₦airaland Forum

HussenAdul:
Do u know area of specialization or profession?
The jobs are in Delta or Anambra

I have no idea. But I can ask

Oyerinde16:
I pity this situation o... But I remember when I left a good job, I became jobless yet had to provide... The available jobs were hotel, 25k teaching 25k driving Keke 35k marketing 45k I got one job as a loan marketer 60k, I resumed n left after 2weeks, I was to walk corner to corner giving and retrieving loans with interest as at when due... I heard stories of co workers not earning full salaries due to deductions, incomplete money bla bla bla... I looked at the outfit n dressing of co workers, those I was to work with, faded cloths, stiched cloths, I just left the job... I spent all my savings within 6 months no good job, I started doing bolt/Uber, this was pretty lucrative cos it was my car, I was my own boss, I worked whenever I wanted, but it wasn't really for me, it began to tell on my car, I knew what I wanted... I wanted to create a good job for myself n employ people I would pay well... But where was the capital, I kept on waiting while my wife was saying I should just take any job, all she was concerned about was just provide not minding the mental state of the man... Just provide... She wasn't working, I provided all just that it wasn't as much as when I was working ... I told her to get a job to support, she said I knew she wasnt working before I married her, so I should work n provide, she said it was the job of the husband to provide... I even became weaker...

I support what someone said up there, give the man a job with a good pay, if he refuses, then flog him, but if you can't assist him with a good job, not minding what he is going through, just shut up... Men are people's children as well someone's daughter (liability) should not come n use marriage to kill him in the name of men are wired to provide...

I'm sorry to say this. But your wife was just mean and non considerate. This is a different situation

Akalia:
Any woman that would loose respect for her husband just because he ain't able to provide due to circumstances beyond his control is an unfortunate bitch that does not deserve that man.

In Western climes men and women in marriage hustle alike and pull resources together to run a home but here in Africa everything as per pecuniary burden is on only the man's should.This is generally true with a minute exceptions here and there.

This is a different sineros.

FireUpNow:
If the said jobless man should tell the woman to leave then go marry another man she won't accept it. OP how was the man doing before he got married to her? Some women can kill a man's zeal for life

You're somehow right anyway, but not getting up to provide for himself too is way out of it

oliverwrites:
This is how GOD wired it now because it is convenient. But when it is not you all want equal right.

Considering my own experience, I no longer pity any woman.

Pity in what contex?

crackhaus:
If it's okay for women to sit back and wait for what their husbands will bring home, then I guess it's okay for men to do it too.
Let's keep things fair, shall we?

She can cheat if she wants to cheat. Is it not only to collect prick outside?

Are you for real? Have some men lower their self pride to this extent?

Beverlyjean:
This is part of the reason y I don't support the feminist ideology... it will male some men lazy

Even the women promoting the feminist ideology can't even practice it to the core

ExudeLoveToAll:
This scenario you painted has sent a lot of guys to the department of high blood pressure and depression.

I can't fathom spouse wi can't generate income, for me if you want to live a baby girl life stay single.

Partnership in marriage makes things easier, no one should leave the finance stress solely for one person unless that one person can foot the bills without hurting him

and that's how it should be

ogmask:
I know say na you dey in the middle of the storm...
my advise be say look back where you dey come from and look front if you can see what lies ahead.

My dear. Is not me. Marriage is 50/50 for me. Anything less than that is a no no

HussenAdul:
Where is the man's location & profession let's help him with any available job.

The location is Abuja. If you're serious about helping, I can link you up with his wife then she can bring in her husband

Bluffly:
Be in charge does not mean the only financial provider. He is just the overseer

When there's hunger in the house. What is he overseeing?

Flame77:
Oh we now believe in God, agree that men are to be incharge and we even now agree it's God's plan for the man to be in charge? Ok this is good news.

Oh. You don't know before?

Ikennaford:
You Nigerian women and complaining, come to the states and see black women begging men to come live with them with maximum respect from the womanoooh, you form councilor you not, you should've ask the woman if her husband ain't working and providing when she married her,,

But you said the State. Your sisters who stayed back in Nigeria, do you still advice them to do what you wrote up there?

Nice one. Congrats 👏

Nice2023:
That is why I keep telling intending couples,that love alone is not enough.

For any marriage to work...both the man and woman must play a vital part.

Yes. Very correct

Nice2023:
Let me give u am example.
There was a time my younger brothers friend followed and he was to drop at a junction before mine.

In the course of our discussion,he told me he was planning to marry,and me being me,I advised him never to marry a woman that is not doing anything at all because the guy works in place thatbis great and has future.
I wasn't surprised he told my brother everything which he too advised him further never to try it.

Do u know this guy married a liability,I mean a non contributing wife,his income has depleted badly that,he now beg and live basically on loan,just immediately his wife gave birth.

If u go to his house,he would be begging u for money because he got it all wrong. There were girl in his level and those above his level In the office but left there and got hooked with liability...now his father that depend him can no longer get anything from him anymore.

What a life.

Sad. People failed to understand that when hunger begins to strick the home, love and affection from both couples depreciate.

Wodu89:
His spirit is dead inside. He needs motivation. I've met several people in this situation during my counselling sessions. The work of men is extremely hard, and it goes deeply beyond hardworking or being lazy. It goes deeper than the soul into the spirit.

What I can advice the woman is to take what he needs to him to revive his spirit.

In such a case, preachings that can revive his spirit and soul. She should be playing very good scripture based teachings at home to revive his spirit.

He's dead internally and revival can't take place if there's nothing to bring him back to life.


Ezekiel 37:13-15



If he listens to good preachings at home for sic months, he'll find his lost zeal.

Inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
I pray she have the strength to hold on till her man get revived. And I pray she don't cheat

It's unfortunate. Many young ladies failed to understand that, they can make wealth as well.

Tolerance in an abusive marriage should be discourage.
If you the gold digger can endure it, what happens to the innocent children? It's wrong to train your children in a violent home

Several times. Countless number of times

Nice2023:
I have written about this behavior here on two occasions and I am not in any way surprised at the menace currently being practised by these lazy men.

There is always a way to live in this country,during ur 20's,work like ur life depends on it. Save and invest so that,when u start having families,u can be able to sort ur family out.

Another thing that is killing most families these days is how some men like marring liabilities as wives and feel great about it.

How can u make it when ur salary is 100k and ur wife isn't doing anything for a living,not even WAEC certificate and u come here to tell us that,the govt is not helping matters even when u have refused to help urself.

Joblessness could increase the number of lazy men out there,keep consoling them but there is no food for lazy men.

Exactly.
And it's unfortunate, when some lazy men are previllage to marry a hard working woman, they turn the whole responsibilities on her.

Zee0007:
Let them give him a job with a handsome pay check. If he rejects it, then we can conclude that he needs to be flogged.

Is it the depressed/suffering women that's going to sort out the handsome pay job for him?
Besides, where are those kind of job? So many people are picking up small available job to meet up with bills

Taylor90:
Women do it too

Men should reciprocate

Pls, it's a serious issue here. Men are wired to be in charge. That's how God made it. When you reverse it, it's against God's original plan and it doesn't always go well.

So sorry for your lost.

It's hard on her. Let me cry and express her feelings. Time will heal her.
You're about to travel, hope she wouldn't be alone in the house. Pls make provision of a relative or anyone who can stay with her for this period.

May the Lord comfort her and every member of your family grieving.

That's life.

Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Nice write up

A woman can do all that for you, but once she marry you and you're not meeting up to her expectations, she will still disrespect you. Understand between the both of you is the key

Men asked all the time

I can help with 5k. Respond to your DM

Stop borrowing people money if you want to maintain your sanity. Just give what you can let go to support.
Because people's attitude when looking for loan is not always the same when is pay back time




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIocV4rhMiU

jmoore:
If you see a post "You will get married before the end of the year", 99.9% of the Amen will come from the women.


In the churches, we have prayer topics for women that want husbands. I can't recall when men that need wives were asked to be prayed for.

Normally, it's supposed to be men, but because women make their selves too available, the need for marriage in men is gradually dieing.

Oloki:
For ego sake. So they can shout, 'do you know who I am'?

Honestly. It doesn't worth it

NAVYdogg:
Prolly just want to be the centre of attention to feel they are worthy of existing, that feeling of I'm better than others in order to feel valuable in the society.

I think it doesn't worth it.

I prefer living somewhere enjoying in wealth than being popular everywhere and be secretly suffering