsened things,I will greet her at times she won't answer.On saturdays,she would instruct the househelp to tell me to sweep both upstairs and downstairs of the duplex.I was always sad..The day I was leaving to go back to school for our bar finals,my friend came to pick me up with his car back to my house.Na so the lady call me o,that I should go and mop the guest room I lived in before leaving.A room I always kept clean,and moped the tiles every friday afternoon?I almost cried!I had to come down from the car,then gave the househelp 500 to do it.My friend was so pissed.He was asking how I managed to cope for 4 months.I just told him I knew it wasn't forever.Recently she called my mum saying I don't keep in touch,I just laughed!Thank God for the bad experience o,because it spurred me to read with zeal.At least I passed my exams with honours to her shame.That's why I have vowed never to squat with any friend or relative.If I even get a job in abuja where housing is expensive,I'd rather share a room with someone ,than stay rent free in a mansion and take sh.it.Many people just become demi-gods once you are eating their food an living under their roof.Forgetting that no condition is permanent!I would not advice my enemy to squat with anyone o.Because thats when you get to see the person's true nature.

Seconded!

baralatie:

miss sokoto
miss zamfara
miss yo be

photogenic ladies!

Nice observation

Lies from the pit of hell!
Infact I dey vex for these bloggers just now.

Dottore:
This is a very nice post, very informative and scintillating. It's like someone has talked sense into the heads of mods that kept desecrating this noble forum with many meaningless celebrity poos at the expense of serious matters wasting away in other sections.

Meanwhile;
I got this on my profile by mistake:

"I believe that there is no god/God but Allah and Muhammad is His Prophet."

Can someone help me get rid of it. The thought makes me feel sick. Save my Soul

Simply open another account with a new moniker and stay away from Islamic section.

d33types:
This isn't nairahospital..
She needs to see a medical doctor and the baby examined. Usually it doesn't require treatment apart from analgesics ..it resolves on its within 2-4 days

Thanks anyway!

This one na Tubaby!