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Chrisley's Posts

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Fashion / Re: 6 Common Fashion Faux Pas Women Make by chrisley(m): 12:09pm On Oct 26
A fashion faux pas is simply fashion gaffes/mistakes.

It is makeup for a reason, it is supposed to give you that pop. Not destroy what you had before. Do not be quick to use every makeup item on your face- especially when you do not even know how to use them.

Showing panty lines is a no no for any grown woman. Avoid wearing underwears that are visible in your pants, body-con dresses, skirts...etc. Get seamless and nude underwears for such dresses.

Heels are fashionable only when you can strut in them. Anything less and you can save us the embarrassment of watching you walk like a penguin. There are kitten heels, stick to them.

The golden rule to this is, if the upper bit is showing- cover the lower bit and vice versa. Leave somethings to our imagination

Accessories are meant to compliment our outfits, but they shouldn't be overdone- lest we move about looking like a mobile accessories store. I couldn't even find a woman to go with this, but understanding lo matter...lol

This is a 2-in-1 problem
i. Wearing the wrong dress for a right occasion (i.e) overdressing or underdressing. Maybe you didn't get the memo. We should all have that LBD (little black dress). It helps when you do not know what to wear.

ii. Wearing the wrong dress for our body type. You want to hide your slim body, flabby arms, tummy...etc OR maybe you just think they are trendier. Don't wear too big clothes or too tight clothes. They come off awful and age inappropriate most times.

I agree witout demur.. but your post is bereft of the most primary

"You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile"

15 Likes 2 Shares

Romance / Re: How Did You Know Your Girlfriend Was Having Sex With Someone Else by chrisley(m): 11:56pm On Jun 01
I returned from a peace keeping mission and was the hero of the war. While jetting back to the most populated black nation on earth, my abode, I thought of my bride, the one I had intercourse with only once.
My moments as a mercenary occupied my brave mind and I touched the 5.2 inches uzi (gun) between my legs and the sac that contained the white coagulated liquid and two canon balls were filled and ready to pour out.

With fulfilment and hope, I was so sure I'd defeat the pretty red bone thing once more and make her scream to the most high, I was so high in emotions. Proud of my encounters in the war front and the other room.

I arrived my mansion, threw her in bed after a meal and bath. I was ready to discipline her and become a hero once more. After pre-intimacy, my gun had increased in length, breadth and entire morphology. It had grown to 7.4 inches , with veins and the stallion was ready to conquer. I went inside Lo and behold I was swimming in the Atlantic, should I say the Pacific?

In all my life as a navy on bed, no opening between the feminine thighs had swallowed me but there I was drowning inside a pretty woman I thought was virtuous.

I don't intend to punish or put an end to the life of the man who had turned my cup of water to an ocean. I just want to meet with him and submit to him the medals I won from more than a hundred women who had confessed I was the best they came across and also advise him to take it easy so women don't get stitches after the gracious act.

Initially while I whimed through this piece I thought its Postmann adorned in a new cyber cloak.. until I had an epiphany and realised its just another poetic nigga ..I love the poetic tinge embedded in your write up

Lately women are poised to stray in same measure as the male counterparts..Thinking a woman will stay true to you can only exist in your fevered imagination, better wake up from such fuzzy dream

A loyal chick is like a Phoenix (simply non-existent), bitches steady dishing out pussy with no inhibitions.. once you toss 'em a dollar they go all mushy on you

The heavier your coins the easier they part their moist thighs like Moses.. Feelings no longer run deep, true love is now alien to them.. they are swayed and blinded by the foggy clouds of materialism

We are just engulfed in this illusion called love


Politics / Re: Tukur Buratai Leads Morning Exercise With Troops Ahead Of Tomorrow Election (pic by chrisley(m): 10:05pm On Feb 24
I warned you to give up this lost cause.. but you took no heed

You adorned an apparel of false bravado and kept mouthing off but you eventually got maimed badly.. yet seamlessly

You couldn't withstand the daze of his punch.. his lexical fluidity and delivery was ordinance cos it's a law we floss penmanship while cutting haters to size.. he took you aplomb n spilled your blood on this arena

You became intellectually spent and ran amok to Google.. you stole disses to hurl but you were caught n disgraced like a financial non-complaint ashawo patron.. your punches are uninspiring, mundane, and a grammatical bore

Your stupidity is quite startling.. you're shameless in no mean proportion.. you stole witout any feelings of remorse ..your mental regression has sunk beyond restitution

The whole concept of trolling is lost on you.. plagiarism has no place in the pen of a real warrior.. cos thats a deviation from tradition.. you swam against the tide

You have lost your candour
We hold no brief for dishonest criminals

A wise man once said "You never get great till You fall" A noble cat will rather loose honourably n learn from his overlords than rape Google to adorn a crown of false victory

You're a hell of a joke

Stupid cunt

1 Like 1 Share

Politics / Re: Tukur Buratai Leads Morning Exercise With Troops Ahead Of Tomorrow Election (pic by chrisley(m): 5:52pm On Feb 24
Christley, postmann, see the thoughtless, unashamed plonker posing as a warlord but exposed as a petty Google thief and a tactless plagiarist grin grin grin

Nairaland is just where their dreams take flight. Little wonder he admitted to reacting to every mention!

What a pathetic sod of a loser I have been wasting time with.


"Didn't we say class recognise class?
And no matter how anonymous the Internet gets people, nit-wits and low-bred nimrods would still cling unto their costume of ignobility. Can a man who lacks shame have any virtue left? When do caught-out thieves ever raised their haughty eyes to look at their superiors?

A man may steal when he's dying of hunger and be forgiven. But an intellectual thief is a step backwards from human cognitive progress and ethical integrity.

Why then must you exchange correspondence (of any kind) with such existence, embodied in a decomposing clay of worthlessness?

The records shouldn't hold such dents against you.

The Internet can give low lives and nit wits an opportunity of admittance into the auditorium of great scholars, but it will not hide their manuscripts of poor mental acceleration and intelectual incompatibility."

Postmann, 2016.

1 Like 1 Share

Politics / Re: Tukur Buratai Leads Morning Exercise With Troops Ahead Of Tomorrow Election (pic by chrisley(m): 2:44pm On Feb 23
Someone is about to get murked
Sailing on the sea of turbulent waters
Bound to capsize witout a debris afloat
Like a raging bull he crush fools with ease
Many have met their doom by his claws
Wit a firm grip he leave his foes breathlezz
Dare to square up? Instant death thy fate
Postmann still lurking in the shadows

1 Like 1 Share

Poems For Review / Re: To My Lover! by chrisley(m): 7:18pm On Feb 19

grin grin grin

Nothing is beyond the reach of a determined heart.

I dont relent on interest

Ishi is mine.. it's only a matter of time grin
Poems For Review / Re: To My Lover! by chrisley(m): 6:40pm On Feb 19
Cassandra my pretty lass
Thought what we had would last
Cheated on me with a cute lad
Relieved me of every dime I had
Stuck in a stormy sea of heartbreak
Cardiac seism/my heart quakes

It was a romantic pillage
Piercing spasm of pain
Pangs of poignant emotions
Hit the bar drunk like a skunk

My life sinking in a quicksand of despair
Feelins of resentment lurk on a nigga mind
Gat me spillin my mind in poetry like postmann
Love is like heaven but it can hurt like hell

But I ain't giving up on love just yet
Luther Vandross words still resonates
"there's nothing better than love"
Still gonna try my luck with Ishilove

Hehehe fictitious tho
Silly me

4 Likes 2 Shares

Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Thread For those Invited for 2019 INEC Adhoc Staff by chrisley(m): 9:43pm On Feb 01
this is for student and federal staff?

Some random shiit bro, for all and sundry.. even peeps that didn't register came for training.. and another list was drawn

A paper quiz would be done 2moa and one's performance is the major determinant for final shortlisting

Rev up and try your luck
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Thread For those Invited for 2019 INEC Adhoc Staff by chrisley(m): 7:03pm On Feb 01
Does anyone have info about Ikeja/ojodu LGA, where to go check the list, as I didn't get the text invite, don't even know if they have started the training already, someone should pls help.

Training has kicked off today already.. continues 2moa 9am

Venue: Ikeja high school at Ikeja GRA after high court
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Thread For those Invited for 2019 INEC Adhoc Staff by chrisley(m): 12:46pm On Jan 31

Inec Office is located in Ikeja Local government Secretariat on Awolowo Way Ikeja. Am going to their office today too, have not received any text message oo

Sup bro?

I did apply online for Ikeja ward but they dint mail nor text no one afterwards.. I even heard they hold no brief for online applications.. that those who did manual application have an edge

I need some discussions with you

Hit me on watsapp pls
Politics / Re: 2019 Election: Vice Presidential Debate (Live Updates) by chrisley(m): 7:49am On Dec 14, 2018
Nice one Tinsel.. I'm glad our reasoning align.. I respect my kind


Dont call him Aturu (sheep.). he raised a valid point.. Where do we fall back to in case he wins this election. Dont you think we always play a bad politics by putting all our eggs in one basket. If Atiku fails what moral justification will we have to restart the Biafran campaign again?

Aturu, the topic is not about Igbos but a debate, dummy!
It's funny how you people worry about Igbos more than your immediate family problems


Dyslexic psycho... maybe the thread is about chibok girls since you inferred I shouldnt have written about election

Otu nne gi dia.. Anuofia

Politics / Re: 2019 Election: Vice Presidential Debate (Live Updates) by chrisley(m): 3:38am On Dec 14, 2018
Funny how Igbos have been swayed by the Atiku/Obi slot and loosing focus on their initial clamour for Biafra or referendum.. Everyone is unduly optimistic of Atikus victory at the polls.. No one is looking at it from other dimensions.. No one remembers the power of an incumbent president

So what happens if Atiku doesnt win? The Igbos will fall back to their Biafran cause? Isn't that laughable ?

Buhari is core military man adorned in the cloak of a civilian.. he still has that military inclinations , Buhari is a despot he might use brute to remain on the saddle.. same shit played out few months back in Osun when PDP won and it was overturned.. till date no one said a damn thing

Should Igbos heed Nnamdi Kanu's stance on voters apathy in the east and stand our ground for Biafra or referendum? Or should we keep our fingers crossed and root for Atiku/Obi....
Igbos are seemingly enmeshed in this quagmire of political indecision

Can Inec be trusted? Will our votes count?

What happend in Osun is a pointer that our Inec is compromised

There should be a "pact" for power to be rotated cos even if Buhari rigs the election and holds on to power neither Hausas nor yorubas would protest cos its still favourable to them.. and Igbos are back to square one

Sometimes I feel Igbos are destined to be politically irrelavant

67 Likes 5 Shares

Literature / Re: The Village,nairaland by chrisley(m): 4:09pm On Nov 23, 2018
Presence,he also thot of Fucksterisback,d one who dragged im into d line of robbery years ago,dere was a tym he asked im to go steal frm Chrisley and Just2day so he can prove imsef.He didnt just prove imsef,he killed dem both.Fucksterisback was so impressed dat he immediately took im to meet Lalasticlala,dier boss.Later,Lalasticlala was to ask im to kill fucksterisback becus he was actin suspicious.
He stood,stretched his hand outwide for his machete to meet d blzin sun.It was shiny,suitable for killin not farmwork.He turned arnd and entered d raffia hut he built in a shabby way to just house dem untill d job was done.Inside,Mannabbqgrills was busy listenin to d ever talkin fool.

SARRKI:It is tym to die,fool,no more talkin and pleadin

He jacked NwaAmaikpe up frm his feet and was tryin to shove him outsyd,wen he received a push frm behind,who cud dat be?,who else oda dan his close frnd,Mannabbqgrills

Mannabbqgrills:Let im go,we are talkin abt Tamarapretty,he is closer to her sista Rosay15

Sarrki:Hw dare u?

Shreder nice concept you've got.. It takes a seasoned nairalander to be able to come up with this

I'm still wondering why you portrayed NwaAmaikpe and Mannabbqgrills as buddies in your setting.. quite ironic I must say

But your tale won't be complete without infusing popular nairalanders like naptu2 and tonyebarcanista in the plot

Your concept is lit.. keep the flame


1 Like

Celebrities / Re: The Face Behind The Nwaamaikpe Profile by chrisley(m): 10:49pm On Nov 19, 2018
NwaAmaikpe is actually a good looking young man. If you knew him outside Nairaland, you won't believe he is the same trouble maker dropping bomb-like comments.

I might not agree with his opinions all the time, but I respect him because he is very intelligent, and he drops his comments and exits a thread without getting into confrontations with fellow nairalanders no matter the insult he gets.

The main reason he doesn't clap back is to forestall caustic verbal engagement that could result to a ban .. his seemingly carefree demeanour on nairaland is but a ruse

He hits back at trolls on twitter.. so don't get it twisted Miss


Events / Re: Happy Born Day, Naptu2! by chrisley(m): 5:49pm On Oct 14, 2018
Jeez, I feel like slapping myself. I actually thought it was tomorrow, Monday. embarassed

You, young man, were the very first person to wish me a happy birthday privately, but now it is your day and I have forgotten?? How can this be? embarassed cry

I have loved you for long that I don't know how it feels not to love you. You are one of my best friends and closest confidants, and even though I can be very annoying sometimes, you never fail to hammer me with the truth. The last time we argued I told you to "free me" because I was tired of the blows of truth you were giving me. grin

Happy birthday, my handsome, insanely intelligent darling, friend, tutor and big brother. God bless, prosper and keep you for us because you are blessing to the world.

I love you, naptu2, now and always.

Happy birthday Naptu2

Your dairy is like a citadel of history.. I must commend your insight on that turf

Much respect naptu2 and jakumo.. reading your posts is like sipping from the fountain of knowledge

Ishilove.. every Nairalander is eager to meet NwaAmaikpe. . Yet you are the only lady that has won NwaAmaikpe's heart on this forum.. he has said severally that his dying to meet you.. So am I cheesy

1 Like 1 Share

Celebrities / Re: Diddy Lists "Fela Kuti" Name Among The People That Inspired Him (see List) by chrisley(m): 7:16am On Sep 23, 2018
Even after his death he is still revered, that shows you the extent of his impact on many. Fela was an inspiration to all, he was the voice of the voiceless, an activist, a man that believed in justice and fairness. He spoke about the many ills of the society, and against the government, something this generation of musicians will never attempt to do. Rather, what they sing these days are about women, drugs, money and non-existent fame.

Gone are the days when musicians sang against the government, gone are the days when musicians stood up for what was right, gone are the days when musicians addressed the very problems of the society, gone are the days when music had meaning. We can only hope it doesn't get worse. I wish we had people like Fela in this generation, people whose songs are laced with deep meaning that resonates through the soul, people with words that soothe the soul and pacify the spirit. Shout out to lovers of good music, and all lovers of freedom and justice.

Back then music wasnt that remunerative, people sang cos of passion and love for it

Lately what we have is mostly hunger-induced musicians who should be sued for lyrical negligence.. their albums embedded with just one hit track and the rest songs void of substance

Tuface, Asa and Jesse Jagz still keeps it real tho


Nairaland / General / Re: How I Would Have Turned 50k To 3.9million by chrisley(m): 10:12am On Sep 06, 2018

How I would have turned 50,000 naira into 3,981,312 naira

- September 02, 2018

Making money in a legit way now is either that it is too stressful or takes a long time, well the way I'm about to show is the latter.

Alright, the only way I know of making money legitimately online with just 15 minutes of your time daily is through forex trading. You might have heard of forex trading if you haven't you can learn about it here. I started learning and partially trading forex in 2015, I have read lots of books on forex trading, i have read several sites, learnt lots of strategies and I have had my winnings and losses. Over these few years I was able to adjust my trading style to be as consistent and profitable as it is right now.

I could have turned my 50k naira into 3.9 million if I have started trading in 2013, yes it would take me 5 years to make 3.9million(could be more) from 50k naira. That's a very long time Right? Hold up, before you go. Are you a 100% sure you will have up to 3 million in your account in 5 years if yes, why not add another?� There is no fast way to getting money unless you are lucky or what you are doing is wrong. I'm not here to criticize anybody but the main thing wrong with most people especially Nigerians is lack of planning.

Most Nigerians are just surviving and hoping for that "break-through" to happen. YES it might happen, the breakthrough might happen, it happened for "that guy" or "that girl" why not you? now compare the number of people that have had that breakthrough to the number of people that haven't had their breakthrough, that's like 1 in 1000 people or even more, YES our God is strong, if God sees those people that go to church on monday, Wednesday, saturday and sunday, those people that worship him more than you do and he still has a reason to leave them that way, Okay you might have more grace than they have, what if you don't? There is no way to know! God is up there, I believe too. But I'm not going to wait for a "may-happen" breakthrough instead I'm going to work towards a "will-happen" break through by his grace of course. Most Nigerians pray for to God for a plan that will work instead of praying for their plan to work, most Nigerians spend years trying to make fast money and refuse grow the little they have to a lot in a about 5 years . They say things like "my mates are making that in one month" they fail to understand that the whole world started with just two people, they fail to understand that the biggest trees, buildings, men, everything! didn't become like that in one week or one month or even a year. They fail to understand the biggest forces of nature like earthquakes, hurricanes to mention a few, start as a small force before they generate over time to a very big force. If nature has to wait that long, why can't you?


I know most of us are already busy with school and work, that's why forex works just fine because All you need is 15minutes of your time daily, a very simple strategy and SELF-DISCIPLINE, that's all!

I know now the question on your mind is "how sure is this forex??"

Nothing is a 100% sure, of course

But I can guarantee you that my forex strategy has never even broken-even in a year since the 90's. The worst scenario is about 100% return on investment

Yes, I have taken my time to analyse and test my strategy on every year since the 90's till now.

I will show the results and my strategy on my next blog.

Come on! I will analysing every trade I take and also telling you when and why you should take a trade. That means you get free signals

Let's trade together

Passive income rocks

I underwent two weeks training with Eagle Global Market (EGM) at Ikeja a month ago.. We were enlightened on pips and candlesticks, uptrend and downtrend, time zone and suchlikes

We demo traded and it was fruitful and the whole thing seemed viable and effortless.. Now they are pressing for us to fund our accounts and start live trading.. But I once heard a nairalander fussin that demo trading doesn't mirrow what obtains in live trading.. and that made me entertain fears and up till now I've not gone live

As a seasoned trader can you please educate me on the nuances between demo and live trading ?

Politics / Re: Buhari Prevailed On Me Not To Leave APC – Sen. Tejuoso by chrisley(m): 10:30am On Sep 05, 2018

oga stop deceiving yourself, buhari has no contenders or opponents that's just the fact, this man will win that remain the truth . I see him winning this election. take it or leave it

Dont be daft

You've been swayed by financial inducement.. the 30k Npower stipend you get has muzzled your conscience.. objectivity is now alien to you

Listen to people on the streets and feel their pulse and you'll realise that even a blind man sees how incompetent Buhari has been

I understand your inane stance.. I pray you find a better job
Politics / Re: Buhari Prevailed On Me Not To Leave APC – Sen. Tejuoso by chrisley(m): 6:42am On Sep 04, 2018
With the gross ineptitude of this present government and surge in deflections.. it would take a miracle for Buhari to retain the saddle after the election next year

If I were him I won't even nurse the idea of contesting

6 Likes 4 Shares

Politics / Re: Nigerian Air Force Destroys BHTs Vehicles, Neutralizes Several at Zari, Borno. by chrisley(m): 10:47am On Sep 02, 2018
The Nigerian military is unfortunately adopting a passive tactic in their fight against BH. Most of their responses are retaliatory in nature. BH creeps and attacks them before they scramble a response. Without aggressive aerial reconnaissance and purposeful interdiction, this war will go on for a very long time.

Or maybe that's the plan; in every war, there is someone profiting. The military industrial complex must find means to justify its budget.

Buhari has been apathetic on bringing BH to a halt.. but was quick to pounce on innocuous IPOB who only clamoured for independence.. this shows that Buhari is still living in his military past and has the might to go drastic on BH

This boko scourge has a political hue.. its is a subtle ploy to aid fulanis encroach and confiscate more lands and ultimately garner more dominance in Nigeria

You don't expect Buhari to act on it when his people are potential beneficiaries of this menace.. this is sentiment at play

His days are numbers tho.. unless our votes won't count

1 Like

Business / Re: Mini Importation: Run Fast With These Products [ Pictures] by chrisley(m): 10:17am On Aug 12, 2018
Nice thread

A friend of mine mailed me modules on mini importation few days back will share it to the group

I heard Aliexpress.com rocks.. I'll give it a shot


Vary your hussle


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