₦airaland Forum

Buhari should do something about this

Pidgin2:
Take it easy, I didn't mean to upset anyone

Onegai:
I think Pidgin2 is Igbo. She said so once on another thread.

Okay

Pidgin2:
I don't think there's any tribe worse than the igbos when it comes to devaluing of the girl child and injustice against women but some how, the average Igbo woman appears clueless to this. It seems as if they are not even aware of the injustice being done against them

You guys really wanna go the tribalism route?
I could off the top of my head count a million things that women are subjected to among other tribes that igbos have since overgrown.
Instead of you guys to talk about your own tribes in line with the topic, you're busy throwing tribal shades at others.

We are not here to sugarcoat stuff. It is about the true things that used to happen in the past some of which unfortunately still happen presently but it's not a competition.

They have started again.

Women hate each other.

One woman should come here and tell me boldly that she hates her fellow women and we will have something to talk about.

Congrats OP. Bless you and your wife.

bukatyne:
Just yes? no further gist?

Oya Olanna45 : I even invited megareal here to talk on that part.

Peppersoup.
Tying of wraps around the belly.
Massages.
Bed rest.

bukatyne:
Na real 'That's a good question'

Most of the stuff I read on foreign women were from their histographers and studying their art.

Considering we were not 'literate' till after colonization, how did we communicate /preserve our history before?

I know we preserved our history from story telling. Although such information is subject to misinterpretation and spicing up as it goes from hand to hand which makes it a little bit unreliable.

However I'm sure if one searches deep enough, there will be written history not colored by western lenses. Where to find them, I don't know.

bukatyne:
Special antenatal/post natal care for the wives? Special rites men were not involved in? Tying of stomachs, special pepper soups etc.

yes to this

Was there any traditional 'kegel'? Focus on restoring her body to pre-pregnancy size?

Lol. I don't know. Maybe olanna knows

bukatyne:
Do we have history books written through our own eyes? Not by the whites?

That's a good question.

Yes please.
For me. I'd looove this

Olanna45:
She said the pre colonial igbo woman. Monogamy became rampant when we embraced westernization

That's what I said. Both poly and monogamy were practiced precolonially (at least in my side of igboland)
but monogamy became the more common to the decline of polygamy after we adopted western culture.

bukatyne:
Happy new year and how are you & fam?

happy new year to you too. We are fine thank you

On divorce part: if a husband divorced his wife who had 4 kids and the wife remarried, the first husband was no longer the father of the existing children culturally? Were divorced women discriminated against or re-absorbed as 2nd to nth wives?

exactly. Yes they were reabsorbed accordingly.

So the wives made money however spent as they deemed fit as the husbands were primary providers?

something like that. However I've heard conflicting accounts of this aspect. So I guess it does depend on individuals

Olanna45, was the Umuada not operative in your culture?

This thread is really gonna be great.

** I have always had this stereotype of ancient Igbo wives staying at home and Igbo husbands been monogamous.

Monogamy was widely practiced as well as polygamy. The reason why it seems like monogamy was more common (in my opinion) is because igbos were very adept at absorbing the western culture. So polygamy went out of fashion fast same as idol worship and myriads of other traditional practices. I doubt many people really remember 100% what was authentic Igbo culture.
The last polygamous men in both sides of my family were my father's great grandfather and my mothers great great grandfather.

Before more tale spinners come, let me add that the idea of a woman who's not married being considered as unfortunate is not a traditional Igbo culture. It came from the west. They gave it a name (spinsterhood) and stigmatized it.
We adopted it and made it our own culture. Now anyone who doesn't agree with it is concerned too western

Off topic: the idea of persecuting 'witches and wizards' also came form the west. We are traditionally idol worshippers which is now considered as witchcraft.

Just adding. Y'all can continue

Mindfulness:
Never mind. Let them fly in, I will make them fly out posing in their panties.

"Posing in their panties"

I'll post more as I remember

This is one thread where misogynists will have a field day spinning the lies that dance around in their fantasies

OP I'll still encourage you to read up some more on this topic from reliable history books. You can't really take people's words for it because most people have a 'Utopic' concept of how the olden days used to be. Usually based on their personal fantasies

Mindfulness:
Stillfire or Stillwater is the best pick to give you what you are looking for. I think she has already opened a thread that beautifully debunked the myth that our foremothers were meek sheep with no political and financial power and prowess. Check out her profile (I hope it still exists?).

One book that I can recommend is 'Women in Igbo Life and Thought'.

*In my side of igboland, that must have male child thing was and is still despicably common.

*The man was/should be the provider. However recent times have changed this as we all know.

*Divorce was frowned upon but was not uncommon. Women used to divorce their husbands and husbands could divorce their wives based on factors ranging from maltreatment to infidelity.

*divorced women used to remarry all the time. Factor in polygamy and you'd see this wasn't far fetched. However the new husband claimed ownership of the children the woman has since he's the person who has paid the new bride price. It sometimes led to conflict especially where male children are concerned because they would recognize the brideprice paying man over the biological father. Still despicably happens until today.

Submission was not required. (It is a foreign concept that came with Christianity) If a man treats his wife bad, she could go back to her father's house and upon investigation, he may be sanctioned by the umuada and the wife appealed with to go back to him (remember they didn't like divorce). But that still happened anyway.
However respect was required.

Wives were encouraged to be industrious. With a polygamous setting, that's common sense anyway isn't it?

Yes a woman could marry another woman for procreation purposes. Any young lad can do the job of getting her pregnant but the child/ren belongs to the woman who paid the bride price (wonder why bride price is so important to them)

eyinjuege:
Sadly, the elderly are prone to abuse and manipulations by their loved ones.
Some even beat their elderly frail grandparents who usually act "funny" from undiagnosed dementia. Grandkids that do such copy their own parents who are abusive.

Who knows how many old people suffering from dementia/Alzheimer's have been tormented to death in the name of witchcraft.

Rochas Rochas. The evil emperor

How's a child this age even a houseboy?

jnrbayano:

I'm not angry. I promise

Not always

Freedom of worship is an indisputable right of every human being

Seun:
If they didn't believe that witches actually exist, there would've been no reason for them to do this. False beliefs have harmful consequences.

true

That's true sha.
Many of those Nigerian big shop retailers sell a lot of replicas. Yet they swear they are selling authentic.
I saw one on Instagram the other day and she was trying to sell me a lady dior bag for #70,000.
I just gently ingnored her.
LD sells for around 1-2k dollars used. Sometimes up to $5k new depending on material. I'm sure one naija big girl will go buy it and trot around in the name of carrying Christian Dior bag.

But even if her bag is authentic (or not ) I don't understand why people always have to talk about how much they spend on their wardrobes. Their money their business.

I would buy any bag I can afford regardless of how much it cost ($10k limit even if I were Mrs Gates).

However Some people will never spend more than $100 on one bag. And it is all okay as long you're not starving yourself or your children of necessary things just to buy luxuries.

We are all different.

hkd11:
Pls l keep saying it. Apart from linda. I repeat it no one of dem can go to the gucci shop to get it for that amount. So many replicate out there. To to versace shop and see how much its goes for comaore to how much big shop sell it in nigeria. When a versace top only above goes above 1000 euros in marbella spain. And the same shirt u will see it in a big boy ship for 45000 naira. So how come. My dear those bags dem no fit try am. Uche ogbodo wey enter only zara for here dey shout say shuooo na so things cost for here.. When she see price she fear... We know where they get dem.
... So leave this news

You people have started again. Leave her alone. Stop policing others on what they choose to spend their monies on.

WHOcarex:
Does asking for a fair treatment makes one a feminist?

Sadly, that is the case in Nigeria.

There's nothing sad about it.
That's what feminism is all about

Roland17:
Coco,

Happy new year, i hope you and your family are doing great.

I am at a similar crossroad as you are. I do have some loose change (about $1500), with which i want to test the authenticity of his business, however, i am wondering if it is worth the stress, because i am very huge on communication when transacting business.

I no like wahala or headache for my life.

Happy new year too. Yes we are all fine.

I understand the part of is worth the stress?
But western union and moneygram are not trying at all.

I have not tried him though. Read some reviews on his mentions page and saw a lot of positive remarks

That man will die a miserable death:

And handsome men don't flirt?

Toks2008:
Stop twisting things lady...we both know what I'm talking about.

A lady who is hot and knows she is sometimes hardly ever stay with one man...how can you bring this into the subject matter?

An ex that i made a woman told me she feels caged having spent all her life (13)years with me bla bla bla and I knew it was time she wanted to explore the world and I let her be but you know why she feels that way?..because she is hot. If she was a lady of average beauty she would sit tight ...

Similar story is everywhere so it's a fact that most hot ladies have issues but are usually forced to calm down when life teaches them a lesson or two...

Abeg make I sleep..gnight.

ephi123:
Hahaha! Oh my goodness, funniest thing I've read all day

He's got his fans..

That I can see.