₦airaland Forum

Tonia500:
Nice write up

thanks maam

Episode 20 ( The finale )


At this point, i knew there was no escape..... This was when the beating and kicks in Episode one started...

Everything i was trying to explain fell on deaf ears, The last thing i remember was daddy tina coming towards me with pestle.


,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

i woke up after a three days coma
in the hospital.... According to stories i was told, i was brought to the hospital after i stopped breathing and they thought i was dead....

It was mummy chiomobi that insisted i be treated as every other person left me for dead...

My parents were called in...... My father refused to show up blaming it on transport fares as only my mama showed up....

That day, despite my sick nature, i heard the history of my birth and thousands of advices from my mama who caused a scene with her tears....

All my attempt to rope in Atele failed as the police claim there was no evidence and he left scot free,,,

the shame was so too much in school even tho i managed to escape expulsion due to the pleas of my mother.....

My Father disowned me and warned me never to step in his house again and claimed i must be a bastard... This almost caused a divorce btw my papa and mama.

All in all, i dropped out of school in the 2nd year, and left with no option as i could not return home , i travelled to the big bros aka Kasadim the Money house in the next city.... Kasadim was that my elder brother who was into yahoo yahoo and there with him... I started a new chapter of yahoo and drugs...


Which brought more dire consequences than i could ever bargain for....

As an adage says. Dog wey go lost no go kuku Hear Hunter Whistle..

THE END....

Written By classcaptain

Episode finale in a bit

Episode 19

At this point , i had no other choice than to push the little girl to the floor as i made way for the door only for me to Meet the supposed uncle tolu at the door...

Tina ,. Are you alright....he stated looking at me, battle ready...

I turned back to try and run only to meet the man with the husky voice who happens to be tina father....

Were you trying to molest my daughter ' he said in the coldest manner any human has ever spoken to me....

No no... I said already shaking...

So you are one of those paedophiles molesting our children.... We have caught you today " the man stated again as he started knocking on other tenants door to open up....

Daddy he was stealing mummy kehinde food " the devil incarnate of the girl stated..

No, i bought the food , i bought...

Uncle tolu, do you know him ... The girl asked


No , i have never seen him before .....

Haah, tolu tolu.....

But all my attempt to resort to defence fell on its back immediately the woman who owns the food returned....

"where is my pot of beans " she stated as she dropped the detergent and other things she brought in...

At this moment, i now know say I don Bleep up..

No escape...

wristbangle:
Classcaptain story fit make person pee 4 pant continuously. ride on bro

oga mi wristbangle.... How the change wave they go for your side ?

you still get time dey wear bangle for wrist

uczay:
Gbege don happen, kasala don burst for U! Classcaptain surely is the bum. I'm just imagining how real this ya storyline is. U know U can actually go places with ya writeups. Don't let it end here in NL.

thanks uczay...

You can get this exclusive new story Awuff dey bust belle here

www.okadabooks.com/book/about/awuff_dey_bust_belle/10506

just 100 naira... Bless

queenfav:
seriously @classcaptain,you can rival many overrated A-list comedians in Nigeria.As warri babe e no easy to make me laugh o,but your story got me laughing really hard this early morning..Please keep it up and don't let this talent just end on Nairaland,u can make serious money from it.Oya come and complete this thing o..

thank you learned colleague...

You can check out the exclusive new story of mine here

http://www.okadabooks.com/book/about/awuff_dey_bust_belle/10506..

Thanks

Episode 18

After cracking some jokes about how five naira could not buy anything again and some other irrevelant stuffs, i noticed that the women were already friendly with me....

While they were still laughing, i sneaked to the back and quickly removed my cooler....

Haha , Obe So !!

I looked left and Right and quickly poured the beans into the cooler but i left like three spoons of beans in the pot for the woman so it will not be like someone is wicked....

I placed it back gently and wiped the back of the pot where the beans spilled on..

I muttered a silent prayer for the succesful mission and headed towards the backdoor...


Only for the little girl i met earlier to come and corner me at the back......

Uncle Tolu is back ........ She shouted...

Haaa, My God..i knew i was in trouble when she stated this as i did not know the so called tolu neither does he know me..

"tell him am coming back, lemme go and buy food first eh "

with that, i hurried forward with the hope of getting away from there and never coming back...

Uncle where are you going..

I said am coming back.... I said angrily as i made attempt to push her off my way...

" But I saw you pouring mummy kehinde beans inside .....your cooler.."


tina what is happening there " ? ... I could hear a husky male voice question the girl from inside the house as urine trinkled down my 50 cents boxers...

omolola15:
ClassCaptain we are officially fighting. I told you to always inviting when you are about to start cracking ribs. I'm just seeing this now. And I dey vex for you big time.....

osquare88 come see something. I hope you are also not stealing pot of beans

oga mi, shey na y u no dey reply my whatsapp msg again...

There is God oooo......

I dey come ib for my chamber attachment.....make we link up naw....

Pm or whatsapp..

nelson20000:
I am here to give my testimony about a doctor who help me in my life. I was infected with HIV virus in the 2010,i went to many hospitals,churches for cure but there was no solution out, so I was thinking how can I get a solution out so that i cannot loose my life , I lost everything I have my husband run away from me and also took my children along because of my sickness. One day I was in the river side thinking the next step to take if it is to jump into the river so that I can loose my life totally or just think where I can go to get solution. [b] so a lady walk to me telling me why am I so sad and i open up all to him telling her my stories, she told me that she can help me out that’s the reason she normally come here to help people [b ]so that thy can be cured because she was into this problem before, she introduce me to a doctor who cast spells on people and gave me he number and email so i called him and also email him. He told me all the things I need to provide and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening he called me and told me that i should go for an HIV test and which i did as he told me and the result was negative. so if you are also heart brokened and also need a help you can also email him at drofenmuabiodunsolutionhome@yahoo.com or call him on his cell phone number on +2347067482649...

Baba u dey throw am oo..


You were in the river side .....

So na every day the lady dey come river dey look for those wey go commit suicide

and this part really got me

"One day I was in the river side thinking the next step to take if it is to jump into the river so that I can loose my life totally "

like nigga, were u expecting to lose your life partially ?

Episode 17

As i was moving, various christian and islamic messages warning against evil doers blasted from various speakers across the streets but i turn a deaf ear.....

The first house i got to which i knew they would be Cooking by that time seemed to have beefed up security.....

I have not even entered the surronding when someone started asking who i was...

I had to leave........... The second and third house i do visit were cooking yam and rice and left it unguarded but it was beans i was targeting..

It was just like a spell.... All this while , the time was now around 1pm under hot sun....

I finally got to where my desired meal was being cooked and acquainted a little girl....

I quickly scoped her to tell me the name of any guy living in the building after i formed a name and said i was looking for the person...

Is it broda tolu.....

Yes tolu, is he around

no but he will soon be back,

ok, i will wait.....

I said as i started scanning for an escape route ... I greeted all the women in the compound and even cracked jokes with them while i watched as the beans was going to its last stage of preparation...

Immediately i noticed the food was done, the woman cooking it placed the food on the table outside and went to buy detergent which i presumed is to wash the plates...

On sighting this , i set to action

Episode 16

I hurriedly started to adjust a little bit...

Calm down boo, stay with me " she said as she held onto me.......

Stay with me nkor, HELLO NI....

WHAT if that was her boyfriend ? I was actually a lil bit scared and prayed i had not gotten myself in trouble...

Whos there " she asked as i started looking around for my clothes....

Aunty e, ruka ni.... Mummy lo fi ojeun ran mi... To te di le kun mo ori ( its your aunty ruka and your mummy sent me to give you food stuffs)....

Who is aunty ruka ...i whispered..
Its a long story.... Please help me drop it outside ma,,am busy

haa, she asked me to collect something from you too.... The voice outside replied..

What is that.....

Haha, open the door now, willl i be shouting everything outside here..

But my boyfriend is inside

ehn,, what does he have that av not seen... Please answer me.... The aunty replied harshly....

I quickly wore my shirts and trousers, unplugged my phone, carried my backo bag and set for leave...

Dont go now, we can continue wen she leaves... She begged me holding onto me....

Dont worry.... When am back ,we can continue..

Pls stay now ,,,

no , am coming back now.... I quickly kissed her with my eyes closed and promised her again that i will be back.....

Dont be long ooo.. She stated....

I opened the door to meet the supposed aunty who had swollen up with an obviously angry face outside,,, she was more of like an househelp tho.

I greeted her and even offered to help carry some of the foodstuffs inside but she replied coldly and waived it off....

Odabo ma...

E pele .,,, e ku se oo... E ku se kara kara.,... Hmmmnn .. She said with a big grin as she shook her hand.....

Who send monkey....

I hurriedly stepped out of the gate and set for the pot of beans....

Episode 15


Boo, boo why are you doing me like this ?

She stated as she started caressing me and fighting world war 3 with my belt.... This was around 9 am in the morning... What could make her so Hot so early....

I started having reservations about the cucumber she sliced on my jollof rice because i sha noticed the cucumber was greener and tasted more mature than a normal cucumber...

She planted a kiss on my lips as her extra extra soft boobs collided with my bony chest and sent a tingle down my brain and blood down " My down"....

I almost forgot about my mission today as the kissing got intense, i grabbed a copy of the benovelent water melon as i unhooked the bra like james bond and the jezebel in her sprang up...

I started seeing the afro candies in her .... Omo, last last na to use pillow cover the face....

I quickly connected my phone with aux cord to her speaker and started playing gospel music in order to reduce any noise that may be coming from her..

The song "igwe blasted from the speakers...

I didnt know that God was packaging my punishment...

Myself and this girl were on cloud 9 as i brought the pillow nearby to cover the face as i penetrated the passage of joy...

So last last, i go f this babe...

I was just about to start when Nathaniel bassey, someone knocking at the door played and we actually heard a knock at the door...

Episode 14

By this time, i don reconcile with my neighbour... Infact we were closer than before we fought... Food was no longer a probelm....

her sweet companionship made me to forget about the whole change shii in the country......


Food dey my fridge,,, drinks were not missing too but this particular saturday, na Beans dey do me chop....

I approached my neighbour and asked her for beans but she stated that the last one was cooked yesterday by she and her friends......

" and looked for you yesterday but you werent around. But i will get it for you , just wait a little till afternoon ".... She stated .


She hurriedly served me the jollof rice with 2 fried meats she cooked that morning which i ate and drank pepsi on top ....


But i was still not satisfied... I could not wait till afternoon when she would cook the beans... I needed the beans right away..

I finished the jollof, got my backo bag and cooler and returned her plate to her....

I told her i was going out and would soon be back but as if she knew what was going to happen , she held on to me and insisted i stay with her......

Despite my agitations to leave, she playfully still held onto me and while we were still struggling, light come....

" eh, have you forgotten about your test tomorrow" there is light now, let me give you my modem so you can go online and read with it..."

haha, before i look left, look right, this girl don push me for ontop bed.,...

Episode 13

This was how i continued in my flamboyant lifestyle... .... enjoying and flexing....

A week before i was caught, a young preacher had walked up to me and warned me to depart from any evil act i was doing...

I just ignored his supposed rants... Which evil i dey do ?

My house became a sort of holy land of food for boys..... With a good fridge nearby, food was never a probelm....

My test results were going fine.. I was on the verge of getting a new babe.... Everything was going smooth.....

Not untill this particular saturday.......

..j

Episode 12

i made sure i didnt steal raw food because which kerosene i go use cook am sef...

In the 2nd month of my booming enterprise, i introduced, Ategun, my neighbour who was eating far too much of the food i was bringing...

This is not time to be eating free food anyhow, and so ategun joined me and we became Batman and Robin...

News spread fast of our activities and people started becoming vigilants..

We rested one week in which we stole some drinks from iya suliat shop and resumed back in the pot stealing but making our activities more prominent concerning dinner food...

Everybody was complaining but we were getting fatter and fresher.Anybody ask us how we day do am,,, we go say na God.."

tho mama still dey struggle send money small small, it was really to no effect... Papa had even backed out totally and reports from home has it that gulder and trophy are now papa 5/6....

But here i was eating and living well.

Not knowing that the end is near.....

Episode 11

And this was how i started the full time ministry...

I scouted for houses that were mostly face me i face you and dose that cooked food in the open.,,, i also took cognizance of the inhabitants with special interest in those houses that had less males and more females, children or aged people...

I also made i did my business in areas far from my house. Sometimes i walk several kilometers away from home.....

Once i study the pattern of cooking, inhabitants and security...i strike...

Sometimes i go with the pot and food and most times, i pour it in the cooler...

I majored mostly in beans and rice with occasional visitations to yam and solid food...

I became the master and saviour to my neighbours who kept wondering how i was getting food to eat,,,they would just see me with cooler and know say " Food don land..

I told them i was buying the food from restaurants.... Most of my hostel mates now depended on me for dinner and i was happy to be a vessel and channel to bless me much to dismay of my ugly female neighbour opposite...

For a whole month, i kept on in this act , new locations everyday, new pots everyday. In short , i began the Anini of stealing food on fire and waged war on the land.....

Episode 10

I tried to imagine the kind of expression on the faces of the guys as i usain bolted through the passage and straight to my house.....

I immediately poured the food in a nearby cooler in the kitchen and locked myself inside where i sat down the manna from above and ate it with garri, my meal for the past 3 days...

Even the jehovah witnesses that brought the good news of christ didnt make me move an inch

And indeed, stolen bread is sweet...

By 10pm ,with my hand gloves on, i went to return the pot to a easily noticeable place around the house and wrote with my left hand, a two page apology letter giving reasons for my act..

I spent six hours the next day asking for forgiveness and explaining to God why i had to go for another mission of such...

i knew from henceforth, i was really into the business...

So i started full time.... And like a serious worker shld, i acquired my tools...

Gloves, two bagco sacks and my number one tool ,,.,.,,,,,,,,.,.,,,,,

a Big Food flask.....

Episode 9

i watched with hunger and grief as my guy added the ingrediets into the pot of beans.,.,, The kind hunger wey dey gbam me fit make me vote for donald trump....

I was fighting a battle with my consciousness as to how i will talk with this bros to help me with the food....

One voice was saying steal it and go while one was saying seek permission...What will jesus do in this situation ?

But ogbeni forget jare, the hunger wey dey gbab person now no dey during jesus era....

I was still unsure about what to do untill i saw this guy adding crayfish... Person wey dey add crayfish to beans this kind periods go surely gallant small.. God forgive me please....


I looked around left and right ....and took a step of faith, slightly removed the lid and tasted the food and oh my God........it tasted so good... Or na the hunger make the food sweet for my mouth..


I was still taking the 2nd taste when i heard voices in the house conversing about the food...

"ope, d beans don done ?
No, adio, e remain small ?
Tor, you sabi say na me, you, tolu, tola and jude dey chop am,. Make e no burn oo..

You don forget say duke and ahmed sef go chop, i go go check am now sha
..

Shior....


And here i was ,with a pot of beans that would hardly satisfy me on a normal day and about 8 people are conversing on eating it...

My initial plan was dropping the pot from fire and eating enough to fill me up and leave the rest for them but my plan had to change after i heard someone saying.... The beans suppose to done....

I noticed a black nylon on the floor and fia ,,,,,,,



I WAS GONE........