Daresh's Posts
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 Family / Re: Married With Kids But Deeply In Love With Another Lady by Daresh(f): 10:33am On Jun 28, 2015 |
mysweetnina: You will die a miserable death and your d1Ck will rot and fall off. 2 Likes |
| Travel / Re: Taking Food Out Of Airplanes by Daresh(f): 11:00am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Antoinne: This argument isn't worth it. You do you and I'll do me. 45 Likes 1 Share |
| Travel / Re: Taking Food Out Of Airplanes by Daresh(f): 10:58am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Antoinne: I am a travel agent. Nothing is free. 48 Likes 2 Shares |
| Travel / Re: Taking Food Out Of Airplanes by Daresh(f): 10:44am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Antoinne: I did buy it. It is a part of my ticket. You think the airline gives u anything for free? Its not food it is snacks. It's not serve, its a snack. You really are slow. 38 Likes 4 Shares |
| Travel / Re: Taking Food Out Of Airplanes by Daresh(f): 10:36am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Antoinne: This shows how uncultured you are. People take food away from parties all the time. After a party the host packs food for guests to take home so the food doesn't waste. I always give my guests when I have excess. I take away my snacks from the plane after all it's a "take away" pack. Get it? 125 Likes 1 Share |
| Travel / Re: Taking Food Out Of Airplanes by Daresh(f): 10:33am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Antoinne: How does it concern you? After all na me take my money buy am. If I don't eat it, I can give my kids or dash my maid. All these busy body forming Nigerians that dont mind their business   144 Likes 1 Share |
| Family / Re: Help, My Husband Hits Me Anytime We Argue by Daresh(f): 8:03pm On Jun 23, 2015 |
avwerosuoo: He needs anger management. If you want I will send you the name and number of the psychiatrist that helped us. It changed my marriage. |
| Family / Re: Who Owns Death Benefits? Deceased's Wife And Children Or Extended Families? by Daresh(f): 7:30pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
adanrygr8: What kind of question is this? Please use your tongue to count your teeth. |
| Family / Re: My God! My God!! Who Have I Married?? by Daresh(f): 5:21pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
simpleseyi: People like you believe a womans life revolves around a man. If another woman jumps into his bed nko? Aren't they already there? You think she can't build a happy fulfilled life without a man? Abeg give chance jor. 8 Likes |
| Family / Re: My God! My God!! Who Have I Married?? by Daresh(f): 5:19pm On Jun 22, 2015 |
Haywhymido: This is the stewpidest thing i have ever read 3 Likes |
| Travel / Re: A Town In Anambra State Were Snakes Visits People...(pictured) by Daresh(f): 2:07pm On Jun 19, 2015 |
We don't kill them in my village as well. They will never harm you so why harm them? We just take them out if we don't want them in the house. 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 9:13pm On Jun 17, 2015 |
Mutaino7: At least they know its a problem and report cases. Here its the norm and is swept under the rug. Women dont matter here. |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 11:08am On Jun 17, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: For goodness sake the title of the article is a question not a statement. Plz read and understand before you comment. 3 Likes |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 10:47am On Jun 17, 2015 |
Timbuktou: What the author is saying is that a woman's worth is being defined by her sexiness. Men believe that women are created to please them. It plays on your psyche. A lot of ladies don't believe they are anything without a man. If a woman dresses sexy it's either believed that she is doing so for a man, or for a man's attention not because she wants to. 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 10:38am On Jun 17, 2015 |
thorpido: The topic is a question not a statement. Note the difference. |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 10:31am On Jun 17, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: It's much higher than 1 in 3. Growing up I never saw my father hit my mother. In fact he was the perfect gentleman. Now I have learned that it did happen. No one in my family knew I was being abused until it became out of hand. I didn't know my sister was being abused, I didn't know my friends were abused for a while until they quit their marriages. It happens more often than you realize. We need to stand up for each other. We need to teach our sons to treat girls right. We need to teach our daughters that they are smart enough to be whatever they want to be. We need to teach our kids that they are equal. 4 Likes |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 8:24am On Jun 17, 2015 |
Onegai: |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 8:22am On Jun 17, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: Gender fight? Just read the article. No one is fighting anyone, it's cold hard facts. |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 8:20am On Jun 17, 2015 |
5minsmadness: If you do not read, how will you know? Don't you read books? Or do you only rely on the TV for knowledge? 1 Like |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 8:16am On Jun 17, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: The fact that it doesn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen to others. The world doesn't revolve around you. And don't go vouching for other people, you don't know what happens in their homes. I was surprised to find out many so called loving relationships are battered homes. 2 Likes |
| Family / Re: Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 8:08am On Jun 17, 2015 |
VictoriaBee: A woman called it trash. You are treated as a second hand citizen and you call it trash. 1 Like |
| Family / Nigeria: A Nation Of Wife-beaters? by Daresh(f): 6:58am On Jun 17, 2015 |
Nigeria: A nation of wife-beaters? by GistMan That Anglican church, that was my church in the late 70s and 80s had prayer sessions on Wednesday mornings. And the congregation more than once, had to do more than praying. Shrills and wails of the “mother of the parish” were familiar to some and when they pierced the serenity of the sanctuary , even fervent prayers had to be aborted. Out of the sanctuary and mumbling disgust at failure of the priest to handle his affairs more tidily , elderly parishioners would shoo away children and hurry in the direction of the screams to save the vicar’s wife from further savagery . And she would be retrieved from a torrent of blows and kicks. And a panting and menacing priest will direct some scowls and threats at the interlopers who had the impudence to abandon prayers , to pry into his running of his home. A handsome, well spoken, seemingly urbane vicar whose sense of piety tolerated chasing his wife around the church premises in full glare of congregants to effect priestly moral chastisement. He would conduct services the next Sunday dove-like , like that Wednesday never happened. The priest was brutal , the society and church were complicit. The priest received rapid promotions and has been a top ranking archbishop for many years. Domestic violence against women may be rampant in many parts of the world but it is , in addition , socially tolerated in many parts of Nigeria. Victim surveys show that about 50% of women of all categories suffer repeated physical, sexual and psychological abuse in the hands of their men and other men. Beyonce says girls run the world . Perhaps they do all the chores. The world constructed by patriarchy where women are told, and believe, they were created for men is an unjust world. Women, helpmeets, ostensibly exist to help men meet their loneliness. But because men are literally pulsating bags of sex hormones then women must further be objectified for maximum sexual benefits of the male collectivity. So women, pawns, are socialized into roles that are seemingly objectively neutral but that are patently slavish. And since they are by nature beautiful , men are groomed cynically to think that women are beautiful because they are men’s ornamental pieces. The icing on the cake of their earthly existence. Their beauty is for the viewing pleasure of men, yes. Men deny them autonomy and urge them to concentrate on cosmetic trivialities and being beautiful, in the service of their sexual imaginings. Dolls. And women spend their lives preoccupied with their sexiness. And women , only women , flaunt naked bodies and revel in things tight and skimpy. Culturally , they are positioned to live on the magnanimity of men . The society pauperizes women because dependence on men glorifies men -prancing bags of ego. Independence perhaps detracts from the sex appeal furnished by dominion. Across the cultures in Nigeria, women were almost in some ways were seen as sub-human. The female child was always considered inferior to the male child. Patriarchy meant that the cultures and traditions were merely the wishes of men. And societal leadership was the exclusive preserve of men. And the inferior women whose roles were to gather wood, cook and be married off to breed children had little real value. And a man who died without a male child -heir, lived a wasted life. And the cultures gave women to men as wives in the likeness of properties. And since women were seen by men as superficial , mawkishly sentimental and lacking in sobriety , maturity and intelligence, they were generally considered as marginally more rational than children. And the husbands were required by the cultures and traditions to continue from where the fathers stopped because the character molding of the female must be superintended by men . Women, they say, “spoil easily”. And they all had to be closely monitored because the society perceived that women weren’t just vulnerable and perishable but that also they possessed in their biology all that was needed to thoroughly ‘corrupt’ generations. And since they are supposed to be naturally gullible and loving of ‘sweet things’, they could, if unchecked, let loose and imperil the society. A spoilt female, they presumed, could damage the morality of a thousand men! The lecherousness of men is always permissively read as the work of nature. Lasciviousness and promiscuity are bred by sluts – women. Women globally have clawed back few rights but so much remains. Women couldn’t vote in many places until the 20th century. And couldn’t act as sureties for bail in Nigeria until a couple of years ago. Successes recorded in the enactment of legislation that prohibit discrimination based on sex , that promotes equality of the sexes have not translated into significant dismantling of barriers and systemic disadvantages that manacle women. Men fashion cultures and interpret religious texts and allocate to themselves the position next to God. And they say it is not male chauvinism. The woman is not only of lower intellectual capacity, she is also an inferior spiritual being, they think. And the elderly women school the younger women in the art of worship of men. And the subjugation is perpetuated. A godly woman is submissive to her man whom she needs to be a ‘complete’ woman. And being perpetually female and single is pathetic failure . An unmarried mature woman is an abject failure. And many women display wedding rings like trophies and loudly brag about being “happily married” albeit to brutes. And these immoral presuppositions are espoused even by women. Cultures, traditions and laws are always seemingly objective and neutral. Tools of domination. A decadent and impoverished Nigerian society, unfortunately, can no longer maintain a steady stream of matured capable eligible bachelors in an increasingly monogamous setting. So many unpaired ready women languish emotionally. The society insists they marry but the society lacks sufficient quality men. Many marry and submit to poorly groomed and conceited nitwits to escape the social handicap of remaining unmarried. Lagos landlords would not even let apartments to unmarried ladies. So all kinds of marriages are now contrived to satisfy different needs and fears. In many of these contraptions, women shackle themselves with crippling yokes and their hopes and self esteem are squashed . The men are lords of their manors and the women are essentially glorified domestic helps. And the standards are now so low that marital love is assumed to exist if couples manage a steady stream of bland courteous interactions. And if men show wives sporadic affections in tokens and gratuities for sex , for house chores, and for bearing and looking after their children, they expect adulation. The woman would endure endemic sexual harassment in workplaces and yet come home to spaces where the man, enfant terrible, must be feared because he can unilaterally deny everyone peace by throwing tantrums. The incidence of domestic violence has been on the rise in Nigeria. And wives are serially physically and sexually abused. Some husbands are so out of touch with decency that they batter their wives even publicly. And some who, as children, suffered severe psychological dents when their mothers were battered, pay no heed to the sanity of their own children when they batter and denigrate their spouses. And if you are as unlucky as a cousin of mine who had the misfortune of a hefty tempestuous husband who had a second wife in alcohol, you will be battered at night and on his temporary return to sanity in the morning , the brute will ask you how you came by so many bruises. Amongst many who claim sophistication are men who torture their wives verbally and psychologically. Threats of divorce are casually dangled because bullies consider themselves indispensable benefactors of the women. The husband becomes the maverick. He enthrones an air of unpredictability and lives out his whims, caprices and sadistic fancies. “You will pack out of this house” . “I will send you back to your father’s house”. Daily squirts of scorn, contempt and derision. Many Nigerian men treat wives like low level employees. In a society where men are allowed to punish erring women and where family matters aren’t supposed to become police cases until perhaps someone has been knocked into coma, the men get away with horrendous crimes of domestic violence and the women burn silently. And even when families and friends are brought in to settle disputes , the general counsel is always for the woman to find some way and manage the madness of her husband. Wife beaters judging another wife beater. And the victim’s helplessness is exacerbated by a certain faithful acceptance of the notion that marriage is somehow “for better, for worse”. Divorce is condemned. The female divorcee easily earns public contempt. So the woman takes in the scorn and brutality of her husband and remains “happily married”. Aren’t they always happily married? Wives are essentially personal acquisitions. Mandatory dowries, which are often exorbitant, do not help to curb the sense of ownership that many husbands associate with marriage. And since the Yoruba wife refers to the husband as ‘ Olowo ori mi’- my owner, the man does not need the woman’s express consent for sex. The woman’s rights belong to her husband. Sex must be given on demand and to refuse the man sex is to commit an act of gross insubordination which could even be construed as an act of infidelity. And any hint of infidelity by the woman is an abomination weighty enough to make her an eternal outcast. Marital infidelity by the man is understandable. The man is viewed as inherently polygamous and when he chooses monogamy for any reason he must be rewarded and encouraged by a little license to ‘respectable’ and ‘guarded’ compensatory extramarital liaisons. And many tout themselves as good husbands because they shower their wives with visible gifts . Amongst them are exhibitionists for whom wives display objects through which the egotistical self can aspire to vainglory. So the wife can have the most expensive of luxury cars but would be accorded the disdain due a pest inside the home. And even a careless yawn might attract the sternest of rebukes! The agony many glamourized wives of the rich live. Relevant statistics in Nigeria are non existent . Domestic violence cases are rarely reported to the police who are always reluctant to press charges. The society’s stigma and lack of confidence in the police by victims ensure most raped and battered wives grieve in silence. The law here still says you can’t be guilty of raping a wife. Barbarism. A criminal justice system populated overwhelmingly by men cannot understand the pain of domestic and sexual violence on female victims. The laws and customs in Nigeria cede the homes and everything else to the men. They are founded on utterly sexist assumptions bordering on misogyny. The presuppositions must be dismantled by raising of consciousness. Religious texts must be interpreted hermeneutically. The criminal justice system must be fine tuned. A wife-beater is a criminal. Ladies , “shine your eyes!” By Ugoji Egbujo http://community.vanguardngr.com/m/discussion?id=4565467%3ATopic%3A872400 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Travel / Re: Have You Visited Taraba State? It Is Truly Nature's Gift To Nigeria!!! by Daresh(f): 3:04pm On Jun 15, 2015 |
I would have loved to go but Adamawa borders Taraba. BH love Adamawa, I'm not going there. |
| Family / Re: A Cheating Husband Is Not The Worst Thing That Can Happen In Marriage. by Daresh(f): 11:46pm On Jun 05, 2015 |
I hope the advice rolls for men too. Don't be pissed when your wife cheats, it's just sex. 2 Likes |
| Family / Re: He Found A Condom In His Mum's Bag..what Should He Do? by Daresh(f): 1:49pm On May 30, 2015 |
bobolizim: Rage? Is he mad? Abi e no do f**k? Stewpid small children. |
| Politics / Re: Great Reception For Jonathan & Wife On Their Arrival At Port Harcourt by Daresh(f): 3:45pm On May 29, 2015 |
kokozain: Same thing that went through my mind. The people shared $s to will surely welcome him. |
| Family / Re: He Stopped Kissing Me by Daresh(f): 12:27am On May 29, 2015 |
sweetmuah: Please cheat on him. Isn't he cheating on you? 1 Like |
| Politics / Re: Fani- Kayode Shares New Photo Of His Girlfriend In A Swimming Pool by Daresh(f): 5:40pm On May 28, 2015 |
This had better be his daughter. That dirty ol man.  |
| Politics / Re: What Cost Jonathan Power In The End by Daresh(f): 7:41pm On May 27, 2015 |
demmy0325: I'm sorry for our generation.If you cannot read, you cannot improve yourself. 1 Like |
| Celebrities / Re: Timaya Adds A Silver Bentley To His Fleet Of Cars by Daresh(f): 8:23pm On May 26, 2015 |
These guys are really dumb. In 20years they will ask us to contribute because he has enjoyed so much he needs a transplant. By then all these cars won't save him. 2 Likes |
| Politics / Re: MUMU Is When U Believe A Man Trekked From Lagos To Abuja In 19days. by Daresh(f): 6:02pm On May 26, 2015 |
Olaolufred: I bow for you! Perfect answer!!!! |
| Food / Re: Why Do Nigerian Women Hate Smoking So Much? by Daresh(f): 3:04pm On May 24, 2015 |
That tin stinks. Besides I like weed better  |
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