₦airaland Forum

rokiatu: I do support such concept, but then again, I would luv some privacy for myself.

As I said, when you give someone openness they eventually get bored and give you privacy. But if you hide, he wants to dig more.

But its your marriage, do what works for you. But know it will eventually lead to problems, because surely there is a reason for you being uncomfortable and that is "secrets"!!!!!!

. Woman are somehow selfish, because if he can start being secretive to you, you will be the first one running to Nairaland asking, what you should do. Hope when he reciprocates, you won't mind. when he receives dodgy calls,sms's the rules of privacy wont be abandoned by you first.

ogbonoeba: Have you taken your school cert yet?

I was waiting that we go together na.

kendraloops: Are u kidding me? He has a right to deny me giving MY child a yoruba name All the labour pains n agony nko? Abeg foget oo. I know he's more of Esan than yoruba but it hurts. In public when people ask for his baby's yoruba name, he quickly responds that he's gat none.


As for me being pregnant again, I'm not oooo. Lol. Y u dey ask sef?

I understand the guys point of view. Is he married to you or you married to him You giving your son a Yoruba name should just be plain negotiations and him being a nice guy.

I ask if you are pregnant because, from my perspective I think you overreacted. In my culture, that is not negotiated, especially if you are married. So, i expect you to understand such.

rokiatu: [/b]

Yes. Just becuase we are married don't mean we should share everything.

One thing that is addressed in marriage counselling is openness and honesty. If you have secrets ( current secrets ) not even past secrets, then there is a problem

I cant sleep with a wolf in one bed, while thinking its a sheep.

PasD: my uncle maintains that its not because of secret love affair that made him say that. There are many things that enter the fone na. Account details (debit and credit) to avoid unneccessary questions, schedules he may like to keep private at least for the moment. The man is really making sense here and you are making sense too......dnt knw who to choose o

I thought so, money.

What I have observed is, if you become open, your partner later does not even bother to check your phone. They relax and they get bored. If you protect it, they they want to dig more

So the more he says NO, they more she will want to know

Personally, how I would treat this is, my child has to know all his father culture, language etc before mine.

Though I do not think the guy may have meant bad, but he meant it. The son is his son hence he bears his surname.

I think you overreacted, since you said the child can still learn Yoruba either way. Teach your son all his fathers culture before yours. Your son may blame you when he does not fit in, in future. Your son is not Yoruba, he is Esan.
Even with names, he has a right to deny you to give your son a Yoruba name, its his Esan son, not Yoruba son, so you were just pushing your luck.

Are you sure you are not pregnant again

alutacontinua: Transplant shld be the last resort because once she gets a transplant, she'll be put on some drugs which would weaken her immune system. Her chances of fighting infections become very slim which means she even has a higher chance of dieing from infections than kidney failure.

This is serious

ogbonoeba: Bros, na diabetic coma you dey describe...Diabetic coma...

Do u stammer even when you write?

PasD: this thing you said is causing comotion here o. My uncle maintains that privacy is privacy whether married or single

Then your uncle is hiding alot. Maybe not even a sideline, just Por..n material. money etc.

But in marriage, people should be open. If they cant be open, then they got married to wrong people. If I am married, my friends should know that if they sms a secret, my hubby may know the secret. So if they want to keep our secret no sms, face to face talk

Your Uncle is a shaddy buddy

masonkz: I'm actually interested in this topic, cos a friend of mine just got diagnosed recently with kidney failure. He has been on dialysis for some weeks now. The thing is he also has a girl he has been planning on marrying.


Anyway, @OP, would this dialysis go on forever? Or would there be a time where he'd at least have to go through kidney transplant to replace the failed kidney, that's if and when he gets a donor though.

Still even scared of talking to my friend about his kidney issue.

Luv, I will see how much response I get. If little response, I may move the topic to another section as suggested.

Your friend need serious support, don't run away from him when he needs you the most. His girlfriend is in for a challenge, I tell you.Some days are good and some are bad. Some days they wake some they cant. Kidney failure affects alot of things. In fact she must accept she has a first born ( his boyfriend), not a boyfriend, little expectations. Support him with his Diet, mental health, dialysis etc. Dialysis on its own is too much work, lucky the guy is a doctor himself.
Your friends own is better, he only has kidney failure and he may get a donor and live a full life.

According to the guy, he has a donor who matches. His childhood friend, but his Nephrologist is against a transplant for now. He wants him to be on dialysis and then see. I am not sure,see what because kidney damage is not reversible.

Talk to your friend though. He needs you.

Mujah1deen: Allah knows best.

Abeg, leave God out of this. He doesnt like abuse sef. See your religion

Abbey2sam: That amount is too small for this kind of horror film.....make it $50m then show me where to sign

I bet you would need to be drunk on a daily basis. You cannot make it if you are always sober.

Novice1: The only area we surpass South Africa is in corruption

Don't you know? SA has surpassed Naija in that area.
Where have you been?? Under Zuma rock

Mujah1deen: Allah didn't send him to beat you lol, he sent with his good and bad sides. No one is perfect.
You should Learn to appreciate your husband the way he is.

I don't want a perfect man neither. If your religion say that woman should be beaten and endure, I choose Satan. Aaaaaaah aaaah. Maybe Satan is better.

So a woman should appreciate that she is being abused, demeaned for the community to see??
I asked you should a man stay if he is being abused

Mujah1deen: Allah knows best, stay in your marriage and fix it. Check yourself ,change your behaviors etc .

Allahu akbar

Why do you want to beat me ?

I want to beat you because you deserve that. How can you say that, Did God send anyone to beat the wife and hence, the wife should stay. Leave God out of this, abeg.

What if its a man who is being physicallly abused. Should he stay??

Mujah1deen: Divorce is not an option ,no matter what your husband does to you .

Aaaaaah, when a man physical abuses me, I should stay.

If I could, I was gonna beat you with a whole tray off eggs.

If you are still in a relationship it should not be by force. It should just mutually happen.

If its marriage, yes, you should, no negotiations na. Whats mine is his and likewise

[quote author=chika.chike86]Most woman would rather bath you with an acid than accept losing a guy they ve courted for yrs. So must guys end up with a lady they are not compatible with out of fear that they might encounter misfortune as a result of threat from such lady. Moreover if most ladies would accept the fact that some guys are not their so called PARTNERS, then the better for everyone. Most ladies feel they are being used and dumped , not understanding that allowing such guy to leave would invariably save them a long marital torment. So ladies, if he wants to live, pls allow him to go its not a do or die affairs, neither is it a case of "being used" and dumped. Its for the best.[/quote]Nnaa, its not a problem to let go. But its a big problem if you waist my time oo. Why wait yrs before you see that I no fit your wife specification Eeeeehn?

InvertedHammer:
Tell your doctor to change the medications for you.

The one you are on now is not working.

If not that I am in a good mood today, I would have said that what Nigeria has is a voodoo economy.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it. Being rude does not make your point to be louder and more intelligent. Its still wack.

Debate with points and prove me wrong and stop behaving like a bush pig. smdh

China is ahead of Australia and Canada in terms of GDP.
But Australia and Canada are ahead of China in terms of HDI ( Human development Index ).

People in Australia and Canada live a better life, and different standard of living as compared to people in China regardless of the size of the economy oo .

The Economy may have increased in size, but there may have been slight change or no change in HDI

SO ITS POSSIBLE PEOPLE. Be optimistic for once.

Fxwarrior: To get more matured what? Why did you comment if you ain't matured girl!
Op wetin come concern you for this mata? Better allow her make decision herself and live with it.
Heart and Head are separated. Do you know why?

See this Salah ram making noise. Wetin come concern me for dis mata?? She asked me for advice.

Go eat grass like other rams, abeg.

See All4naija did his best on the other thread. You will see Naija's sef dissing ourselves.

Biggest Economy in terms of GDP figures ( + exports, -imports ) can be possible. Though it does not mean HDI ( access to health care, education, financial system, water, electricity, poverty line etc.), don't confuse these two. Though growing GDP is suppose to lead to +HDI.

So people focus on the topic in terms of GDP, unemployment rate, foreign reserves, Consumer Confidence Index etc. not on3 HDI

Where is my garri.

lynpetra: Gbamest!!!

Gbamest gbamest.

lol @ backup girlfriends

I have this friend who has been friends with a guy from childhood. Their parents were always trying to hook them up and they even sent them to the same Univ.

They went to the same Uni. though the guy was doing Medicine and the girl another course.
The girl graduated before the guy and started working. The guy later graduated and started working as a doctor.
Still they would not date because the girl was skeptical to date the guy because of she said she was scared of needles and she could not handle seeing him injecting himself on a daily basis and also she said she read somewhere that Diabetics suffer bedroom problems because of the condition. But she always loved the guy with no doubt. They did everything together at Univ.; people thought they were dating.

They later on dated different people, but their friendship always created a problem for both of them in their relationships. Still they kept contact ( which may have been unfair to their partners then )

They both went their different ways but kept contact. The guy later on became successful Gynaecologist (in a foreign land) and the woman in her Science field, and still the guy wont let go of the girl.

Fast forward>>>>>>>>The guy later on had kidney failure which is another complication for Diabetes. The guy has to do dialysis on a daily basis. Meaning ( in my lay mans terms ) he has this machine @ home that he administers himself which sucks his blood out, cleans it and takes the blood back into his body. DAILY!!!!! So the guy does this everyday at night around 22:00 until the next day 6:00.

The possible problems I foresee is
1) with his diabetes, it means they are likely to struggle in bedmatics
2) with his kidney failure every night when they have to focus on bedmatics the guy has to plug on the dialysis machine and the cleaning starts.

The guy is a very good man. Comes from a good family. He believes in marriage with his whole heart. And besides they have been friends for very long and are compatible in alot of ways. My God

Though the machine really helps him alot, while waiting for a decision from his Nephrologist whether to proceed with receiving a donation or not. Personally the thought of a dialysis machine and needles, gives me creeps.

Though my friend is not confused about her feelings, but she is confused about her possible consequences if she decides to marry the guy.
What would you advice her to do if it were your friend. Would you advice her to:
1) Ignore all of this and follow her heart and ignore her heard and marry the guy. Marry the guy regardless of his medical condition which may create serious problems in the future including the possibility of cheating ( because of lack of s..X ) and possibility of being widowed while young.
2) take into consider of all his medical condition and look for someone else

Advice please.Only intelligent reasoning allowed

What if he is borrowing money to finish off the bride price for another woman?

May she Rest in Peace indeed.

She was abusing fashion, though