₦airaland Forum

I went to South Africa last week and I must say I really enjoyed the vibrant culture and engaging in their favourite national pastime.
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Gang räpe.

Whats faster then a South African running with your TV?
His brother with the DVD player.

all4naija: I repeat! I heard your president said taking a thorough bath can cure HIV/AIDS . What more can we expect from the citizens following such a president?

They all must have fed up taking thorough showers without seeing any result. . Go SA with your primitiveness. Your president is strongly behind you.

Their president is a self-confessed rapîst who bribed his way out of conviction

I said to the South African guy next door, "We've just bought a Pit bull. Would you like to come round and play with him?"
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"Does he bite?" he asked.
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I said, "That's what I want to know."

What's the best way to keep a South African confused?
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Ask him what's his daddy's last name!

Similarities between a computer and a taxi in South Africa:
They both have windows
They both crash often
They both have a floppy driver with a virus

nadia_SA: hierdie patroit het kak rerag.... Still on bout rape nofin else u got agnst south afica coz this is getting boring regtig....

I doubt if he's here to entertain you.

Several British landed gentry in South Africa are sat around a dinner table enjoying after dinner sherry.
The 1st boasts "I went on safari last week and I bagged 2 elephants, 3 rhinos a giraffe and a lion"
Not to be outdone the 2nd boasts "Well I went onSafari last year and shot 4 elephants, several rhinos, 2 giraffes, a Lion and 7 wilderbeasts"
and not to be outdone by the first two the 3rd
boasts "I went on safari last year and shot 3
elephants, 4 rhinos, a lion, 10 wilderbeasts and 30noblees.
the first asks "What on earth is a noblee, you must be lying never heard of such a thing"
the third defends himself saying "I am not lying.
They are a most peculiar creature, very dark hides and when you point your gun at them they hold up their hands and shout "noblees, noblees, noblees"

Diary of a British woman
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Diary entry - 20th march:
Decided to leave London today and take a shortholiday in South Africa, heard it's a nice place.
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Diary entry - 24th march:
Just been mugged and violently rapèd by a load of fûcking niggèrs, why the fûck would anyone ever want to live in a crime infested shithole like this.
On a brighter note, my flight leaves in two hours,
can't wait.

sweetcheecks: bla bla bla

I think you're a nice lady, I want to propose to you.
Would you like to be the one who makes
sandwiches for me for the rest of my life!

sweetcheecks: You really are clueless to the yuppie life, I will employ your garri selling hawker mom as my third maid!

According to the UN, in South Africa a räpe occurs
every 15 seconds and 98% of rapès go
unreported. How many times have you been räped?

sweetcheecks: You really are clueless to the yuppie life, I will employ your garri selling hawker mom as my third maid!

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Thats 2 times more than you.

Whilst in South Africa, I had a go on their NationalLottery...
...
.or 'unprotected sex.'

CraigB: "Wettin say about Hillbrow? Chop dey dollar? Yes, yes mo brodda. Chop dey dollar!"

You need to learn how to multi- task........................I mean write and make sense at the same time.

Apparently apartheid started when the president of South Africa went to put on a load of washing and found a note stuck to the machine saying:
"Make sure you keep the colours separate from the whites".

sweetcheecks: You call what Nigerians have had in the past 50 years democracy? You are more deluded than anyone might have thought. You see, Apartheid sharpened our knowladge and understanding of world politics especially African politics. Hence we had the Nkwame Nkrumas, Gaddaffi's, Mugabes, Patrice Lumumbas and Samora Mitchelles as heros, not even one Nigerian makes the cut. Go fugure! You deserve everthing that is happening to you. May the Hausas and Moslem continue to dominate your azz and you call it democracy.

I've got a fuçking big pile of washing and ironing that needs doing, can you help out?

CAMEROONPRIDE: I have seen you all4naija calling bokoharam 80%-90% Cameroonian. What were you proofs? The Chadian and nigerien were according to the authorities illegal immigrants good, do you have to make them shirtless? Lay them on them ground? And under the sun? Even your USa that you have been citing as example don't treat illegal Mexican that bad at least not in public the way you did...just accept that humans are bond to generalizations the way you call all foreigners terrorists(despite the fact that it has been proved that boko is in majority kanuri/Nigerian) is the same way Nigerian are called criminals/drug dealers abroad/in SA.

At least they were handled by the authorities, they have their proofs. I am sure you must have noticed that most Nigerians, not least here on Nairaland blame people of a particular religion and part of the country for Boko Haram menace, not foreigners. I don't know wher you get your facts from to justify your biased views, a simple search on 'boko haram' here on Nairaland and you will hardly find people blaming it on foreigners, so stop lying

sweetcheecks: What do Nigerians know about politics? Heh? Ecxept dictatorship, corruption and tribal & religious politics. Big head empty heads and loud mouths. The emptiest vessels make the most noise! You need to understand the African politics before you can give yourself the tittle of the Giant of Africa. You can start with Mugabe he can teach one thing or two about African vs west politics. Useless people Mugabe is the shittzz in world politics they might have frustrated his country's economy but the west respects his guts than you foolish clueless leaders. He never compromised the struggle he stood his ground, I gues Nigerians would never put principles before material gain. He is in the same level with thePatrice Lumumba's. You have a lot to learn.

You keep going on about west politics and Nigerian leaders licking the west's arrrse, is it the same Nigeria that just passed the bill against gay marriage despite mounting pressure from the west, while South Africa legalized it to please their white masters? Now tell me who is sticking up to the west.

sweetcheecks: Now that we are clear about our stand, now crawl back to your hole.

Have you put the bins out?

CraigB: I go chop yo dollar ooooooo...

and your Rands too

sweetcheecks: I said f*** you! I am not interested in your retarded reasoning. Just f***off and shove your drug dealing brothers where the sun don shine. You hear me. Jou ma se poes!!!

You seem to have a problem with periods.
You never stop talking.

dumodust: life with mtn has been very distressing and painful, dstv bills have caused some physical and mentalsuicides in nigeria... Maybe we should all learn xenophobia from our african brothers, head to mtn headquarters and throw their hardworking execs down the stairs ignoring the guilty shareholders of the company... My 2 cents

Maybe it's because you don't use MTN magic sim, I stream online tv/radio, download and browse unlimited without paying a single kobo. Rip off MTN and you'll be glad you did

sweetcheecks: I said f*** you! I am not interested in your retarded reasoning. Just f***off and shove your dealing brothers where the sun don shine. You hear me. Jou ma se poes!!!

Is my tea ready yet?

sweetcheecks: F*** offf! Loser!

Less talking and more action!
I mean those dishes ain't going to do themselves..

sweetcheecks: Let the dullards fool themselves. Ons sal hulle lekker moer!

You are like a 2 pound coin.
Big, round and two-faced.

sweetcheecks: We are talking about Nigerians now cant you not fight your battles alone with wanting to group yourselves. If we want others will create a thread for them. Mtchewww!

Your grammar is really poor.

sweetcheecks: They are stealing its called consfication of drug proceeds. Did they bring property here? Anything they bought were from proceeds of crime now you can go hug the nearest eletric fence.

That's it honey, I'm taking off the wifi service in the kitchen.

This is the kind of pressure that make Nigerians go into marriage without being ready, some go into marriage without any source of income whatsoever. As if forcing them to marry isn't enough, they are also forced to bear children when they are not ready financially, it starts right from the church on wedding days with phrases like 'by this time next year we are expecting you to come for your child dedication'. This is why the country is overpopulated and the struggle for scarce resources is very fierce. We need to change this mentality.

Miss_3v3: If you cannot comprehend basic English then this is not my problem

Check the guys previous posts and pics on this thread so you know who you are responding to.

CraigB: South Africans don't use this phrase in their English. You're posing. You aren't a Saffa.

I love your pics, you look good

GH Swagg: Oh Naija!

Ghanaians always seeking relevance. SMH

CraigB: Bolloxssss!

"We have ruined our land. So, we will go ruin someone else's. Oh, I know! Let's go to Hillbrow!"

No wonder all your posts are hidden.