₦airaland Forum

Santi222:
Lovely writing.

thanks G

Episode 8

i was still contemplating on the colour of the rope to commit suicide when i finally decided to go to one of my friend side who we have since quarelled and seek for his forgiveness.

Even if na 2 cups of garri and rice make i manage am take survive......


I wore my garment of humility and set for his house about an hour journey from my home .... I wore my goodluck toms and set for his house with my own legs sweating profusely under the sun.

The last five naira on me i could not even use it to buy water as sachet of pure water is now 10 naira...

Finally, i got there and Unfortunately for me, he was not at home...,

haa, the devil is a liar.... today na today, if i no see this guy i no go go house...

30 mins, 1 hour pass...my guy never come and i no get him number.. Even if number dey. Credit to call no dey...even mtn customer care don call me to repay my debts or they will blacklist my sim... Me i just ignore them... Blacklist nkor, reddington ni....

I was still there waiting when the aroma of a nearby cooking red beans penetrated into my nostrils.

My stomach was already singing tonto dikeh and vic O songs and i could not take it anylonger...

I tried to see the face of the person cooking the tasty food and lo and an behold it was a guy....

But the way the guy bone him face take dey cook the food, dey carry salt and pepper put inside the food with strong face, approaching him to please help me with some of the delicacy might be a wrong decision to make....

Okaakoko:
Oga mi 1, I dey o. just that people no dey smile anyhow now.

smile don scarce 4 town

Other stories on my profile.. Pls do read

How 2go relationship landed me in psychiatric home

https://www.nairaland.com/2645445/how-2go-relationship-landed-me

How A girl visit to my room changed my life

https://www.nairaland.com/2665664/how-girl-visit-room-changed

Episode 7


Better friends i no get.... I was even better than most of them sef... These ones into yahoo yahoo, Pushing of Shh shh ( u already know naw) and other acts of lucifer told me that the era is not one to be dashing free money anyhow and if i need money., i had to join them.

Haha, ki la gbe ki le ju...... My feeling was not with such acts so i declined...

I tried my hands on betting with the small money i was getting and i specialised in Aja sanre (dog race) bet and Nigeria premier league but it was a disaster back to back.. The highest i won ever was 750 naira.... Even the bet numbers i collected from isaku, the mad man failed to work for me , twice despite working for many people earning them a lot of money...

I tried to join labourers in carrying blocks at sites on saturdays... After doing it twice, i had to run for my life as alomo and ogidiga plus robb could not cure the back pain and suffering i experienced after those days.... The fact that i couldnt attend lectures after those days and All that work for a meagre 1200 naira discouraged me..

And here i was , debts upon debts... Iya kunle provisions has warned me not to come to her shop again untill i pay her money and iya Suliat raw food and stock fish shop almost poured water on me and insulted me in front of suliat who i wanted to parol the last time i visited them.

No babe i could call to help me as i has seperated with my pretty nkechi in the interest of buha and the nation....

And now hunger they wire me so ...hunger dey deal with me and wan turn my wande coal body to 9ice.

I was already looking for rope and a nearby banana tree to commit suicide when an incident triggered my first ever pot stealing
....

Epidode 6

In my hostel everyone was complaining.. The girls with boyfriends left our hostel and moved in with boyfriend in order to augment the situation..

The only person that seemed buoyant in these echoes of hard times is an ugly girl in the opposite flat but we were not on talking terms..

She was always eating fruits like orange, pineapple, apple and especially cherished banana a lot... .

The aroma from her room was always smelling stock fish,. Egusi sometimes ponmo and cow beef aroma will escape and start causing thoughts to my brain but i could not make a move to ask her for food because since the day she begged me with tears in her eyes and stark naked in my room to fuvk her and i wore her clothes on her and stated that i was not interested despite all all touching , romancing , holding my thing and rubbing against me stark naked, she has hated me passionately....

I just couldnt bring myself to commiting the act of reproduction will her and i had to send her off from my presence...

Begone" i said to her...

She started keeping malice with me and i no send am but these aroma coming from her side this days ehn... And no doubt she was a good cook.
.

Wetin i go con do now God....

Episode 5


My Papa would Complain Bitterly that all the small small , kuru kuru they rake in from here and there as been blocked as everyone is afraid of being caught... The bosses that do give Egunje to them once in a while never eat belleful not to talk of giving nada to anyone.... ;(

Papa collect loan , collect loan sotey he tire :x ... Even the treasurer of his coperative society was hit by wave and absconded with coperative money up to a million naira..... I remembered two of the members fainted that fateful day and papa had to be admitted for seven days in mama chukwu the nurse house...


...

If i call house, papa go vex talk to me.,.., i call mama., na so so cry cry, and make i dey fire prayer and e go better talk she go dey yarn..

... Na me be first born followed by 5 other siblings so no uncle or aunty to even run to..

All the people that i use to set time to go visit for when them go don cook finish started to give me signals.. Sometimes i will see their shoes outside and the roomate will say they have gone out,.... Some started saving cold yesterday food for me knowing i will arrive soon and some even told me point blank to stop coming to their house...

Episode 4

I never sabi say na trailer wan jam me and my family so ......


One month, two months, three months, baba was still travelling around the world iyayaYAYA ....baba now joined the ajala travel gang... Jackie chan 90 days around the world

Sharp baba, baba is making international connections .. i would say......

By this time wey i dey talk all this one and still showing small small support , i don dey use ponmo chop my stew and garri was steady becoming my favourite “appetizer”.. i started hiding my indomie cartons in my wardrobe with padlock.... i don start to dey go greet people for evening when i sabi say food go don dey near to do..

i know sabi say na poverty and hunger contract i dey sign small small.

Papa works in the local government and mama is a primary school teacher .... it was not untill february of this year before i knew that i have entered one chance and that really, Kosere ni moscow.... By this period, buha daura cows were getting fatter than i was......

Papa that was sending 50k monthly couldn't send up to 10k again.. ... All my tactics to defraud him about textbooks and the rest no enter again as he started making private investigations about my course outline from lecturers....

daddy, daddy i need this book in school. 5000 naira sir..

within the next 10 mins , my Dad would call back and inform me he has confirmed from the lecturer that the book is not in the curriculum.. how he did this i never know till date... i now became very close ally with google and e book stuffs as kudi no dey to buy any yeye textbook again.

My MUM that was usually the last resort has not received her salary for 6 months.

Even my elder brother ( not blood brother ) who claim in was into yahoo yahoo and used to help me if land dry that time was telling me that the change wave as hit his business .. yahoo no yahoo anything for am again... .

Episode 3

I used buha as my screensaver and i was always on every thread on nairaland shouting Sai baba sai baba like a zombie.

All this while shingba 5kobo no enter my account ,,,, but i was just being patriotic ,,,, ..

This issue of Change caused me and some people to go seperate ways... The issue of buha no buha is why me and my pretty girlfriend, nneka seperated and i sent her packing from my hostel...she was not going to support buhari and i wasnt going to take that....

Even though i loved her, my love for buhari was greater and more important..

On election day , i was there from morning till 11pm when all the votes were counted in my presence and I almost died of hypertension from prof jega constant break during compilation of the results..

Finally, finally we got the change and i was very eggcited... I threw a celebration party that made me drop 25k... But it was small money to me at the time.

I went to give testimony in church and donated five thousand naira which i pledged that if buhari win , i will drop.

I went to open a new bank account where i will be collecting the new 5k the government promised the youths and started pricing some items online in respect of the one dollar one naira policy...

...... Shior....

Episode 2..

Many might have come across this post

https://www.nairaland.com/3191395/theft-cooked-food-fire-ilorin,

it may be right to say that myself and Atele were the chief pioneers of this act.


Before the election, i was a Strong advocate of Change.... I could virtually die for buha at that time....

Na change we Want... Na Change we want... Early momo, i gon don wake up dey blast Olamide Apc change and all other campaign Jingles from my speaker.

I removed the chealsea banner in my room and i put Adc campaign posters for there, Buha gap tooth smiling elegantly at my face before i go to bed.. Every morning after prayers, i do peck his picture..

Sometimes, i do wake up in the middle of night to pray for buha and his change agenda sometimes stark naked... Not to forget the mountain prayers with three days fasting in which i did not eat anything into my mouth......

All my books na hin i wrap with newspaper pages where buhari face dey and customied two of my shirts Change we want and ADc for progress...

Ase i was a fool and i didnt know

Please " please " please i beg you "

... This statement did not cease from my mouth as i kept receiving slaps and kicks from ladies and guys in the compound, the pot of hot white beans still balanced on my head..

It was not untill someone came and told them to collect the pot from me as it may fall as the beating get serious and that was the only food himself and 3 other neighbours dey share...

Hardly had he removed the pot, when another rain of slaps descended on me.... Two guys held my hand firmly as if their existence depended on it so there was no way i could run or even attempt to.. Before i could say johnbull, i was already on the floor.

All my cries of please. Hear me out fell on deaf ears as the punches and slaps continured... I could remember how Mummy chiomobi behaved vividly..

The quiet Mother of two is a primary school teacher in one of the government schools around... That day, i saw her unleashed the Undertaker and Lieukeng in her....

On sighting her, i was grateful to God that someone i knew was finally going to beg on my behalf .. I was shocked when she took a mop stick and started banging it on my head seriously...

The last thing i remembered was one of the guys going inside and coming back with a Pestle....



My name is boo osin and i was not always a thief that steals pots with food on fire... Everything has a beginning ......