Afam4eva:
The reason why people are having problems in marriage in Nigeria is due to the same reason. We're trying to copy the westerners in their warped definition of equality in marriage, that's why the divorce rate is increasing in Nigeria. Tell me why our parents were not divorcing like no man's business. It's because they understood that there's no such thing as equality in Marriage, the way it's defined.

Chatters:

Chinelo, which culture? Pls speak for yourself. I assume you are igbo. No igbo culture dictates that. Wake up from your slumber and stop being myopic. So you are telling me you are a slave to your hubby just because he married you? I pity such mentality. Its women like you that makes men treat them like trash!!

Afam4eva:
Women are/can(be) intelligent in their own things. They mustn't try to do exactly what their husbands are dfoing to show that they're equally intelligent. God created everyone with a role in mind. Everyone has a mission in this world. A banker does not go about doing the job of a lawyer. A husband cannot go about telling his wife the amount of maggi to put in a soup, so why should she tell him what to do in his own line of work? Isn't that what causes conflict in marriage?

chineloSA:
I am a self proclaimed feminists, but I am against woman turning man into their wives

A woman is married to a man and therefore takes after his surname, so man should not be deprived of that last right that is left for them please.

Yes we are equals, but he paid the bride price, provided shelter and name to be used for that house. So please, this is Africa.

De Beauvoir:

Of course you won't see anything wrong with the idea that women are supposed to be subservient to men because you are male and the misogynistic laws of your bible favour you. Why is it always incumbent on women to submit to men?
What if she's married to a poor decision maker? Or a sadist? Or sociopath?
She should always submit to him because the ancient jews that invented your religion said so abi?

Triciana gal:

Actually the fact that they didn't divorce is not necessarily because they were happy but rather because most women were fanacially dependent in their husband so they basically had no where to go to. The higher rate of divorce is not so much because people are coping westerners but now women who are miserable in their marriages are no longer trapped since they can survive alone. Let us not blame everything on western world but rather the society has changed since the roles if women has changed a lot.

chineloSA:

Woman breadwinners in Nigeria?

No, once I financially take over the responsibilities of a man, then to me he is my wife. Even if I earn less, he still needs to honour his responsibilities.
I wouldn't take over a mans responsibility, as I would be denting his ego. He will eventually go and look somewhere where he is useful.

Chatters:

Chinelo, which culture? Pls speak for yourself. I assume you are igbo. No igbo culture dictates that. Wake up from your slumber and stop being myopic. So you are telling me you are a slave to your hubby just because he married you? I pity such mentality. Its women like you that makes men treat them like trash!!

Afam4eva:
I won't blame you if you call it entrapment. That's the word the proponents of the warped equality in marriage have been using. Our mothers never complained about their roles and were doing it willingly, so who are you to tell them that they were entrapped? Did they tell you they want to be financially independent. Are you aware that when you marry a man, both of you become ONE and everything he owns becomes yours and vice-versa. So, why would anyone say a woman is entrapped in marriage because she does not make her own money. You people should fear God oo.

chineloSA:

Woman breadwinners in Nigeria?

No, once I financially take over the responsibilities of a man, then to me he is my wife. Even if I earn less, he still needs to honour his responsibilities.
I wouldn't take over a mans responsibility, as I would be denting his ego. He will eventually go and look somewhere where he is useful.

Chatters:

Where are you from? The zoo?

Triciana gal:

I don't know where you have been but in most marriages these days the women contribute at least 50 percent financially and in lot of cases even more. So if the husband only earns enough to rent a face me I face you but the wife's salary can get a nice apartment in a good area, they should stay in the face me in face in because she doesn't want him to become a wife . A man's responsibility is not only financial, as long as he gives his all no matter how little he is fulfilling his responsibility. It us only lazy ones that will relax and leave the wife alone to do it that women have a problem with.

Mujah1deen: women like you end up in coffins

Mujah1deen: Please don't stop there, kindly give us the link where you took your bogus statistics

Mujah1deen: women like you end up in coffins

Chatters:

Men like you end up with bullets in their heads. slowpoke!!!

Afam4eva:
I won't blame you if you call it entrapment. That's the word the proponents of the warped equality in marriage have been using. Our mothers never complained about their roles and were doing it willingly, so who are you to tell them that they were entrapped? Did they tell you they want to be financially independent. Are you aware that when you marry a man, both of you become ONE and everything he owns becomes yours and vice-versa. So, why would anyone say a woman is entrapped in marriage because she does not make her own money. You people should fear God oo.

kendraloops: I'm so so so very angry this evening. I've been having this issue with hubby for a while now, used to think he was kidding but this evening just confirmed it for me.

I'm Yoruba n he's Esan from Edo state. He speaks yoruba very very fluently even better than me, he teaches me proverbs n all sometimes sef. But anytime I speak yoruba to our baby, he gets irritated kind of n says' my son is an Esan man, stop speaking yoruba to him'.

We had a major row over it this evening again. Don't I count in the boy's life? What's the biggie in him learning how to speak yoruba?

Mujah1deen: ashawo, who is going to marry you ? Village bicycle

Mujah1deen: ashawo, who is going to marry you ? Village bicycle

Afam4eva:
Women are/can(be) intelligent in their own things. They mustn't try to do exactly what their husbands are dfoing to show that they're equally intelligent. God created everyone with a role in mind. Everyone has a mission in this world. A banker does not go about doing the job of a lawyer. A husband cannot go about telling his wife the amount of maggi to put in a soup, so why should she tell him what to do in his own line of work? Isn't that what causes conflict in marriage?

Triciana gal:

What are you on about? Of course the women who had loving husbands were not entrapped. My point is even women who were abused could not divorce their husbands in those days and it was mostly because of financial reasons. I am not saying a woman who doesn't have money is entrapped but rather the ones who are in a bad marriage but have no money cannot leave. In an ideal situation it wouldn't matter who makes the money unfortunately in bad situations lack of more can make one very vulnerable. You should try not to be so emotional and jump to conclusions.

Mr Mandilas: Pls call a spade a spade not a farm tool. Hence the lady is married to an Esan automatically, she becomes one of them. She should stop being stupid and pushy or she will break her home. She should have married Yoruba then. One thing about nairaland is that people speak not the truth because everyone wants to protect their tribes..@ OP, i want u to start thinkin like an Esan because U are now one of them. Learn how to speak the language and solidify ur new family. Remember, a good woman maketh her home. Shekinah!

Triciana gal:

You should learn how to disagree with people without throwing insults around. I believe we are all educated adults here and we should be able to have arguments without getting offensive.

Afam4eva:
Now you're shifting the goal post. You made a bold statement and i quote:

"Actually the fact that they didn't divorce is not necessarily because they were happy but rather because most women were fanacially dependent in their husband so they basically had no where to go to"



Exactly saying the some were indeed unhappy but couldn't leave because of money. Same thing

ndu_chucks:

No time to read all the comments. My suggestion to you is to note that it is most unhealtly for a baby to be raised in an environment where you and your hubby constantly bicker and fight over, of all things, speaking your language to your child. For your child's welfare and that of your marriage, I'd suggest that for now, you stop speaking the language to your baby while your hubby is arround. But make it a point to continue to speak the language to your child on a daily basis.

This way, you kill 2 birds with a stone

One day the child will say to his dad "baba mo love yin gan" (baba I love you very much), let's see whether the insecure man will disown the child afterward.

Chatters:

Idiot! Always picking quarrels in threads. No woman in her right mind will marry you. You pathetic bigot.

tintingz: She's not a yoruba woman anymore because she's married to an Esan man and she should start thinking like an esan person? When are we going to stop seeing women as properties. She's still a yoruba woman no matter who she is married to. Yes she might be one of them but not an esan person.

Mujah1deen: I'm actually married with two beautiful wives. What about you? Is the chief of your village still riding you or it is the turn of your governor?

Village bicycle ooo who wants to take a free ride?

Chatters:

Idiot! Always picking quarrels in threads. No woman in her right mind will marry you. You pathetic bigot.