₦airaland Forum

Emaprince:
wow, that's a good news. Lmfao.

I thought men are the only ones that pays for child support? Good to know that tables can be turned.

why won't you think like that when your source of information is nairaland alarmist group of misinformers?

My DH's boss is a woman. She pays child support for all her 3kids because they live with her hubby.

Matters of child maintenance are always decided in the best interest of the kids not the yeye gender and feminist bla bla bla some people like to teach you on nairaland.

Klopp:
maybe, but this has gone too far nw

exactly

You mean business o

EfemenaXY:
Half a week's worth of fruit & veg shopping. Frozen vegs excluded...

~ strawberries
~ lettuce
~ cucumber
~ apples
~ bananas
~ golden melon
~ pineapple
~ oranges
~ avocados
~ pears
~ cress
~ mangoes
~ red, yellow, and green bell peppers
~ satsumas
~ green and purple grapes
~ peaches
~ plums
~ cherry tomatoes
~ limes (dunno what I'm gonna do with those . Edwife. Chillisauce. Cococandy. Babe3. Kimoni. Smartmom. Damiso. Anyone else...ladies help! )

I learned that I must transcend my comfortable routine and cease doing the bare minimum required to classify me as a "good husband." I don't want her to remember me as "good." I want to be remembered as "great." Performing unexpected acts of service for my wife is like pouring gasoline on hot coals in a southern California beach pit. These simple acts take me into another realm of happiness at home.

Simple.

It goes the other way too.

Nice write-up

Gopulence:
oMG!!! My heart jumps when i see your table all set out with meals for your family.....

Great job! I'm learning from you, (do not want 5 kids sha)... You do a mighty great job...Your kids must be so healthy in and out...God bless you!!

Coco, nice tasty-looking meals too....well done!!

thanks

Pls how is it your business Mr OP?
And you came to show nairalanders because you've seen something no one ever saw before?

Pfft.

He let the grief get to his head.

If there's no restraining order against you, he has no right to do that.
It is not even up to him to tell you what to pay. All that should be settled in court. Do your research and hire a competent lawyer(I don't know if you will find one on nairaland)

If I saw this kind of promo when I had my wedding, I would have been overjoyed. Save us some money.

Anyway let me shut up before they will say I'm your sister trying to promote your business .

taryour:
Yes o. Thanks sis. Only few will take advantage of it.

This is nice and cheap.

Way to go.

I did think of this but didn't want to say it to avoid hurting her feelings in case the ttc thing is an emotional topic for her.
Or in case she wasn't considering divorcing him.

I agree the no child thing can be seen from this perspective as a blessing because it removes complications from her life should she decide to leave.

raumdeuter:
My own advice is very short

When people say in all things give thanks to God. When God denied you a child for this guy now you would think he was a wicked God.

Imagine you having a child for him

My own, this marriage is over. Good thing you dont even have anything tying you together. You dont even need more evidence than this especially with your own SISTER? Maybe in 20yrs time it would be with your daughter. Of 100m women in Nigeria na your sister he see

If he likes let him marry your sister

Abeg move away from that area and vicinity start a new life. You were never married.

God thing you have a job too. If you continue one day you eye would see real evil

This is so impressive. Kudos ma

Actually that's my personal stand too.

But in another life, if I find myself in that position, I'd just like to do the remarrying thing to shut those people who think divorced or widowed women can't find love again up.

Some of them don't know many women prefer not remarry because of the way marriage places them in a lower position as human beings if they are to follow the traditions of some places in Nigeria.
While some would rather concentrate on their kids than raising more kids with a new man.


The reason is not because they can't find someone to partner up with again

babyosisi:
I have written a zillion times,I will not marry more than once,this is not "try your luck"
This is it for me
This is the only man I will be vulnerable with and give my heart to totally
It takes sweat to get to where we are today and God knows I don't have the energy to learn and adjust and adapt to a new man
Never
Only one time.
So I work at doing it constantly and so does he
God willing we are at a good place and I pray it stays that way

If you think you picked the right choice,God helping you and did all you can do,if the marriage fails,what else is there to do?
I will have nothing else to offer the next man
Why bother
Doesn't mean I will eat shait to stay married like nigerian wives are taught
I won't do that either
I am a pretty independent person

Ok I've heard you.

Let's rest the matter.

kaboninc:
You scrutinise my comment with what, your one-sided replies? Funny you.

My dear, should you show or should your husband read our conversation, of course he may not acknowledge my stand (in your presence) but if he smiles, then know he has admitted it.

I wasn't the first to bring up that line. Someone did. I just re-emphasised it. That she has to be wise because it is indeed a man's world.

Let me help you.

Being a man's world doesn't mean men are perfect. Doesn't mean men are beyond reproach, or sin, or infallible or repair or death! It means compared to a woman, a man can ALWAYS get what he wants and have his way at any point in time.

So wise women (which am so sure you're far from) use this knowledge to their own advantage. And in fact, rule over men.

You just claim to know something when in fact, you know nothing. Instead you come here fighting for issues you should ordinary use as an advantage.

Funny.

There was one who used to ask me out when I was still single. when I asked him about his wife, he said she has no right to question him. In a very condescending tone. I felt so sorry for her.
He said As long as he remains her husband, she's supposed to bear it all. According to him, God made it so. For the woman to be subservient unto the man no matter what.

This is an educated man o. MD in a government hospital with his own big private hospital too.

I was too disgusted to be angry.

For the woman mind, she get value as a human being but the man didn't think her worth respecting so much he could say such nonsense to a lady he just met against his wife who had been with him thru med school and all the rigors of building their lives and raising the family.

No wonder we have so many damaged guys everywhere. Nobody taught them responsibility and accepting a mistake when you make it.
Nobody taught them to be sorry for misbehavior.

Their orientation growing up is that women don't deserve to be treated as respectable human beings. Smh.
That's what leadership means to them.

I'm the head so I deserve to misbehave.

What am I saying? Is that not what being a leader means to the average Nigerian politician?.
The roots come from dysfunctional family systems where being the head means you're free to misbehave.

freecocoa:
I was having a conversation with two men yesterday, one married, the married one was cheating and saw nothing wrong in it, saying that how do I expect him not to, when there are so many beautiful women around and that he is an African man, the discourse got to a point where he said he decides what his wife's dream is, that she even submits her salary to him, he said so many things, so much that my head was literally spinning, then I couldn't take it no more when he made the mistake of telling me that, if I must be married and stay married, I had to accept that the man has the right to do whatever, so long as he provided for me and the children, that I must have to accept his wishes as he is my lord blah blah blah, I didn't even know when I told him he isn't fit to be in this century.

The most annoying thing is even that, this man is supposedly learned and a director in one of them oil companies, I just weak, ofcourse the other guy was nodding to whatever Mr married man said, he added that it's even preached in marriage counselling, that the man has the final say and that the woman must submit. I just know in my heart that, I can never be with such a man, I'd rather remain unmarried.

You see you can't honestly be straight forward with that your nonsense line.
Because you know it looks so silly now having been scrutinized. If you really wanted to respect the lady, you won't even bring that line into this thread.


Wait,Show him my conversation with who? You?
Why?

So he will agree that you're right?. That It is a man's world and you're above women so it is ok for you to sleep around?

You must think he has time for nonsense.

Pls face front on the subject matter.

Show him conversation ko .

He's on NL. Whenever he logs on, he will see it for himself as always.

kaboninc:
If this: It's a man's world And God cursed women to be under men. is all you can get from all my post, then it is a total waste of my time in engaging with you.

Like I said earlier, I'll respect the lady in need here than to answer to your rambling, emotional and skewed infested comments.

Ohh, do me this favour and show to your husband our conversation.

Thanks.

You can't even answer a simple question.


Yes he's the head of the family. Just as OP's husband is the head of their family. Is there a reason why that is under discussion in this scenario?
Head-of-family's responsibility is not to chook his dyck into any available hole.
So why should that come up in a case like this?

Now back to the question. If you will answer. What does 'it's a man's world' mean in this context where the man is sleeping with another woman, worse, his sister-in-law.
Someone is sleeping with his wife's younger sis and all you can say is that It's a man's world And God cursed women to be under men.

Is that what being a leader means to you?
Is it not even worse that the leader who should be leading by example is the one setting bad example for the wife to follow?
Leadership is not a license to behave badly. It is a responsibility to set good examples.

Anyway what has it being a man's world got to do with op's case? Does that make it ok? Yes or no? Simple answer. Not all this insincere beating about the bush.

Answer the damn question and stop dragging my husband into matters that don't concern him.

kaboninc:
You've always been one sided with your views and you try so hard to remain one-sided. That's too bad!
Firstly you should spend your time reading my comment before responding.

Secondly, maybe you read the bible but you don't read it properly. I do not want to be dragged into bible verses and things like that. I want to respect the lady in need here. I never said "the bible cursed the woman but God did!" The verse is an assignment for you.

You also turned a blind eye to where I said Kings and Lords make huge mistakes and they not only pay with their lives but that of their generations. Does "sin" in this context not translate to "huge mistakes"?

I am sure you're married. Maybe you tell your husband that you're equal with him. Yes you are. But still tell others (and even yourself) that he's your leader and the head of your family? Ohh, you can give us your own definition of a leader/head.

Such a terrible hypocrite you are!

Detox smoothie

Kiwi
Strawberry
Banana
Blackberries

@akposy, holla when the time comes. We will come vote you

Detox smoothie

Kiwi
Strawberry
Banana
Blackberries

Never knew this kind of thing is edible

Anyway I've eaten an octopus before so I guess there is nothing new under the sun.

You're still not making your point clear.
It is a man's world because the bible permits him to sin and the woman is not?
What's your point?
You said the bible cursed women. In the contest of this scenario,what does that mean?

You're trying so hard to make sense but failing woefully. At least stand by your opinion no matter how disgusting it is?

Are men permitted to sin and women are not by virtue of the 'curse' God placed on women?

I can see why some people leave Christianity(topic for another say sha)

Does men being above women mean that women are logs if wood and should be fine sucking up whatever the man throws their way because God wants it so? Just an emphatic yes would make your point clear (it would be irritating but your point will be clear) or if your answer is no, why bringing up the phrase "it's a man's world in this kind of scenario?'
It's a man's world means what exactly in this scenario? It is ok for him to what he did?

kaboninc:
Lol!

You ladies marvel me most times I must admit. Always have one kine of interpretation for everything.

No wonder you guys keep having emotional heartbreaks every time.

By above it means he should lord over her. Kings and Lords make huge mistakes and they pay dearly for it; with their lives and even with the lives of their generations to come! Sometimes, this mistakes can be avoided only if ego and pride can be kept aside. But you and others have chosen to dwell on the 'it's a man's world'!

Too bad it hurts. But it is the damn truth!

kaboninc:
Part of the consequences is that the man is placed above the woman!

I do not want to argue on this issue. Like smokscreen4 and others, you just decided to pick one side of my view.

If you can't see the other side, just ignore.

Thanks.

by above you mean he can sin and God won't punish him? Or somethings are not a sin when he does it?

Nice interpretation you have for the bible prophet kaboinc.

smokescreen4:
LOL, It is a man's world God loves them more.

lmao.
They don't sin.
Even the adultery commandment in the bible is not meant for them.

God (the way they want us to believe) must really hate women.

Who's the society if not people like you?

Just admit you're as hypocritical as the others which on be all these garnishing
If the wife sleeps with her bro-in-law and apologizes will everything be alright?

Yes or No? You know where to place yourself when you answer that question.

olu4life:
I totally get the drift. Yes, we know our society give men more room to cheat and be forgiven than the other way round.

About that particular thread, felt like responding but didnt. And I stated earlier, our level of forgiving differs, wwhat A accepts, B might condemn if in the same shoe.
I also advised the OP to move on if the husband is yet to apologise and be remorseful. NOTHING CAN BE DONE IF THE HUSBAND REFUSES TO ADMIT HIS FAULT. Thats why I assked some questions earlier to the OP.

Hope its now clear on where I stand on this issue?

Lastly, speaking from the man's angle, dont forget the pressure he might be getting about child ish. BUT DOESNT MEAN HE SHOULD GIVE IN TO THE PRESSURE.
Note my words in capital letter.

The bible cursed women to suffer wandering p5nis from their husbands?

kaboninc:
Speaking about Christianity, maybe you should consult the bible on the curse placed on the women folks by that same God who will judge us.

In as much as I say the world is a men's world, haven't you seen me saying that it is the source of our (men's) undoing and nemesis? Why do you choose to settle on the 'it is a men's world' part? Does it tickle you that much?

After all, most wars and conflicts and crimes ever occurred usually have a woman at the center.

Please be holistic when making reference to my comments so you don't portray me as being one-sided as someone has just caught the bug.

Thanks.

@kimoni, I don't know why nairalanders are disgustingly hypocritical.
You read some posts and want to puke.
Tufiakwa.

@westendel, you should have followed Babyosisi's tactical method. I feel like your sister would have caved under quiet pressure from you in private than that public spectacle you went to create.

Like I said before, don't let anyone guilt you into taking him back. They've started saying he did It because he wants a child. I wonder if it would be ok for you to go try some guy elsewhere for a child too. Or maybe try your husband's brother.

Nne Your life is not meant to be miserable making up for the mistakes of others and your happiness is non-negotiable. You're not created to swallow pain like you're not human and jump up to "work on your home" when the person you're with is not working with you.

Forgiveness is better when it comes from your heart not when hypocrites push you with bible quotations that they easily forget when it is their turn to practice real Christianity.

@that separation. Good idea.

Collect your thoughts calm yourself and make 'your' decision.
Not the decision others feel you should make.

Kimoni:
Olu, can I ask you 2 simple questions.

Are you married?

If your wife whom you love and trust so much cheated on you severally with your own blood brother, what will you do? Fight for her love all over again?

Sincerely, answer these questions.


There is a thread that got to FP yesterday where the guy said he forgave his wife for cheating on him for 5 years with a younger person and I did not find one guy that supported this act, instead, they were all insulting him for daring to forgive a cheating wife. And a lady that "mistakenly" asked if he truly saw the chats proving the infidelity got dragged all over the thread.

Now, back to the question, why should forgiveness only lie with the woman and never with the man? Because women don't get hurt or they probably don't have blood flowing in their veins

Only a man is allowed to start divorce proceedings? But with a woman, it's a taboo??

And any woman advising it must be a hypocrite?? But when men advise divorce to a cheating partner, it's okay?

Please show me exactly where the hypocrisy is coming from.

Chillisauce:
.

Coco, if you wanna enjoy it real good. Eat with pepper suya or grilled fish.

See this my kurukere grilled fish with plenty pepper. I dint know when I finished two glasses Veg and fruit smoothie.

ok

EfemenaXY:
Lol! Yeah it is. Growing kids, huge appetites.

Morning Coco

i can see that.

Well it is Goodnight for me.
off to bed

Meal times must be busy times for you guys

EfemenaXY:
Breakfast before 6:30 a.m on a busy weekday.

Okay, it was hard getting proper shots with the ever changing morning light, but here goes...

~ Hash browns
~ scrambled eggs
~ bacon strips
~ fish fingers
~ ham rolls
~ lettuce
~ cucumber slices
~ cherry tomatoes
~ pancake slices
~ Agege bread

Drinks: Hot chocolate, and orange juice for the little one

Fruits: Golden melon chops, green grapes, and a plum...all in a bid to hit our healthy 5-a-day.

Morning house!

paparazzi1987:
Visa fee is 15K plus 87K ticket, you are good to go

that's nice

PassingShot:
And to know that UAE and other thriving Gulf countries do not practice democracy yet their leaders are visionary and treat their subjects as human beings; unlike us in Africa who have totally embraced democracy with NOTHING to show for it.

It's an absurdity really!

democracy still remains the best system of government.
With democracy, you can vote a leader out if he's not doing according to expectations

But Under a monarch, you're stuck for life. If he's bad, tough luck. Nothing the people can do about it except with serious bloodshed.

How many are lucky to have monarchs that care about development and not only self aggrandizement?

So one good example of monarchy does not mean it beats democracy everywhere.
Then you talk about human rights.
The leader is lord over the lives of the people and can take life if he so pleases. Eesh. So pre-Christ.

Of course democracy is abused in many places especially in Nigeria. That's we don't reap the true fruits of an honest-to-God democratic system.

Brandnew2:
You are actually right cococandy but the 100k budget is true. I figured that out through a traveling agency. The cost does not include accommodation tho'.

ok.