₦airaland Forum

wristbangle:
Can we see the pix madam?

Khutie:
Will yhu grant me the permission to xay... YHU RE BEAUTIFUL

Stelvin101:
Mine is getting Bae engaged on her Birthday being 25th. At first she got shocked, confused and ran on seeing me on ma kneels with a ring but later came back and said Yes!

silverr:
Then you misunderstood me, I initially said he's financially ok. but she refuses gifts from him but instead over spends on him, not like he asks for it. Thats what annoys me. I just mentioned what she did and what he did cus of those saying money is the factor pulling her / him cus I want people to really understand the circumstance so the advice doesn't seem off point.

silverr:
I dont know how to answer this question o before someone says that I'm defending him,
Anyway, he is still very okay financially, he just told her that he used to have far more. Plus his family members she has met so far are all boxed up.

Like I said earlier, I didn't go too deep as I didnt want to offend my friends or the guy. Plus you never can tell who is reading, so when questions began to pop up, I just had to shed a little more light.
He actually bought her a car on her birthday but she returned as she feels he shouldn't be making such expenses when he should be re-investing. But I feel she's now the one overspending.

Lady39:
Hi,
You are somewhat correct. A woman can have it all...just NOT at the same time. If a woman intends to raise a family, there are some professions/careers that just aren't compatible with doing that. She can't have a successful thriving career at the same time she's trying to raise a healthy, Godly, and well-balanced family.
Examples: Doctor, Lawyer, TV Anchor, Engineering, Careers in the fields of science, business world, Professors and others etc...very difficult to balance a family and maintain these careers.
If she has a husband who is willing to take on the role of "house-husband" or she hires a full-time nanny, or has steady help from relatives, it will be a most challenging position.

Doctorfitz:
Ur dp it's background .

Doctorfitz:
U a lawyer?

bukatyne:
The guy in question sounds like Maje, Toke's ex.

They are both smooth.

Even if the 3 girls are terrible and he is a saint, doesn't it question his sense of judgement?

Merry Christmas dear

silverr:
lol, nawa o,no be fight nau
Like i said earlier, I dont want it to be like I camw and painted him black for people to condem him.

merry xmas

blogAlive:
I had same opinion, but she said she loved him and had put a lot into the marriage. Is there still a away to savage this situation and let justice prevail, jungle justice is starring at the corner, waiting to be unleashed o.

SpaxeX:
Nne! you too much o

baby124:
The lady married a man who did not want to marry her at all. The fact is, she either move on and pray the man changes his mind or stay and endure it. I don't think any human being is worth it enough to put another in constant torment and pain. Never make another human being that important in your life. I do not believe in manipulating the man to make him stay. His heart is somewhere else. Let her not push him to killing her to finally be able to be with whom he wants to be with. At some point one has to start thinking about what is best for them for sanity sake. Personally I will never be some where I am not wanted or respected. This life is hard enough.

Blackbolt:
financial help ma

Blackbolt:
me I tire o. Bill gattes wey im papa buy computer give for 1980 something when computer dey cost.
If I get computer or even touchscreen phone i for dey here dey cry?
People think great people started from nothing. You can't put nothing into a child and expect something. Garbage in garbage out.

CFCman:
Interesting

If I were a parent, I'd insist that my daughter(s) reach 25 before getting married. But if their suitors seem to be responsible and emotionally mature men, and my daughter also displays maturity at a younger age, I wouldn't mind them getting married earlier.

thorpido:
If I meet Cococandy at 23yrs and she says I want to marry now,I'll say, why not but if 'Amaka' at 23yrs says I want to marry now,I'll ask her, why do you?

bukatyne:
Splendid and you?

CFCman:
Wow
That's super early. I know a friend who got married at 22

Berbierklaus:
I wonder what will push me into marriage at this age
How I'm I supposed to enjoy my youthfulness in marriage,someone will just turn to old mama Lolz.....

@OP I think you should listen to everyone here,get something doing that can cater for you and your kids.
Live with this man as flat mates,decide whether to leave him by divorcing or stay behind and celebrate 50 years of marriage in agony .

bukatyne:
If you were content loving him without him loving you back then, what changed now? And I don't believe you just noticed his cheating now.

To be honest, I don't think separation will do you any good. If you couldn't choose well at 23 when you were without kids, had the world at your feet and obviously more liable to seek romance, what is the probability you will choose well at 26 with 2 kids?

I will advise you to read baby124's post over and over again.

Forget his love, it wasn't important; strive for his respect and financial responsibility esp to the kids.

Get a source of income and stop engaging him from a supplicating or needy standpoint. Be more assertive (note I didn't say rude) and carry yourself with grace.

With time, he will behave better towards you; afterall, he has acknowledged you are a 'good' wife whom he doesn't just fancies/loves.

Goodluck.

baby124:
Let me give you some pearls of wisdom:

People marry for several reasons. Some for love, age, beauty, security or kids. Not everyone gets married for love. In fact in my observation most don't. But the most important factor that probably keeps most marriages going is respect and a willingness to work on the marriage. Also a willingness to be selfless and change what is obviously sabotaging that marriage.

One thing I have learnt in life is that there are all kinds of people. A majority of people lack deep thought. If you are a thoughtful person you will realize this. A lot of us are shallow and act without truly thinking. We also mostly act selfishly. When you truly realize this you will know how to handle people more. The things they do will not hurt you. Instead you would look at things from a practical angle and decide what you want to do.

Also, another factor that most people don't understand is mental illness. We Nigerian's tend to try to explain an obvious mental instability. A person that constantly puts you down and degrades you is not mentally ok. A person that cannot empathize or lacks empathy, is not mentally ok. A person that can attempt to sleep with your sister, is not mentally ok. A person that willingly puts those around him, their health and safety is jeopardy is not mentally ok. A man that cannot listen to his father, will not make a good role model as a father. That is if the father is a good man. We don't know the reason for that rift.

At the end of the day, we have the power to decide what we accept in our lives. You have to be selfish about yourself to survive in this life. But not selfish to the point where you hurt other's. Just selfish enough to know your limits and know you cannot change anyone. You also must have a plan for your future. If you have a plan for your life my dear, anything trying to derail that plan will quickly be thrown away.

Lastly, dont let a man with obvious mental and self esteem issues bring you down to his level. You look in the mirror and know you are not ugly. He says that to keep a hold of you to abuse you for his own sick desires. He keeps you there with abuse to have someone to frustrate when he is frustrated. You came to this world alone, and you will be buried alone. The path to your happiness and fulfillment does not lie in any human's hands. Be wise and wake up.

EfemenaXY:
Lol! Tell me about it.

En route to do my pressie shopping. I've finally got the Xmas bug oh!