Raintaker:
Lol! Which one is refresher course? And why do you need d link?

Ah! 5minutes! You suppose know na practice purposes. Need I say more? You're practising now right?

Raintaker:
https://www.nairaland.com/2538813/importance-red-pant-bra
Thank me later.

Thanks dear. If I tell you now...
Well ayam coming let me check it out first

Modified!
Yay! I've got it. Thanks dear. Still wanna know what I intend doing with it? Refresher course...

5minsmadness

5minutesmadness

Hi 5minutes.it's been a while. Please I need one of your old post on the effects of red pant. Can you dig it up for me. I need it yesterday biko. Thanks�

half baked news, thrash

in his house
started dating a year after
got married 9yrs after dating
it's been 6yrs, 8 months now
my heart still beats wildly for him....

My problem is that most times people borrow for wedding, they do so for extravagant reasons/items. They throw parties in hotels, cook and buy drinks with borrowed money but paying back is always an issue for them. The earlier we focus on the important issues alone, the better for our living standards

Sunexy:
Name Checkers Association will be so disappointed

honestly, my heart was beginning to race till I saw the state of origin

Siena:
I don't understand what the issue is here. Your husband still has contact with his ex, you say you trust him, you say you're jealous. Huh?

I am still on good terms with my ex, we still maintain contact, big deal! I have never hidden this from my wife either. My wife still chats with her ex on occasion, I have no issues with this. I trust my wife, she trusts me. If she ever told me to cut off all contact with my ex, then we WOULD have a problem. Because I would NOT do that on her say-so.

My advise? Start trusting your man, or be prepared for resentment to set in, and risk losing him.

Sir, please kindly listen to her again.
The ex calls midnight.
The ex calls always
They chat and laugh for long
When she comes near, network becomes bad thus he goes outside for better reception.
How could any one laugh and chat with an ex continuously over months and folks are still talking about trust.
We have our exes. We talk. Not at the expense of our partner's happiness.
They have midnight calls?
No that's not fair, not right please

My issue is that I'm naturally jealous. Why do business with her? Since September last year.. Business I have not seen.. Or heard the business name. He can do business but not talking and chatting all the time. If I'm talking to him he will be busy chatting with her.... If I come close he hides his phone.
My issue is not self esteem... My issue is that I'm jealous they talk all the time + laughing too (to my hearing .. Even in mid night. She calls him

Now, he's cheating on you. She calls mid night? Why don't you pick the calls? Make sure you're close when she calls. Whenever they start talking, suspend everything you're doing and go do something near him, on him or with him. Neck him, tickle him, fumble with his trousers or boxers. What nonsense!!!

Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

You're right, a good marriage is built on tough times. But I still believe you draw strength from the good times you've had to face whatever challenges fate and marriage throws at you. Perfection is difficult but striving to achieve it is paramount. Cheating men are everywhere but do we ignore pampering them because they have that tendency? I hate and despise adultary, it's the highest form of ungodliness and betrayal but what really can a good woman do other than do her best and hope for the best?
Blade21 please I'm judging no one. The piece you quoted was a reaction to another post. Different approach work for different people per time, I believe that too. I was thinking aloud, I'm judging no one for I'm very imperfect.

pcguru1:

lol by making that statement "A lot of babes can't cook" and "you cook your own food", she kinda got you there
@OP
I don't see a big deal, no matter how much i might love someone's cooking there are certain ways some women cook that u can't resist, ave left from lagos to ilishan to eat from Iya Gbadun before, she sells ofada rice and it's out of the world. However the smiling and chit chat that's another entirely which i don't support. it should be business and business

pcguru1:

lol by making that statement "A lot of babes can't cook" and "you cook your own food", she kinda got you there
@OP
I don't see a big deal, no matter how much i might love someone's cooking there are certain ways some women cook that u can't resist, ave left from lagos to ilishan to eat from Iya Gbadun before, she sells ofada rice and it's out of the world. However the smiling and chit chat that's another entirely which i don't support. it should be business and business

You got my point

Onegai:


(Blushes) thanks

@Chidoks

No-one is saying not to care for your husband. But don't assume doing all that will keep him not cheating. It will help as a small part of building your marriage. But if you rely on all that, it will shock you to learn that he doesn't value your sacrifice the same way. Because his own idea of pampering may be an expensive gift or something else.

Example: le hubbs was out of state and his office called him to say he had to travel to another state for meetings. He had no clothes with him and his work laptop (which had some necessary programs) was in Lagos. He was already planning on flying to Lagos, rush toVI to pack and then fly out again that same day through Ikeja. I got his laptop, packed his suitcase and sent the driver to meet him at the airport, prepared and not having to rush. He sent me all sorts of kissy emoticons that day...but he wouldn't do it for any meal because he loves eating out (he reads reviews and tries the places out) and would be bored if I made up a lunchbox of what he had for dinner the night before. He may appreciate the sacrifice but won't be impressed by it. And I would be upset, because I would have expectations of him that he shouldn't have to fulfil. Then resentment will come in and oh look, there's an unnecessary fight tagging along.

He values my problem-solving ability more than waking up at 6am to pack a lunchbox. Because anyone can pack a lunchbox. Which is why a man will compare you to his maid, because you and the maid offer the exact same skill-set. When you should be different. Because wives should bring more to the table than domestic skills and yes, domestic skills are important but not the be-all and end-all.

See?

I see. Well spoken too.
However, note that I'm not discussing the entire duty of a wife, no. I voiced an observation I made at work. Not from my kitchen. If I could work and deliver in a competitive environment and enjoy all the benefits therefrom, then contribute reasonably at home ( in all spheres) I think I contribute in proferring solutions at matters arising. In fact every working class wife has such skills though varying degrees.
My observation is limited to just a part of a wife's domestic duties. Of course, I understand that some men habitually eat out. My observation centers at the ills of eating from a particular person and not limiting it to the service rendered.

richyblink1:
Been in the shoes of the said man before, I can relate.

There was this chick who normally comes to get my order daily, as I don't eat before leaving for work and finds it hard to take meal to the office.

It graduated to her getting my digits and calling often to know what I will eat. It extends to her coming personally to serve the food at our canteen even though it's already in a take away pack.

It equally graduated to my colleagues calling her my babe because she smiles whenever she comes to serve me and will ask about work and stuffs. I saw nothing bad about it till my colleagues pointed out that the lady is tripping.

It equally graduated to her calling my sweetie whenever she calls to take my order. That was when I lost my cool and told her enough. Warned her severely how it's bad for my image as a married man. In fact, my male colleagues were all speechless because I asked her to come and did it openly. While my female colleagues were happy especially the married ones that has been on my neck about not bringing meal to the office and my love for eating out.

Op, it depends on the up bringing of the said man, and his values. An irresponsible man would not wait for a lady food vendor to misbehave. They go all out depending on what triggers their lost

Yes, it depends on what triggers their lust. But with your experience, you appreciate my observation and whatever ills that may erupt if that relationship is not checked and kept within its permitted boundaries.
That was a bold step you took there. Sometimes, it's not limited to your actions/ intentions but the way you may be read/ misread.

Gloriagee:
@ Onegai - I love u

@ Op - u have no clue what is going on in people's homes n u blaming the wife for ur colleague's straying eyes is quite judgemental. Or you've not heard of ppl who share their wife's well packaged lunch with their office crush?

The Super woman wife will wake up, get the kids ready n possibly head off to work n must still pack food for hubby. Yes she can, if the benefit does not exceed the stress but if the stress is too much, let hubby buy food n keep his emotions in check. Afterall if she starts looking worn out, that's another excuse for the bloke to cheat.

Mind u, cheating is not always the missus' fault.

Ah! Read well na. I'm not blaming the wife, I haven't accused anyone yet. I'm only wondering what his wife's reaction would be if she notices the relationship they are kind of breeding. Yes I already know, cheating is not always her fault.

Onegai:


If pampering your man was all it takes to keep a home happy, then certainly in the times where a woman was supposed to do nothing but care for her man, polygamy wouldn't exist. All the pampered husbands out there still cheating, what's their excuse?

It is dangerous for anyone to base their emotions in how you are treated in good times, because life won't always be like that and your emotions cannot always be in check. You will have ups and downs, you will have days when you simply cannot smile and say "all is well", when your kids come you will be exhausted to the point that taking a bath daily will become an achievement. You cannot be a perfect person. So what happens when a wife simply cannot be "all" for her man, does that mean he goes out looking for a replacment? Love and a good marriage is built on the tough times.

You're right, a good marriage is built on tough times. But I still believe you draw strength from the good times you've had to face whatever challenges fate and marriage throws at you. Perfection is difficult but striving to achieve it is paramount. Cheating men are everywhere but do we ignore pampering them because they have that tendency? I hate and despise adultary, it's the highest form of ungodliness and betrayal but what really can a good woman do other than do her best and hope for the best?
Blade21 please I'm judging no one. The piece you quoted was a reaction to another post. Different approach work for different people per time, I believe that too. I was thinking aloud, I'm judging no one for I'm very imperfect.

Onegai:
Biko how many battle fronts does a woman have to fight over a man? Don't have maid, always cook for your husband, don't let the maid ever iron his clothes or dish his food, don't let him eat outside because he may start cheating. Look good, check his phone, dont check his phone, gym and diet forever, waist trainer till you die, learn every bedroom style as much as possible, run upandan to every church, mosque and babalawo. All this in the hope of keeping a Nigerian man.

Na wa o. Is it not easier to marry a foreigner and sleep peacefully at night, at least get a break from the constant worrying over a Nigerian man?

Man wey go catch feelings go catch feelings, even if you pound yam and make fresh ogbono soup daily and pack it in a bento box specially carved by 100 year old Japanese masters

After all, Musa Danjuma is cheating on his wife, Femi Otedola must have played away match on his yacht. And they are married to "yellow periperi" stunners, one whom I can say is a good cook and certainly must sent her man to work with lunch a couple of times.

To me it's about doing the right thing. It's about showing love and care.
Keeping fit is the right thing to do, packing his lunch is the right thing to do, praying for your marriage is the right thing to do.
There's a way you pamper your man that he remembers you with fondness no matter what he does. Love begets love, care begets care.
I don't compare my home with anybody's. What happened in otedola and danjuma's homes shouldn't have anything to do with mine, after all I don't have all their details.
It's not a battle per se, it's taking care of your own.

[quote author=Richy4 post=43856052]OP your write ups reeks seriously as if you were green with envy over the food vendor.... Do u have a crush on that man or what?....It is ok...No judgment what so ever..... It clearly shows you got a healthy feeling [/quote
]

Envy kwa??
I love nairaland, different divergent views to one opinion but bros, will you eat consistently from one particular stranger or will you spread your tentacles?

Cutehector:
I cook my food. Sorry.

Ah! When you authouritatively said a lot of Ladies can't cook these days, I took it to mean you must have eaten from a lot of them. But since you prepare your meals; that's an assumption then, rght?

Cutehector:
Wen u hav a lot of ladies who can't cook nowadays, what do u expect?

How many ladies have you eaten from?a lot?

Amelian:
Sighs, op u had marriage and giving birth to kid easy and fast, thats why u r making all these trouble.. U r even happy to accept yur stubborn
I dont see any big deal in dropping off my son or daughter then picking them up from school.. Mehn, my kids are my blood and the reason i work so hard.. Why wont i cherish every moment spent with them.. Whats the big deal in taking your son to school and bringing him back..
Because starting up a family was quick and easy for u thats why u r like this..

If u like dont take yur son to school. Leave him at home uneducated.. And yea, pls dont have any more kids, cos u cant even care for one...smhhh.

My aunt has four kids, her husband travels worldwide due to his kind of biz.. She has a biz of her own.. Her husband comes home once a month.. Every morning, she wakes up early, makes sure her kids had their baths, feed them, and take them in her car , drive down to their school and drops them off before going to her shop... Closing hour, she drives down pick her kids from school, take them back to her shop, give them lunch, they play and wait until she closes for the day. Every body enter car go home... She does that everyday with joy and pride..
I love her style and i will emulate her ways..

If your waiting for yur husband to leave his job and start doing timetable on who takes son to school? Mehn i just shake my head for u...
Yur husband is patient and kind sef.

So well said. Though school runs can be tiring,I do mine with pride. The school runs thing shouldn't even be an issue if they love that child. Anybody that has the time can do it without grumbling. That family go get plenty duty roaster...

I've had to watch someone at work. A male. He normally eats from a she food vendor who comes around, asks for his choice of meal and serves whatever he demanded. It wasn't anything to write home about as some men for whatever reason love eating out.
Now, their relationship seemingly upgraded to smile flashes. She comes with this cute smile that spells fondness and care and of course there's always a little chat which again is not my business but I caught myself wondering what the chat could be all about. I wondered if his wife will okay her bright smiles at her husband. I still wondered why he always eats lunch from a particular stranger. I tried tried fixing his Majesty in the man's shoes, nah!!! I've got me a kitchen!
So ladies, would you mind your man receiving that bright smile from a particular food vendor or will you rather pack his lunch?
Guys, I know you don't mind but what do you think?

This is it! You are inspiration personified. I'm wowed!!! Your GNLD experience is something else. The way you told the story made me laugh to the point of shedding tears. Thank God I didn't choke. Kudos!!!

Mbakwa!
But wait o, isn't this staged?

After all said and done forgive.
Begrudging a person that had sought your forgiveness is an expensive venture. It'll rob you of your peace and happiness. Forgive him; not for him but for you. Mean it. He misbehaved greatly but the day that man lies inert is the day you would regret why you didn't forgive. Just forgive and move on. It's well
But men!!! Una no dey fear God at all!!!

It's just a month. Has she been buried? Myth has it that they leave after the burial. You're lucky to have seen her afterall she didn't hurt you. I badly wanted to see my dad but he was always distant each time I see him in my dream. It's getting to 2 yrs and I can't get over his death.

JonTal:
The educational system in Nigeria, which currently is in a bad state will be fixed with time, but the effect of social media on the education and well being of children will also increase, either for better or for the opposite.

The onus is on families to take individual responsiblility for the the proper up bringing of their wards, social media or no social media. After all, some young adults also grew up in this era of social media, and have turned out very well.

So individual familiy responsibility is key, here.

But you agree that social media contributes to academic decadance?

She wasn't alone. I'm sure there are midwives around in case of emergency. Besides her husband was there.
She tried sha.I'm sure she took drugs for pain. Oyibo sef!

What would you have broken? You haven't noticed the latest trend? Our children are all over the internet doing God knows what. You no dey see them? They all have white earpiece hanging round their neck always. The once that stick to Facebook are decent otherwise their favourite site are dating sites and pron sites.
Most adults cannot even curtail their urge to browse, that's why some are 24/7 on line how much more a teeneger who has a lot to imagine and fantasize about.
Remember how addicted we were about our mills and boons novels? But then we learnt to read and write simple English but the internet? Whosai!
These children spend most of their time on social networks, they hardly have time for intensive studies. I feel they crash-study during exams, just to pass not for knowledge.
So dear, everything they said is right!

17th February

She's cut, not the cutest

No be small thing o!
Next time choose a burner with stainless steel top. That ernamel abi na iron rusts like mad! You see you can only make concussions
The ministry remains ours!!!
Well done!