₦airaland Forum

ileobatojo: Post the relevant parts here so I can help you debunk it. (That's if you don't end up debunking it yourself with what you post like you usually do)

i don't have the time to spoonfeed you. read the article yourself. yelling & screaming in the house may intimidate one's partner & even kids. a woman yelling in anger is not praise-singing or shouting halleluyah.

ileobatojo: In the world of people who know what verbal abuse is.

Thank God, you learned it from childhood like every other person in the world did. That still doesn't make it verbal abuse.

thank God for providing another opportunity to educate you.

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/qt/yelling_verbalabuse.htm

ileobatojo: No. It is not.

Like I said elsewhere, this is one of the most utterly misunderstood, misused terms on this family section.

in which world is yelling at the slightest provocation not a verbal abuse? it's the first thing i learnt even in my childhood to convey messages without screaming.

pickabeau1: haha.. bellong you get time...

@coogar.. really woman dont know what they want...

actually, they do....
there's an opportunity for them & they take it with aplomb. they can be weak & strong at the same time depending on which is more convenient for them.

one of the reasons a woman would hit a man is because she doesn't expect him to hit back - he should be a gentleman & take the slaps. the same minute, the same woman will claim sex equality.

Acidosis: LMAO


Now you'll only end up training these innocent kids with a fake type of life all in the name of ajebutter


FOR YOUR INFORMATION: The confirmed Ajebutter do not know the meaning of that word AJEBUTTER. The word alone sounds like poo...


Being a BUTTER is not an act, its in the gene


Did I also tell you the word only exist in the dictionary of a Warri-Nigerian Man.


So better not go abroad and start shouting HEY! MY KIDS ARE AJEBUTTER!!! Else, they might bundle you and lock you up behind bars...

thank you, sir!!!

yellowpawpaw: Coogar, I know what I'm saying very well.
Wouldn't want to go into details for privacy but it doesn't to an extent.

Its not up for debate.
Examples r all around me.
Funny but that's true. I wouldn't hv believed too until I became part of the system and what I hv been seeing still baffles me.

Some behaves like touts. U will wonder if they r professors children. No difference from those living outside university community. Its very sad though.

their parents must be ajepaki, abeg
then again, some ajebutter kids also resent the tag. they see it as an insult that they are ignorant so they try too much to look "hard".

kmcutez: if they are found amongst the 99%, fine by me.

they have to be there. 99% of the nigerian men must definitely include your male siblings.

pickabeau1: At the bolded...this is because women are the weaker sex with equality now
If a woman slaps you; you can slap with no consequence

look at you....
women choose to be the weaker sex when it's convenient. this week, they are feminists & believe in sex equality. next week, they are weak & they want 50% of your assets if they choose to divorce you.

if a woman slaps you, please run for your dear life. don't even argue or ask why she did so. just continue running - don't aid a jezebel to put you in prison.

kmcutez: I swear for nigeria to move forward, we need to kill 99% of the men, and leave the remaining 1% that can be salvaged to repopulate the land.

as long as your dad & your male siblings are the first to be publicly executed in this campaign, it's fine by me.

pickabeau1: spoken like a true feminist feminazi

truth is - women are actually the worst abusers in the world. when it comes to non-reciprocal violence between partners, women are the biggest perpetrators.

yellowpawpaw: Coogar, that u r. Raised in an academic quarter might not make u a posh guy later in life.

if the foundation is rooted in an academic environment from the outset, it's very difficult for that child to derail. the environment matters a lot. the kind of kids the child mixes with is also a big factor.

[quote author=chicky-girl]Pls I need ur suggestions on how to bring up M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣ children to be very polish and well enlightened, M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣ 1st child ȋ̝̊̅ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇ 6months old..tnx[/quote]ajebutter - it's a genetic thing. you either have it or you don't have it. money might help it to a certain degree but astute observers would still know if the "butty-ness" is money-aided.

there's posh & there's Behind.
when it's natural then the kids are posh, when it's helped with loads of money then the kids have been tushed up.

as for your question, find the best academic environment in nigeria(federal university quarters) & raise your kids there. any private school or university staff school would also go a long way.

Ujujoan: As usual, there you go cooking up tales to back up your meaningless arguments.

Was the woman op's nigerian sweetheart. Look at his history and see how he married her. Even thinks he is cursed. IMO he made his bed . . .

go & get your yeast before your eyes start to deceive you. armygirl said she doesn't understand the trans-atlantic romance & i simply told her many nigerian men left sweethearts in nigeria & they went back to marry them.

where did i say i was referring to the OP?

StarBoard: et tu, coogar?
OK but dis ya request na old skuul.

boys are entering one by one.
no aso ebi today.

old school is always the best......

DJ play me.....

diallo by wyclef jean!!

armyofone: I still do not understand the trans atlantic thing. So many ladies around yet they hop back to bring village brides only to complain the ladies changed after creossing border? Ummmm what do you expect, people grow you know.
OP broken family is not the answer.

and it didn't occur to you many men left girlfriends in nigeria before travelling abroad? when men abandon their sweethearts, women complain. when men go back to nigeria to marry their chics, women still complain.

can men ever win?

[quote author=tpia@]The man actually respects his in laws, that's why he took that line of action.

If he did not, he would have beaten her up and still sent her back.

The suggestion someone made, that he should leave the house for months, sounds weird to me.[/quote]tpia@, can you cook?

[quote author=soul_glo]I was running on the treadmill while reading this. I have to sit down to laugh at the highlighted. You will learn Coogar. Someone's gonna teach you [/quote]don't break your back on the treadmill....

Chillisauce: You just have to trust your instinct and make the right choice. The worst is not even the money or prop taken from you but when you are denied custody of the kids and Wife set to bad mouth you in the kids presence. That is where it hurts most I tell you.

trust instincts?
hahahaha - you never know with women. women don't even know themselves.

Ujujoan: Good . . . then you better don't attempt to conduct same for her!

i have conducted it thrice for her & she passed!

A Pregnant woman says she can only trust the child in her womb . . as for the one on her back, she can't vouch for!

the pregnant woman is right - she doesn't even know the father of the child on her back & the one in her womb. i can see the difficulty in vouching.

pickabeau1: Amended

don't go there.....
white males are getting shafted as well. theirs is even worse. too many stories lately about women who would claim sex equality this week & still go after her husband's money when she opts for a divorce.

Chillisauce: To prevent the so called control you are scared of. It's like eating your cake and still have it. Raise kids in a functional home while preserving your investment in case of any abnormalities. Of cos getting a girl willing to do this is still available. But you go search tire

prenup won't work for me!
the UK justice system is ridiculously biased towards women - prenups are not even legally valid in UK courts so it's a waste of time.

Chillisauce: I don't see anything wrong with this, as long as he has total control on my own too. After all we are one. If you as a man don't want that, then sign a prenup.

why marry at all if i have to sign prenup? can you not see prenups cheapen the very essence of the marriage institution? same goes to the ladies that focus on working & saving in case they get kicked out by their husbands in nigeria.

why marry if the focus is so much on postdivorce?


[quote author=kind.way]I can relate to the Op.
My story: while we were together abroad, she behaved so badly that I almost beat her, The situation was so nasty to the extent that I have once locked her outside the house. She got so many bad friends that advised her wrongly.

Divorce wont favour me out there, I just planned a holiday back to Naija, when we got back home. I called immigration to cancel her visa. I gently moved back and pick up my life again.

Some Nigerian women can be so rude, contentious, unruly and over the board as if they are the only people that sabi book.

Ops: Do whatever that will make you happy, Nobody is in your shoe, No body understand your pain. You only have one life. Live it happily and fulfilling.[/quote]one moment she's eating country omelette @ ihop, the next moment she's queuing to buy akara on the streets of lagos. very good! let her bad friends file for her to take her back to america.

you have a child already - there's no need to marry again. majority of the nigerian brides shipped abroad are suffering from cluster-B personality disorder. just enjoy yourself, date plenty of women & live happily ever after.

pickabeau1: Hahaha..

Well wish the op the best

Locking her in naija is unfair and could render her unable to put her life together as her certificates may be abroad

She may even be in school and have to start over again

That is wicked to me

if she has a green card, she should be above every immigration rule which means she can only be delayed, she cannot be left stranded in nigeria forever.

if she eventually goes back to america, she won't be able to naturalise after 3 years if the husband ceases to be her sponsor. she will now have to wait for 5 years.

pickabeau1: Counselling

If it does not work.. Divorce

that ship has sailed......

Chillisauce: Control? Sure sometimes nairaland will put evil thoughts to someone .
Control ke. A full grown man? Even kids are not controlled here. Maybe you may say it's putting him in check to make sure he respects the sanity of marriage

nah - she wants total control. the house, the cars, the family income & everything else. that's no longer putting in check, that's control.

pickabeau1: Control is key and women also desire it

Na wa.. Me I still this backhanded appraoch is not optimal

let's hear your advice then.....

Chillisauce: Except there was no love prior, what incentive will make a woman turn her husband to a puppet.

control!!!

and please forget this prior love theory. a couple can be in love prior marriage & become deadly enemies during their marriage. love can fade.

pickabeau1: Tragic
May we be delivered from bad wives

It is better to dwell on the roof alone that live with one

i don't really think women set out to become bad wives but the incentives they get after divorce is too attractive to turn down. the social stigma attached to divorce way back is no longer there.

all she has to say is claim she's was being abused emotionally, verbally & physically & she automatically gets the sympathy of the public & a bounty payout to go with it.

pickabeau1: true... unfortunately thats life
Running back to naija to backhandedly seperate from his wife can backfire

isn't that the only affordable option he's got left? the other one is to swallow his pride & become his wife's doormat. even that one is a temporary measure, he's bound to snap one day and boom - homicide!!!

pickabeau1: Abi... rather than this backhand way
I pray God reveals his plan to her and she does not come to naija

face your troubles like a man

If she is a bad wife, do the proper thing

he's finished if he does the proper things. around 45% of his assets go straight to the woman. if they have children, he would even lose more.


let's be honest, marriage is a lucrative business for some women these days.....it's not different to robbery. marry a successful man, have kids for him, frustrate him till he's had enough, divorce him & take almost half of his properties.

frostbyte: When I get to Nigeria for Xmas, depending on where she makes the first wrong statement, that will make her cup overflow. Hopefully at the airport. Cos her mouth is faster now. I am going to give this woman a beating of her life that I couldn't do in America. I have absorbed enough, she used to be nice and respectful till I brought her to the state as wife. I sure will get away with the brutality easy in Naija than this place. I will seize her greencard and return to the states quietly.

hahahahahaha.
nice attempt at trolling!

plendil: We just can't win can we?

in the 21st century, being male alone makes one a criminal.

rusher14: [b]The amount of abuse and insults between Coogar and Miss Shakara et al. doesn't speak well of us as human beings.

From your depositions and repartee it is obvious you guys are educated, but trading words like Barbarians at war is a no-no.

Also, I find it unbelievable that the moderators have also failed in their capacity to censor unacceptable language.

However, I'm with Coogar on this.
Sworn affidavit and all don't a conviction make.

If indeed this is a genuine application (and it won't be the first time some document has been forged in our country), it still doesn't make Dino guilty.

Never been a fan of Mr. Melaiye but there just isn't enough proof for us to conclude his guilt.

Hearsay and further evidence as well as cross-examination or statements from both parties might well inform our decisions.

Yes, from what we have at the moment the picture isn't looking good for Dino but not enough to reach a conclusion.

We are all guilty of being sentimental at some point in our lives but logic most times yields a better result.[/b]

this is nigeria - any accusation is a guilty verdict as long as it's on the internet. nigerians are the most gullible set of people in the world. little wonder a scammer told 7,000 nigerians he was taking them to canada & took N50,000 each from them. instead of them to verify, they were busy seeking spiritual answer.

i'm too educated to believe just anything served on a plate. by word of mouth alone, adams oshiomole got oräl sex from an edo pröstitute. by word of mouth, 4 innocent boys were maimed in ALUU. nigerians need orientation & this quick passing of judgement without hearing from the accused is a characteristic of 95% of the nigerian population.

bibina: If you know the woman in person then you would know that all these are true! and that there may be other gory details she decided to conceal for the sake of sanity. I know her in person and from a distance you would never believe she is the wife of anyone in limelight. This woman is an epitome of humility, infact it is now i realize what she must have been going through. I do business with Nigcomsat and she works in a department I often deal with. kai...... i am feeling for Tokunbo!!! but why does God reward good women with evil men? Tokunbo I only pray that God touches the heart of Dino and makes him change so you can all reap the fruit of your labour in this marriage. God will surely reward you for I know His ways are different from ours. If divorce is what you need for now, so be it but I believe God can change any situation just as He can change anyone and turn him or her around for good. You need a happy home and God will give you a happy home where your children will stay in joy and harmony with you.
Amen

i never called her a liar.
i just said she should provide more evidence that she's been a victim of domestic abuse for 10 years. get witnesses, police log reports, hospital reports, pictures, etc.

ferhyntorlah: My Dear Coogar,
All these "fake" accessories are to attract you men nao.

accessories to attract us or accessories to boost self confidence?

Ujujoan: I've learned that trust, like respect, is reciprocal . . .

Does she trust you too? do you deserve to be trusted in a room filled with naked size 2 models

whoa!!!
never thought of this. this is a very good question i am going to ask her. can she trust me with nüde models? i doubt it. she'd rather not want to conduct such an evil experiment.


[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ The middle finger to be precise [/quote]looking at my middle finger & feeling highly blessed.

Miss Shakara: What do you have with death and suicide? Did your Dad hang himself?
It was fun going on and on with you, but unlike you I do not live in nairaland so ciao!

my dad is well & kicking.
your dad is in a mental hospital foaming in the mouth, spasms all over his frail body with his hands tied behind him.

fun going on & on with me after giving you the history of your pathetic impoverished life? don't go & behead your dad o - he did all he could but he was destined to be a failure ever since his umbilical cord was severed....