₦airaland Forum

We spend lots of time teaching each other on how to make more money, get good jobs, manage finances and the most Epic of all “build credit score/ applying for credit card”. But I think we spend lesser time sharing how we are building our home or staying married/in a relationship for so many years. I will start by sharing.

I don’t think I need to declare “long read “ again. I believe if you see the name, you will know it’s “ semmyk “s cousin. 😁😆

Growing up, I have always wanted to be able to “Take Care” of my family and not just a “Provider”. To be honest I don’t know where I got that from. And I say this because I lost my dad when I was Six. So I can’t say he was the main example. Maybe because my family (siblings and mum) have strong Love/bond. We took care of each other financially and otherwise, or maybe it was the healthy and unhealthy family in my neighborhood when growing up. But I know I always wanted to have a happy home and to achieve that, i would have to “Take care” of my family and not just be the “Provider”.

As an African (Nigerian) male, we can’t deny that all we hear around us is to be the provider. Your sole responsibility is to be the provider for your family. This is good, but please be more than a provider for your family. Take care of your family.

Taking care of your family goes beyond providing for your family. It’s providing the food and shelter, helping them eat and making sure that the food works in their tummy to provide nutrient they need to be strong in life.

Providing food and shelter to make them comfortable and safe. Doing your best at all time to make the house a home.

Helping them eat both food and wisdom of life. Sharing experiences with your kids, not just the A’s experiences, but more importantly your failures and how you resulted into failing despite your effort. Expose yourself to them, with the aim of helping them avoid the negative consequences of improper planing, or accepting that you can plan sometimes and things still don’t go as expected (living with it).

Making sure that the food provide nutrients they need to be strong in life. Food in form of Eba, thoughts and wisdom. Expose your success secret to your kids. work towards eliminating negativity in them.

Take care of your family. Cut the chicken, season it and keep in the fridge so that your wife will just put in the oven when she’s making the stew. Bath your kids and drop them in the nursery. Cook family dinner. I cook typically in three periods. When I am very happy, when I am expectant and when I am unhappy. Happy to celebrate, Expectant to manage expectation and reflect on things properly, and finally, Unhappy to avoid speaking to my wife so that I don’t explode.

I remember when Nigerian Treasury bond was a big thing. I will quote my price. And on the auction day, before 1pm, I don do everything for house because I de try manage my expectations. My wife didn’t understand the whole idea of waking up very early to do things.

Play with the kids. Do things our parents didn’t do. Don’t let your job control you, control your job (or work towards being able to control your job if you can’t do that now). Plan your future, the kind of husband and father you want to be. Taking care of your family makes your family love and appreciate you. They may not say it verbally, but you can tell they value you because they always want you around, and they would do anything to keep you happy.

Discover your super power and know how to use it. My own super power is that I can only sleep for 4-5hrs max direct. The remaining hours I use to read and do things to make my home a comfortable place. You can tell I am using my super power now.

If you can build this things, relocating abroad won’t be that much stressful as you were already shopping for the family (from shoprite) and stopping at the market to get yam on your way home. Forget all those things they make you feel you are weak when you do those things, na lie. You are not weak anything, you are just happy. Notice our fathers do any and everything once in a while (when they get extra fund). Don’t be the once a while man (hence why I said “control your job). Don’t let money dictate your happiness. Control your happiness. Reduce the number of friends so that you can have more time for family.

I know you will say “woman wey go cheat go cheat” or “woman wey go leave you go still leave you”. In security there is what we call Inherent Risk and Residual Risk. Inherent risk is the risk before specific security controls, and Residual is the risk leftover after applying improvement and security controls. I see Divorce and Cheating as Residual risk. It’s a risk that doesn’t really go away. You can only do what you can do, you can’t control it cos it’s not JUST you, it’s the personality of your partner/wife too.

Do all you can to have a happy home. There are too many divorce and separation when couples enter abroad, the aim of abroad is to expose the family to better result for their effort and also open opportunities, NOT to end the relationship/marriage.

Don’t ask me what a woman is to do. I only have brothers, no sister, but I can tell you my mother took care of us cos she provided and also made sure we were/are good. There is your hidden answer.

Blessings….

@lovelysofa

I can tell this is driving you crazy from your response. You have to be calm so as to see reasons and understand if it truly is of benefit for your daughter.

My neighbors daughter is in same class as my son. She will be moving to I believe P1 this year. Also when I visit his nursery, I see some kids that are “maybe” older and wonder why they are there. Could be the reason you have stated.

That said, try so much to focus on your child for this. Forget about that parent feeling (this is a very easy advice to give, but hard to follow). Please try, if your child is showing any of the reason outlined, please look into it properly. You don’t want your child to have problem with defending herself or communicating in the long run.

With regards to her reports and all, I live in Scotland and can tell you to do more or your own checks on your child than what is written on paper (good or bad). These people paint the best picture even in difficult circumstances. They use the positive approach to things, so they always say positive things more. Some suggestion I have to access some of their concerns for delaying her is kind of late now and I don’t know if you have that time. Like:

Visiting her school in disguises and watching how she relate with people. Does she abandons everyone when you are around or she introduces you to everyone and wants you to join them in the play. Does she relate with everyone with confidence? When she speaks, do you see the confidence and boldness of someone who can take care of herself? This things I have outlined is not for the school or you, but for your kid. Confidence is very key in this UK especially considering that kids start to make decisions when they become teens and even you the parents will have to debate with them on it.

I can assume it to be a very difficult time for you as no one wants to hear something like this, but please in whatever you do, make sure it’s not about you as a parent or the school, please make sure the main reason is the child’s future.

Blessings to you and family.

One thing I like about nairaland is, you can easily get a poll result without carrying out any research.

All the conversation has been about student coming to UK to contribute to taxes. The £15k pound adds to the purse of the school/ government

I don’t think I read anyone value the education gotten in return or even attributed some of the amount paid (our assumed £15k) to any quality or value of the education received or to be received.

Does that mean that we all came here for solely migration and no course for self improvement in the form of education?

If we pay £15k, we minus the education (quality depending on your school), then you know what is left. we only talk about contributing to tax without the value we got in return.

One way to get less sentimental is plan without sentiment. First come to study and let every other thing play out. There are lots of country looking for professionals. Do your masters and apply for job to not just UK companies but other countries too. If/when you get a job in maybe Ireland or Switzerland, you are going there in a different level and will be respected.

A lot of people are making this whole UK thing look like we are all running without any positive mission. Imagine a professional coming to UK to do masters, then jump to care home just to continue to stay in the UK. Why not develop yourself and look for where your 10yrs experience can get you and your family a better life. The data for some of these things are available (when the little things are put together, it becomes a big thing). When a Univeristy sponsor you and you come here, then switch, it’s loss on the Univeristy that has sponsored you.

Sometimes you have to think from the other person’s perspective. I don’t mean selfish politicians seeking for supporters by coming up with selfish and silly ideas.

Atleast if there is nothing to learn from all of this, we have learnt that:

1. we can come to school and get a valued sponsorship or relocate to where we will be considered professionals that we are.

2. We can learn to talk less and respect ourself. The number of people promoting fake account and bumped account is just crazy. We do this things like the UK people are fools. Tik Tok (I believe to be for social fun) is now the marketing avenue for care jobs and bump account.

3. Reduce our greed and selfishness.

4. Really care and love each other

5. Use education to improve ourself so that we can make a change and not just to run away.

winta2007:
You are correct. I want to start applying as a SOC analyst. I am learning some of the tools used in SOC.

Cool, try to register for EY graduate cyber security program. The process is kind of long, so you might be on it before you complete your program. Also they have good start pay and tools to give you the knowledge you require to excel.

Search for graduate or entry level programs. Programs like that will help you build your confidence and knowledge as security is all about your confidence/knowledge to make decisions.

Try the EY program. I think there is another one AON.

winta2007:
How do I contact you boss. I am in UK. Currently, completing my Masters in Cybersecurity.

We can keep communicating on here for the time being. Nairaland being a faceless forum makes it easy to tell people the truth since they don’t know you personally. When we start to get personal, then reservations starts to come in. So go for it, what’s up?

Congrats on your soon to complete masters degree.

Intended on waiting till the whole smoke goes off before commenting, but it seems it won’t any time soon and we all have to go back to work tomorrow (for those on hols).

While we appreciate good jokes, sarcasm and banter, it’s important to note that in some situation it may not be appropriate or may be deem insult to people who has or are experiencing the supposed situation in that context. Waited for people who are married for YEARs or who have been here for YEARs to point out what cultural shock/change can cause and how it can be difficult for marriages (regardless of how long).

Marriage is not easy. Zahra29 was on that pure explanation process before she let herself distracted and involved in this assumption battle. Let’s be real, the cultural change abroad can eliminate jokers in marriage. First almost everyone around you is divorced. Some of the ones married are on the second and third. Some are single parents and from the outside it looks like they have everything going great for themselves. When you look at all these things, you begin to think you can be happy being separated from your partner. A partner (male or female) who ignored everyone in the UK and thought it will be best to have his/her spouse here in the UK. You know what it means to come abroad first, live for some weeks/months and start to assist for your husband or wife to come join you? I doubt if anyone will contribute to bring a partner that’s not ok abroad.

Cultural shock is big, for some of us, the only time we see men in Nigeria bath and take care of their kids, it’s because they are jobless or being controlled by their wife (Nigerian translation). When a woman works hard, the next translations is her husband is a lazy man. we can’t just keep going this way. We have to make a change, advise people based on your experience. Tell people the truth. We can’t just keep helping people with information on how to separate from their partner without offering experienced based advice.

A new couple comes to the UK and few months divorce and separation card is presented. You don’t need anyone to tell you cultural shock could be impacting real hard on them. Man thinks it will be great to have all this beautiful woman out here, woman thinks another man will treat her better (forgetting that the city is filled with recycled products). Or man gets intimidated with the fact that his wife earns more, work crazy shift and will like to rest more, or man wants the Nigerian woman he married who does everything in the house while he watches football and drink beer. Don’t ask me how I know this, if you ride the bus, you will hear a man calling his people that his wife has changed since she got to the UK. Or a woman telling her friends her husband is suddenly lazy and picky of jobs. If you doubt me, try early morning buses (5:30 and 6am).

Let’s tell people the truth from experience, marriage is not easy, it’s worst under 5yrs and you move abroad. Cultural change and shock will punch the marriage every single day. Tell your male friends to come down and help in the house, bath the kids and spend time with the kids (it helps with bonding, plus you don’t want someone outside advising your child), let your kids love you naturally. Women tell your female friends your husband friend (since you can’t say it’s your husband) behaved like that in the past, just give him some time and tolerate his attitude, him eye go soon clear. Tell people the truth, marriage is hard.

We are here arguing about someone’s joke and making translations about situation we don’t have the real story of, forgetting/ignoring that “ Another Nigerian marriage is about to end”.

Now this thing don de long. Seun abi Justwise, who do we send suggestions to, we need audio messaging to help shorten all this long write up.

All I can say is this, from the good and the bad, learn from it, and share your experience with others in a way they can learn from it too and make a better decision.

Going to any country as a student might mean going down the food chain. You have to fight your way up. Sometimes even with your previous experiences, you may still face the “you don’t have this location experience” problems.

Someone shared a road map of immigrants/immigrating. Can’t remember who, but it was some weeks ago, how people see UK from different lenses based on number of years lived in the country. It’s funny but very true. Traveling abroad is not so easy, especially when you realize those easy/good stories are not all true.

At this minute, the only reason I can advise anyone to go abroad will be on work sponsored visas (not care because they offer free sponsorships), but sponsorship from a profession you are passionate about (professional or building a career in -which could be care).

If you are not coming sponsored, then be prepared for anything including rejections and starting from the bottom of the food chain. Learn from people’s experience and build a good mindset for yourself. Your mind need to be strong to withstand difficult circumstances/situations. But the mindset built on your own is not the same as the one you copy. It is stronger and has more faith.

In our Nigerian lingo: Everyone go de alright las las. Just believe and keep putting in the work. It will surely payoff.

Lexusgs430:
Simply give your neighbour a spare key ....... Is always the best option ........

Be friends with your neighbours....... Don't be a SNOB ........🤣😜

Hahaha. Some neighbors don’t want to be friends with you.

My last neighbor was very friendly. Dude use to put both (mine n his trash out). Checks on us. Got our son Christmas gift the first Christmas in the house. We use same man to clear garden, so there was no ideal separation of the garden. My son plays with his cats and we play football. His grandchildren come visiting and they play with our son. He drinks his wine and tea at my corner of the garden.

Long story short. He sold his house in December becos he was moving out as his kids are all gone and he can’t live alone. Gone to his moms house (she’s alone too and very old). We have been teaching oga not to knock on Mr A’s house cos Mr A doesn’t live there anymore. We now use our own side of the garden, preparing for the worst if our new neighbors are not friendly. House has been sold so it’s only a matter of time before they move in.

If him no de friendly, then God don already give us enough time to adjust.

Tinyemeka:
@Lexusgs470 I've just locked myself outside the house and na only me dey house. Barefoot and no jacket.

I'm stuck in the foyer. Have tried sliding a card through the gap. No hope. Ahdondie!??

I don't want to start calling locksmiths now to charge me on top jam lock. Any advice anyone please ?🥺

Just saw this now. Believe you must have found way in. For future and as record for others:

There is something done with a drill to successfully unlock a door. All you need to do is get the lock back and I believe that’s less than £10 to get the new lock with keys. I would have written the process for the drill here, but for security reasons can’t/won’t.

Any unlock situation, ask your neighbors for drill, 80% sure they will have one as DIY is a human in every home in UK. You might be lucky that the owner of the drill knows how to use it for locks and help you do it since he/she knows you live in the house.

A general option is put a spare key under the flower vase in the garden or in your gas heater box outside your home.

Pele. Those blacksmith Abi goldsmith (one of the smith sha) de charge £170 to cut and replace key. UK fit kill person.

eniola1010:
He dint ask u how he will take care of the children. It is documents he will use to come over he asked.

😁😂🤣

BorisJohnson:
Hello Chreze,
Just out of curiosity. You said there are ‘not-so-expensive’ tests to check the genotype of the foetus in-utero. Brilliant!

This check is done post fertilisation and conception, yes?

What would have happened in your own case if the results showed SS? The pregnancy will be terminated. Yes? No?
Let’s assume yes. What happens if the second pregnancy is SS too? Repeat termination? And the 3rd and the fourth etc until an AA or AS comes along?
You machine the emotional trauma, and the cost.

Dupyshoo said something the day we had this conversation which I would have replied because it made lots of sense. But because we all have different believe and religion, conversations like this is assumed and seen from different perspectives. One thing I believe in is that one won’t get more than what they can carry. And my
Prayer is that everyone gets their desires in life.

This is a very big topic and when we wear our religious glasses it becomes a very difficult/different thing. The next talk will be abortion and someone already talked about it from that perspective, which is also reasonable, but don’t want to go into that part, as we all have different believe.

When I write, I write long cos there is someone that needs just one line of your rubbish long note and that part will change their life.

I answered your question already in one of my post “a difficult decision would be if “it had gone the other way”… the reason for that is because I have learnt that until some situation happen, you really don’t know what your response or approach to such situation will be. In all, I work with my faith.

If I am being honest, I don’t think I have met too many people with AA genotype, not because them no de, but because most people don’t check their genotype. But also if we are to speak with the few research out there, we will know there are not that much. So the question becomes what happens to people who are AS, who do they get married to?

we all have different upbringing and thought process. Exposure and experiences adds a lot to one’s growth. The reason why I don’t wish anyone an SS child is not because of the parents, but because of the child. I can imagine it to be a difficult life with the general perception and real health scare. When I see people who are challenged in any form or way, i feel for them more than their parents or siblings cos they are the ones going thru the real pain.

You will be shocked to find out that a lot of the people you know that are married are AS-AS. They just didn’t check and in Nigeria, it’s not that much talked about until they have kids and doctor advice that they run the test. Glad people are taking it seriously now.

Finally, If there is an earthly discovery, then we need to search for an earthly answer. God has given us the brainpower, we just need to use it and that is why I believe in working with researchers.

Mosme:
Hello everyone

Please I need someone to explain the immigrant children in school rule and public funds.

Let's say I have 3 children one is 5 years the other 3 plus and 2 plus

Which one is eligible for free school and for the others what are they eligible for, how do I go about it and how do I avoid public funds. Tier 2 visa is my status

Thank you

Don’t know much about tier 2 or other parts of UK. But in Scotland, the 5yr+ n 3yr+ are generally entitled to the free school (free hours) you talked about. For the 2yr+ to be in nursery, I think it has to be private till they turn 3.

I heard from a head teacher that people who pay tax get some % back from their private nursery payment ( 2yr+). Didn’t apply or research on this as I no want story then, plus was on study visa then. You can research on that, maybe you qualify.

Lexusgs430:
At the point you feel, your feeling is growing/might grow ........

I would say not longer than 40 days......... Don't only ask (if possible, conduct a test together)...…....

To be safe ...... Is always better than sorry.......

NB: Not unless you're AA...... Then the world is your oyster........🤣😂

Even AA breakdown service, cannot stop you ......😁

It’s always difficult to debate with you, cos you go make the person laff and forget the discussion.

This topic is important to me cos I believe we need to let the word out. There are precautions to avoid the sad part. One major reason why our parents in those days had more SS case was because most didn’t know about checking genotype and there were not many solutions as at that time. Now it’s different. If you have a partner you are happy with. Then discuss and be sure you can combine faith and funds to deal with the world.

babajeje123:
Hmmm. Not everyone would be lucky to have AA as their first child. If there are no resources to avert producing SS by all means, steer clear please. You don't want to live watching your kids in agony and you not able to help than to weep .

Bolded is very true, I can’t deny that. Have an in law who has 4kids and the last is the SS. Very expensive to manage.

The AA part is to also mention that an AS and AS can get married and give birth to an AA. Most of us know it’s possible but we don’t always hear about it. There is this general believe that when AS couple, it will always result in an SS.

There are resources that are not all that expensive, like having the sample test before baby development. We can’t keep making it look like it’s not possible.

There are no definitive percentage of the total number of AA in Africa and Asia (since these cases are common in those region). So what happens to the likes of us that are AS, we won’t get married if we don’t get an AA partner?

We have to live beyond these fear and work with researches to live a happier life. Ask yourself why I don’t want to go above my 1child or why I don’t really have issues adopting a child if I can’t have one? Life has to go on.

Just a friendly question, at what point of dating do we ask the genotype and blood group question? @Lexusgs430 please help with this question too. And anyone that has an answer.

lightnlife:
There's a 1-in-4 chance of having an SS baby, 2-in-4 of having AS and 1-in-4 for AA.

Interestingly, there are procedures for testing the baby's gen at pregnancy to know their genotype. The commonest are CVS at 12 weeks and Amniocentesis at 16 weeks. Either of these would be necessary for natural conception.

The alternative to these is IVF where the eggs and hormones are carefully pre-selected.

As with any medical and non-medical procedure, there's no 100% guarantee but there have been more successes than failures. Even life no sure!

The ultimate decision lays with you and your partner: how much risk can you take together?

I know two set of couples who defiled the genotype barriers and both have healthy (non-SS) kids now. One used faith that the two kids won't have - they didn't do any CVS or Amnio and it turned out well. The second combined faith and procedures and it also turned out good. I think the later is better - God and his people in the medics.

Ultimately, the decision is with you and your partner. You simply need to get good counselling and information from trusted sources to understand the dynamics and risks of the AS/AS combo.

Yes, the UK has competent professionals in this field although the knowledge base for some doctors here is low, because this is predominantly an black issue. But I know of doctors and midwives that understand the whole thing and support women through the process.

Again, just speak to a professional.

Best wishes.

I read this after posting. Thank you for this.

And you can add me to the people you know, you now know 3 couples. And yes, we used faith and procedure.

I can’t say the process is cheap. I believe the genotype test cost #350k in 2019. But that’s equivalent or less than what we spent at the clubs or vacations. An average Nigeria spend times 3-5 of that for party or wedding 💒.

Just do research and speak to positive people for honest advice.

Yinnchi2:
Hello, please I need advice. I met my boyfriend(African-British) a few months ago and we plan to get married later this year. Unfortunately, I found out we are both of AS genotype. I'm optimistic about not having kids with sickle cell but since it can't be ruled out, I want to ask if the UK government provides adequate and free health programs for such or if the sickle cell treatment issue is the same here as it is in Nigeria

Pieces of Advice will be appreciated. Thanks

@Claremont gave you a clear answer (with understanding of the situation).

My wife and I are both AS and our son is AA. It’s gonna be a long read and I hope you like one cos your question was short and direct.

I believe marriage is a long term thing and as such should be planned with someone you can live with for long (not ideally someone that is AA). My wife and I met in the first months of our 100level and we connected. Dated for YEARS and got married. We knew we were both AS and had friends who advised not settling together. We got married and left Nigeria cos we had plans and family will disturb for kids. Worked and saved lot of money. Moved back to Nigeria to settle (raise family) and invest (start business). My wife got pregnant and we were fine. Had spoken to a doctor that told me we could do our fetus check opposite LUTH, but it was quite expensive (in his words), inside me I smiled cos I was looking at a hospital in Saint Denis where they had a successful blood procedure for a child. So the hospital opposite LUTH can’t kill me with bill. Visited the sickle sell foundation opposite LUTH Booked appointment for January, December we went on vacation to Paris, my wife was going to visit the Eiffel Tower and do shopping, while, me secretly want to go see the hospital in Saint Denis. The week we stayed at Saint Denis, one morning I woke up and walked to the hospital gate. Stood for some mins, smiled and went back home.

We came back January, had the sample taken and weeks later or so, we got our result “our son is AA”.

Some parts I skipped so as not to make the story long, one night my wife said she wasn’t feeling too good (as with some other nights- I believe normal preg stuff), but I had an appointment the next morning, and since it was just me and my wife living, I took her to our family clinic for bed rest for 1day, so that she can have nurses watch her while I go out with peace of mind. When I came back, was very stressed and one of the doctors (in lagos island) called me to his office that he needed to speak with me. Dude started by saying “no vex o, I have something I want to ask you”. I knew we were about to start that conversation. “Did you know your wife was AS, I said yes, then why continue, cos you know it might not be easy for you guys, as in do you know the implications? Why did you proceed. “

Here is my answer to everyone, life is hard and challenging. Having the right partner is everything. I don’t want to have an AA wife but hate being married. I want to love my wife and love my child(ren). I want to have a happy home. I can’t base the progress of my relationship on genetics. What if she’s AA and has all the bad character with it.

To all, there are lot of solutions, Even in Nigeria. The Sickle center opposite LUTH is a very good one, I can attest to it as a witness (tho there is one skoi-skoi doctor there that asked me why I was in the hospital and didn’t go to work), but the place is nice and you will be a proud Nigerian if you visit the center. When you get pregnant, you and your partner can go there before 2 months to book appointment and have the child checked out. I am blessed to have had ours come out as AA, a difficult decision would be if “it had gone the other way”. But be positive about life. There are people who are AA but have sickness grow in them that they can’t deal with. Life is challenging.

Just read and learn about everything. Speak on things you know about (especially conversations like this). At the end of the day we all want to be happy. Just do what makes you happy and believe in God. Pray and let your faith do the work.

Avoid NEGATIVITY and NEGATIVE people. Weeks ago I noticed I was becoming kind of depressed. Work was fine. After deep investigation/experiment, I realized BBC and SKY TV were the cause, the negative news and constant show of people suffering in Syria and Africa ( the constant emotional plea for fund) got me to that point. I was watching the Syria and turkey earthquake and water rolled down my eyes. Everything was taking me to a place I didn’t like. I had to stop watching live tv and news for some time. Only watched comedy shows and stand up comedy till I got my head out .

My wife wants 2 kids. I am fine with just one. If I am unable to convince her and we ever decide to go for one more, We will go back to Nigeria after two months of pregnancy and do the same process all over, opposite LUTH. Yes they do the fetus test here in the UK and yes it’s free. But I respect the experience and show of concern at the Center opposite LUTH and will be more than happy to contribute to the growth of Nigeria in that little way.

Love who love you and be happy. Life is too short.

Stay blessed

Teebaa:
Thank you very much. I do appreciate
However, i tend to have that passion you speak of for data analysis. I will apply that blue print you mentioned to it then

Great stuff. Sadly I have no knowledge on data Analyst stuffs. But one thing I can tell you is, if you ever get or see any job offer from any big company (not necessarily the big 4 as they call them in the UK, but companies with branches in other country or headquarters in the US), accept the offer even if their pay is low. These big companies spend lots of money on tools to do their work and in some cases pay strictly industry salary.

4 months with these companies can change your life as they will expose you to good tools in your field and help you gain good knowledge. They know how to purchase good tools with access to the tool company Univeristy library (access to free training for their staff who will be using the tools). So just go with the flow of their low pay, build yourself within 4 months, then make your move.

Good luck.

Teebaa:
Please folks in the Uk that are into IT.

How do you see the prospect of learning cybersecurity with Itcareer switch?

Seriously on the lookout for a UK experience /internship in an IT course.

I am an entry level data analyst without any UK real project yet and no jobs being offered except data entry roles with very low pay.

Data analysis trainings are quite expensive and i do not consider High Impact career trainings ideal for a UK experience.

Edakun help

Cybersecurity (security) is more of PASSION. You can get real security trainings and experience without paying anyone a dime. The only requirement for this is PASSION and time.

My advice is look at cyber security analyst Job descriptions ( with interest in tools you are expected to have skills in), go to YouTube, search for introduction videos to those tools. Learn from people who use these tools daily. Spend time on them.

Real example, Qualys and Splunk are two good tools used in the security space. Go to YouTube watch videos on intro to Splunk and Qualys. You will get videos from the companies directly on YouTube. After this, head straight to their website (Qualys and Splunk). Register and get a free account. This account will give you access to fundamental courses (free) to their tool usage. You will get lab sessions with access to their environments and do real life exercises/experiments. You will get certification after successfully completing the courses. Build your knowledge and security thinking skills. As you progress in this you will find out more useful learning techniques/ideas (like using virtual box for security exercises).

After that stage, jump on videos on YouTube to learn cybersecurity interview questions and answers. Again, multiple videos on YouTube for security analyst interview question and answer. When making searches, start with cyber security as key word. Then progress to searching “security analysts”. Security Analyst search will combine “information security”, “cybersecurity” and general security architecture results. Here you get knowledge about DLP tools, how to configure security tools and how they are used.

All of this can only be achieved thru PASSION. If you have done all of this, you can contact me later and I will schedule a google chat interview with you. Please note that the interview is not to give you job, but to help you prepare for interview with real security managers and boost your confidence.

I have had interview with managers who care about certification and I have had interview with manager who don’t care, they just want to know you are sound. They can tell if you know your onion from just security chats.

Stay blessed.

PS: if your passion is being data analysts, apply same process (starting with job description and tools, etc etc). I have only shared security cos that’s my area.

[quote author=gergemam post=121829924]OMO...

I will get there sha... Make me too spend £1000 on Workstation Setup [/quote

Yeah bossman, for sure we will all get there.

If only you know how much for @ kode12 set up for house😁😁

gergemam:
All this people post Chairs and Table whey price nah £160...

People get money for here ooooo... Abeg make una show your boy the way oooooooo....

I love the soft stone throw. There are people using £500 - £1000 adjustable desk.

For the way part: concept is get the job before making the purchase. If you are working fully remote, you know you need to get comfortable seat. If you spend longer hours on your desk, you know you may be needing an adjustable desk so you can seat and stand. Also put the item you are eyeing in your trolley/cart, you may be alerted when the price drops. E no pass like that.

There are £300 chairs that may not give you a better comfort as a £95 one.

tushqueen:
I trust my people to always deliver, thank you. Have you got any recommendations for desk? Sturdy, durable and functional ( drawers, probably adjustable height as well)

Habitat Zander 2 Drawer Desk

I use the Grey two tone, it’s a very beautiful match with that chair. But It’s not adjustable.

I like the adjustable desk designs too. That’s what I am eyeing. Will like to stand for like 2hrs everyday. I will advise you to get an adjustable one instead of the above.

tushqueen:
Hi, someone posted and gave review about a comfortable ergonomic chair a while ago, can someone share the post please.

Habitat Alma High Back Ergonomic Office Chair - Grey465/7112

Place the above on argos. The high back help to remind me to seat up when I am lost in my work. 100% remote, been using for 5months. Before buying I posted the pic on here and someone confirmed it to be a good one. that’s two human(Nigerian) reviewers.

it’s a very beautiful chair.

Adebayo82:
Good morning everyone , please i need advice on my PWS. My tier 4 will expires in the next 6 days, and I applied for my PWS visa yesterday. I later got a mail from my school this morning that I need to re-sit one of my course. previously, I have checked everything through my hod and everything is fine on my coursework not until this morning when I received a mail from exam board. I'm scaring because I submitted my PWS visa application yesterday. I make a decision Swiftly because I don't want to take the risky of living in the UK with no Valid visa. I'm dilemma, what should I do now.

In addition to what Bourne007 said,

Before applying for PSW, your school is meant to send a communication to you that you have successfully completed your program and that they have informed home office so you can go ahead to apply for PSW.

There is a small clause with the PSW, the clause is that your school will inform home office of your successful completion of your course, not just after your final exam.

I don’t know about getting your money back, but I believe Bourne said you can if you cancel the application, but before your next application, wait for your schools mail confirming they have sent information to the home office.

victorVIC1:
Thanks a lot for your advice. God bless you. I got a reversed offer with 3k discount after engaging them on email

Cool. That’s something.

eniola1010:
Honestly we no suopose dey use 15mins dey bath. Ppl need to realize say bathing ur skin too much is not really good. Ur skin need those oil. The skin will sort itself naturally. Dont leave the tap on when brushing. Dont wash unless u have a pile of dirty cloth.

Dont do underwashing by that i mean washing less cloth in the washing machine.

These thins na just sustainable procedures.

Although it is very hard to achieve.

For example even me wey dey talk. I get over 100 tesco nylon. Even when tesco try to put a price on each nylon to make us reuse old nylon. Ppl still dont care they will still pay for new nylon when they have dozens at home they can resuse

We don’t wash for 15mins. We just let the water cool the head. It’s a substitute for swimming 😃 😊

Jupiter123:
Not into any practices yet and that's why I am asking about it. Only my 2019-2020 nysc experience and yes I have my unconditional offer already, that's why I need to know about the visa process

That’s not an issue. It’s just the beginning of 2023, so it’s not been long. Also if your uni is fine with your record. Then don’t stress. Just proceed with your visa application. Fulfill visa requirements and you should be fine. Good luck

Jupiter123:
Thank you for your detailed explanation and time. I don't have a study gap of 10 years (2002) possibly you are using that as an example. Considering I heard a study gap of 5 years below doesn't need many loads of documents as per work details. If that should be the case, am I supposed to count my study gap from 2018, 2019, or 2020? Please in reference to my first question. Thank you sir once again and I await your response.

I don’t think 5 years gap should be an issue. You had to put the first study to practice and after five years you have found a reason to further (going by normal reasoning). I know some universities use to request for some more document after a 5yrs of initial study. But since you have your offer letter, I think you are good. Trust me I don’t see any issue there. Just go by the normal application process and you should be fine.

Personally I believe acceptance of study is the universities job while meeting up to financial study/living requirements is for the visa office.

peterbam:
Life of an immigrant in the UK.
Please how do you guys get accommodation?
I came in as a dependent on student visa. We are in Bristol and have lived in hotels and air bnb which has drained our finance. Been difficult getting accommodation for 4 (2 children)
It's either they are asking for me to already have a job, or rejecting families, children etc, moreso, the demand for house here is high. So they quickly get or choose other tenants.
I have called, met and seen several agents. Also, several rent sites.
Please can anyone help or give direction/ advice.

This has been an issue for some time now. What I did in this situation was to talk to the Airbnb owner to convert us to tenant for a 6 months period. This was a lot easier then and my then landlord accepted immediately cos it was that hot covid time. He had I believe 3 flats that were not making him a dime.

Maybe try to chat with the property owner to see if he/she can accept that offer. Mind you, this won’t be same price as what the apartment will go for rent, but it will be better than the Airbnb price. Then you try to intensify your house hunt and maybe consider other locations (like small villages close to the city).

Note: most Airbnb owners wont accept this kind of offer now as it’s not of benefit to them, But there are some with human compassion that will consider your family for this. Especially, owners that do travel abroad themself and know how life can be challenging for a family in a new city.

Roll the dice. Good luck

Jupiter123:
Ok. Thank you, which means I don't need to submit any work reference or salary statement and did you get your visa already sir? Thank you once again

Ok, let’s press pause. What I was on about was the need to attach a CV. Visa application are sometimes unique. An applicants may just submit one or two documents while another applicant will require 3 to 5 documents to prove or explain their situation.

That said, UK student visa is simple, get acceptance letter from the uni, have the required amount of money in your account, show proof of relationship if you have dependents and apply. If the embassy requires more information from you, they sometimes request for those information if they need it to make a decision. But UK student visa is very simple and direct.

I don’t think you need to submit work references and salary statement (unless you want to validate a chunk deposit), I believe your bank statement will show that on its own (if I get a payment from dangote refinery, then it’s cause I have a financial relationship with them). If you want to cover any aspect you think might be a disadvantage, then use your cover letter/letter of explanation for that. Like if you want to explain why there is a gap in study (if it’s something you are concerned about), then add it to your letter of explanation that you have been working for the last 10yrs after your graduation in 2002 and have decided to go for this program to get you up to date with practice in your field. Try to keep it simple so it’s easy for case officer to make a decision.

segxi1960:
Told madam this but she still insists on a 30min shower. Says she enjoys the water.

In that case see it as a happy moment for her and accept it as part of what keeps the family happy/healthy.

I spend time in shower too (not 30mins o), but maybe 10-15mins (mostly evenings). Shower calms me and it’s a place I come up with solutions for some of my situations. It’s also my thinking spot. I let my son have that happy time too (most times).

We are lucky we don’t have a separate bill for water as it’s included in the council tax. Don’t know if anything would have changed if we got a separate bill as I have accepted that there are some things we need to have fun with even if it’s considered a financial sin in the UK. I no wan too tight myself for this UK, since we all don accept say the economy is not necessarily to have everyone rich, but rather have everyone comfortable, then make we first de comfortable, make e con be say na the riches we de find.

With this few points of mine, I hope I’ve been able to convince you, but not confuse you that madam needs the long bath to come up with solutions on how to keep the family running. 😃 😀

victorVIC1:
For those who are familiar with University of Salford, I just got a conditional offer from the school but they didn't include discount in the offer. Please is there any possibility of receiving a discount upon fulfilling the conditions of the offer (which include deposit payment)? Just want to be sure to enable me make a choice between Salford and University of South Wales as the fee in the offer I got from South Wales is 3K lesser

Don’t know about Salford, but I know discounts are stated in offer letter cos the offer letter caries financial requirements. At least, my offer letter then came with a discount and it was clearly stated and the balance payment was stated too.

If you think there is a specific discount/scholarship you may/should qualify for, my advice will be to write to the course advisor of your program (explaining to him/her how you qualify and how the discount will help your financial situation to pursue the program).

Jupiter123:
Good morning @dduchess89 and all

Please I graduated in 2018 as per exams but got my degree in 2019 cos we finished the final project in 2019 and 2019 was also written in the certificate. Did NYSC from 2019 to 2020. Now my question is, do I necessarily need to submit a CV while applying for my Visa, Does the UKVI ask for additional documents wherein to submit my CV? I have been confused about this

This is not necessary as it’s not stated on the documents required. I believe universities request for this (not all cases tho). I didn’t submit CV for visa application, but I did for my masters program as it was a requirement by the school.

You don’t necessarily need a CV for visa application.