₦airaland Forum

j-girl:
Malice is not good. I concur.
These days i'm forcing myself to be more open because apparently, friends hate me doing that. There's only one person I don't do that with and that's just because he won't hear of it. He's too immature to process my outbursts so i have to tell him everything as soon as he does it. The good thing is that I'll soon leave him alone and then he'll miss that about me. Guys are so confused, i swear it.
I love psychology. Malice is a thing of immaturity but speaking your mind out or listening to it is a sign of maturity and an eagerness to work things out. Silence does not help any relationship and arguments will not go away just because you refuse to talk to each other.

awwwwww,
We all have that one special person we can always go thrash things out with. For me it's a him and girl his wife hates it. I must admit sometimes I really rile her up for the fun of it , Bad me,

But honestly, I don't keep malice, I may severe ties, but the malice I cant do, my parents taught me much better than that love.

The beauty of the brain is it's compartment. No men are not confusing, that is what they want us to believe. Take for instance a man exercising what resides in his ID(subconscience).Honey have you noticed how fat the neighbour is getting? Now you know you are thicker than the neighbour, so the conversation in it self has no merit. It's just that he thinks you are fat was is afraid to tell you. My advise is not to beat up one's self trying to understand a breed of people who themselves dont understand their very existence. I would rather be out shopping than waste it trying to understand them,

j-girl:
Lol! What 3 siblings? I can handle him but siblings? no way! they will kill their mama before her time

Oh Lord! tell me about it. I found my first grey today while "shaving"

j-girl:
As for the mama thing. She loves me very much. She's known me since i was 8. I feel I need to explain my side to her. I'll make it right with him but I know he's NOT the one. The One does not exist so i'm lowering my expectations. Who knows? He just might be my solution to all my problems.

Nice that you two get along. Truth is I am not into the whole "inlaw" thingy. I think as long as they can control your home, then you are the best person. But if they can't then you are a beast. I can do without them. That's why if I do settle for one, she will have to make an appointment in advance before she can visit, EXCEP in the event of an emergency

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, DOn't think of him as a solution there, just as a substitute until better can be done

j-girl:
I believe in bottling alright. It's the best way to deal with things. If anyone is not used to someone being so upfront about their feelings, they should come to me, I'll teach them how. I grew up in a family where we learn to keep a lot of stuff to ourselves as a family. If the person keeps doing it, they know when i'm pissed off. I love being observative which is one of the things I learnt by studying psychology for a semester. Study someone and when you meet them with it, they'll know you're right and they will know you've been watching them. it's best not to react instantly. Just react with time and research.

I agree with you to a certain extent, however, I still do the "on the spot" attack. Don't get me wrong dear, I can be discreet. I utilize that method more to the end. When I know for a fact there is no hope. I have grown tired and would rather just nip it permanently in the butt . Psychology is my love. I am amazed at the mind, and how people can be so devilish in their dealings with others. The thing is I ask one quesion, a million different ways. It is done, not because I am dumb, but to further confuse the individual. They say a liar has no memory, right? .

Either way, malice is NOT good in any relationship, platonic or else. It only gives way to greater issues. The last time I checked, we all have one head each, so no need in being scared to voice what is eating you.

LOL. yea of course you will be godmother to him and his 3 other siblings .

Well per the 'mama hating issue". Let her hate, she is entitled to that.

ANd do follow your instincts and make it right with the dude. Who knows, maybe He is the ONE

j-girl:
You don't have to keep malice to get your point across. You just have to take a stand.
If he's angry, let him be as angry as he wants to.
The secret is to act as if you do not care.

Malice is something i'm not really used to. I like acting like nothing happened then there's that one day when everything bursts out like a turbulent waterfall. That day for me, will have been my day of overbearing. I usually say it's best just to talk it out or just walk out on him. Find something better to do with your time. Spend time with things that help you take your mind off the argument and things that make you happy. When you are settled, go ahead and go back to him by that time you would have calmed down.

Here is where we differ honey. I dont believe in bottling up your feelings. People suffer heart attack by doing such. I am a very blunt and upfront person so I am a believer of the "NOW not Later" strategy in dealing with conflicts. I want it out of my system. The thing is if I stay to long to deal with it, I lose interest in the person or persons involved and sometimes may never know what actually transpired. One thing I can assure you though, is even when I am mad at my significant other, I wont ever let anyone around knows. I won't insult or give 'tell-tale" signs that things aren't going well. I believe in dealing with that person on my private watch

j-girl:
Before Labour Day? that's nice.
Safeguard your behind real well. We don't want you in any trouble now, do we?

Trouble ke? No way jare, heard the prisons in Lancaster County are horrible

j-girl:
Can you believe that I'm actually on the verge of apologizing to some dude as well? I don't know why they make you do this.
I really thought he was a slimeball

Do what's right lovey, Remember it has nothing to do with the person. It's ALL about you
AS per the 'slimeball" issue. Well it's better thinking they are, than actually finding out they ARE

j-girl:
Awwwww,
Bigger person? I won't say anything about that but you should know why i'm laughing my head off here. Just go and apologize. Whether accepted or not, you will be respected for that.

Yes! I do know why you are indeed lol your silly head ,

And it's so not about the other person right now, it's so all about me. I don't care about their state of mind, I am safeguarding my behind . But I will make things right before Labour Day.

onyinye2:
Giving people the constant benefit of the doubt, will get you in some deep mess. Sometimes you have to go with you intuition.

Oyinye honey, you are so right

j-girl:
You don't even understand the half of it.
Just go to the person and apologize. If the person is half the man or woman that he/she should be, they would understand why you judged them that way. It's hard though to realize you have been wrong.

Girl easier said than done. But my sister promises to accompany me. Funny though, she never liked the individual ,  But I will make it right. Afterall, I am being the bigger person here. The worse they can do is reject my apology, Then it won't be my burden anymore.

j-girl:
I love that mantra. I love it especially when they all try to prove girls wrong and then end up being like just the other guys.
It's even more hilarious when my best guy friend tries to conform to what other guys ideally are. That's the only guy on the face of this earth that has my back 100%. It's a pity that other guys are nothing like him. From the very very first time i talked to him, I just knew he was different from the rest and he's still hasn't changed till today

I can attest to that highlighted portion of "scripture".

Yea I know, and it makes it even more hilarious when they try so hard, thinking they have it down-packed , fools,

On a more lighter note though, I am convinced now, after so many years, that I may have judged someone terribly wrong. looking back, am thinking of a unique way to make ammends . What chat think?

j-girl:
I have never judged a man ENTIRELY wrong.
ON the other hand, i have judged a man, he convinced me that i was wrong to judge him that way and then at the end, he was exactly how i judged him to be.

Been there, Done that love. I am with you 100%. The thing is in life we must give pple the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, they always prove themselves right, thus my new mantra: Guilty until Proven Innocent,