Davidif's Posts
Nairaland Forum › Davidif's Profile › Davidif's Posts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 (of 287 pages)
 Crime › Re: Medical Doctor Arrested With Fake ABU Certificate In Ogun by davidif: 9:04pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Wow! |
| Jokes Etc › Re: 10 Most Hilarious April Fool's Day Pranks You Shouldn't Miss To Play Today by davidif: 9:02pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Lalasticlala, mynd44 and seun fp please. |
| Nairaland General › Re: April Fool's Day In History: How The Prank All Started by davidif: 8:59pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Hahaha, lalasticlala mynd44 you need to read this. |
| Celebrities › Re: Davido Romances South African Lady After Clubbing (Photos, Video) by davidif: 6:22pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
metallisc:That meme was priceless bruh. |
| Celebrities › Re: Chat Between PulseTV Presenter, Samera & Her Dad Who Needs A Grandchild by davidif: 6:08pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
lampard01:As in eh? She was calling her dad "oldie" and old man. |
| Celebrities › Re: Chat Between PulseTV Presenter, Samera & Her Dad Who Needs A Grandchild by davidif: 6:06pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Wait, did she just call her dad old man or oldie? Na wa oooo. |
| Celebrities › Re: Chat Between PulseTV Presenter, Samera & Her Dad Who Needs A Grandchild by davidif: 6:04pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Ikem11:And how are they sick? |
| Car Talk › Re: 7 Ways To Identify A Lagos-based Danfo Driver by davidif: 5:56pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
daamazing:How many Nigerians trafficate before they switch lanes? |
| Crime › Re: Lagos Accident Victim Robbed By 3 Men Who Came As Rescue Team by davidif: 5:52pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
TheRealGEJ:Wow!!! |
| Crime › Re: Indian Mob Bashes Kenyan Student, Thinking She Is Nigerian - Thisday by davidif: 5:33pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
centboy123456:You think most foreigners care? As far as they are concerned you are just another African.to them so keep deluding yourself bro |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 5:07pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Inricash:We need to hold our publicly elected officials accountable no matter whether they are from our party or not. It's frustrating to see Nigerians defend their elected representatives even when they have been caught red handed. |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 10:32am On Apr 01, 2017 |
vicky3:Since when did two wrongs make a right? It doesn't matter whether Buhari has or he does not have. You don't use other people's transgressions to justify your own. Wrong is wrong and right is right irrespective of who does it period. |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 10:02am On Apr 01, 2017 |
Inricash:Since when did two wrongs make a right? It doesn't matter whether Buhari has or he does not have. You don't use other people's transgressions to justify your own. Wrong is wrong and right is right irrespective of who does it period. |
| Romance › Re: Moving Back In! by davidif: 8:53am On Apr 01, 2017 |
MrsChima1:What?!?!?!?! Cereal ke?? |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 8:50am On Apr 01, 2017 |
DIKEnaWAR:When did he show us his certificate? Please tell tell us. 1 Like |
| Education › Re: Nigerians And Their Use Of The English language - BBC (Hilarious) by davidif(op): 8:10am On Apr 01, 2017*. Modified: 12:46pm On Apr 02, 2017 |
Blue3k:I tried reading Naija newspaper and it was so tiresome. First of all, it's as if this guys were not taught how to summarize in journalism school. There reports are waaaaaay too long. Secondly, the language is not even easy to follow and It looks like some of the writers are F. Scott Fitzgerald wannabe's they make it hard to read at times. Thirdly, they should know that a newspaper is for the masses and therefore they need to know how to explain some of the concepts and issues of the day (like recession, Naira devaluation, Inflation etc) so simply that the average man on the street can understand it and be well informed. There is a difference between writing for a literary audience and the masses in a country where English is not the native language. Lastly, there is waaaaaay too much fluff in the papers. If they will cut it down and the unnecessary interviews with every politician who has ever served Nigeria since 1960 the average newspaper would probably be 10 pages at most. 41 Likes 2 Shares |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 7:58am On Apr 01, 2017 |
venchy47:
|
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 7:57am On Apr 01, 2017 |
kelechi17:Since when did two wrongs make a right? It doesn't matter whether Buhari has or he does not have. You don't use other people's transgressions to justify your own. Wrong is wrong and right is right irrespective of who does it period. |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 7:55am On Apr 01, 2017 |
TeGaTeGa1:Since when did two wrongs make a right? It doesn't matter whether Buhari has or he does not have. Wrong is wrong and right is right irrespective of who does it. |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 7:33am On Apr 01, 2017 |
AceSkillz01:Who are you again? |
| Politics › Re: Allocations In 2017 Budget Lopsided – Clark by davidif: 6:02am On Apr 01, 2017 |
freeze001:It's amazing how people are screaming for allocations but yet will be the first people to claim they want to secede from the republic? I doubt that they understand that if they secede that there will be no more allocations. i dont think a lot of them get it. It's seems that most of them have not even thought it through that if they leave the Fed govt might just give there share to the remaining southern states. Either way sha, thats not the issue. The main issue is tha the problem with Nigeria in itself is this allocation. It is what fuels the corruption and the lack of productivity of the Nigerian state and It's so sad that so many people can't see that. Almost all the state's in this country are on life support and are being propped up by the Fed govt through allocations and until it is stopped, it looks like the country would continue to disappoint and underachieve. Nigeria does not need 36 states (neither does it need over 700 LGA's), that's waaaaaay to much. All it needs is 10-12 state's max (actually it would even be better if they were to scrap the states and go back to 6 regions) because we are spending way to much keeping them alive. In a company, if a division is not producing anything, it gets shut down, sold off or merged with another division. That's how things should be in govt also. What Nigeria needs is a bold and courageous leadership that isn't afraid to make the hard decisions and stop this allocation nonsense and force the states to generate there own revenue themselves through taxes. This way they can become self reliant and semi independent from the fed govt. If we do things this way (stop allocations, reduce tge number of states and empower tge local govts) It might be initially difficult for them but if the Fed govt provides them with assistance while transitioning them towards self reliance from the central govt eventually they might find there footing. This model is a lot better than the ones we are practicing now where the country just seems to wallow in mediocrity because almost everything in this country is state driven because there would be less money for this state govts and local govts to steal and this state and local govt leaders would have to be more efficient with taxpayer money and be innovative and look for ways to improve the lives of there citizens. 2 Likes |
| Education › Re: Nigerians And Their Use Of The English language - BBC (Hilarious) by davidif(op): 3:32am On Apr 01, 2017 |
Lalasticlala, Seun and Mynd44 FP please. 2 Likes |
| Education › Re: Nigerians And Their Use Of The English language - BBC (Hilarious) by davidif(op): 3:26am On Apr 01, 2017*. Modified: 10:56pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
'Wear out your listeners' As veteran Nigerian journalist and author Peter Enahoro noted in his 1966 classic, How to be a Nigerian, the power of Nigerian oratory is measured by the strength of the speaker's legs - and what better way to ensure that your speech never ends than to punctuate every sentence with a proverb or parable about the tortoise or the monkey. According to Enahoro: "A sprinkling of logical conclusions is permissible but not vital... If there are two ways of making a point, one short, the other long, plug for the longer route... The idea is to wear out your listeners, because the power of your oratory will be determined by the strength of your endurance. "If your listeners save their sanity and survive you, then you have made a poor speech." A powerful oratory can test an audience's endurance Despite modern technology, the general rules of Nigerian communication have obviously not changed much since Enahoro's observations. Many still hold on to the ancient belief that complexity of message is proof of power, intellect and influence. That supposed proof is probably more important to the Nigerian government official than whether or not you understand what he is trying to say. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-38827888 15 Likes 5 Shares |
| Education › Re: Nigerians And Their Use Of The English language - BBC (Hilarious) by davidif(op): 3:24am On Apr 01, 2017*. Modified: 10:55pm On Apr 01, 2017 |
Writing a love letter Back in my teenage years, long before the era of texting and sexting, there was only one way for a Nigerian boy to prove his sincere feelings for a girl: By writing a love letter. Any boy serious about catching the attention of the girl he fancied knew better than to do it in simple English. He had to find the right big words. "It is tempting to, as usual, blame the British for all this, for bringing us their English language and their pen and paper" If his vocabulary was lacking, there was always that nerdish classmate of his who, for a fee in cash or kind, could take on the role of scribe plenipotentiary. Either that or the boy could copy verbatim from a love letter already written by someone else. And so, the typical love letter that many of us Nigerian girls received went something like this: "My dearest, sweetest, most magnificent, paragon of beauty, I hope this letter finds you in a current state of sound body and mind. "My principal reason for writing this epistle is to gravitate your mind towards an issue that has been troubling my soul. "Even as I put pen to paper, my adrenalin is ascending on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the mirror in my eyes have only your divine reflection, the wind vane of my mind is pointing north, south and east at the same time. "Indeed, when I sleep, you are the only thought in my medulla oblongata and I dream about you..." If these sweet nothings were from a boy in whom you had absolutely no interest, the thing to do was to set his letter ablaze, enclose the ashes in an envelope and promptly return to sender. Nigeria's notorious 419 internet scammers adopted this same tradition of using high-sounding words. Persuading gullible foreigners to part with millions of dollars and pounds is serious business, definitely not a task for everyday words and simple sentences. A typical excerpt from a 419 scam letter reads something like this: "Dear Sir, "I do not come to you by chance. "Upon my quest for a trusted and reliable foreign businessman, I was given your contact by the Nigerian Chamber of Commerce and Industry. I hope that you can be trusted to handle a transaction of this magnitude. "It is risk-free, as all modalities have been put in place for a smooth and successful conclusion. "Thus, I crave your distinguished indulgence and honest cooperation to guarantee that this mutual transaction will be executed under a legitimate agreement that will benefit you and lend credence to my humble belief in your honesty and trustworthiness." Like the 419 scammers and the love-struck lads, many Nigerian government officials choose the path of verbosity, expansiveness and repetition in their press releases. Of course, it is tempting to, as usual, blame the British for all this, for bringing us their English language and their pen and paper. But then, communication was not any less complicated in the days before Nigerians learnt to write press releases in English. 95 Likes 10 Shares |
| Education › Nigerians And Their Use Of The English language - BBC (Hilarious) by davidif(op): 3:24am On Apr 01, 2017 |
As much as i love Naija and its people there are some things that really irritate me about the country and its the way they communicate with English language. Nigerians think that in other for them to express themselves in the English language, they have to uses flowery and superfluous words even when they know that a simple one would do. I came across this hillarious piece from the BBC that described this frustration i have with Nigerians and boy did it feel good to finally run into someone who shared my frustration with the Nigerian people. Enjoy hahahaha. Letters from Africa: Nigeria's art of flowery language In our series of letters from African journalists, novelist and writer Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani considers the art of Nigerian verbosity. My friends in the international media are perplexed by the flowery language often used in press releases from Nigerian officials. The pretentious diction, dying metaphors and padded sentences would make George Orwell somersault in his grave. Take, for example, this paragraph from a press release by the Nigerian parliament: "The seminar is aimed at making good the promise of the National Assembly that we are on the same page with the President Buhari led administration and in line with the legislative agenda, that there is a synergy between the National Assembly and the Presidency in the fight against corruption. "It is to reaffirm the point that you cannot clap with one hand. It is our way of saying that there must be a legislative strength to back the anti-corruption stance of the present administration." Here is another example, this time a paragraph from a Nigerian military press release: "The Nigerian Army in synergy with other security agencies under its constitutional mandates... acted responsively in order to de-escalate the deteriorating security scenario in-situ. "Instructively, the military and other security agencies exercised maximum restraints against the odds of provocative and inexplicable violence that were employed against them... "It is rather inconceivable for any individual or group to have decided to inundate the general public with an anecdote of unverified narratives in order to discredit the Nigerian Army in the course of carrying out its constitutional duties despite the inexplicable premeditated and unprovoked attacks..." Such long-winded passages can also be found in the local press, which commonly use expressions such as "the remains of the deceased have been deposited in the mortuary", "men of the underworld", "hoodlums" and "tantamount to insubordination". Foreigners wonder why Nigerian government officials do not opt for simpler language. Are they intentionally trying to confuse the public or to conceal information? Well, these press releases are simply following an age-old Nigerian tradition of verbal ornamentation. For us, important information has always been best conveyed with grandiloquence.  58 Likes 10 Shares |
| Forum Games › Re: Stroop Test – Test Your Mental Vitality And Flexibility by davidif: 3:11am On Apr 01, 2017 |
I quit at the third line. 2 Likes |
| Politics › Re: Dino Melaye Shares His Convocation Pictures With His Parents And Others by davidif: 3:01am On Apr 01, 2017*. Modified: 8:22am On Apr 01, 2017 |
Tossynews:Dude, where is your BSc? Stop skirting round the issue. You can post as many pictures as you want but you still haven't answered the question that started it all. You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time - Anonymous 94 Likes 6 Shares |
Haba!!!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 (of 287 pages)