₦airaland Forum

damiso:
I used to say a lot of similar things about not wanting to raise my children not to feel guilty about things but to rather not do them because it's the right thing to do.

Nowadays after becoming a parent I realise that having to help shape influence and bring up a child is such a huge task that a lot of parents just make it up as they go and everything that they did(ok most not all) came from a place of love and wanting to protect their kids from life.And like bellong alluded to it often has religious undertones which if being followed to the letter/spirit means both male &female (last I checked the two biggest religions in Nigeria think fornication is a sin for males and females).

I know it's a bit old fashioned but I would really wish my children(son& daughter) keep themselves chaste till marriage. Unfortunately it's not up to me but them. What I wouldn't do is tell them that se.x is bad or shameful but something best enjoyed in a marital bed.

As the daughter of Muslims who is now a Christian [color=#990000]I am however realistic enough to know that not everything you wish or instill or inculcate into your child is the path they will follow [/b] sighs. I will do my best sha God help us.

CHM11:
What these white people and their idealogies have done to us ehn.

So if me and my elder brother or sister fight because of an issue, we should be separated to different homes, because that's still domestic violence to me.

This phrase 'domestic violence' have got into so many wive's head that they don't know how to behave or cordinate themselves to their husbands anymore. As much as I dislike men who hit women, most women should watch how they talk and behave to their husbands for the sake of your children and your home. ....

its Simple, just be the African woman that you are, treat your husband like a king and watch him treat you like a queen. Don't let all these western ideas destroy your home. We are Africans.

I pray a smart lady learns something.

@Op domestic violence or not is not my business, I'm only concerned about those 3 kids and the trauma they will go through due to the selfishness of their parents. Yes to me they are selfish!!!!

bellong:
Yes, the priest is watching out for his clans...

@Cococandy,

I believe most parents teach chastity not necessarily telling the girls to keep themselves pure for their men but for religious reasons.

Being chaste doesn't stop anybody from reaching the peak of pleasure, things are learnt. There are enough good materials available to aid it.
And I agree with parents who teach chastity because the benefits outweigh the cons. I only do not agree with the methods adopted. There are other ways to teach your children and be open about sex while not compromising sanctity.

Like someone said a lot of wives need to free themselves to their husband to enjoy it. Some are too frigid and it is a big hindrance.

lezz:
i just made a passing observation. and i have met most of you females in most other posts with your feminist crusades.

after reading some of your posts on feminism, ughrr, men, i never thought you'll ever come to the full realization of the power of the male's prick.

I mean, you guys will jump and scream at the sight of spiders and house rodents, but treat the male erect prick with so much less fear. lolzzzz.


you will shed the last garb of feminism after experiencing a body quivering , breath hissing and diaphragm spasm orgasm caused by a man's penis.

and as your breathing begins to take its normal rhythm, and your spasm subsides and you lay spent of energy, the sweet sensation of being a true woman fills the void.

RedBenson:
That guy is a great guy...no doubt. Judging from his choice of moniker (TheSonOfMark) to how he eloquently presents his posts, no one needs to question his intelligence. It's crystal clear he's loaded up there. Btw, do you know what is "mark" and the son to mark?

Thesonofmark, i've become your fan. Ride on jare.

RedBenson:
Not really what you take it for. It seems educational opportunity given to women is aiming at making them over-pompous and bloated and it's against the ethics of men...African (Nigerian men particularly) . Education is good but dont let the women folks who have the opportunity rub its effects on our faces.

damiso:
Bellong I thought you were a priest

This topic reminds me of an Episode of 'Desperate Housewives' when Bree went to see her doctor after she had an orgasm for the first time She actually thought she was having fits from a strange ailment

Cococandy .... What practical ways would parents be open(or like you said not made to feel shame at being a s.exual being) about their teenage daughters se.xuality without also being seen as encouraging teenage se.x? I know someone who took her 15 year old to get contraceptives and I know that I can never be that open because to me (note I am not condemning her ) that's saying I know you are having s.ex please just don't get pregnant. Believe me it's a dicey one for parents. I hated the restrictions as a child but now I soooo understand it.

I know our parents were a bit OTT but thinking about it now teenage pregnancy often tends to affect the girl more than the boy as she is often left with a child while the boy can just carry on like nothing happened.not fair I know but is the reality.

lezz:
it has been my suspicion that most nairaland avowed feminists are a different specie altogether offline.

who would have thought a notorious feminist would prioritise orgasm. hehehehe.


after all those your sweet lectures of sexual interactions of giving selflessly, some feminist will still fail to reach orgasm when it is appllied, why: because most of them do not know the doctrine of sweet surrender and giving yourself to their man.


the act of selflessness and desire to please most be foremost in the mind of the man, while the woman should let go completely to the sweet abandonment of surrender.

coogaluta:
He is short and bald-headed with a big tummy

moca:
Hi ladies and gents.
It's been a while

I traveled and was quite busy.
Surprised?(yep,my baby has decided to stay well. I can now walk around. My only problem now is the pubic bones. The thing scatter no be small)

Efe,i dey come. We never fight finish. Let me get small time and I will finish u. Or rather,make I born finish.
I dey come.just wait for me.
How u dey? Family and work nko?

Will yarn u later about that thing I asked for ur advice. It seems we will..... we will yarn later.

Make una eat healthy o.

Hmn,scorpion was killed inside our kitchen.

coogar:
if you dunno, now you know.
cococandy loves her bed-breaking orgasms!



it shows how much she holds me close to her heart.

5minsmadness:
Wow.

I guess I was wrong.

Having an orgasm is your priority in life.

Who would have thought

Cococandy i have learnt something new about you today.

coogar:
no way!!!
na aluta be this? we all thought you were married to senator yerima when you suddenly disappeared. it's nice to hear from you? how work?



what has coogar done this time?

5minsmadness:
Honestly my post wasn't directed at you. I saw some ladies mention sexual repression/African mentality and I went "ugh!". If I want to address you I will. You should know that about me by now.


Having said that^^^^ Everything is not fight. I see Stillfire snidely mentioning me and gearing up for a fight. I'm not up to it right now.


Having an orgasm should not be your priority in life.
Your parents did well to drum the evils of early sexual encounters into your ears and look how well you turned out(pls keep your head from swelling if u can). There are many ladies out there who got thrown out of school following early pregnancies and many more who have had thier wombs destroyed from early unsafe abortions. Surely you won't place those same predicaments on the same scale as your education and honour simply because u want to experience orgasm?

Also I would be hard pressed to believe the lovingingly delivered sexual cautions your parents gave u had the same dubious effect as a German brain washing technique and rendered u Sexually incompetent for life.
Come on, so your brother was never cautioned about bringing a pregnant lady home. If your answer is yes then you guys had a very strange upbringing.


The main problem I find with most ladies is that they take responsibility for nothing. Nothing at all. It's never thier fault. They always have somebody to blame. That is total immaturity in my books. And it could be a reason why they never achieve as much as their male counterparts.

Sexually explicit content. (18++)
[size=5pt]
My first girlfriend was circumcised. I had seen other vaginas before but never gone round to first base(church things before I became corrupt ). She never had an orgasm but since she was my first she kept encouraging me by making silly noises. Now I may have been a virgin but I knew she was faking it. And it pissed me off. So when we broke up I did some research(both practical and theoretical). I actually took it as a challenge . We reunited a year later and I tried it out. The genuine sexual noises weren't what convinced me I had been successful , it was the juices that flowed out of her(not pee) and the sexuaI seizures she had. We had to change the sheets repeatedly. So you see, I don't need statistics to check if there is a center of gravity or clit-stimulation or all that jazz. I know because I have seen. It isn't faith for me. It's fact.[/size]

This is not something I feel comfortable talking about anyway. I'll stop here unless there are reasonable questions.

all4naija:
What do you conceal inside that taco-looking food?

sweetgimbo:
nigeria is really turning something else, so tey women dey get mouth drag her husband go court, that means there is no love in the marriage and the woman is cheating.........

Stillfire:
I haven't read the whole ten page, just the topic.
But this is rubbish!
This is the same West that ridiculed my foremothers for being bare-chested and called them primitive. Now they want to be naked. They are hypocrites as far as I'm concerned. If it were African women on this campaign, I will support them. Not these hypocrites.
Besides, as a confirmed, unabashed prude, I don't believe in the excessive exposure of sexuality. Please I don't want my eyes bastardized. Imagine seeing a man walking with his di.ck out all in the name of freedom, I will be the first to call the police.
The same old standards of sexuality women are held to, men should be held to such standards.
If women cannot go barechested, men should not be allowed to go barechested, rather than since men can go barechested, women should as well. Since women are slut-shamed, men MUST be slut-shamed! All sluts male and female are deviants to society and should be prosecuted. This is my kind of equality.

Ibsgal:
That's going to be a tough sell, especially since most Nigerians have very conservative views about sex.

MarvellousGod:
I really do understand you.. but the article only stated that the only mistake the man made often was with the laundry. . Buying of 70/30 meat was out of ignorance and breaking of glass could happen to anyone. . The woman was simply being overbearing.. even belittling her husband cos of lil issues. ..

Whichever anyway, this is only but a story so let me not dwell much on it... Have a good day ahead

5minsmadness:
Kk.

1. The ladies have turned this thread into a "blame the parents/African mentality thread". If you don't own your problems you will never be able to solve them. Nobody is stopping you from having an orgasm. Even victims of rape sometimes experience orgasms so the "blame the mind/africa/parents is a cheap cop-out.


2. Having said this, it is the duty of the unselfish man to ensure that his lady achieves an orgasm at least once during thier sexual relationship. It doesn't have to be about you all the time. You put your dick in, drill as hard as you can until you pop, and then collapse in a sweaty heap beside your lady who is desperately wanting more but resigns herself to fate. It should be a thing of pride for a man to bring his mate to orgasm at least once.

A lady achieves orgasm following prolonged sexual stimulation. This mostly involves the fingers and the Penis together but can also be achieved by using either of those body parts alone. And no its not like in the porn movies when the man keeps on drilling and drilling for hours, your woman will eventually get bored and her vagina will dry up and she may actually start to experience pain. Instead you keep her distracted by stimulating other exotic zones as you drill away. Such areas include the nose, earlobes, bweasts, nippIes, bellybutton, back of the knees, inner thighs and toes. Keep the focus on her, not on you. Not only will this let her enjoy sex more and eventually orgasm, by keeping the focus off yourself you tend to last longer.

Sex, like every other male-female relationship, involves giving yourself and not waiting to receive all the time from the other person. I have had many sophisticated(strictly English speaking) women greet me in thier native language after a tryst. I dare say I don't do anything too special. I just focus more on giving her pleasure than pleasuring myself.

If you have any mature questions on orgasm as it relates to our Nigerian environment you can ask. Orgasms are for every normal healthy female out there and shouldn't be seen as something of a myth.

Krystalxxx:
Some studies point to the fact that the black woman is regarded as the most undesirable race of women in the world. But some suggest that this is because no other race degrades or openly disgraces their women more than the black race. I think this is true, judging by the posts on nairaland. It is a pity that we do not realize, especially the men, that at the end of the day we are stuck together. No other race would make us one of theirs. The insults heaped on the African woman by African men themselves have given us the title of the least respected women in the world, and what better excuse for other races to disrespect us.

When our men treat our women like rags, outsiders will come to laugh at us as a whole, that's men included. While other countries move to dishwashers and other amenities which enable them to do more useful things in their lives while still taking care of the chores, African men prefer that our women spend the lion's share of their time proving their worth scratching and scrubbing, when we could have a more powerful force of both men and women, powered up educationally and moving the world with their intelligence.

Too bad. Other countries be discussing their next powerful moves and celebrating gargantuan victories.......but Nigerian men and women are still huddled up in their little huts arguing about who will wash the plates

waxdude:
uhhh okay,been follwin dis thread bt nt fot once posted any pic...well I prepared dis...wateva dey call it porridge yam or pottage...me I dunno..al I'm concern abt is it tastes nice n my stomach luvit cococandy,efemenaxy,akposy,herzumpter,kimoni,ewuro4,smartmom,babyosisi,naijababe...Oya ohhh make una tell me if I try