₦airaland Forum

A man goes to his doctor and says, ''Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem.'' The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area. ''It's all cleared up!'' the man reports when he returns. ''But what was that medication you gave me?'' ''Lipstick remover.''

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"When the waiter came by, Al said, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen. He quickly returned and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"

sweet young thing in a mini-skirt arrived & was ushered through. D cardinal was a bit upset about this & demanded an explanation from St. Peter. After all, dey had been waiting outside for quite some time & were pillars of the church. How could a girl in a mini-skirt deserve better treatment? St. Peter smiled & told him: "While she was alive, dat young lady drove a little yellow sports car, regularly jumped red lights, overtook on blind corners, & generally scared the devil out of more people than all of u combined.

No Yahoo offlines?

Tanks UZzy

Meanerwhiler, this is supposed to be Shout Outs not YELL outs, what am i seeing here (covers his eardrums)

Oh when the saints, go marching in > lah lah lah la la la la
O Lord I want to be in their Shout Outs > la la la la la la la la

See fine boy, if he asks nairaland girls out, i don't know how many will say noooo,
Only a poor man is Ugly Jare.

You know, this online profile of a thing is somehow, I don't know the kinda impression most people have about me but i can't even say hi in real life (Nega ask mi, ama SNUB), but here, i try to liven up.

I'm yet to see it on soccernet that he has signed for chelsea, and why 3 years for a youth player?

IMOO,
Chelsea only need Mikel for the reserves or the first few games in the Carling Cup. For all I know, Robben is playing because he has pace, Chelsea have a flair for players above 24, 25, preferably 30 (Yes, in the midfield, Makelele, Ballack and Shevy Young Boy too). Babies don't play regularly in chelsea. Mikel can hold the ball but is not good defensively (and you need that to survive in chelsea man) I've seen SWF (running engine) fighting for the ball even in defense at times (dat's his job anyway, tho far from his job description).
Mikel should go to Wigan, or Bolton where his services are EXTREMELY NEEDED. Liverpool have Alonso and Everton, Arteta. Arsenal are comfortable with Fabregas, Man-U are lacking (or slacking), Boro are cool with Gaizka, and Jose's 4-5-1, hmmn let's see:

Cech
Gallas Carvalho Terry Carlos R.
J.Cole Lampard Makelele Ballack Robben
Shevy

Backline: Cudiccini (and this new Goalkeeper, whats is name?)
Ferreira Del Horno G.Johnson
Essien Duff Mikel Gudjonsen SWF
Kalou Drogba Crespo (is C.Cole out yet?)

Others, i dunno o, maybe Carling Cup sha.

Welcome Mikel (Buy a nappie (pampers o) or diapers, yes so your arse won't wear out on d bench) unless Ballack has Malaria, and Lampard is injured (e possible, dat one don sign man, no one has played more premiership games than d babalawo in the last 5 seasons, e no dey injure?) or J.Cole is pregnant or Robben is Home Sick.

But I believe he will play at least one game, impress, if possible score, but his lack of pace gives me a lot of worry. I'm being patriotic and optimistic that Mikel will impress and hopefully, Boro will make a worthy bid for him

@ Rhod, Hit me when u online ok?

Chelsea need to learn from Real Madrid. They were buying all the big names, even when the going was very good for them, what do they have to show for it now (income, more money, no silverware). From Beckham to Ronaldo to Robinho to Baptista and Casano, let them buy Henry sef (na beans?) still no silverware.

Mourinho was lucky to have hit form early this season if not u know every now and that was the only cup he won, what if he had slipped, and next season is not an automatic guarantee that he will win outrightly. If he fails to win anything next season, and the following, they have only justified the fact that money can't buy champions (unless they fix matches sha)

They'll only end up like Real, and don't be surprised to see a team like Boro, or Everton or even Reading upstaging them next season (think of Valencia and Sevilla, man - look at those who gave up) and don't tell me next season, they won't be looking for another set of strikers? (crespo -> drogba -> Shev -> SHERRINGHAM )

Hmnn, Nice leadership qualities man,
My heart goes to you

Osanobua No way


Tpbm is thirsty

Did i almost lose my head when I heard Rhod was banned?

Poured ma heart out in bed last night

biodun404:
wow the video clip is so hot.i can't believe a lady can shake her hips like that.and the way she was moving her chest, DAMN

U just seeing it Or u reserved your comments all along

Shout out to Bolex/Blue, Rhod, 2Can & Eve, Nike n Hotty & Spike & all o ya keeping it live and real here

Thanks Spike, I feel you!

Haha busta rhymes is finer than this guy man

where d pix @

i quite disagree Lasun, Real Madrid, since 2003 have won nothing, look at how many coaches have coached them, but look at what Benitez did with Liverpool. Organization matters a lot in a team, some teams just need someone to put them together, look at bulgaria in 1994, Croatia in 1998 and South Korea and Turkey in 2004, so you see man.

Sorry for the mismatch, Porto trashed Man-U in mourinho's time and then, benfica where just a bunch of nuts (at least Porto did the double) then benfica trashed the defending champions (and for them to have lost out to porto the previous year) that says a lot about porto and both are the biggest clubs in Portugal. So a coach without monetary and talent back up is just there. Wigan put up a nice challenge in the first half of the season, if only they could get two or three talents, they could have gone veeeryy far, coz they were in second position for about 7 weeks.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? hehehe, Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Oops, Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker.If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why is it called building when it is already built? If a book about failures sells, is it a success ? If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? Ponder on this and more,

I can break someone's neck right now.


Tpbm is scared

what happened in here, where are my shout outs?

Bolex

u r da man. It's like coaching Brazil and winning the world cup, come and coach Angola now, and people talk about Porto as if they are not a team, remember they trashed liverpool o (without mourinho).

I'm drifting away slowly, and you'll begin to notice that.

Monkey e no fine but im mama e like am.

Ma mirror likes me and isn't comlaining but i can read his face cos when i pick him up then it cracks and i see drops of water (not like am combing ma hair or d roof's leaking)

MODUPE! I need your help (Scholarship face lift sha, not extreme make over)

Rhodalyn:
awwwww U saddd person

I need a face lift so my mirror can be happy, whatcha think

AND THANK GOD 2CAN IS BACK!

My heart goes to you guyz all o ya.

I need an explanation, GADDEMIT, was this included in the EULA, i gotta go read it up again