₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Coldie post=102952638][/quote]My points below

Well, maybe, it depends on the area or which country you are staying. If you are in those Muslim countries, probably it is possible for them to avoid you due to religious barrier and to avoid gossip. Most would prefer to do the friendship in secret, and only visit you in your apartment without being seen together (on road or walking together... as per black man wey you be). Also, if the acceptance rate of Africans are low in that country, it could be a barrier.

On the other side of it, if you are in a country where it is normal and the acceptance rate of Blacks is high, then, it might be little issue for you. Try and look out for those girls who are not too flashy or slaying... they might work. Also avoid materialistic and Instagram filled girls. Another line of taught is gossip about you. Most women trives on gossip. If a girl or girl try to 'run you down' by saying untrue things about you to one or group of girls, they would hold on to that and judge you harshly. No matter what you did, that which they heard is actually 'true' unlike Nigerian girls that don't care about gossip over someone, but still goes for what she wants. Another point, your expectations towards women might be very high... try and lower it (though I don't encourage it, but still your choice).

If all else failed, then do arranged relationship or marriage (recommendation from family or siblings). Lastly, the spiritual overrides the physical. The 'spirit husband or wife' of a thing, though cannot be proved, but I think it exist. There maybe some impediments that you need to strive hard to break.

Why are the not mentioning the name of the cop? Or is he a Fulani policeman?

sgtponzihater1:
Amen. Thanks for the kind words

Don't mention bro.

If you recollect, as head of state, he voted against the Nigerian nomination candidate at the OAU (Organisation of African Unity) elections and supported a Fulani man from Niger Republic. When the man was pronounced the winner, he went to embrace him.

So, this Statement is actually true? I mean about the African Union election where buhari choose tribal affiliation over a citizen of the country he heads. He voted a Fulani man rather than vote for an Igbo man..

It is a done deal. It confirms what I had always thought of about him despite my benefit of doubt with most things I have heard about him (For example, putting one head of state in house arrest with full benefits while the vice was locked up in kirrikiri maximum prison - of course, the one locked up was an igbo man while the one enjoying house arrest was fulani with religious affiliation to him)

Summary of it is that, With Buhari, tribe first, and when he can't get tribes man, then religious affiliation. In situation non is available, he considers foreigners like Niger, Chad, Togo citizens before he can consider other Nigerians as last option. Igbos, he would never consider them. He is a true student of Ahmed Bello who preached Northernization policy and agenda.

Nice piece of work bro. I can relate to most of your experience. When a man has 'tasted poverty, and finally start seeing his direction', he always does everything possible not to go back to the 'area' he just left.

Sometimes, when people see another person working hard to better his situation and mocks him, they would never no the conditions of things because they are privileged. Most privileged people always assume that others are lazy.

Keep on pushing forward. May God be your strength.

The ministry is moving towards the permanent site then

Abeg, who knows good phone someone can buy that is less than 30k or 30k max?

tobianodino:
*Important notice*

Those of you applying for a course in international business in Opole university. *Concrete Information reaching me is you better stop applying for that course, because they currently have 420 Nigerian applicants for that course and it’s almost impossible to get admission for that course now.....*

Even if they give all of them admission, do you think embassy would give all of them visa to move to Poland for their studies?

Is the application free? if yes, there is no harm in applying. The school will review it and choose the best candidates for admission. However, if it is not free, well, the school would have gotten enough application fee (assuming it is 80 euros per applicant multiplied by 400 students =~32000 euros)

aswani:
DAramis, what will work for me will not work for you. You are right that Naija women are reticent to use their money in a family home.

Study and understand your partner to know what the right approach is.

Lots of marriages have gone south quickly, in an avoidable manner, because people see other marriages and expect same in theirs. A tried and trusted recipe for disaster.

Okay. It was just a hypothetical question, but all the same, no need to worry.

pocohantas:
If he doesn’t want to get married, he shouldn’t get married. Majority of the women in the world won’t notice one Nigerian man decided not to get married.

A lot of you have parents, uncles, aunties, neighbours and colleagues who are happily married. I wonder why you don’t go to them for positive vibes. Why must it be online you seek it from Kanye and Kim?

When they post the positive vibes now, una go still land to call the man simp or the woman, mumu. Forgetting it takes two simps to make it work. I have even seen some say the couples are pretending and the smiles are fake. Don’t blame these happy couples for not showing off, no sensible happy couple would expose their marriage to the current wave of online toxicity. I personally would never do that, I always tell mine.

Hahaha.
The word S**p. I can't remember ever using that word though it was on nairaland I learnt about it and its common usage. As for your last statement, sure, most people will prefer to keep it off social media.

Anyway, it should be just that.

pocohantas:
What should mods balance? Are there no happy couples around you?

Nigerians makeup the largest African community in the US. The most educated and career driven set too. Yet when 1 out of a 1000 turn out bad, we won’t hear word again.

Even here in Nigeria, are all Nigerian wives happy with their horsebands? Abi they are just suffering in smiling because the odds are not in their favour. Shey it is because the men here fling their wives out with only her box and panties, that is why you are looking for positive diasporan marriage. As if the ones home are any better.

Wayoo nnukwute nwanyi

To start with, I am not in USA though I understand where you are coming from. To be honest, the majority of news I saw online emanating from USA regarding to this topic has always been negative. Yeah, we know bad news sells, but the consistency is something else.

All I am saying is that, their should be a balance regarding to diasporan couples and marriages. Haba mana, if they go with this negative news always, people might prefer to remain single than get married (just like one popular nairalander in Canada said he is considering not getting married self).

JeffreyJunior:
Oh I get you.

Until the death of my dad, neither he nor my mum ever used the phrase "my money" all through their marriage and things worked for them.

I have always planned to follow their footstep but again, it will depend on who I'm dealing with.

I say this because I've noticed that some women of this age are used to the word "MY" and not "OUR" as if marriage na war where everyone dey fight to get what he or she can.

okay bro.

Marriage is not easy going by the negative news making the front page of nairaland. The mod should try and balance some of the information they post online by sharing some positive marriages that has lasted over the test of time.

aswani:
If you have a wife (or husband) that you brought from Naija and one day comes to you and says, "Dear, I am now earning, can we discuss how much I can contribute to leads the running of the house?" , I suggest you hold them tight and never let go.

Both of us knows that, most women would not do that at the bolded. And, I think the information would also help the unmarried on how to chart that course.

Confronting the issue head on is more realistic than waiting for the wife to raise the topic up. If you were in a man's shoes, what would you do. Or how do you tackle the issue of money when both you and your wife is working?

JeffreyJunior:
Yea, it happens. Some of our older brothers never bothered to plan for their retirement while they could so they now resort to bringing Nigerian wives to be their retirement package whereby the girls will be working and be paying the bills.

Most of them were shipping cars and general goods, had businesses that got closed for one reason or the other, and were into fraudulent activities which have been bursted forcing them to close shop and make them unemployable.

So these nurse wives are like their meal ticket.

Nevertheless, in most cases, the wives have greater share of the blames because a good number of them have terrible attitude and often take matters to extreme.

My brother, I'm not in position to give opinion on how finances should be run in marriages. Sorry I'm not experienced in that yet.

Okay, now it is well understood by me why some of them use their nurses wives as retirement packages.

As for the finances in marriage, I only asked of your opinion should you be in such situation (I assumed you are married). I didn’t mean your advice or strictly your word on exactly how the finance should be carried out.

How much is this phone in naira? Also the itel website said the phone is 1GB RAM. How come yours is different information?

JeffreyJunior:
Some of our brothers bring village girls, encourage them to be nurses and sit idly to eat their paychecks. One day, slaves will want to revolt naa, it's normal.

This is the second time I am seeing this comment. Does this really happen bro? The other person who made similar comment said something about “cooking the woman up” though he didn’t give further information.

Lastly, what is your view on married woman working in the region of their residence?
Should the husband allow her to keep all her salary while facing the home front by himself?or should he demand certain percentage to be paid into joint custody account monthly?If yes, what percentage is appropriate? 50 or 60 or 70 etc (I am not talking about joint account were the woman donates everything while the husband then spends money for running the house from his salary)

I am asking all these questions because I know money happens to be one of the motivating factor that leads to most problems. No wonder some would not allow their wives to work but rather become a full time housewife

NB: Experienced and married people should also contribute towards answering my questions above.

Flip this information by comparing Mohammed with one South West politician now (Jagaban) and you will be surprised with the swiftness which FATWA will be declared on you. Not forgetting the crises that will erupt.

Some people have monopoly over madness sha.

These people are hypocrite. See as the stylishly refused to mention the name of the Man or attach his picture but rather passing the information on code as if there is a ban on freedom of information.

Had it been it was an ordinary Nigerian, his different pictures would have been splashed on the face of different blogs as well as his family name, father's name and relatives names.

People should have made effort to take her to nearest hospital rather than standing there to snap picture and post online.

I think it is high time a law is passed to punish those who snap pictures of accident victims without rendering help whatsoever with 20 years imprisonment (no option of fine). As for those gathering around accident victims without assistance to the injured person, minimum of 10 years imprisonment with option of fine of atleast 10 million naira.

So sad for her. May God lead and protect us always, Amen.

10mobile:
Wizdom dey there. But, you've just taught me to still be responsible after becoming the fortunate famous man I'm about to become.

True bro.
Finding the right middle ground is what count. Just like it has been said,

Virtue et medioastum.... Virtue lies in the middle

RisenJoe:
Thanks so much bro

Don't mention bro.

Snippet of my view on this topic

Akwa ibom women are good and industrious women especially if you meet the good ones. Unfortunately, they do have mistrust over igbo guys (especially the Ikot Ekpene LGA axis).

They call igbo people one common name like that (can't remember) just like they are called 'uneghe'. Jealousy is also rift among some of them. One specifically told me that, she would not date igbo guy because her 'aunt' was married to one. She alleged that, the aunt was nearly 'used for money' by the husband.

Cross River girls seems to be better version than Akwa ibom girls. More open to igbos and do marry without any barrier. Funny thing, the Calabar girl I met in Akwa ibom stopped talking to me when she noticed that, the cousin (the Akwa ibom girl) is jealous and has interest in me. She had to go back to Calabar. When I requested for her contact from the Akwa ibom girl, she refused giving excuses. For me to date her, still a no no.

I wish you the best in your quest. There is nothing wrong in marrying outside your tribe or region especially if that is where you find peace of mind and happiness.

NB: My experience happened during the mandatory NYSC. Their men, Ahh, extremely jealous and dangerous when they notice the girl they fancy likes you.

CC RisenJoe

Na greedness kill the python sha. A whole cow that was swallowed by it.

This my oga governor, maybe, when he was a youth, money do am shege. Na im make him no do fine boy then.
Now money dey, he wan do all those fine boy we him miss. It is same for men who are poor with no money and girl who accepts them then. When they finally 'touch money', majority turns to womaniser with no control.

Abort!!!!
Abort!!!!
I repeat, Abort!!!!
Over and out.

CC afembaba

A cultist if I should go with the "handshake symbol" in the first picture.

Another statistics between Nigerian man and his wife. To bad that, this happened. I really don't know what would have happened that push the man to take that extreme decision and action.

May the dead journey well. All those squabbling and marital issues has been forcefully foreclosed.

Nickymezor:
Udoamaka meaning peace is good... I really wonder why he committed murder

Hmmmm,

He never lived up to his name then. By the way, are you from his tribe?

iamadonis2:
Thanks Bro

Abi na sis

Cmade1:
Thank you bro . I really appreciate your time . I will stick to Poland. As I said I am Cameroonian. But please , is there not another country I can go and get polish visa there

I don't think so. It was once said on the thread that West African countries share one Polish embassy which is in Nigeria. Don't worry, your own application would be successful. Just follow the guidelines, cross your T's and dot your İ's. At same given time, back it up with prayers (if Christian or Muslim), all things being equal, your visa application would be successful.