₦airaland Forum

Do you support holding men to women's standards also?

Mikollon1:
Don't mind them. They don't want equality. They want convenience. They want the right to do but not the responsibility for what they have done. They want the right to say but not the responsibility for what they have said. They want the right to have but not the responsibility to use what they have.

Women can do whatever men can do and I believe them. Honestly I believe them. That's why I hold them to male standards, so to speak. I don't do the "oh na woman na woman leave am" sh!t.

Assigning of kids from other men to a husband isn't actually a western thing like OP says happens in Sweden and co. Maybe theirs is even recent.

In Igbo culture a man is the automatic father of any child born 'under his roof' even if the wife was impregnated by another man.

He does a have a choice not to father the kid is he wants (it is not forced). but according to the culture, he has an upper hand or bigger claim to such a kid even if the biological father wants the child. So far the woman is not married to the other guy, the child is the husband's. And it was socially acceptable and still is.

Of course I don't support this as it is unfair to the biological dad in case he wants his child but I'm just stating that's what happens in igboland before some people will carry feminists in Britain on their head like pure water for sale.

I doubt any man who has questions about the paternity of his children won't know that there is something called paternity tests. And no one can stop him from doing that. At least not in Nigeria that I know.

I see no reason to deliberately encourage it even when the man isn't questioning it. That's over reaching into telling people how to live their lives.
Plus the discord it will sow in marriages.

A man who wakes up one morning to demand paternity test for his kids without cause (I.e wife was not cheating), even if he gets peace of mind that the kids are his finally, he will lose the peace in his home because he has shown his wife that her faithfulness was nothing.

You want to encourage that? Be my guest.

About the price, I'm for lowering it, if it is truly exaggerated like you say. It will benefit everyone not just the men.

Mikollon1:
A $1 item doesn't translate to N1500 normally. I know this as a fact. I don't want to say much about my being cosmopolitan so it won't be misconstrued for conceit.
If you go shop at posh places, fine. A 10k bottle of wine can be sold for 50k in some clubs.

You should keep in mind we are referring to GOVERNMENT HOSPITALS here.

Why shouldn't men and boys by encouraged (especially school boys) to be mindful of paternity fraud? If you have a son, won't you want him to have this knowledge?



By the way, if I want to buy a $50 item from the U.S., I may have to pay $80. The mark-up is always within that range to account for shipping, immigration n things. For bulk purchases, the overall difference reduces.
There's no way the mark-up will make the cost rise to $1000. Well unless it's some kind of special nuclear lunch code detector scanner remote control or some sh!t.

SAMBARRY:
Mrs woman come here o


you have to finish this film o.abi you nor wan see the ending

Lol. Kulyie hapu m aka.

Chillis:
these days na you and food.
Good thing you can still eat.
remember , healthy eating and exercises like brisk walking.
Like that you dont have plenty work to do after.

It's just peculiar things that I feel like anything.
Don't have much appetite for stuff around me now.

So now it's about 'helping' these kids?
It's no longer about using them to prevent married adult males from sleeping with their maids?

You're the one speaking unnecessary grammar. Suit yourself.

But what's bad is bad and child labor is one them.
If you can't hire adult maids, do your house work yourself. It's not like your home is a construction site that you and your wife can't manage by yourselves.

I'm done with this topic jare.

Toks2008:
Candy lets face it.

Its easy for us to sit in the comfort of our homes sipping wine and writing against child labor. If a parent comes to your house this moment and asks you for financial aid to take care of urgent needs will you have enough to give at least 10 of such? If yes i guess you should start an NGO and campaign against child labor as well as provide financial succor to these people.

An AIT staff just threatened suicide over hunger,salaries are been owed by many states and our ladies enslave themselves in order to get a job and you are here writing grammar about child labor.

You need to go to some families and see suffering in action so if a parent sees an option of sending their 15 to 17 year old girl child to be A HOUSE HELP to earn wages just like other jobs why write grammar here about child labor?

Its because we see the house maid thing as something low and disdainful that's why you see it as child labor so tell me which one is not labor?

I have met house maids that did the job to raise money for a specific purpose and i have sen a 17year old lady did this for a year and kept over 100k which she used to foster her education.

Please please enough of this grammar you are writing here. If you can't help them financially let them work and earna a living.

Amis:
Anyone know where all4naija is...it's been a while..

You miss him shey?

Yes it is unfair to deceive a man to father kids that aren't his.

While I won't argue won't you about France and Spain that I know nothing of, your theory about Nigeria is conspiracist to say the least.

Everything in NIGERIA is expensive.
Even the 1dollar bathing gels here sell for at least #1,500 back home if I remember correctly. It's the exploitation rampant in all sectors of the economy not a deliberate attempt to stop fathers from doing paternity tests.

@bold, You mean they should hold rallies and urge fathers to take their kids for paternity tests?

Without being told you don't feel it sounds funny? Get the random dude and sow doubt in his mind that his kids may not be his.
Oga talk another thing.

Good health care is still a mirage in NIGERIA and you're making it sound like lack of access to easy paternity tests is a conspiracy against men in particular. The health care sector is flat on it's stomach for now. If HIV testing and drugs wasn't subsidized by some well meaning people, the test kits would be outrageous too.

.

Mikollon1:
It's £20 not dollars.

You can do your research. I won't spoon-feed you.

There are test kits out there. They look similar to the lil white pregnancy kit or HIV kit.

In the UK, paternity test is outlawed unless the mom signs up for it. The dad as a parent does not have the right to test his child without the mom's approval.

In France, the test is outlawed entirely. The French government feels fatherhood is societal and motherhood is biological. In other words, the man doesn't have to be the father to be the father. He just has to be the one paying to be the father. They call this KEEPING THE PEACE.

The men get psychological tormented by this but can't import the test kit because Immigration will intercept it and they will be fined, jailed or both. So the men send the samples to Spain for the test. Even if the test is negative, they'll still be forced to be the "father", but the men don't mind. At least now they know. The men call the measure THE RIGHT TO KNOW.



The Nigerian government has jurisdiction over the Ministry of Health. The government is aware of the artificial cost of paternity test.

The Ministry of Information can also enlighten the public on the relevance of paternity test. Can't they?

$20 dollar paternity test huh?

OP where's your source?

P.S who told you the Nigerian government doesn't want men doing paternity tests?

Let's agree to disagree kulyie.


But pls if you know anyone whose done anything like what you typed there, pls call the cops on them immediately. That one pass exploitation.
It's downright evil beyond words.

SAMBARRY:
it is exploitation when you exchange kids to use to settle their parents debts and then turn the child into a slave
it is when you don't treat the child well and pay for his services. My mom had a house help who agreed to stay with us when we were young but she didn't dehumanise her . The parents often come to check on her to see whether ory not my mom was treating her well

another form of child exploitation is deceiving children with the knowledge of the parents and then you carry them into lagos and force them into prostitution. You put them in a small room, lock the door and be collecting money from men before you allow them sleep with 10year olds and then use the money to raise your own kids. Those are what I know as child exploitation IN MY OWN DICTIONARY.

Why should a child that is not yours come and live with you? For what. If he comes he will wash pots taya and his parents might not be aware. His hosts are likely to abuse him.

But that's the thing.

Can a minor legally give consent?

You think if their parents want to send them and they don't want to go, they have a will to say no to the parents and they will do as they say. They will mostly agree to whatever their parents say regardless of how they feel about it. That's why a child's consent is void. They mostly give consent even if they don't want to because an influential adult in their life is asking something of them.


And what kind of chores will a minor do that's supposed to relieve the household of stress anyway?
Cook? Na thirteen yr old wan cook the delicious meals to feed the whole family? I wonder how it will taste. Or do all the laundry? I couldn't even do that myself I won't lie. Much less a child.
Or send them to fetch water with heavy jerry cans on their head straining their fragile necks. (My mommy calls it reducing children's height )

a 14-15 yr old can babysit properly but that's just about it. Or sweep the house and do dishes.

Minors are still on their formative yrs. taking one under your roof is like adding a child to the number you already have. It's not supposed to relieve the family of work stress. If it does, that means the child is being given more that his fair share of chores.

SAMBARRY:
Nor be say they force the child or say you must work here whether you like it or not. Them no drag the child by force. The parents and the person will ask him or her. Do you want to work for me. They will break it down the way the child will understand. Eg if you work for me I'll pay your mummy and daddy and they will be able to help you pay your school fees immediately you leave my house. You will basically let the child know the terms and conditions

so if she says yes I will follow you fine but if she says no and you still drag her and bundle her into the car because you see she's small and helpless then that's wickedness

if you take care of her the way you should I don't see anything wrong however WITH HER CONSCENT not with coercion or threats

good move by him. He did what he thought was best.

I wouldn't do that though. People raise well balanced and appreciate kids all over U.S. All the time. No need to run to Africa to train them right. Except they are visiting. Which they should often.

princeemmac:
coococandy there is still time to migrate oh

Migrate to where?

SAMBARRY:
lol. Village girl


so you prefer sitting there and fanning the fire till the food gets ready while hurting your eyes and some of the charcoal dusts finds its way into the food and contaminates it abi

onijekuje

You should try it sometime when you go to the village.
You don't need to fan it. Use the kind of wood that burns fast and cover your pot. Who will charcoal get in your food?

damiso:
Yes just salt and dried thyme.

ok

Omo that peculiar society needs to do something about itself. Exploiting kids won't solve their problems.

SAMBARRY:
And you're talking as if you are not a Nigerian living in Nigeria

1.how many husbands will WILLINGLY join their wives in doing the house chotrs without the I'm the head of the home How dare you
2.coming back from work and having to deal with traffic and other hassles before you get home nko? At least the house maid will have prepared something for you to eat a bi will you start microwaving food you kept in the freezer
I'm not against house helps . It's not wrong as long as you pay them and treat them with dignity. They are also employed workers. It's child labour when you use them, don't pay for their services, abuse them and throw them out when they start developing hips etc

however they're necessary evils. You can't do without them in our own peculiar society

If you pay the mother or father for the child to work for you, it is still child labor. Regardless of whether you hit them or not.

Child labor is using kids to make money.

It is different from just taking a ward that you want to look after not because you want the child to work for you. There must be no agreement that the child will work for you in any way.
The child should be like yours. No money should exchange hands. And no chores beyond her age as you would give your own child should be given to the child.

The primary aim in that is to take the child under your care. Whereas in child labor the primary aim is for the child to come and work for you. Even if you treat them well, it is still child labor as he or she is there to work for you.

SAMBARRY:
Child labour is when you slave under aged children and abuse them.

Some mothers are aware that their teenage sons are raping the house Maids and will turn a blind eye to it but the moment she gets pregnant they evict her without giving her 5naira or care about her welfare. That one is child abuse

but in a situation where you have an agreement between the parents of the child that I want your daughter to work for me from age 11-17.ill send the monthly salary to the parents and the parents help the child to save money for school fees and other things she will need in school. So as soon as she turns 18 she can leave your house and go to school. That is a form of employment not labour and you treat her like a worker including feeding her.

However you know nigerians like abusing things a lot. It was nigerian mothers that basterdized this house help thing that now made it look like child labour especially those who press hot iron on the back of children or pour pepper in their vaginas

This is wrong on all levels.

Tufia.

I still like my firewood cooking whenever I can.

Too much of course is not good but when you can, pls try it. It is fun. Especially to roast things.

it matters to me

moca:
Eeyaah.
How I wish.
P women and corn.
Gave my preggie nebor enuf to keep her mouth busy cos I know she craves for that a lot.
Not to worry, will send it via ur phone
Hope it's not disturbing u?

lucky her.

No it's not disturbing me. Fit as fiddle

Yes onila.
Death penalty is not the appropriate punishment for rape. The person who told you that is correct.

I want some corn

Boiled with crunchy coconuts or roasted ube.
The ones we buy here aren't quite the same thing.

moca:
Didn't do anything today. So down. My aunty show and e dey disturb me.

I hope too much corn isn't bad o.
D corn in my farm is so ripe and has been roasting, cooking and munching them.
Soo sweet.

D rest I will dry for pap.

One can actually eat corn all day.

Will try and work on my tummy small this night.
I hate aunty f.
Hello all.

Post everything here.
Stop directing us to your blog.

talktomazech:
Disclaimer: OP is not a Catholic, bro!


Dey there dey talk. Click to see what people are talking about right now:

Man sneaks into ex-girlfriend's home, hides under bed for 3 days eating no food!

Read more - https://www.mazech.com/ex-lover

Cry for your country first.

You're just trying to promote your blog. Lol

Toks2008:
now you are communicating without using harsh words of nonsense...

Well if employing minors will translate to childs labor then forget getting a maid.

This is not about discipline please..men are visual and i dont expect many women to understand this.

It is still nonsense.

I'm glad you're learning child labor is intolerable. That's my own concern not the other things you're saying.

I don't have any response to your men are this men are that generalizations. Some men still don't sleep around. Some have had maids that they didn't sleep with. They don't have two heads.

It's funny when you say this you always include yourself among the good virtuous ones. Who are the bad ones?
Anyway that's topic for another day.

If you will join the campaign against child labor, and condemn anyone you hear promoting it, me and you no get issue to discuss again.

You can be visual all you want after that.

Do you even know the meaning of vulgarity?
Because this one doesn't match your opinion, it is vulgar Abi. Were there any cuss word or censored words in that post.

This your opinion is like saying there's nothing wrong in slave trading and expect to be lauded for it. I can't sugarcoat how annoying it is so pls forgive the directness. You expect me to tell you "Oga pls ejoor child labor is not good"

If you don't see anything wrong in hiring children to work for you--a situation in which they have no choice but to go with whatever you and the seller decide to do with them, there's no gentle way to tell you except bluntly.

Child labor is wrong
It is wrong
It is wrong
Wrong wrong wrong.

Many people didn't know better and used to do it. Can't blame them. But that time has passed. I'm surprised all the campaign of child's rights organizations all over Nigerian is not affecting that many people. Now anyone who's doing it can't claim ignorant.
What will happen before that will change?

It's disheartening that you're a young man who should know better.

By all means, dislike adult maids if you want but the solution is not using children instead. Prepare your mind to work with your partner and keep your home as you want if you can't hire an adult maid.

Toks2008:
i will not give you another luxury of having me respond to your comment if you dont learn how to articulate your opinion in a non derogatorry manner.

I wrote my opinion and if you have a counter opinion please articulate it in an intelligent andd intellectual manner without hyperventilations and vulgarity. We are not in a beer parlor.

Omotayor123:
And yet one of my friends is insisting she can't get married without having a maid... Smh!

Nice piece OP.

If she must have a maid, pls advice her to not take a child.

Child labor should be dying off now instead of increasing.

Toks2008:
Slaves are bought and not paid wages but made to render services MANDATORILY but when you take up a task and you are paid for it then its no longer slavery but a job.

A minor can't work for pay legally.
So whoever you're paying to keep her as your maid is exploiting her with your help.
I'm sure you won't like to give your own child out to work as an underage maid to anyone but will encourage others to do so to children of poorer parents who are ignorant and greedy and won't mind using their kids to survive.

The earlier you learn that self control is the way out, the better for you. The solution is not using children as maids. It's for those guys who have minds like yours to learn to control themselves.

I don't know what's all these nonsense one reads here everyday. We are talking of how to move the country forward and you're busy propagating child labor because in your mind all men lack self control. If the ladies insult you guys with that phrase, you will start crying. But here you are lending credence to the generalization that men have no self control. Are all of them like you?

Do you all sleep with your female classmates and female colleagues because you come in contact with them everyday? So a man can't have an adult female employee without thinking of sleeping with her? Do you hope to one day employ people as a boss or will women be out of the question because you don't trust yourself around them?

What's wrong with you self?

This is not one of those topics that one will be like just ignore them they are talking nonsense. You're actually here propagating child labor. An offense for which people serve jail time in saner climes.

Pls stop this nonsense. It's enough.

Jeez. So dense

Stop expressing concern about the brother if they will misunderstand it.
Just pack the remaining gifts to your place if they are valuable and find space to squeeze them in
to avoid further misunderstanding.
If they are not that valuable, over look it. They can use them if they so wish.

For some people their daughters-in-law can do no right. So you might want to stop trying too hard until they acclimatize to you and everything else will fall in place.

Concentrate on your husband for now. The happier he is, the more they won't have a choice than to accept your concerns as genuine.

She was around with three of my inlaws and a house help n my two kids in a room and parlor for four months

How where you guys sleeping?