₦airaland Forum

ochukwuma15:
Good afternoon Nairalanders, i don't know the right section to paste this information so i decided to paste it in the general section.

12 types of people you are likely to observe in a public bathroom (bathroom not used by one individual) are:

1: People who go inside the bathroom and spend upto 30 minutes gazing at themselves before commencing their bathing.

2: People who go to the bathroom with a radio set or hand set (usually express music) and their music playing loud while they bathe.

3: People who spend an hour inside the bathroom casting and binding evil forces inside their bathing water.

4: People who rub pomade, powder, combs their hair, apply make -up and wear their clothes before comming out from the bathroom.

5: People who talk to themselve while bathing and occationally laughs aloud.

6: People who come out after taking their bath with soap foams all over them.

7: People who urinate inside their bathing water and bathe with the mixture.

8: People who releases a thunderous fart before and after taking their bathe.

9: People who brushes their teeth inside the bathroom and shaves their armpits and downstairs (everyday) before taking their bathe.

10: People who take their bathe (inside the bathroom) with their clothes on.

11: People who exhaust their water and shouts at their younger ones to bring more water to them.

12: People who urinates uncontrollably immediately they enter the bathroom to take their bathe.

Source: from my brain.

Please you can add yours, thanks. Happy sunday.

pls who or what is a bathroom

izsmike:
Who is France?

haba, u no remember say nah d guy wey dey live for ur backyard again, jumoke brother, d jumoke wey u dey poke 4 corror nah

DanTrizy:
Have been seeinq that on almost every thread on nairaland, and it's qettinq me pissed and confused at the same time. Pls fellow nairalanders what is the chemistry behind the sayinq?

pls can u translate it in french cos I don't understand hinglish

I'll comment wen I have a girlfriend

courage54:
H

watz d meaning of H now, spacebooking freak, go sleep joor if u no get wetin 2 du dis nite

SMH

Pls how do I comment on dis thread

Jakeattah:
Happy new month y'all


Like play like play 2014 has passed

na so we see d thing ohh, all izz well

Happy nu month, d blessing wey dey find u since January go
locate u dis month IJN...

Happy nu month, d blessing wey dey find u since January go locate u dis month IJN...

Amen, happy nu month everyone....

holatin:
Morning to u all. Is spacebooking now a sin? I booked a space on frontpage, with a motive to modify immediately but when I tried modifying I got the shock of my life dat I Ve been ban for space booking, I was so angry but I just calm. I think I deserve an apology for those four days ban. There is no rule against space booking in the rules of nairaland.
Even if it spacebooking, d mod can see that there hasnt been a permanent space booking on my profile, i always modify my post. But someone told me maybe a mod is on my heel, if dats true y can't u use another reason apart from spacebooking. During the ban I sent countless letter to seun Osewa but I gat no reply. Y should he reply me? who am I to him? But the mod that ban me should remember there is no permanent post, its either you leave it (death) or it leave you (sack, retrenched) thanks
Note: those that study in Europe, France etc u don't need to tell them here, let approach dis topic as needed first.
UP Nairaland
Feranmicharles, emperortony, Iceking, proffdada, mytime24, obi2cal, maccoyl, crazo, majekokobaje, dave5, 77Al, sparrow13, debqui, kelechimarie, qoaki3ki, aboyaji, liberate, jinghOAU, echobee, 175, satisfied, ddooskie, benitily, young, ryce,greatdeal1408, ameerasexy, ch1benz, ddooskie, onyeomaonyeoma, mhizdimple, isalegan,seunsky29, kesmakueli, tjfulloption, philo3, ismokeweed, Ebolaman, brokenTV, nobody, abiolainfo, dopeyomi, onetouch, iceberylin, dpress,young nice, lemini12, kesmakueli, Bombay, samakin, adepiero, hencq15, nosyke, yeskee, ezedon, maccoyl, bunmiogun, mistabiola, adekoonlay, kskpounding.

hmmnn, abeg make pesin summarize dis write up

kelechiMarie:
hey

abeg wetin una dey du 4 dis thread, cos I dey wonder






pls can anybody wake me around 5:30 so I go prepare go work

kelechiMarie:
hey

abeg wetin una dey du 4 dis thread, cos I dey wonder






pls can anybody wake me around 5:30 so I go prepare go work

iceberylin:
We dont sleep in FRANCE

smh

tosyne2much:
I have to come up with this write up because I am a youth and I know what it feels like to be a youth. This write up is based on my observations and encounter with other youths

Note - I'm not trying to say it applies to all youths so pls don't get it twisted

10 Sermon Youths Will Most Likely Find Uninteresting

1. Never Approach a Lady, Inform Your Pastor
Hmmmmmmm !! I can bet a million dollars that most youths will never find this kind of sermon interesting especially when a pastor condemn the idea of making your intentions known to a lady. They expect you to inform them about it and they would do that on your behalf

2. Never Allow A Male/Female Visitor Into Your Room
This one is a serious case. As a youth, I think the possibility of not allowing female visitors into your room or hostel at the expense of your salvation is next to nill.. I think most youths (students) will most likely turn deaf ears to this kind of sermon

3. Never Ask Questions Inside The Hall
We don't need a philosopher to tell us that an average student would like to communicate with friends during an exam. Hence, when a preacher preaches against communicating with other students even when their booklets are blank, they start looking as if you really want them to fall .. I guess an average student will most likely find this kind of sermon uninteresting

4. Pay Your Tithe Regularly Even When You Are In School
I must confess, this is a serious case. We once had this kind of sermon in my fellowship and you need to see the way discomfort and sadness was registered on the faces of virtually all the students ( you see them asking questions here and there )


5. Never Visit Your Fiance When He's Alone
I have listened to a sermon when the preacher condemned going to visit your future partner when he's alone in the house.. The ladies were advised to take their female friends along with them or not go at all. ( Discomfort was registered on the faces of most of ladies during the sermon )

6. Application Of Attachments & Make-Up Is A Sin
It takes the grace of God for a young lady to do without apply make-up (even the born again ones ). Ladies apply make-up by one way or the other,either consciously or unconsciously. They tend to start feeling uncomfortable when a preacher condemns the act


7. Fornication
We all know we are now in an era where sex seems to be the talk of the day.. An average youth is most likely to fornicate (does that sound stranger to you ? It shouldn't be 'cos it takes the grace of God to overcome fornication as a youth) Therefore, the probability that they would find this kind of sermon uninteresting is on d high side
( Some of them will start looking as if their ships just sank )


8. Don't Ever Date Until You Are Ready For Marriage
Most preachers preach against having a girlfriend or boyfriend not until you are ready for marriage. Youths of 21st century will never want to hear this. I guess it takes 5 out of 100 youths to do that

9. Stop Chatting On Social Networks
Social media has changed
everything and every youth is
under scrutiny. Youths will likely turn deaf ears to a sermon that has to do with condemnation of facebooking, 2go-ing and whatsapp-ing at the expense of salvation.

10. Never Reduce Your Age For Employment Purpose
Most youths reduce their age for employment purpose so they tend to start finding the sermon uninteresting when they know that using their real age might lower their chances of being employed

Feel free to add yours

Happy Sunday

well I agree wit ur post, happy Sunday

lalasticlala:
Sermon:
For All Those Who Fall Asleep in Church
Acts 20:7-12

Church sleepers beware.

If you think you can get away with sleeping in church then watch out! “A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday she took a long hatpin along with her to poke him with it every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he asked, ‘and who created the universe in six days and rested on the seventh?,’ she poked her husband, who came flying out of the pew and screamed ‘Good God almighty’.”

“A man liked to sleep frequently in church, so the pastor devised a plan. During one service the pastor asked his congregation while the man was sleeping, ‘All who want to go to heaven, please rise.’ Everyone stood up except the sleeper. Then, at the top of his voice, he bellowed, ‘All who wish to go to hell, stand up now!’ Only the sleeper stood up. The sleeper looked around and said, ‘I don’t know what we’re voting on, Reverend, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it’.”

Have you ever
fallen asleep
in church?

Some folk must really get into their Sunday School lesson because they are so worn out by the time the sermon rolls around that they just can’t help but fall asleep! Or maybe they have worked up such a sweat during the music that they are plumb tuckered out! Perhaps those taking forty winks during the sermon are resting up so they won’t doze off on the long drive home after service. Or they are simply getting ready for the energy they will expend buffet-ing their stomachs at Ryan’s after church.

Please don’t think I’m complaining about folks who fall asleep in church. I understand some people can’t help it. I am convinced that some people fall asleep in church during the sermon because their have a physical ailment. Some folk must have a snooze button attached at the appropriate place so that it is activated everytime the preacher says, “Please turn in your Bibles...”, and sets the alarm off when the preacher says, “Please stand…”!

It doesn’t really bother me when people fall asleep in church. It doesn’t even bother me if they snore during the sermon as long as it sounds like, “AHH-men”!

I confess to you today that I have fallen asleep during a sermon, or two, or twenty. I really haven’t kept track, but I must tell you that I have done something worse than falling asleep during a sermon. I once fell asleep standing up holding a hymnal and singing a congregational song! Were it not for the stiletto elbowing of the person holding the other side of the hymnbook, I might have been awakened by the floor!
Sleeping in church could be a good thing. Did you know if you came to church every Sunday and slept for 20 minutes during the sermon every week, you would have slept over 2 days in only 3 years!

On the other hand, the Bible records several bad things that happened to folks who fell asleep:
• Adam fell asleep
and woke up married and missing a rib!
• Samson fell asleep and woke up bald and beaten!
• Jonah fell asleep in the boat and woke up wet!
• Eutychus fell asleep and woke up dead!


Proverbs 6:10-11
10 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest--
11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.
(NIV)


Acts 20:7-9
7 On the first day of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight.
8 There were many lamps in the upstairs room where we were meeting.
9 Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead.
(NIV)

This passage of scripture is the earliest clear reference to the Christian practice of observing Sunday as a day of worship. The O.T. Jews met on the Sabbath or 7th day of the week, which was Saturday to commemorate the fact that God created the universe & everything in it in 6 days, & then on the 7th day He rested. So to the Jews, Sunday was to be a day of rest & worship. So those Jews who became Christians they continued to observe the Sabbath as well as the first day of the week. Early Christians began to meet on the first day of the week as a weekly celebration of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ from the dead.

Eutychus means “fortunate.” The Latin name for Eutychus is Fortunatus. But Eutychus is not very fortunate on this Sunday night. He definitely didn’t get away with sleeping in church. And this is the only mention of Eutychus in all of Scripture! Imagine looking down on earth from heaven and knowing that the ONLY thing for which you are remembered is that you fell asleep in church. By the way – let that be a warning to any of you who might be thinking of nodding off during today’s sermon…

It is interesting that Eutychus is not only remembered for this, his story mentions him by name.

Luke could have told this story and said, “One day Paul was preaching and going on and on, and someone fell asleep and fell right out of the window.”

But nooo. Luke calls him by name.

This is a tragic story! This boy went to church to worship God, and look what happened – he died! How would you feel if this happened to someone in a church service that you were attending? Would you say to yourself that no one could survive a fall from that height? Would you then become angry with God because you knew that the person would not have been dead if he had not been in that church service worshipping God? Some of us would react this way. Probably the boy’s parents and relatives felt this way, and they were very angry with God.

Why didn’t God pinch Eutychus and wake him up before he fell out of the window? Why didn’t God cause someone to notice that Eutychus was in trouble and in a precarious position?


Source: http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/for-all-those-who-fall-asleep-in-church-johnny-creasong-sermon-on-examples-of-faith-134427.asp

ok

SuperModerator:
Pope, is it your concern

people can keep killing themselves in the name of religion but my concern na say make their blood no stain me



modified,

this my brain amazes me sha, look at the stupid comment it made me type

shei u know say u b case sha, lolz

luvlyoracle:
I would be worse than him.

am shaking already...

lafuria1:
The site is back, I just checked.
Hacking gsmarena is most probably for small pride because there is nothing there. The mumu should aim for something bigger.

ohh I jst checked wit google chrome, itz ok n back, but au come my opera mini can't display d site cos my opera mini is my most preferred browser on phone

Tried accessing gsmarena dis morning and and I was redirected to a page with some guys face displayed where he is actually smiling, my best bet was maybe I dint type d url well, but on clicking d links I was redirected to a twitter page where people where commenting


Has gsmarena been hacked?



well I'd miss dem 4 d time being, and I hope they don't get to lose their data like we experienced here a couple of months back...

Noctis:
Nobody is forcing you to buy. I haven't offended you personally. There was no reason for you to make this comment on my thread. I'm not a store, just an independent user selling for a friend. Please mind your own business in the future for the good of all mankind.

bros just because u r an independent seller does not mean u'll overprice ur sellable items nah, did u expect everyone 2 jst accept ur price like dat? infakt 4 d fact dat u r an independent seller who does not have or pay 4 a shop, urs shld b cheaper dan d ones found in d market..

pls wat is nairaland, i skooled in togo

blink182:
Root the phone and install droidwall. If you get a phone with kitkat then it is in the phone setting to turn off background data usage.

chikena...

Brainrex:
blinkenlights.ch

thanks ojere... make me sef go start to dey prepare my fone for wiping and installing

...

charix:
Excellent marketing and promotional skills.
People with good ears would tell you its an entry level product but I don't remember seeing bose advertise in a rap video.
Most headphone consumers watch rap videos and want to wear what their favourite rapper does. Same as cars and alcoholic drinks.

In conclusion sh¡tty product, good marketing skills.

well, clap 4 ursef u hia, wch headphone u don produce, infakt wch headphone nigeria don produce sef,

av used beats headphones like the solo and the tour, av also used a sony headphone and they were all great headphones and brands


people wld always see reason y u should not be at top when u make it to the top, so keep hating ohh u hia...

SMALLPENIS:
I just did it in 12 secs, where is guiness?!

abeg meet dat guy wey dey sell beer near ur house make hin giv u 1 bottru

ggrin:
Baddest
""The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera
Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most
ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality
they seldom attack a human.""" But I typed mine within 8secs

but i copied and pasted in 3 seconds

""The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera
Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most
ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality
they seldom attack a human."""

Brainrex:
Mine
Android 5.0 Lollipop
Lockscreen
Home
Recents
About

seems u use xperia z, pls wia n how did u get the lollipop update, i'd really appreciate the link so i can groove d lollipop as well

@op d day u can use Nokia pin mouth charger to charge ur bb, den u can transfer credit from mtn to go...anything is possible

Evathyst:
Up Nairaland! Progress!


Dts d code for space booking, else ur plot would be sold to d highest bidder. Lolz! Coming back to comment later.

we still dey wait 4 ur comment ohh!!!

I'll comment wen I have network