andyanders:
Why is she complaining? Why stay in an abusive relationship for that long unless the fault is from her and no man except the man wants her.

She has a daughter and can walk out from the relationship. It will be easier for her to get married again than with a male child.

It is EXTREMELY difficult to walk out on a marriage. Especially in Nigeria. People are so judgemental you can't believe it. The same ppl that will tell you to leave are the same people that will talk about you behind your back. Believe me if it were easy, there will be many more broken marriages in this country. Many many women suffer in silence.

LekinsRibirth:
That woman must have done something despicable to warrant such beating. Maybe she was trying to hold ground with the man as what most women would do.
If you can't fight don't run your mouth! No man would beat his wife if she doesn't do something wrong. You know your husband is an animal yet you'll keep on exchanging words with him.
Sorry!

You clearly don't believe men and women are equal. Kpele. Your daughter will be battered too.

kennybabs1980:
I am new in this site please, I opened it today even though I have been a guest for one year. I got married in 2010, I am now 35 while she is 31, we already have 2 children, a girl and a boy, this is what I and my wife agreed on before we got married. We don't need more children. But sex with my wife has become so problematic, she doesn't want to get belle again so she is afraid, me I want to at least have sex with my wife now, I can never be involved in adultery, never!
Each time I use condom, its like I want to die, 20-30 minutes, I wont feel anything, so I have been doing withdrawal which is just not ok with me. Our last child is 2 years but I don't want any mistake child and I cant contemplate abortion. My wife has been fearful of taking pills and other family planning methods, she always point to our friend who become so fattened up immediately she did family planning, she like to maintain her present figure and I really want her to look like she is now for a very long time to come. I don't like hurting her, she cry anytime I shout on her or talk harshly to her on the issue so I avoid that. I have indulged in masturbation because of this and she knows, I don't like myself afterwards, I told her to lets see a doctor but she has been dodging it because of her fears of getting bigger. Kindly advise us on the types of family planning methods that wont lead to gaining fat, she agreed that I put it here first before going to see doctor, we will read your candid advises together, thank you all.

Dear OP have a vasectomy. Chikena. No babies no weight gain.

TochiPhotos:
"I used to sale food(rice, swallow etc) till government demolished the place my shop was in. I had to find another thing to do and that's how I started my akara(bean cake) business. I made more money as a food vendor but it's harder than this one, then I had to start cooking food as early as 4am, I have more time for myself in this akara business. I still make enough money from this one to support my family since I lost my husband last year and became the sole provider. My last born is in his final year in University of Lagos and once he graduates and gets a job, I will quit this business and rest." www.thehumansoflagos.com

Sweet mother!!!

My parents were married for 16 years b4 by mother passed on. My father has remained single for the past 22 years.

SmartFaces:


You have a point and i also know that Bill was adopted too but in cases like this one maybe pushed to have negative thoughts about the whole thing. Hope you are good?

Look raising kids is a giant gamble. Its God who raises them and we pray everyday that our kids, biological or adopted turn out right. I have 2 biological kids and I pray one day to adopt another one and bring hope into someone else's life. And I'm good thank you. You?

TheSonOfMark:



You obviously seem pained by the posts assertion. It opened up old wounds, didn't it?

STOP DIRECTING YOUR FRUSTRATIONS AT PEOPLE WHO AREN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PREDICAMENT.

I was pained because I totally hate it when people say crap like the OP did. I have no old wounds, but my sister in law was adopted and I see the joy she brings her mother. She makes her mistakes and so does every child so don't generalise.

SmartFaces:
I got a call from my mum this morning informing of the death of my aunt's adopted son who ran out of the house for one month now.

Many years back, before i was, my aunt's had two biological kids, a boy and a girl. Unfortunately the boy died in his school leaving behind his sisters. That incident affected my aunt that she could no longer bear children which made her resolved to adoption. On the count, they has adopted 3kids all boys.

When they made the first move, family members objected saying no one knows what blood runs in them and all that so the child doesn't grow up and starts giving you headache. The second and the last had been good boys, exception of the fist that has been trouble in one way or the other.

A month ago, the first of 22years of age ran out of the house to an unknown destination, reports has been placed in different police stations and the motherless home where he was adopted just for a team of police investigator to call in two days ago from one of the southern states, saying they found his corpse somewhere there.

The whole thing has badly affected my aunt that she is loosing her mind to a point of insanity.

While lots of people are sympathizing with us, other are in a way blaming us for adopting a children from an orphanage home. A man even said it clearly that "adopted kids always bring shame, disgrace and pains to the home go into because they have bad blood running in them"

Even though i have not had any encounter with anybody adopted because most times they don't know they were adopted, but my experience with one of my adopted cousins is forcing me to believe what that man said.

Secondly, even though the other two are younger now, we fear when they start growing older, they might just cause us another pain... but
God forbid. My hearts is really heavy... What do you think about adopted kids or individuals

You sound uneducated. Dont our own kids drive us crazy? You must think you are special because you know your parents so you think there is something wrong with adopted kids. Do they have two heads?

Steve Jobs was adopted, Bill Clinton was adopted you were not what special thing have you done?

When you see pictures like this you come to realise that we aren't much different from each other. These can be Igbo, Yoruba, Fulani, Hausa, Calabar women. The faces are the same only the attires differ. I wish we could appreciate each others differences and this world would be a much better place

I'm trying very hard not to cry, but it's impossible. My daughter is 3, how can I ever let someone hurt her? She's the world to me and I would get raped a thousand times b4 I let anything happen to her.

My daughter is 3 years and everytime I carry her I pat her back until she sleeps or calms down. I sing for her and tell her sorry if she has been hurt.

My baby sings for me when I lie in bed and pats my back whenever I carry her!

Kids are the best, they OP is right, they give back what you give them.

majalisa:
in simple and forward terms folks lyk me dat r earning 50k are a pipe dream from marrying you?yes or no

Dude I'm already married. Besides you need to strive harder to earn more money. 50k is just a drop in the bucket mehn. You can't depend on salary, find other legitimate sources of income.

GboyegaD:
Two wrongs don't make a right. Talk to him and listen to his explanations add that will guide your decision. It is possible his explanations will open greater sockets. Just try to be calm do that you can pick ask necessary details.

I totally agree

majalisa:
liability..i thot u will be the "another source of income"

When I know I cannot earn 50k a month. I can never be satisfied with that.Last time I earned such was as a corper. Why would I marry someone who is content to make change as monthly income? Mba o, his whole 1 year salary no reach to pay my current rent. He will be a liability to me

If he has another source of income I will. If he doesn't then Am I mad?

frenzy55:
My mom is old living alone with two of my siblings a brother and a sister a 25 year old and a 28 year old., the rest of us are overseas, every time I call my mom she is crying this two are causing havoc, if they are not selling anything they don't own, they are teaming up to frustrate her, like not talking to my mom, not cooking and such. This two are jobless and failed school numerous times, my sister was repeated school until she decided not to go, my brother the same, with there bad grades it has been hard for them to secure a students visa, I personally even refused to sponsor them abroad after seing how rotten there behavior was. Anytime me and my siblings abroad go home they try everything to ruin your stay, they will pull everything to sabotage your efforts, we suspect the ringleader is my brother,
It is so hard dealing with hard headed kids, iam to a point almost bringing my mom oversease and forgetting about my siblings
How do I deal with such?

Take your mum and leave them. They will get their shit together when money doesnt come from you

striktlymi:


Having a large family is not the sole reason why people take to crime. You are referring to two different things here. It is one thing for a country to be overpopulated and another for a parent to have kids he or she cannot take care of.

A country like America cannot be said to be overpopulated irrespective of the fact that their population is over 300million and they have their own share of parents who aren't capable of meeting the financial needs of their children.

There are a lot of factors that come to play before you can readily determine a country that has a population crisis. Nigeria is far from meeting the criteria needed for that.

I can give you loads of stories of people who took to crime despite coming from a relatively small family. Take a look at the developed world, a lot of the families are small but does that put a stop to crime? The answer is a definite NO!!!

America is about 50 times the size of Nigeria. Nigeria does not have enough going on to engage our population. A small family size does not guarantee crime free society but from my experience a parent is more likely to be attentive to the children when the strain on resources is not too tight.

Our population is too high that is why there have been attempts to tame it. That is why birth control is free. That is why birth control training is given to mothers before immunization, to try and tame the population growth.

striktlymi:
What exactly is your point?

That every armed robber out there is from a large family whose parents are not able to meet his or her needs?

Or are you saying that a small family can't breed armed robbers?

If that's what you are saying then I say with all sincerity that you have no point.

For your info, Nigeria has more than enough resources to cater for its population and more.

Our problem is not a dearth of natural resources nor is it that of population but one of quality and selfless 'managers' of the economy.

It is not just about our leaders. A lot of people do not see the need to educate their children even in areas where education is free. Case in point, my maid from Cross river state told me that in their place it is very common for unmarried ladies to have up to 7 kids. Also school is optional for these many children. Imagine if as a child you had the option of not going to school!

We all know the number of "calabar people" in lagos doing house girl and menial jobs because there is no information and seemingly no way out. Have you ever met a person who has no way out? Nothing to live for and nothing to lose? I have, and he became a drug pusher.

Our population is growing to fast and overpopulation is a big deal.

ajkuti:
Glamrock, I specifically signed up on Nairaland after reading your post on "10 reasons why you're moving from America" and I showed your topic to my wife and informed her I would register on this forum just to encourage you. You have a family in us any day sis. You are making the right move sista, you can't go wrong.

A brief history of my background and why I was easily drawn to your posts and why we share similar experiences:

1. Born and raised in Lagos and moved to the U.S at a young age. I left Nigeria in October 1993 and never came back until January 2015! Yup, 21 straight years! I last resided in Florida after having lived in Atlanta and Boston. Coming back to Nigeria was interesting as I saw it through the eyes of a foreigner having been away for so long! I wowed in amazement seeing how developed Nigeria truly is although most of the locals are blind to this reality. They crave glitters while I crave understated beauty and simplicity. They crave excess, while I crave contentment. They praise the AmeriKKKan white man because they have no prolonged first time experience of how evil he is and how he's disagreeable to anyone of African ancestry.

2. I was single when I left for the U.S but came back with a wife and kids who had never ventured outside of America until this past January. They were born and raised in the U.S and attended charter schools but we pulled them for fear of ever rising racial prosecution. We couldn't stand to see our kids before looked upon as 2nd class citizens.

3. I relocated my entire family to Nigeria because it finally dawned on me that AmeriKKKa is the "land of the free AND home of the slaves". I feared for the lives of my kids especially my sons after watching the Ferguson Riots, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin,etc. They are exterminating young black men irrespective of how young they are. There is definitely an agenda against teenage boys in AmeriKKKa and this genocide is on the rise daily.

4. I finally saw that Nigeria was not as bad as I thought it were 21 years ago. As the saying goes " the grass looks greener on the other side". Looking around now, I have come to respect my african heritage and have been trying to educate some of these ignorant average Nigerians that AmeriKKKa is a systematic racist place and it's impossible for any sense having black person to feel complete in that over-gloried country.

5. Since we relocated to Nigeria 2 months ago, we've felt peace like we never had in my 21 yrs in America. My kids are happier here and my wife love it too despite the little challenges. We complained about the lack of constant power supply at home but have since invested in multi battery inverters to give us 24 hours electricity. Despite all the little challenges we've experienced in Nigeria, nothing can make us leave again for the U.S. There is really nothing that we need from the U.S that we can't readily have in Nigeria.

6. Business opportunities abound in Nigeria and the current strength of the dollar is to your advantage. The locals here don't really see the opportunities starring them right in the eyes 'cause they're too busy trying to make instant millions when they could gradually build an empire.

7. 1 met 7 other returness from AmeriKKKa and we all came to the same conclusion that Nigeria is actually a better place to live and raise kids than AmeriKKKa. The simple minded will never understand that 'cause they're so wrapped up in materialism and glamorization of AmeriKKKa but those of us who have lived there for decades can easily tell the difference of how fake AmeriKKKa is as a nation and how the country can never truly be integrated.

8. Since we relocated, I have not experience any iota of racism and that in itself is peace to my soul.

9. I've been educating my African-American friends to come visit Africa and start reconnecting with their roots for a deeper cleansing and rebirth.

9. My family will gladly welcome you and 'cause we shared the same struggles with African-Americans and we can advise you of do and don'ts and how to live a balance life in Nigeria.

10. Lastly, my wife and I vowed never to step foot in America again knowing all we know now.

Keep in touch!

Can I be your friend too?

Glamrock:
Hi, I'm just looking to make some friends. I currently live in the US. I have be reading a lot and learning a lot about Nigeria , and my african background/culture. I'm strongly considering moving to Nigeria in the future and I would like to have some female friends I can get to know and build lifelong friendships with. Nothing gay or lesbian is involved just genuily looking for friends I can look at as family for when I come home. I'm 26 years old so I would prefer a more mature crowd, I'm am not drama filled , I'm a very cool, kind, caring, down to earth female. I have nothing but love for you all, please accept my friendship you can add me on facebook Janae' Glamrock Morgan so we'll stay in touch. I look forward to meeting you

Come jor lets be friends. Me sef I'm looking for new friends, my friends are boring me. Thats right I said it, you guys bore me. Make I run for cover before someone slaps me biko

kestolove95:
Dix. Yoruba people self...dem knw dey put dem prick one place?

Please don't make it tribal, paedophiles come in all tribes and races. PS I'm not Yoruba

There are too many of us Nigerians. Waaaaaay to many, and more and more are being added everyday. The number of people and our growth rate is alarming and the population is growing unchecked. People still have 4,6 to 8 kids and they have no means to care for all these children that they have. These are the people that end up on the streets as beggars, prostitutes, armed robbers and kidnappers.

I had a conversation with a lady selling roasted corn and I was surprised at her way of thinking. She had 6 kids, none in school and she was pregnant again. I asked her why she was having so many children and how she planned to train them, She said if she doesn't have more her husband will pursue her from the house. I asked if he contributes to their welfare and she said no. So how can he chase you out? You are the breadwinner!

We need to do something to control our population fast as our resources are being squandered and cannot cater for all of us much longer.

My daughter was screaming and disgracing me in the store today. I wanted to kee her walahi

SUV:
My Lil sister is married for barley 2yrs and having problems with d husband. The husbands started beating her. On one of d occasion, my sis called my dad to report d husband beating and my dad informed my mum.
Now my mum is planning to visit my sisters house and beat d he'll out of him. My mum just informed me of her plans which she said she doesn't want to let anyone know until after actualizing it.

I hv told her to give me sometime to speak to my Lil sis and d hubby. I hv spoken to d 2 of them and there's nothing serious, just a misunderstanding on financial standings of their home.
I hv tried to calm my mum not to go and she's still insisting she wl go, anytime it's possible.

Pls what should I do? Mature advice pls.

My sister if any man beat my picin, I will go and beat the shit out of him. I didn't give birth for any fool to beat.

It happened to me, until my father promised to beat the "are you stupid" out of him if he tried it again, na then his eye clear.

When I said no teacher or school anything should lay a hand on my child, one slowpoke on NL say I should be spoiling them. Na die be this one. My beloved pikin? Na die o!

Nigeria's population is insane. Yet ppl still talk of having 5 or 6. How do u plan to care for them?

iyatrustee:
Just 35? or na football age?

Shes 35! She was in my school so I know her age o!

Pictures can be so deceiving. The MM airport is hel on earth but these pictures make it look so appealing. Hot, no AC, rowdy, crowded, leaking roof beggars called customs officials. #DIARISGODO

fitzk:
I really need help...hence this outburst. I live in Abuja, a graduate with more than 10 years working experience as admin officer. I am married with 4 kids( the oldest 9 and the youngest 4) I was once financially stable until 2013 when I lost substantial amount of money in a failed contract I got and consequently, lost my job to it. I was faced with litigation but got out of it after settling out of court in respect of the failed contract. In the midst of this my wife fell sick since 2013, she was just diagnosed of some infections on her internal organs. As it is now, my 4 kids have been out of school since January 2015.

THINGS I HAVE DONE SO FAR
1. I started using my car as drop / kabu-kabu until last year March when I had accident with it and couldn't put it back on the road. About #100,000 is needed for that.

2. I moved my family out of a 3 bedroom into 2 bedroom in one of the satellite towns

3. I changed my kids from a #40k tuition school each to a 10k tuition each( yet couldn't meet obligations)

4. I sold some house items to raise money though at ridiculously give away prices.

5. I have been searching for jobs, attended several interviews but no job. I now know that one doesn't appreciate what he has until he loses it.

MY NEEDS
1. Treatments and drugs for my wife

2. Repairs of my car so that I can start transport biz while I look for job

3. Money to for accommodation. I have made up my mind to move my family into a one bedroom apartment any where possible as I am still owing tent for the current year for sum of #210k

MY PLANS
1. moving to 1 bedroom apartment pending improvement in my finances

2. Enrollment of my kids in LEA Primary school closest to wherever I get 1 bedroom apartment

3. Selling off some items more:
a. Washing machine
b. Yamaha Keyboard/piano
c. Micro waves
d. Artwork ( large painting for decoration)
e. Glass Dinning set for 4 ( but six ppl can use it)
* It has been pretty difficult selling this items though...I still want buyers

REQUEST
1. Pls if you need or someone who might neef them help buy. #MyLifeIsNosediving

2. In case you know anyone who can help with accommodation... I am not choosy as I stand to be evicted in few days ahead.

3. If anyone can help with ANY legit job. I am open to jobs that will enable me take of my family. Again I am not choosy

OR

4. If anyone can loan my #100k my car will be back on the road and I will be able to have income to take care of my family while I look for job.


NB:
I seem to have become financial parasite to friends and the local church I attend. I understand them perfectly and I have no hard feelings.

THANK YOU ALL IN ADVANCE

HAC (Hodge Auto Centre) is recruiting for the following departments:

1. Admin/HR 
Position1: Department head
Position 2: Executive Assistants

2. Clients Relations Unit
Position 1: Team lead
Position 2: Executive Assistants 

3. PR & Sales Unit
Position 1: Team Lead
Position 2: Executive Assistants

4. Admin/Finance 
Position: Team Lead

Interested Applicants are to send the following to the provided email address:

1. Properly formatted CV
2. Recent passport photograph
3. Letter indicating which position candidate wishes to apply for. 

Educational Qualifications/Experience:
For senior positions in admin and hr and finance, a masters or sufficient experience is required.

For very junior positions, fresh graduates who are intelligent and sufficiently motivated.                              
Pay is relative to the position: Minimum 100k 
Maximum 400k

Email: admin@hodgeautocentre.com
Please copy: a.odukoya@hodgeautocentre.com

Phone number: 
07040555512
09098852348

Website: www.hodgeautocentre.com.
Please kindly BC or send out to interested contacts.

Regards

Lionbite:
This is fashion, Its called thinking out of the box. Nigerians are so used to the normal dressing styles (skirt and blouse etc) so when they see something new they reject it but if top celebrities like genevive, dominic, funke wears it. The next week our naija girls will turn it to a trend and start rocking it. Smh

I agree! I love it and would totally rock it!

AllNaijaBlogger:
A week ago, I saw a popular pastor at shoprite coming down from a newer model range rover with a bodyguard. That car should be at least 10-20 million naira. A 2012 range rover sport goes for 11 million naira at least.


I do not want to mention the pastor's name so that his members and followers here do not come and bash me. I am a christian but such extravagance bothers me.


I just want to know what biblical or commonsense justification can be given for such an expensive asset?

This is what I keep saying. All these "men of God" are just business men. My Jesus had NOTHING!

Absolutely nothing but he was the SON of God.

Let them continue fooling people and their gullible followers.

This is why I go to Orthodox church . I have done the whole pentecostal thing and I'm sick to death of their hypocrisy.

Goodluck to them and their followers.