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Education / Sarcasm by Chongaiman: 1:52pm On Dec 15, 2016 |
https://www.nairaland.com/3519352/ali-baba-reacts-super-falcons/ refers. I viewed with dismay, the level of [in]comprehension of many posters on the mentioned thread who were obviously operating on a different frequency from the comedian. So much for our educational system. I therefore surfed the net for any article that could broaden our knowledge... Sarcasm is derived from French word sarcasmor and also from a Greek word sarkazein that means “tear flesh” or “grind the teeth”. Somehow, in simple words it means to speak bitterly. http://literarydevices.net/sarcasm/ |
Politics / Re: Muhammadu Buhari Is The Cause Of Preseident Yahya Jammeh Last Minute U-turn by Chongaiman: 5:08pm On Dec 13, 2016 |
If nothing is done, the dogs and baboons of Gambia would soon be soaked in blood! 1 Like |
Romance / Re: 5 Relationship Zones Worse Than 'the Friend Zone' by Chongaiman: 12:14am On Nov 30, 2016 |
1 . The "I Don't Want to Ruin the Friendship" Zone. Surprise, bitches! This is what the actual friend zone is! Also sorry for saying "bitches," I know using that term like that is sexist. I just really like the comedic shock value of the phrase "Surprise, bitches!" Do you think it would work as a T-shirt? I'm getting off topic. If you've ever been in "the friend zone," remember that you weren't put there by anyone but yourself, and for evidence you need look no further than the episode of Friends that popularized the term (according to Wikipedia). Ross wants to sleep with Rachel, and Rachel doesn't know, and Ross is trying to work up the courage to tell her, and Friends lasted 10 seasons on that joke. You might be thinking that Rachel is a bitch for forcing Ross into that situation by not just sleeping with him, if you're the kind of sociopath who thinks that women are responsible for every problem that befalls a man. The real problem there is that Ross doesn't respect himself enough to act on his feelings and doesn't respect Rachel enough to be honest. He's kind of a dick, because secretly wanting to Bleep someone but not telling anyone because you want to manipulate them into fucking you without being honest about your intentions means that you're kind of a dick. Friendship and romance are different. You can't trade one for the other. If you're in love with one of your friends, then you've already ruined the friendship through the simple involuntary act of wanting to Bleep them. If you wanna wait it out and try to be friends again, do that. If you wanna act on it, do that. If you wanna sit on the sidelines and try to puppeteer a person into sleeping with you without letting them know that's what you're trying to do, then you're only technically not a rapist. And I wouldn't put that on a T-shirt, either. |
Romance / Re: 5 Relationship Zones Worse Than 'the Friend Zone' by Chongaiman: 12:12am On Nov 30, 2016 |
2. The "Staying in Contact Forever" Zone. This might be a new zone, invented in the past decade or so, which makes it all the more terrifying: the "staying in contact" zone, which has been made all the worse by Facebook, Twitter, cellphones, and the rest of the secretly evil marvels of technology. But to understand this zone of the future, we, paradoxically, must first look backward, into the zones of the past. So come with me, Internet friends, on a journey to the time of Dracula. When Jonathan Harker (Keanu Reeves) went to Dracula's castle, he left behind the beautiful Mina Murray (Winona Ryder), but they stayed in contact with letters. But letters take time to travel, so this relationship was tempered with patience and love, and then Harker boned a bunch of vampire babes in Dracula (Gary Oldman)'s basement (careful with that link, there are boobs). These days, that relationship could never have happened that way because Mina would've texted Jonathan "goodnight, sweetheart!" right before that girl ... bit his dick off, or whatever the hell it is she's doing. And then he would've felt embarrassed and called the whole thing off. When you're in a bleeped up relationship, the hardest part is pulling yourself out, or never texting that person again when you're drunk or just lonely. But with modern social media, that's gotten even harder. It's not enough to simply stop calling them; you have to unfriend them on Facebook (a proactive step), and even then you're going to see them in your feed if you have any mutual friends, and your cellphone might autocorrect weird words to their name, or you may have interactions on something called Snapchat, because what the hell is that. Oh, it's a social media app with a constantly changing TOS and interface, just like every other social media app. Keeping up with the latest trends on the Internet isn't just about keeping in touch with your friends -- it's about not keeping in touch with them, too. And sometimes that's a whole lot harder. |
Romance / Re: 5 Relationship Zones Worse Than 'the Friend Zone' by Chongaiman: 12:10am On Nov 30, 2016 |
3 . The "We've Been Doing This Forever, We May as Well Stick With It" Zone. The original draft of The Last House on the Left featured the father of the hero, Dr. John Collingwood, murdering a serial killer with a scalpel. His strategy was to hit him in a thousand small places, until the killer would finally die from a thousand tiny cuts. Wes Craven eventually replaced it with a chainsaw because a) chainsaws are awesome, and b) he didn't want his movie to be a metaphor for a common relationship problem. Breakups aren't always big, covered in serrated metal teeth, and explosively violent -- some are long and slow and end with both parties collapsing exhausted by both lack of restful sleep and blood loss. When you aren't naturally confrontational and you get into a relationship with someone who is just as used to making small concessions as you, it's easy to just get along without actually being happy. For years. You find yourself thinking, "Sure, we don't like much of the same stuff, and we like to spend our free time differently, and we don't agree on anything, but we're rarely actually fighting (if you're not swearing or throwing stuff, it isn't fighting), so maybe this is as good as it gets." The dirty trick at the core of this issue is that you'll be forced to break up for what feel like selfish reasons ("I need to see what else is out there"; "There has to be more to relationships than this"; "I really wanna get stoned and watch Dredd at 2 p.m. on a Sunday in my underwear" even though it's really what's best for everyone. |
Romance / Re: 5 Relationship Zones Worse Than 'the Friend Zone' by Chongaiman: 12:08am On Nov 30, 2016 |
4 . The "I Always Need to Be in a Relationship" Zone. If the description in that last entry sounds like it could've been written by a space alien, that may be because for you, getting into a relationship has never been that hard. You know all the tricks: If you're shy, there's beer. If you don't like beer, there's OKCupid, where you can organize your life's stats like a D& character. And if you're a fundamentally uninteresting person, you can take people to karaoke bars. For you, the hard part of a relationship isn't getting someone to like you or want to spend the night naked -- for you, the hard part is being OK when that's not happening. o one likes loneliness, because if they do they don't call it loneliness, they call it "me time." But for some people it's not just a bummer, it's a paralyzing fear. Not having someone to call who has to answer means that you might have to spend a few nights alone, getting to know yourself and your own thoughts and, holy shit, what if you suck? For every girl out there who's too afraid to smile back at the cute guy at the opposite end of the bar, there's a girl who'd rather spend her night humping a total stranger than wake up by herself. The one that sounds like less of a problem to you can probably give you a pretty big hint as to which category you need to work on. |
Romance / 5 Relationship Zones Worse Than 'the Friend Zone' by Chongaiman: 12:06am On Nov 30, 2016 |
Source: www.cracked.com By Winston Rowntree & J.F. Sargent 5. The "No One I'm Interested in Is Attracted to Me" Zone. Everyone finishes the occasional date feeling like there wasn't any connection, but when you're in this zone, you finish every interaction like this. You have such high demands for similarity that anything short of a carbon copy of you is going to be deemed alien and distant by your crazy-ass brain, and you'll force them away from you with a defensive pre-emptive rejection. Because the truth is, your brain has tricked you into thinking that people who are attracted to you aren't worth your time. It's counterintuitive, because "high standards" is a good thing in most contexts, like choosing what wood to build your house out of or what gas to put in your car, but human beings aren't made of wood or gasoline or anything else you can buy, so if your "standards" are anything other than "Does this person make me really happy and Hot a lot?" then you're unnecessarily narrowing your options and missing out on some killer sex. It's not that no one is happy being alone, and it's not that you should just "take whatever you can get." But if you find yourself scanning prospective mating partners for flaws rather than just enjoying their company, your whole approach to other humans could probably do with some revisions. Pop culture has given us an insane and unrealistic perception of what human relationships are, and the most insane recent example has got to be from How I Met Your Mother, when the German character Klaus tells Ted that Lebenslanger Schicksalschatz (or "love," because the joke is that German words are long) "isn't something that develops over time. It is something that happens instantaneously," which is the most psychotic relationship advice that hasn't been banned from Kickstarter. Love doesn't work like facial recognition software or Ikea furniture, because it's a feeling, and when you're used to being lonely, even the best kind of companionship in the world can be scary. |
Politics / Re: BREAKING: How Bill Gates Is Sponsoring Boko Haram Insurgency In Nigeria Revealed by Chongaiman: 7:08pm On Nov 13, 2016 |
Story for the gods otherwise the adherents of one peaceful religion must be the most gullible subset of mankind. |
Music/Radio / Re: I Feel Like Killing Many People At The Next Compound Right NOW by Chongaiman: 5:42pm On Nov 13, 2016 |
OP dey vex! I blame the economic recession for this because, "a hungry man is an angry man." |
Politics / Re: What Is The Solution To This Nigeria Economic Crisis by Chongaiman: 5:37pm On Nov 13, 2016 |
The replacement of that English teacher masquerading as minister of finance with the real deal. |
Celebrities / Re: Nov. 11 Is My Day. Check out me and my boy by Chongaiman: 6:04am On Nov 11, 2016 |
Grow up! |
Education / Re: 11 Words With Meanings That Have Changed Drastically Over Time by Chongaiman: 5:00am On Nov 01, 2016 |
Psalm 47:2 King James Bible For the LORD most high is terrible; he is a great King over all the earth. New International Version For the LORD Most High is awesome, the great King over all the earth. IMO, I believe "gay" is the word whose meaning has most drastically changed in plain view. 2 Likes |
Religion / Re: People That Works On Saturdays Should Be Killed According To The Bible by Chongaiman: 4:15am On Oct 31, 2016 |
Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Mark 2:27 (NIV) 2 Likes 1 Share |
Politics / Re: Video Counters Nigeria’s Finance Minister, Adeosun, Confirms She Dismissed Reces by Chongaiman: 11:46am On Sep 05, 2016 |
APC and doublespeak!! Issorite....
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Politics / Re: Umaru Musa Yar'adua 65th Birthday (posthumous) Is Today by Chongaiman: 2:27pm On Aug 16, 2016 |
Under him our forex reserves reached a peak of more than 60 billion USD. They have steadily headed south since then. The antics of his successors have greatly altered my opinion about him. 1 Like |
Romance / Re: Which Among These 3 Women Should He Marry? by Chongaiman: 3:00pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
The one with the biggest bust and butt as well as sweetest honey pot. |
Phones / Re: Airtel Dishes Out New Data Bundle- 6GB For N1500 (Pic) by Chongaiman: 1:48pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
From the way they spelt 'privilege', one will begin to think of one chance. 1 Like |
Crime / Re: Man Abandons Son For Bag Of Rice In Kano by Chongaiman: 10:31am On Jun 27, 2016 |
Not surprising! A particular northern tribe is notorious for breeding children like mice and generally leaving the males to fend for themselves from an early age. That is why 9ja's population is growing exponentially. That is also why the Boko Haram terrorists no dey finish. |
Politics / Re: NAF Deploys Six Fighter Jets To End Boko Haram Insurgency by Chongaiman: 11:57am On Jun 19, 2016 |
An Attack On Bokoharam Is An Attack On The North! Caveat:la quote, la baje! |
Crime / Re: Robbers Attack Chisco Bus At Shagamu, Strip Passengers Of Valuables by Chongaiman: 11:37am On Jun 19, 2016 |
sixtuschimere: God and the soldier, all adore ....Meanwhile, gbagaun alert @ bolded. |
Romance / Re: I Need Help: She Relocated Me From Friendzone Avenue To God Knows Where! by Chongaiman: 6:34pm On May 21, 2016 |
O boy! Five years on, your village people are not relenting... ...her conditions that we shall not be romantically involved, no sex not even kissing... 9 Likes 1 Share |
Education / Re: 25 Pictures NDA Aspirants Can Relate With by Chongaiman: 6:18pm On May 21, 2016 |
OP's discovery about cadet life after admission 4 Likes
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Education / Re: 25 Pictures NDA Aspirants Can Relate With by Chongaiman: 6:15pm On May 21, 2016 |
OP's imagination about cadet life before admission 4 Likes
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Politics / Re: EFCC Arrests Abuja Council Boss For N17.5m Fraud(pictured) by Chongaiman: 11:08am On May 11, 2016 |
Na today? E don tay like Shaban Tete. |
Foreign Affairs / Re: London Elects It's First Muslim Mayor by Chongaiman: 1:55pm On May 07, 2016 |
^^^ Or end of the beginning. |
Religion / Re: Deadly Silence Regarding Zionist Crimes In Occupied Land By Baba Ali Mustapha by Chongaiman: 6:27pm On Apr 29, 2016 |
Wonders shall never end. The author lives in the BH heartland yet all he cares about is the ME! The BH terrorists are killing, stealing and destroying in his neighborhood yet he is taking paracetamol for someone else's headache. I can bet with anything that no single Palestinian has ever written anything against the insurgency in the NE. Muslim people of Palestine? So there are no Palestinian Christians? No wonder he is not talking about the BH terrorists since they are all of the same faith. Why not discuss about the government's prolonged deadly silence in view of the rampaging Fulani herdsmen? Munafiqun! |
Politics / Re: Corrupt Elements, Incompetent Aides, Saboteurs Join Forces To Hinder Buhari by Chongaiman: 1:31pm On Apr 26, 2016 |
Party flourished through propaganda. Now all we hear are excuses upon excuses almost a year after swearing in. Only a lazy worker blames his tools. |
Nairaland / General / Re: Breaking: USA Treasury Plans To Replace Ex-president Andrew Jackson On $20 Bill by Chongaiman: 9:45am On Apr 21, 2016 |
Wow! A nigger on the dollar! |
Politics / Re: Pics: When Boko Haram Is Coming To Attack The Last Fuel Station In Sambisa by Chongaiman: 11:06am On Apr 13, 2016 |
Humming...... Is it funny? No it's not funny. Is it funny? No it's not funny.......... 2 Likes
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Politics / Re: Photos: Who Remembers This From This Time Last Year? by Chongaiman: 3:56pm On Feb 23, 2016 |
TheLeakyTribe: O boy, dis na one-chance campaign promises. |
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