₦airaland Forum

Mujah1deen: what were they doing in your congregation?

BTW, polygamy is not bad .

I dont want polygamy, abeg. I am too jealous. NO, NO, NO. Talkless of poverty polygamy, living on handout and grace of Allah

Mujah1deen: That's very rude .I feel you, however you met the wrong side .they don't represent Islam, their behaviors don't represent Islam.

I'm kinda confused, you call all Muslim grown men Alhaji or they were real alhaji ? I ask because I have never met a poor alhaji, they are not all extremely rich but definitively not poor.

Sorry, they are both Sheik.

Mujah1deen: Humm. It is not easy to leave a religion that you have always known to embrace another one where you don't know anything, it takes a lot of time to assimilate everything and Change your "wrong" ways or bad behaviors .however those "Alhajis" shouldn't discourage you to learn about Islam, and why not embrace it fully later

My bad its not Alhajis its Sheik. One from Naija and one Senegal.

I forgot your church structure

specialguest: @ ChineloSA a nephrologist once told me that some of the drugs kidney failure patients take can actually affect fertility in women but I don't know about the effects of the drugs on. men. You can ask online @ mayo clinic am sure a nephrologist would be glad to respond to your query.

Now I see why she is skeptical. She has been very worried about fertility.

Thanks sha. I will do a little research for her, before advising her. But I think this is bigger than anyone. Very critical decision

Mujah1deen: Maybe you took their advices for orders.
As for the prayers, you should have let them know that you don't speak/read Arabic.
Did they propose you or what? What's wrong with being the 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife?
You know some people don't know how to express their feelings, they were probably in love with you.

They just came so strong for my liking. Why bath with a paper?? Really, I still don't understand.

Yes, they proposed. Old men na. Why would I want to be a 2nd or 3rd wife. I am very jealous oo.
But that was not the point, they wanted to steal me from my boyfriend then. when they knew him and he was part of the congregation they visited. How pathetic can an Ajhaji go. So that shaddy behaviour made me view them in a different way.

Besides I cant join their life of poverty, as an Alhaji, living on handouts!!! No ways.

Mujah1deen: Eeeya sorry ooo .
I don't get how they compelled you to do things you weren't comfortable with? Are you related or do they live around you ?
Anyway, count it as a bad experience, however he shouldn't discourage you from seeking the truth, and seeing the beauty and purity of Islam.

I knew people who knew them, so I was invited to come.
Alhajis were enough to make me run a mile Those two big old men with beards. smdh.

Mujah1deen: islamization is not always by force Islam is a peaceful religion

Those who were around me did not prove to be peaceful Forcing my dress code. etc.

Remember one time I asked for simple prayer, there I was given a paper with some Arabic writing and told to bath with it. I honestly didnt understand that.

Again, two big Alhajis ( one naija and one senegalese ) thought there were gonna add me on their list of their wives. Pathetic Form there I am uncomfortable

Mujah1deen: where did they fail?
Disrespectful? Let me apologize on their behalf .
What are u protestant? Catholic? JW?

I am Catholic. Though I was not planning to convert, but you learn and you eventually love something because of those who practice it have good behavior.

They always compelled me to do things I was not comfortable with. Always criticising my religion forgetting that some of the things practiced in Islam are taken from Catholicism e.g Rosary

I didn't feel comfortable at all.

Mujah1deen: so being Muslim makes me a Bokoharam?

The Arabic part is the shahada

No it doesn't make you Boko Haram. Your statement that Naija needs to be Islamised makes me uncomfortable. Its a democratic country abi, why force a certain religion to be politics of the country

Mujah1deen: Ash-hadu an laa ilaaha illallah “I bear witness that there is no god except Allah” Wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan rasulullah “And I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.”

You should join the "Muslimhood"

No thanks, my brother. Though I respect your religion

The Muslims I have met, never convienced me enough and they were so disrespectful to my religion that I didn't see the reason to join Islam.

Mujah1deen: read my signature with conviction, I'm eager to call you a sister. Same goes for you op, read my signature 3times

I understood the English part. Are you sure you are not Boko Haram Or you have a position there

I don't agree with you though

Mujah1deen: Mosque +Islam+Mohamed+holy Quran+Allah and you are good to go, churches are now a laughing stock, you should try something new, something meaningful. Besides our Umah(brotherhood) is the greatest in the world.

Allahu Akbar .

I can write the shahada for you

Shobayo Emma: Posting prayers online has now become an habit both from private individuals and men of GOD in nigeria of today. but i just noticed that many of these prayers just get as it be that is why i will like to know your perspective on this. thanks

Some ask you to pay. What kind of prayer be that

Booty butt chic: See aw her head looks like samosa,who's d amateur who tot her aw to pout!.....D make up makes her look white and old,very ugly ....she shld av gone natural btw...instead doin wrong paints!

Jealousy makes people nasty

specialguest: 1) the patient i am taking care of dialysis 3 times a week in a hospital and each session is four hours! I find time to drop and pick her up from the hospital in between my work schedule but luckily enough for your friend her patient has a dialysis machine at home so that makes it alot easier except off-course it coincides with the bedmatics time your friend so desires. So compromises have to be made on your friend's part.

2) depending on where the dialysis access has been created the patient might not be able to have a full bath due to the fear of infecting where the dialysis access is. What this means is that your friend might have to help him clean up every now and then

3) kidney failure patients suffer alot of complications among which is bone degeneration, therefore they constantly take expensive injections like iron and eropotein epo . Lets hope your friend's fiancee's bills are covered by a health insurance scheme else this might put a strain on their finances because i can recall some moments where i had to pay for those injections and i virtually empty my wallet yet the money wont be enough till use my atm card in their pos to complete the money. Remember it is not a one off thing!

4) when the toxic level in their blood is high i.e creatinine and urea, they mostly throw up any food eaten so this means your friend may be dealing with constant vomit except of course he dialysis constantly and the toxic clearance after his dialysis is good.

Apparently the guy does it on a daily basis, I am not sure why. It has to be six hours in a day and the only time that he does it is when he comes back from work, normally after 20:00. So I am not sure why he does it till the next day.It could be that, diabetes he has, which requires that he dialyse longer . I don't know

But since he got his machine, there has been immense improvement on his health. Apparently he goes to work daily and less sickly than before. Thanks to his supportive collleagues.

Thanks alot, too much information to take into consideration for my friend. Personally I cannot deal with this. Too scared of needles, hospital let alone labour ( which is compulsory somehow if you are a married woman )

specialguest: 5) kindly note that dialysis is very very very expensive. In private hospitals in Abuja it costs between 25000 to 30000 Naira per session and most patients require 3 sessions weekly till they can get a transplant done. This brings me back to number 3 finance! 25000* 3 times a week = 75000 plus iron and epo approx 100,000 weekly that amounts to almost half a million in a month! It takes the grace of God for a dialysis patient not to go broke except he is a millionaire.

With regards to costs, I do not foresee any problem. He is out of Naija and he gets paid very well as a specialist ( gynaecologist ) and his collegues ( other doctors ) are so supportive, so I think he sometimes gets treated at no costs.

specialguest: 6) mood swings, depression, attitudinal changes etc are some common behaviors found in kidney failure patients and i am sure we all know why they behave that way sometimes! Bottom line is it is not eazy but if after reading all these she feels she can cope, fine she should go ahead by all means please .

That is one of my friends fears. She fears she may not be able to cope. I have reassured her that I will always be there for her as her support system when the going gets tough

She also fears if they will be able to have babies. If it affects his fertility will she cope with being childless. I think she is very informed about the disease, but the problem is taking a decisions with all the information at her disposal.

But as you explained, I can only now realise its really hard work especially with his diabetes as well. She really have a tough decision ahead of her

Thanks a lot , hope your mama gets well or gets a donor.

See this woman and you, that you put on you profile pic. I don't like her ooo

Answer the mail na.

Secularist: I am not soft O. But i am not the traditional definition of an african man either. I believe in balance and i have subtle ways of enforcing it.

Okay ooo. If you say so.

Secularist: Lol.

Thank u, Thank U, THANK U, for the many encouragement and advice, i appreciate it very much.
I dey fear to put pics up O, privacy cest tres tres important avec moi.
The religion thing get as e be O. I am open minded when it comes to religion O, no hard and fast rules there for me as long as nothing is being crammed down my throat.

Thanks again, mo appreciate e gan.

haaaaaaa, OP on highlighted. U see me, I am very strong headed feminist, so the highlighted for me is a big problem. I want a man who knows his story o and who gives me my place I give him his place too but at the sametime puts his foot down. Because I can take chances well well.

If a man is soft, he no good for me, I am stubborn, too much stubborn and take chances in a man I am not lying.

If a man is soft, I end up being the man You don't want that? Eeeeehn

BarryX: I've been here and there ...
You were so missed too dear

So how's the "feminists" ministry going??

Oooh The congregation is growing I thank the Lord. Amen.

Hope your sunday is good o.

BarryX: Feminist

What na?

Where have you been? A very good morning. You were missed.

chidinwachukwu: Because he dosent want the boy Becoming an International Terrorist.

Nna, So Yorubas are terrorists? Please,na, dont bring that tribal thing here, abeg

Chatters: Tired of who? You? Damn yes I am! You are simply not worth my time. I gat precious things to do than waste time on a lowlife like you and your useless opinions. If all men are like you then the world is really coming to an end.
Btw, you profess to be religious, why not do Islam a favor and pleassssseeee shut up already.

I'm so un- following this thread... I believe I ve made my point.

Dont take anything personal on Nairaland. Ignore him if he annoys you. Sometimes embrace the fact that he is different. You will be suprised he will fight for you on the next thread you meet again

Don't mind him.

Chatters: Sorry about that i get pissed when women are being treated like possessions and piece of rag all in the name of marriage. They are equal partners in the union and issues like this should be discussed and settled amicably. Btw, tell your friend to back off and stop protecting you. Unless you re one his purpoted wives That I can understand.

Apology accepted. Differing in opinions does not mean we should be enemies. Put your point across and support it, thats it. Everyone will understand you. I am a self proclaimed feminists though there are things some woman do to men I do not agree with.

@ my friend, if you knew, how many times we have disagreed today on another thread, you wouldn't be calling us friends But being a man, life goes on. That's an advantage of being a men, little emotions.

Chatters: Nope. I disagree. I wasn't even talking to him but was rather referring to you. Funny enough you did rise to the bait but he did which speaks alot about the kind of man he is. I seriously doubt he is a man ... The way he talks befits a street urchin ...am sure they would be so proud of him right now

Whether you were rude to me or him is irrelevant. You started first and he chipped in on my behalve.

When you are rude to me doesnt mean that I like it or the next person likes it. They may be thinking " let me deal with her before I become her next victim"

So please calm down, let debate like ladies not ZOo animal you refered me too. By the way I didnt like it.

Chatters: Idiot! Always picking quarrels in threads. No woman in her right mind will marry you. You pathetic bigot.

I think you started being rude before he did.

Mujah1deen: I'm actually married with two beautiful wives. What about you? Is the chief of your village still riding you or it is the turn of your governor?

Village bicycle ooo who wants to take a free ride?

Afam4eva: Women are/can(be) intelligent in their own things. They mustn't try to do exactly what their husbands are dfoing to show that they're equally intelligent. God created everyone with a role in mind. Everyone has a mission in this world. A banker does not go about doing the job of a lawyer. A husband cannot go about telling his wife the amount of maggi to put in a soup, so why should she tell him what to do in his own line of work? Isn't that what causes conflict in marriage?

On point. Very true

Mujah1deen: women like you end up in coffins

Chatters: Where are you from? The zoo?

You know because we always greet each other in the same Zoo

You just failing to debate and you resort to insults. I wont stoop to your imbe cillic level.

Chatters: Chinelo, which culture? Pls speak for yourself. I assume you are igbo. No igbo culture dictates that. Wake up from your slumber and stop being myopic. So you are telling me you are a slave to your hubby just because he married you? I pity such mentality. Its women like you that makes men treat them like trash!!

I never said woman should be slave to their husbands. All I was trying to say is some issues should be left for the man to decide. This is not a Yoruba child but a Eson child.

I also think your kind are the ones who control man even when its unnecessary. Your kind also is selfish and does not allow kids to learn their fathers culture and language, over their own culture.
If you change to Mrs ...... then do what/how Mr...... does. Unless you are married to your father then do what your father does. Why let kids live the way you lived in your fathers house? Are they your fathers kids??

When you are married its another mans house and it should be respected by doing what you both agree upon or what his culture dictates.

Are you inter-tribally married, perhaps