₦airaland Forum

Clone2020:
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Starting the new year with foolish sexist posts are we?

lastpage:
The matter has been reported to POLICE man times
The matter is currently in COURT and he is on bail, right?

Why bring the matter to Nairaland again, or what are we supposed to do, that the Police and the Court cannot do?

Obviously, it does not take much thinking to know that this woman is up to something she is not disclosing!

How come your husband keep accusing you of being a HARLOT, on many occasions, with different people?
Is it that he is mad or what?

What exactly are you after?
If he beats you this much, why not just divorce him .... or even stay away from him?

Women like this wife will not desist until they ruin the life of their husband.

Just say you are provoking him so he can beat you and then get sent to jail.

Dem never deform you sef.
Winch! Oloshi!!




Lastpage!

Going after the side chick could sometimes lead to the total loss of your marriage.

Like the marriage wasn't already lost.

He refused going to the police station, instead he called her older brother who lived in the same state with them and told him he’s had enough of his sister's excesses , he’s done with the marriage

Someone who's cheating is calling their spouses annoyance over his behavior excesses?

That's it. I'm done. Hands up.

Too much foolishness in one post.

It thought your post was going to be about not fighting the mistress but facing the man who's breaking his vows to you. Instead it was a pile of horse dung spiced with bullpoo.

Can't be starting this new year with stupidity. Get some sense pls.

After you'll wonder why you're disliked.

oloyede252:
@ op. cooling off with another lady at this time for you is not cheating. it's like helping your wife cos you don't wanna disturb her with your demands. let her rest well but for the main time enjoy the service of a side chick. am sure your wife will understand. anyway contact me for unilag babes, yabatech babes etc that will give you styles that will make you forget your wife till she is ready.



p.s am not married o.

davidif:
So....

I actually replied it.

davidif:
Girl, u are making me look like Drake hahaha, I feel like one of the contestants on the bachelorette. How embarrassing? haha

Sorry

davidif:
OK, i give up. what do you wanna know?

I already asked.

cococandy:
How old are you? What do you do for a living? Where do you live? What are your short and long term goals?

I'll send you an email if answers are satisfactory:

@bold, actually they wouldn't. They only pick the verses that favor them to repeatedly teach. All the other verses that tell them to humble themselves, honor their wives etc etc are usually ingnored.

DarkRebel101:
You expend excess energy on these hypocritical, Bible-thumping fanatics whose ways are already set in stone. Your arguments can never win them over.

Enough with the diplomacy, the truth should be trumpeted unalloyed: these people have no working brains, no mind of their own; they are idiøts who think they are wise, môrons who need a book to think for them, and slaves oblivious of their mental incarceration.
If the Bible instructed that they drink their father's urine every third day of the month, I'd wager my every penny that they'd gladly adhere.

They quote the parts of the scripture that foster social injustice and seem to support the vices in which they are recidivists, but choose to leave out the passages that asperse these vices .

Is it not from the same Bible we learned a woman caught in the act of adultery was to be stoned to death. Nothing in the Bible mentions anything about the man having stones pelted at him, as if the woman committed adultery with herself. Obviously, the system had always been lopsided, and the hierarchical construct in the time our holy books were scripted was largely tilted to the favour of men.

What they don't realize is that the Bible is hardly infallible, and is by and large the brainchild of sexism and male chauvinism inherent in the epochs it was written.

Male chauvinism through the Bible was only branded with the stamp of God to make it appear absolute and divine—a contrivance of the founding fathers of Christendom meant to socially engineer the masses and reinforce patriarchy.

Very contradictory.
some of these responses aren't well thought out. Like what would happen if 'obeying him' involves going against her godly beliefs? He's still her head and she has to be subject to him?
Before you go saying "didn't she know before marrying him?"
We don't live in a perfect world so that perfect man may change to something else anytime. Even a so called pastor. The sensible thing to do is to step up. Not sit there mumbling prayers and obeying his ungodly dictates like someone without a brain. I believe god gave us common sense for a reason. So it should be applied at all times.

The bible also said to here's no male or female in Christ. That we are all one. Galatians 3:28.
So a woman can assume any role as long as they have an understanding before and during the marriage.

People use the Bible to further their personal mischievous agenda and I'm frankly getting tired of it. See how I used that verse to further my argument? So can any portion of the Bible be used by anyone to propagate their personal feelings. I don't take people who can't argue based on common sense seriously.

I think common sense rules first. Before any social, religious or cultural/traditional do's and dont's. So in a marriage where one partner is lacking in one strength e.g leadership abilities, the other needs to step up and be that for the family. Roles (besides biological) should not be based on physical anatomy but on who's more capable.

You make your lives a lot more harder because of the boxes you try to fit yourselves and others in.

It's fine however you want to run your marriage because variety is the spice of life (right?). We can't all be the same but to pronounce judgment on others because they don't fit the box you think they should be in, is reprehensible in my opinion.

MrPresident1:
Well, I think this is the case of unbelieving spouses. Maybe the man changed from what he used to be during courtship, but still the woman has to submit to him because he is her head. Peter says of the woman -that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

The conduct of a good woman will win her the heart of her husband eventually.

He is her head, she can pray to God for him, and in her conduct she can win him back to God. But she cannot usurp the hierarchy.

Mindfulness:
To those who it may concern ...

Exactly

Coyotejack:
If that was a question without a question mark...then
Yes. She can......

Cc Mrpresident1

Coyotejack:
She should....and pray for her man....

So a woman can be the spiritual leader then.

Really simple

MrPresident1:
In a family, there is hierarchy and the man is at the top of the food chain. The man is the Pastor in the house, he is the one responsible for the family doctrine, and its code of morality. If the man is a godly person, the doctrine of the home will be very sound. And that is the role of the spiritual leader

So what happens if the man is not godly and the woman wants to follow the godly path?
Should she not reject his moral code,practice hers and try to teach same to their kids?
Should she not assume the role of the spiritual leader and guide the man back onto the right path if possible.

CFCman:
The person is probably referencing the part of the Bible that essentially declares that the man is the Priest of the house. Its why many Nigerian ladies on social are now (from my observation) gushing over the fact that their men lead them in prayers or bible study .

Well that's a positive development. It's only a problem when it is now considered that women are not worthy to lead in prayers or bible study in the home. That would be real sh*tty.

oloyede252:
wow.
one question for you " are you not product of a sexist chauvinistic society"

I see reason why you dislike some Nigerian men.lol

@bold being the operative word.

Some have managed to grow beyond accepting things that don't make sense just because that's how it always has been. Those I don't dislike.

We women are also a product of the same society. And you can see the pathetic manifestation in the words and carriage of some women too.
Does that mean I hate Nigerian women?

See?

How does one provide spiritually for another?
So much vagueness and ambiguity going on here.
Explain that please.

MrPresident1:
You do have a very strong point. I think we just need to be clear on the terms we are using. The man is both the physical and spiritual head of the home, I am sure you agree with this. He is vested, by the Almighty God, with the responsibility to provide both physically and spiritually for his home.

The woman being his support and help will provide the critical support and backup as needed.

I am sure you do not mean that the woman would assume the role of physical and spiritual leader? As support and backbone, I agree, but as head? It is not Biblical.

The head is nothing without the neck, as the neck is useless without a head.

MrPresident1:
Are you the spiritual leader in your own home?

That's not the answer to my question. And we are not talking about me. Even if I am or not, will it affect the answer to the question of 'Does God only listen to men?'

BTW what's your definition of a spiritual leader?
1)The one who prays on behalf of the family?

2)The one who teaches morals to the members of the family (laughable is the idea that some of those same Nigerian men who see no wrong in their own philandering and disrespectful behavior also assume mantles of spiritual leadership ). I digress.

3) I don't know educate me on what the role of a spiritual leader is. Then we can proceed from there.

davidif:
Come on! you trying to put me on blast?

No. I'm not.

It's just because I'm selective to the PMs I accept.

MrPresident1:
A woman can never be the spiritual backbone of a home, it does not follow

Because God doesn't answer the prayers of women?

Acidosis:
This is pointless. I believe my points have been well noted.

Faced with objective analysis and nothing well thought out to say in response.

100

Voice2:
God help our minds that have been so conditioned by society. The services of a maid will not come free o. And there are other adverse costs that hiring a maid might bring to the family, esp with regards to their effects on kids. Now, if his cutting tomatoes and vegetables would help avoid these costs and the man has the time, shouldnt he rather do it?

Op visits the couple so that "people" will not say... Then she assesses the home and concludes that they are trying to run their marriage like "the whiteman's" but should run it like an "african's."

Mindset. Mentality.

Please let's set ourselves free. People are first and foremost persons, individuals that are free to live their lives however they choose to. stop the narrowmindedness.

And with your mindset OP, isn't it a shame that the man left you, a woman on seat to get busy? Since women should be such workhorses, shouldn't you be in your own house, busy doing all the dirty work?

I kind of understand though, if you are not married. Reality will set in when you do - and this isnt said derogatorily.

Acidosis:
Yes, the same hypocrisy that gave a man a dck and a woman a pzzzy, instead of a dck for a man and a dck for a woman.

I call it divine hypocrisy.

Hehehe. You've lost it.

It's there for procreation. Because if we all had vaginas or all had p3nises. You wouldn't exist to type this.

It's not there for you to jump around town with. Or even if you chose to, To act like someone else (a woman) doesn't have those same rights. Sauce for the goose.

Acidosis:
I'm a realist.. You're the same lady who said you'll rather quench than solicit funds from an ex.

It shows you have self-respect and dignity.

Now let me ask you:

If your in-laws, hubby and the whole world stumble on you in bed with a lover boy, would you remain in the marriage, even when your hubby is ready to let go?

Yes it is between me and him. If he is ready to let go and I still love him, I'll stay.

No you're not a realist. You're a product of a sexist chauvinistic society who has his head buried so deep in his ass ego that he can't see the truth right in front of him. You keep telling yourselves what you want to hear to make yourselves feel better about being randy goats about town. But it doesn't change the FACT that when a man cheats, he evokes in his wife, the same exact feelings he would feel when his wife does the same to him. None is better than the other.

You use shame, religion, traditions built on foundations of misogyny and whatever tools you can lay your hands on to enforce tolerance from women. It doesn't change the fact that it is just as bad. If women were built to tolerate it, many men would not have lost their lives at the hand of jealous wives. Men wouldn't be getting STDs if philandering is what they are built for.
How's that for being REAL? Versus the idea of the 'man's world' AKA fool's paradise that you have been imbided with from birth and which you're hell bent on passing onto the next generations.

EfemenaXY:
There's nothing unrealistic about the comparison. What's good for the goose is just as good for the gander.



A lot more than you know.

A man isn't the be-all-and-end-all of a woman's life. Besides AIDS is real.



Really?

Breathtaking hypocrisy.

@bold tell me about it.

Sometimes I've to pause and gasp to catch my breath again.

Like how can one be so hypocritical and not even realize it?

Acidosis:
Have you ever fallen in love ?

What does the love matter?

The shame conquers isn't it so?

Acidosis:
...walk away from the relationship (bond), not a home I built with my money.

You're being unrealistic by making baseless comparison. How many married women can walk away from their matrimonial home because of one single side chick?

For a man, shame won't allow him accept the philandering woman. Even the woman won't want to stay (out of shame) whether the husband forgives or not. You can't compare

Oh and here we are.
It's different when it's the woman.
But acceptable when it's the man.
The crux of the matter.

You are Oblivious to how sexism has colored your perspective. Suddenly the love and the years put into the marriage doesn't matter anymore.
Now the shame conquers right? Oh the man can forget the love and years put into the marriage but when it's the woman it's unheard of.

Ridiculous and Pathetic. Who can take this seriously? You can't even stand by your words. No integrity.

What happens if they built the house together? Versus the man building it with 'his money?'

And who are you to speak for women if they want to stay or not after having cheated. You're the one imagining they would be too ashamed to stay.
Why does this shame not apply to the man.

Can you now see how ridiculous your posts all along have been?

davidif:
Let me contact you via PM to give you the details

Details here. PM follows

Acidosis:
I'll surely walk away, after dude must have lost one of his limbs.

But you will walk away.
From the woman you love sooo much and the home you've built for years because of some hungry side dude.

So why is it unreal for you to believe that others can too? How come they are the ones running from reality but at the same time you'd do same if you were in their shoes.

So you would not walk away from a wife who has a dude or dudes on the side? To the point of the the guy being bold enough to insult you with derogatory things your wife told him about you.

Be honest.

Acidosis:
A time will come when I'll stop posting on Nairaland. Its hard really trying to deal with people who run away from reality.


I can imagine them walking away from the same home they've built for years because of one hungry side chick; walking away from the man they love sooo much.


Welcome to Nairaland

davidif:
Madam, i am still waiting for your answer.

See, this shows persistence.

How old are you? What do you do for a living? Where do you live? What are your short and long term goals?

I'll send you an email if answers are satisfactory:

Acidosis:
No, the wife should make the husband's controllable irresponsibility unattractive to whores.


By the time you give a few whores thunderous slaps, they'll tell stories. You know bad stories spread faster.

Really?

Acidosis:
Yes please

You're hilarious