₦airaland Forum

Damiso and 2catwoman. You're right about the Asian communities. Even here, they run the show on black beauty products. And boy do they know the market.
You'd think something we use so much would be on our list of things to invest in.

One more thing they've started doing is African food. On a few occasions my African store didn't have everything I wanted but sure enough, Asian food stores have them. Those people have ijebu/upper iweka blood in them.

I think what helps them is that their identity is still intact and they take great pride in being who they are. There's hardly any major town or city you go to without it having an Asian sector that's just Asian. From buildings to language and everything. Just like stepping into the real deal.

Blacks despite our population don't have anything like that. There's like no pride in our culture. Maybe slavery is really to blame for that. Or maybe we don't really have any honorable cultural practices worth preserving.

Caracta:
Exactly. When a man in Africa shows too much love to his woman, it's wrongly termed as being under the influence of 'juju' because it appears the woman is controlling him. There is something wonderful that woman is doing to that man. It could even be as petty as food or sexual games.

mmmm

Smiles her secret smile

Tut tut

I agree and disagree with some of your points. I do think I get what you're saying and agree with the implied meaning so no need trying to argue with every point just because of the way you put it.

You know stuff like not every man will see himself as the boss and expect you to continually massage his ego. Some will like you to show that you know your worth not just a doormat. While some will exploit that. You forget we are talking about human beings here. All can't be the same. Things like that.

But otherwise I think I got ya.

Chidoks:
cocacandy, the thing is this.when you go all out to sincerely respect a man, he grows soft towards you.he tends to listen to you because you respect him.
Every man that is worth it sees himself as the boss, the captain of the ship called marriage.he had his ego.all you berd do is to massage his ego by respecting him.not necessarily being a fool but meekness that would reach out to his soul and soften the hardest part of him.once you get to that point, that man would have the urge to give back.
Now the only way he can give back is not to respect you.no.it's by seeking to please you.he shows it by doing things that will make you happy.he will do things he wouldn't have naturally done just to please you; things you may or not have asked for.
at this point if you stop he stops but if you continue you lead him on and this man will provide, protect, abd defend you with all he's got.
On the other hand if you show him that you are equal, competition starts.he will be compelled to maintain his top position which manufests in wickedness, rejecttion, and beating

freecocoa:
Ok, I just chipped in because I can relate and know that many women say that a lot, and of a truth, a man in love with a woman, often paints the picture of the woman being in control because he is willing to do things for her.

P.S I'm referring to normal and reasonable people in love o.

True. I can personally relate to the picture of the woman being in control as seen by the outsiders who don't know what's going on in the house themselves. Just because the man is truly in love with her. Some will even say you're using juju on the man. Rotfl

I only question the use of such words as 'control' by the woman herself. But I've read their explanations to what they mean. It all makes sense.

bukatyne:
Na real me and submission

I just noticed the theme and wanted a thread to address it joor.

Fiesty mama

Ok carry on.

That's racism thing on the girls thread is proving quite an interesting read.

I'll be back

Got ya

freecocoa:
The point I'm trying to make is that, to submit to anyone, you have to see that person as a superior or authority figure, just like the bible said.

Master-slave
Husband-wife
Father-children


Boss-subordinate.

freecocoa:
I don't think they mean it the way you understood it.

I'd like to think every woman wants a man that listens to her and I mean, really listens to her, vice versa.

She'd just like to know her opinion is very important and will be considered.

Well I'd have loved to hear them kind of explain that part themselves.

Chidoks I don't know but caracta I've known a while and her opinions on issues are usually on point. So let me not start misunderstanding her now.

Sagamite you're making a truck load of sense.
pls quit with the cussing. This is our girls thread. Don't cuss.

bukatyne:
And why do you want to run a man/ be in control?

I'm sorry girls, chidoks and caracta, I've to re-ask this question. Why do you want to be in control?

That doesn't sound right to my ears. No offense.

Lolz bukatyne and submission

I'm sorry I don't know what to say.

This is one topic that no one discusses in their homes except on nairaland and maybe in church on wedding days. Trust those pastors.

Well my DH he doesn't like me meek. My fiestiness is a plus. Anything I don't like, I don't like it. We have to find a way to work around it, not make me do it because I must submit. Of course I compromise a lot too. So does he.

Freecocoa said that's not submission as long we still both have our free wills unlike the true definition of submission which I think no one really practices and she disagrees. Werin I wan talk again?

Case dismiss.

thelish:
lollll, U need to go thru the guys previous topic, u Will be amazed at him ooo. am a lady but feel so disappointed at this guy with his kind of love.

Well by now I guess he knows what he needs to do.

otunnegi1:
I got in touch with the site that posted it. I challenged them on the authenticity and they gave me those assurances that I posted earlier.

RIP Abobaku

Hian. Ok. Sha.

I was hoping you'd know the site that posted it will reassure you that it is true. What else would they say?

I'm against such a thing if indeed it did happen. But we should be careful spreading such stories of we aren't entirely sure.

How do you know all these?

otunnegi1:
The video man risked his life to get that video. He was hiding in the bush,using camera with long lens. We should be grateful he was able to capture this atrocity. Copies have been made available to the police but so far,they have pretended not to know or care.
It's sad.
RIP Abobaku

otunnegi1:
The abobaku was tied strongly so he could not move. Watch the video again.

Poor guy.
RIP abobaku

How do you know it's him?

That video doesnt looks like something shot by a regular stand by. It looks like it's from a movie.

And if it was the abokoku abi Wetin Una dey call am. Why would they allow a video around them while doing it and where's the onii that he was supposed to be buried along with?

Like we didn't know.

Pretentious party.

I'd wonder if there is something wrong with me

[b]The summary of nairaland issues between feminists and non-feminists is this. And why I chose not to waste my time 'discussing' it with anyone anymore.
I put discussing in quote because that's usually not what it is. It's usually this repeating pattern where someone creates a thread going on course until a non-feminist derails by throwing in a sly one about feminists and they are good people because of that but all hell breaks loose when a feminist replies him or her.

1) non-feminists feel like they have a license to make derogatory comments about feminists but feel slighted when they respond in same way.

2) I hardly see any feminist type any post and begin by saying "non-feminists are this and that". It's always the other way around. You go just dey your own someone will carry "feminists are bla di bla" and make all sorts of underhanded comments at slighting other people yet feel like they don't deserve such in return. Talk of entitlement.

3)at least on the family section, non-feminists especially these okokporo 'single boys' are more insulting than anything the world has seen before. Yet these bags of hormone feel they have a world of knowledge base on what 'married females' should be and behave like.

4)if people don't understand feminists and 'their beliefs' wouldn't it be easier to just ignore them than drag feminism into every discussion, disparaging them and making out like the victims when called out. Like I said before, I'm yet to see any feminist creating threads to insult the nons. It's always the other way round. Yet they can't seem to see what they are doing wrong. It's like this irresistible urge to force everyone into agreeing with us or we bully them into agreeing.

5) if you believe in gender equality, don't believe that women are inferior to men and deserve equal respect, believe that women shouldn't be limited based on their gender and everything else that comes with the feminist ideology, yet don't want to identify as one, it is a free world. But don't redefine feminism for those who believe in it simply because you believe in the same thing but don't want to be called by the name. Again It's a free world. I don't see the 'international body of feminists' auditioning for members. Or hounding those who don't share the same opinions as them.

Just you guys quit with the insulting and let them be.

But if you feel like you have a right to insult feminists and their beliefs, pls also know that they have a right to respond in kind.

Equal rights everybody.
[/b]

scarletmoon:
so much sense in this post.
1000000 likes for you.

Thanks

Thanks for enlightening us.

@bold, no it's because the Nigerian government is biased against men
This OP self.he's still clinging to his conspiracy theories

Onegai:
Hmm, but the OP is actually wrong.

I mean about the DNA testing in France, Germany and Sweden.

IT IS ILLEGAL TO CONDUCT A SECRET DNA TEST ON A CHILD BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THOSE COUNTRIES' LAWS, IT VIOLATES THEIR RIGHT TO PRIVACY.

The "Disturbing the Peace" falls under that. If you want to get a DNA test, simply apply for a court order which shows the consent of both parents have been given and it will be issued to you immediately. No questions asked. However, some of the men involved in it DO NOT wish their spouse to know they are testing their child (if the child is theirs, they have introduced friction into their relationship by looking for trouble "Disturbing the Peace" so they secretly send the samples abroad for testing.

Even in the US, you cannot get a passport for a child without consent from both parents or a document stating that one parent is dead or unable to give consent (even in jail doesn't count). They won't even let you put anyone's name as the Father on the birth certificate unless you are married (the Father has to go down to the State/City Dept of Public Health and ask that his name to be put on the bc). This is avoid people naming anyone as the Father and hitting him with child support payments.

All these moves are to protect the child and the Father, no?

I mean, you could have simply asked any of your brothers in those European countries who have gotten babes pregnant and tried to abscond and claim it's not theirs. or ask someone who practises international Family Law. Rather than state something you don't know, as a fact in order to score cheap points (now every one who jumped on this thread to shout "men are oppressed! see evidence" look silly because all those dudes who start threads like "I married a Lithuanian geh/lack of papers" could have easily answered this correctly).

And as to why DNA tests are expensive in Nigeria, I thought every reasonable logical person knew everything is inflated in Nigeria for profit.

Right? You knew that right?

oh, wait...

This video looks like something from a movie.

OP how do we know it's the real thing? And what's the indications that man there is alive?

NgeneUkwenu:
Amaechi, Tinubu and Atiku have not told Buhari to abandon his anti corruption drive!

They won't. How will they? When they are sure he's blind to their corruption.

Yeye dey boom.

thelish:
Don't tell me you are still in a relationship with the girl that introduced you as a cousin to her cultist boyfriend. After all the advice?

lol OP is this true?

If true pls run for your life.
Na you and cultist wan follow drag the pikin?

Yea but at least she could have stopped him when he was carrying on like he wanted the relationship to continue.

Since she knew she wanted to end it.
She didn't consider how renewing his love and dashing it again would make him feel.

oreos:
The babe has not done anything wrong. She knew in her heart that she would misbehave again. She did not want to hurt him what if sge had gone long with him only for her to keep hurting him and playing games.

Why are you so short-sighted?

@unyours, I think the purpose of the date was to seek your forgiveness and you should be grateful that she was mature enough to end it.

That babe is cold.
Damn.

She knew she wanted to dump but she gave you hope and even made you spend your money on her that day.

Damn.

At least she could have said all that before getting you all smiley and forgivy and generous.

AtheistD:
You are one in a million. A rare breed. Unfortunately most women won't look at someone younger than them, less educated or with lower earnings.

No I'm not.

Male OND holders get married everyday.
Even many of the guys without OND who are hustling in ariaria and onithsa upper iweka market are married.

Many of them marry university graduates too.

nairaland is a distorted version of reality.

Thank god for them.

Meanwhile they are making me think of agofure bread now.

Ninth wife.

Apart from his sexual problems, that man should have been dumped long ago. Lying, thieving and manipulative.

gabbytabby:
They do not have children and she is staying with him knowing his problem in this area. In her words she is all in and does not understand him being shady with her.

His problem?

Anyway she has no reason to take out a life insurance. She should stand her ground.

You can't knock a child on the head without your knuckles and knuckles don't protrude without clenched fists. I'm Nigerian. I know what a knock to the head is.

These strong bones of the skull, are they of equal strengths in kids as they are in adults?
Compare hitting their heads with adult strength.

A child's brain is still growing until seven yrs of age during which time the bones are relatively fragile to allow maximum expansion of the brain. Can these bones during that period offer the same protection as an adult's.

You're right about the consequences of a slap.
It is equally as dangerous with knocks. But since you're the person giving the knock here, you won't see it that way.

Well have it your way. Knocking their heads isn't dangerous. If you say so.

You've started with "I know medical conditions more than you" make we no progress before it will turn into a certificate measuring contest.

5minsmadness:
the brain is well protected by the skull. Most people that knock a child on the head usually knock on the frontal bone of the skull, once in a while on the parietal bone. These bones are exceedingly dense and can withstand a lot of stress. A rap on the head with the knuckle will not cause much damage.
Knocking a child on the head is very different from using a clenched fist which is what you might be confusing things with here. Even then the damage caused will be minimal unless the person hit with all their strength ie with an intent to kill which like i have said previously is immature and abusive.

A slap on the other hand is on soft tissue. there is no bony inner structure to protect the individual. a slap can lead to cuts, brusies, lacrations to the tongue, lacerations to the inner teeth, possible damage of surrounding structures like the eye which may be caught in the crossfire. there could be swelling, imflammation and possible infection, hematoma formations and in very sever cases dislocation of the jaw may occur.

So yes it is more dangerous to slap a 5yr old child than to knock him/her on the head.

I will admonish you to take your own advice and leave it at that.