₦airaland Forum

@op, I can feel your anger. Pls calm down. Not healthy for you and your baby. Wait awhile, give birth and watch him. Divorce process will stress you. Sorry about what you're going through

smatt1711:
I will give you the advice I will give myself if I can reverse back to your age

1) Enrol into any higher instution preferably a University, Choose a course that won't be demanding like Sociology or Education courses
2) still engage in your music career, make friends, befriends music students, visit campus music facilities and learn one or 2
3) find other students with like mind, you can form a band group, attend campus competition, drop campus singles, Use campus radio station.
4) you just said you don't have money, campus will help your career with least available capital, it will give you good friendships and networking and finally it will give you a degree just in case... Because later in life you will realize that as you de reason am now no be so E be....

@op, please read this over and over, until you understand every line.

I listened to the one you posted. You tried. Nice, but I want to believe since you're just starting, the one you posted is just for test running.

keep improving. Score other people's songs. Use them as rehearsals, Write meaningful lyrics,

If you're extremely good, you are good to go.

All the best.

Kobojunkie:
So what you are saying is that a man foolishly spent money he did not have on marriage celebrations he could not afford, and then after he found out that the women he married did not make the same foolish mistake he did, he began fuming cause of it?

You are suggesting a woman should ask for forgiveness from her spouse for keeping her nesting safe from his lavish spending during what was their wedding only a month prior?

Am I the only one here not impressed by your submission here, or what?

Why would any sane individual enter into marriage like that to begin with?

Do to your partner what you want him/her do to you

ZIMDRILL:
vital information for what ? its her money she made before they got married, eventually ahe was going to tell him remember its barely a month of marriage
Ask for forgiveness why ?

The guy has just proved that he is insecure in his woman having more money or showing signs of being able to handle money

Was going to act the same way if he had found that his has her own house ? using the same time frame of marriage

the brother has no shame, lets say the wife says she wants to give the money to her parents is he going to moan about it on what grounds ?

the marriage is only 4 weeks and he sulking over money that was made by her self, he should be proud of his woman, having the financial knowledge putting money into fixed deposit acc

Some of the advice that some of you give on a faceless forum, is far from reality.
Why don't you quickly put yourself in the man's shoes and give your view on this again.

This is serious.
Knowing that your marriage is barely one month, shows that you both have spent a lot in the marriage celebrations.

In this case, alot of women, will keep their own money locked up in their account, while the man is being put under pressure for all the expenses.

If you check well, the man might even still be in little little loan while 1.7million is in his wife's bank account. Haba

From your story, he knew about it after seeing her alert. Too bad. During courtship, you talked about almost everything, is money not included?
Your husband have no intention to take your money, but he's feeling hurt, you lied to him. You made him look like a fool.
The woman is greedy, only thinking about herself alone.
I have counsel this same sinerios several times.

Last year, this same issue almost broke a family.
A newly wed, just two days after returning back from the village after their wedding, the man had an urgent call from work to report to Kano office from Abuja. He was calling everyone he knows for #20k assistance, because they had nothing left, even the wife was calling friends she knows, but could you believe she had over #260k locked down in her account, but couldn't share with her man who spent all his money on her beautifing her with expensive clothes and jewelries?
It was this monthly bank charge debit alert that made the man to discoverd.

The effect of that act, has not left their home till today.
The woman should ask for forgiveness and stop claiming right here.

@op, nice decision. One thing I know for sure is, it's more easy to excel in a particular direction than dividing your efforts in multiple lane without giving them 100% attention.
Since you're good in content writing, focus in that lane.
Search other site like upwork, they're many content writing jobs there as well.

Good luck.
Full support

Yeah. I'm so happy for her.

A very creative video director/ producer.

milliondollas:
THIS WOMAN IS THE MOST USELESS PERSON I HAVE EVER SEEN, MUCH MORE USELESS THAN THE MAN

Now I see reasons why people commit sucide in their closet, if they come out to air their mistakes and regret, some of your comments and responds will depress them the more.

That's the problem of some of this news.

It would have been more informative if the source of his money was specified.
Lots of young Nigerians trying hard to impress their parents are committing crime and parents aren't paying attention.
I'm not saying he did wrong for buying his father a birthday gift, but for the sake of others.

What is actually wrong with some of you in this country?
Is it greed, passion or hardship that's behind all these useless lifestyle?
You have a job, what stop you from savings your money little by little and do side business. Like buying and selling to boast your finances? Why betting?


Thank God you've realized your mistake.

Gamesmart:
Birds of the same feather!

My dear, you and I don't have the same approach to life issues. So, stay on your lane

This is really sad. @op, it's unfortunate all your efforts did not yeild positive result.
Stop blaming yourself for being a fool. Every kind hearted wife will do what you did. Weldon.
The same people that blame you, had it being you run away from the early stage and paraventure your husband commit sucide, they would have still call you a wicked wife who abandoned her addicted husband.

Thank God, you've realize the position you are right now.
You need to stand up for yourself and your children. Reject depression and sucide.
If you're a christain, tell your spiritual leaders and family members. Ask for assistance and build up your finances.


Respond to your dm, I will also help with job search.

Cheers

@op, this same advice is what I will give to my brother.
When you decided to get married as a man, please try as much as you can not to allow her lose her trust and confidence in you. A woman is the weaker vessel, yet the most complex being.
Why cheating on her to the extent that she's aware?
When a man push a woman to the point where she no longer have affection for him anymore, expect anything negative in that home.

Don't travel yet, until you are able to right all your wrongs with her. Good luck.

vastolord4:
Aunty Philo that year Madonna uni.. rip madam

What happened to her? Is she dead?

Condolence @op. Don't worry, you're going to be alright. Nothing in this world last forever. Not even loved ones.
Take heart

princeeze1:
I am married from another tribe, before marriage, at the introductory stages, our cultures are explained in details to her. She is informed what she is coming into, dos and don’ts, even up to what she is to cook for us and not to. Unless she was not married properly, it holds sway.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing

princeeze1:
In my place in Delta, if your wife cheats it affects the kids. If you are aware as a man and keeps it a secret, it affects you. I usually starts from an undiagnosable ailment to death. If you forgive her as a man she must undergo a ritual, naked before the umuada women and confessing her deeds to them, kill a goat for the elders all expenses must be from her pocket and her husband’s penny must never be involved for it to cleanse.

Wao. Thanks for sharing. What of women from another tribe who are married to your men, is this applicable?

And after spending everything in marriage, what happened next?

Why is gambling addiction on the increase lately?
What's really happening?

@op, in all you do, please, don't add baby mama title to the emotional truma you're going through.
Children are not just some piece of cake that anyone can just go ahead and order please.
Once a lady can not find need for a husband and a conducive home for child's bearing, she should stay away from having a child, because once you birth a child, everything is no longer all about you.

Start working on your healing first before you go into any relationship.
Some people are enjoying their marriage, what you experienced with your parents shouldn't discourage you. Set your own goal and pursue it

Kobojunkie:
But is what exactly is the "real" aspect to these beliefs?

Is it true that female adulterers in fact die in Kogi state due to attacks by vengeful ancestral spirits or is it instead the case that the few deaths that involve suspected female adulterers are pumped up to seem as though a result of attacks from vengeful ancestral spirits?

My dear, that's what I heard, but it's with a particular set of people in igala land.

@Op, my advice to you or your friend.

No woman should keep her child all to herself, due to hurtful experience by his/her father. The greatest gift of love by a mother to her child/children in a situation like this is the gift of free access to their father. Allow the child to bear his father's name. Allow that relationship between them.

Sorry for all the pain you went through. I'm sure he wants to drag with you now because you've refused all his peaceful approach to you. Which I know it's normal for you to feel that way. But trust me, there's no need for court dragging.

Allow him to support his child, time, heal every pain on Earth.

It's well with you.

@op, you funny. Say what you know pls. Or you're looking for validation for cheating.

Pls, share let's keep learning. I know there are still many, we're yet to hear.
Share with us.

Kobojunkie:
Just asking questions to understand why such absurd thinking/beliefs persists to date is all. Nothing to get all worked up over.

It's strange, but some are real. we are in 2022, how those horrible practices still exists, is what baffles me

Kobojunkie:
So you are telling me that in a state with over 4 million people that only a handful of women married to men from the same village committed adultery last year and all of their cases went viral?

You know how much more hard that is to believe, right?

Oga, calm down. The aim of this post is to talk about those weird practices. I don't know much. That's why I said things you heard, seen or believe.

Kobojunkie:
So every adulterer from Kogi state eventually meets their end by the hands of their ancestral spirit? How do you know this?

That's what they said. Some part in igala land. Once both of them are from the same village. Not applicable to those with inter marriage. Last year, it went viral on Facebook.

Kobojunkie:
So what changed? How come women who commit adultery no longer die? Did the ancestral spirits get tired of killing them off or something?

It still happened.