₦airaland Forum

j-girl:
Lol!

You crazy!

I know na, erhmmm. my "shrink" confirmed it last week. Therefore under no circumstance am I responsible for my actions

j-girl:
I told you, I want to be a trophy wife jare. I want to have so much money and no worries.

You've got that right. I am too sexy to work dread , I will even have him hire a "baby carrier" for the nine months, just to ensure I dont lose my figure LOL,

j-girl:
I'm at the stage where i'm trying to understand the difference. So many guys take one as the other.
I want love but with the way things are going. . . . . I'm going to say i'm at the stage where i'm looking for sex.
Friends WITH BENEFITS ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[b], WORD!![/b]

@topic
SECURITY, SECURITY, SECURITY( FINANCIAL) God forbid if I lose my job, and cannot pay my bills, rent, etc that someone can afford. Afterall, I do "work" for him otherwise now
Well I aint saying am a gold digger, but I aint messing with broke-ass nigga,

eldee:
@topic
Adventure, Fun, Conquests, Stories to tell my grandkids

See your face, conquests from where? , I visited the AIDS ward today and I saw many "Conquistadors". Soalang, have "fun". Just know the black dresses in my wardrobes are far too sexy to wear to funerals

loffers:
what happened 2 your legs

LOL, almost lost them to Kamasutra

ROFLMSFAO, I swear I haven't laughed this much since I got my legs back,

Just goes to show the lengths some guys would go through to try and out-smart women. Thank God, we are catching on.

@Poster, this was very very funny, but true to a T,

jaquan:
this guy are you really that jobless abeg no the crowd nairaland thread with rubbish hard and nice guy my balls!

Jaquan, be nice , That's why it's called a forum, where a vagrant can be KING,

@topic
Youngies, although I dont see him around anymore

and this guy, Dreldee or something like that, (excuse me if I didnt spell your moniker correctly)

@topic
Ori, nice to hear your confession, however this is a person thing. IT is very easy being faithful. Those who have issues with being faithful need to seek the face of God.

Ori, this generalization thingy is becoming a thorn in my flesh.  Yea. sometimes, based on experience with a certain genre, one may want to think that they are all alike, however, we must be openminded when making statements of this magnitude.

To answer your question, I like my guys both nice and hard. Mind you many "little boys" in big men clothes somehow think being a "hard" guy means being abusive( in all forms). Here is where education comes in. Being hard does NOT at all entails those issues. 

A nice guy can be hard and vice versa. My other half posses both qualities. He is hard, yet very nice.

doyin13:
Oya je ki Malu yi fa Obo re ya

Go look under your mama's bed. It's right there. I dont have time to waste on you and your likes today. Go to YIM and crucify me like y'all ALWAYS do.  I have to go nurture Zing. Bats,

doyin13:
I am Ewure, you are Egufe. . . .we suppose dey marinate for inside the same stew.

hehehehe

Ur papa goat head , malu oloko dudu

eldee:
Aight let's do it like this, you kill the person, I'll turn myself in for it, deal?
Hmmn . . . me ke?
If you leave a lethal injection with her, she'll stab you without blinking
Not like these all talk women Nairaland breeds every week

So it's like this, eh?? , Don't worry as long as you behave yourself like the gentleman your momma raised I wont be needing to stick you ,

doyin13:
Hubba Hubba now. . . .Lady, you're turning me on

Sharrapp, I would rather go turn on Zing, than rumble with you ewure

doyin13:
hahaha. .still the same ol same ol

the post is disappointingly short though.

Now eldeethis na one woman wey you suppose fear.

Yea and so should your ass too.  I wont use rat poison, but will use cyanide instead. I will lace the condom f to make sure your d.ick goes first, olodo

My answer is indeed short because I am tired wasting my time with y'all.

doyin13:
I think I know who this is. . . . hehehehehe

You don't know SIR JACK by any chance

Yea I do, and He asked me (from beyond the grave) to tell u to Kiss bout our tails,
, I see ur informants havent disappoint me at all. nitwits,

Queenisha:
at 13 what do you know about cheating ma dear?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Queenisha:
If a man cheats ,the woman kwa should find a young 19 year old bobo and cheat so that when it is judged,  everyone will be speaking the same language.

_{Just a thought,didn't mean to say it out loud}

LOL, Word Osisi, word,

Sisikill:
It is a wake up call to married women, telling them It doesn’t end as soon as the ring is on their fingers. So get off the freaking couch, brush the puff-puff crumbs off your heavy chests, wipe your oily mouths, empty the Minerals bottle, switch off the Nigerian movies and stop being complacent about your marriage because guess what. . . there are younger, prettier vultures ready to pounce on your husbands.

Before I get crucified, I’m only summarizing the post because people thought it was too long. So maybe I added a few of my own words. . . but the gist remains the same.

Personally, I think since a guy is going to cheat even if his wife is the gentlest, prettiest, kindest, most submissive, best cook/love maker/mother -person in all of the land, the wives shouldn’t waste their time trying to keep him from going outside. Instead, they should get on their knees and take it to our father. . . fast and run around the house naked if you have to, just PRAY.
Your prayer point - That the babalawo preparing the juju for the girls gets distracted and mistakenly mixes rat poison with it. Kill the hubby and the girl in one fell swoop and the beauty of it. . . no one will think you had anything to do with it, they’ll even feel sorry for you. Of course, getting rid of them is just the beginning. . . you have to work really hard on your sad face, you DO NOT want to show too much happiness as you spend his money yanfunyanfu.

Again this is just me. . . some of you may have different ideas like arsenic or amonia, different strokes for different folks, just as long as it works.

Sisi, prayers cannot save of them. They have gone too far to turn back. ONLY Jesus himself, can come down and touch them. Heal them and save them

syren:
We've never said we can't control ourselves which is what the men seem to be using as their excuse. And I think if a man feels it's ok to cheat for the sake of an "adventure" then he shouldn't complain when his woman turns around and does the same thing.

It's the society that has made Men the way they are. Don't lose sleep over trying to make sense of it. A man can have 5 women on the same block and he is praised as being 'da man". A woman goes out on a date with 2 different guys in 4 months, and she is a LovePeddler. Utter nonsense, and even more ignorance. Better there were no schools,

1. Dont get jealous, get even,

2. Guilty until proven Innocent,

3. Love with your head, and NEVER your heart,

4. karma is a bitch.

5. What God intends for you, NO ONE can take it,

6. Treat your fellowmen exactly the same way you wish them to treat you.

7. NEVER damn the bridge you have crossed.

8. Be nice to the people on your way, because you will encounter them on your way back.

vivaladiva:
code red your damn rite what is good for the goose is good for the" we all know the answer to that one)
and i make no appologies

ROFLMFSAOWPIMP , I hear u dear. My exact sentiments. No need getting worked up and cried out, when you can simply get even. Right? ,
Eldee I pray you are listening. Women have stopped taking cheating. They are retaliating too

eldee:
How will I go to heaven and explain to Apostle Paul that I lived in the 21st Century and I've only been with one woman?
The realest men you'll ever think of had concubines and mistresses
Ever heard of Helen of Troy? See what hormones cause?
So Sango and other legends where not real men?
Please don't say what you're not sure of

Dont even bring your Bible into this, If Sampson had kept his willy in his tilly, his ass wouldnt have gone out like that.
And please leave twats like Helen of Troy out of this too.
So because the majority of men cannot keep their 3rd hand where God intended it to be, that makes it right?
I plan on having me 2 little boys, who will grow up NOT thinking it's ok to sell themselves short. Even if I have to beat them everyday, they will grow up to be Gentlemen.

vivaladiva:
some women havent woken up to the game, but at least some have. tis always goin to be a mans world if u keep wondering why your men cheat. tis an open field, in this game any one who is willing and able to play will participate and those willing to watch, will be the spectators. tis simple, if your man cheats, u know that guy wey u no wan mess because u dey for relationship, go mess am, your body go cool small, by the time him see sey u no dey interested any more if him like u sha, he go think twice and even if he no stop completely, the man go reduce him waka waka drastically, stop being the victim and learn to play the game.
personally, i don't see the big fusse abot cheating whether tis a man or a woman.

LOL, I am copying and pasting for some help with the translation. However, what lil pidgin I think I know I am under the impression you are saying "what is good for the goose, is also good for the gander, right"?

proo212:
Just like we cannot understand why you guys can be emotional one minute and be fine the next minute. I would never excuse cheating because it is wrong but why don't you get a dose of testosterone to know what it feels like.

Some men are weak and some men are strong just like some women are weak and some are strong. In this day and age, both sexes cheat as much as the other. I even think woman have it covered because they hold the power to the box. Go to ivillage and there's a section for "my affair" with fellow women supporting each other for cheating.

I think you are the ONLY " penis carrying" person here to have made any sense at all.  Thank You for saving the faces of your fellowmen

sistawoman:
Are men really this weak?

And you are suposed to be the head of the household? I don't know I thought they called us emotional and uncontrolable.

hmmmmmm. You have a lot to learn about men.  Weak is just an understatement.

eldee:
@CodeRed
I'm still waiting for the kiss ooh

LOL, It's coming via DHL , Make sure you brush, floss and gaggle well ,
Hope after I sent my Holy kiss for you, you wont cheat on me then blame your hormones

vivaladiva:
i just wonder why it isnt a woman that is saying these things u know.
abeg the word is if u must chop frog then abeg chop big frog. tis all about the bling bling init as my east london gals will say. my only problem is after the arisito finally makes u his wife, don't think that is the end. once a dog always a dog. i beg una just chop and clean mouth and allow the oda up comin aristo magnets to ejoy the national cake ojare.

All I have to say to the highlighted portion is : EXACTLY ON POINT ,

eldee:
As I said, the average man has 60 times the testoterone level of women
It's not our fault . . . [b]most male animals are made like that[/b]And the kiss, there you go, tempting an innocent man
When my wife sees this she won't know I was asking just a blow-kiss

LOL, You are too honest for your own good. OK, thanks for the research on why y'all cannot keep y'all mini-mes where they belong.  I henceforth forgive y'all, NOT

I am not tempting you. I told you I am taking out my dentures, while praying. If you have no issues kissing a 50 yr old, then why should she? As per your wife, she is my god-daughter. She wont mind one bit.

$$Rhino:
and how is the man losing if u using him to lose some calories?

Probably if you go back and reread my original post, you would see that I outlined "we( women) NOT men, need men to lose calories,

$$Rhino:
would love to know how u can use a man lose some calories.

Are you kidding me? Bedmatics na, how else ,

eldee:
Or the fact that we have more than 60X the testosterone in women . . . that makes a man forget he's married when he sees a beautiful woman
Mad at me . . . I'm still up for the kiss jare

Women see handsome men as well, but how come we arent ready to drop our thongs and shag their brains out?

On the issue of the kiss, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I am praying about it , Let me go remove my dentures, BRB

eldee:
Nah . . . Every man has a 50/50 chance of being a cheat
The one that decides to is strongly motivated to by sumn he really loves/hates

I know a man that started cheating just because his wife forgot to leave food when he came from work
That's his own trigger, hunger

If I were not already mad at you I would have "Kissed" you for saying this .  WE all know y'all have been genetically wired to cheat. So as to avoid all the nonsensical excuses, like the food issue you just mentioned, women like me prefer not even getting worked up. Y'all aint worth the stress. I rather used you guys to lose some calories

Mistresses are the ones who profit most. I remembered while I was in secondary school, my friend R came to school hungry all because his cheating dad spent all his cash on the mistress and her kids, while his were left to starve. Men!!

j-girl:
Lol! No more of that. I was finally blessed with a Playstation yesterday and now I see why guys love it so much. it really takes your mind off everything. You should get one darl! it helps. It's way better than keeping malice. If you don't see me online in the next 2 days, be rest assured that my PS is the one holding me down. Anyway darl, i gotta prepare for bed now (actually i'm going to my PS, lol!)

LOL, NO I will pass on the gadgets, I would rather hit the Mall and do my thing .

Goodnight dear.Sleep tight and don't allow the mostiquotes to feast on your gorgeous body o .

TTYL. Bye.

j-girl:
Exactly! Like the institution is meant to be such a blissful one.
As for mother-in-laws, they feel that only themselves can take care of their sons. No one else is fit to treat their sons how they deserve to be treated. They look at their sons as helpless creatures that will die without them. My husband will have to learn that it's me and him in that marriage. As long as his mama ain't sleeping in our bed and bearing children for him, she has no right to tell me anything on how to handle MY own children as if I'm hopeless. I won't allow such rubbish.
But thinking of this, maybe some Men just live up to what they think women want in them. Have you ever thought of it that way? Men acting like idiots because some woman said she wants no sissy or men acting like playas because they think that's the best way to keep one interested.
When I meet a man who strips himself bare (EMOTIONALLY darl, kick your mind out of the gutter), no games, no lies, just pure unadulterated raw emotions. I'm sure I'll have to change my opinion of some men. I met a guy like that once but I thought he was pretending until his wife told me she is very lucky and she tells me how she loves that she has such a honest true lover at her disposal.

Per:highlighted portion, Girl I may have to hire you as my sex therapist, afterall the last one has been MIA for months .
But I am feeling you oo. I went out today with some friends, and while sitting across my table I noticed this couple, and boy was the guy into the girl. He was so sweet and attentative and loving. I later met her in the ladies room and me being my "fast sef" asked her if her hubby is always like that. She looked me in the eyes, and told me how he is her world. He is so loving. She then told me she was about to marry someone, and 3 weeks before the wedding she was out wedding shopping of course and they bumpbed into each other. And the rest they say is history.

Don't worry, things will work out. Just don't lower your standards, never compromise who you are for anyone. Keep it up dear,

j-girl:
The one person I can pour my entire heart out to is a him as well. He's such a good listener. Sometimes I wonder why he hasn't given up on me yet. He even reminds me of my statements some times. it's very cool to have him on speed dial (#2).
I agree Malice is not cool. Lol, Some men can be total devils. I would rather figure them out. I love to sit and study people. It's just a way of knowing who you're dealing with.

LOL, speed dial #2, eh? It's cool, as long my baby is on #1 , or else you will have a lot of explaining to do jor.

I see you were gifted with an abundance of patience, unfortunately not moi. I am not much of a time waster. Things not going my way, am bouncing to the next bus stop .

I still don't understand why people keep malice though. I mean, my friend said she does because she saves energy(less hellos), her phone bill is less (less people to call) and she sleeps better( she doesnt have to worry where they are) and the best part, she shops more for herself( doesnt have to give away too much again),

j-girl:
Are you serious?
GOSH!
Yeah neither am I. She's a friend of ma famille. I am not a big fan of in-laws either but I have to have them some time if I ever decide to place myself in the prison instituition called marriage.

.Still bugs me. All this hype about that institution, LOL

j-girl:
Some should be treated right. others should just be treated like outcasts.
He's not fit enough to be a substitute. He's fit to be a temporary solution to all my cravings.

Girl MOST are satan's reincarnated, I am serious. My friend recently gave birth, and she was telling me her mother-in-law acts as if she cannot take care of her own child. She also told me the woman talks to her like a kid. Thank God her husband isnt one of those yeye types, he really handles his mother whenever she desrespects his wife. You see my friend is very calm. I know that wouldn't be me. I believe respect is earned. If you respect me, I have no reason to disrespect you. But no mother-in-law, or mother-out-of-law" will be stepping on my head. NO way. My mom doesnt impose on her sons wives, or their lives. She stays back and admire. If any of the wives come to her with issues, she gets both parties and speak to them as one. This is what I will tolerate in my home. If the husband disagrees and sides with his mom, then trust me honey, he will be shagging her for the rest of his life, unless she finds him a new wife.