₦airaland Forum

Rukemi291: Mine, i worked as a 'trainee desk officer' in a dental clinic located within one of the 5-star hotels in Abuja.
A white woman (the wife of the chief dentist) is the MD.
Whenever she walks into the clinic, i start shaking visibly coupled with the terribly cold temperature of the Hotel because all she does is throw me off balance and complain about everything including the way i write letter 'd'; she shouts and embarrasses even in the presence of waiting patients.

If she says 'jump', who born you to ask 'how high?'.. Just keep jumping until she says stop.
She behaves like someone that uses weed as sugar, salt, maggi, even spices.

She came to the office one wonderful Friday and told me 'i have bad news for u, i can no longer pay your monthly #27,500 (that day i counted #500,000 that patients paid for treatment o).

But, she indirectly led me to my present job sha(the best job i can think of).

One day, i will walk into the dental clinic and get my teeth done by her husband. I can't wait to see the expression on her face.

Are u prayin 4 toothache??

Miss road, wrong thread... #soobbss: whr is ma mummy#

SimonAndal: Omeri has gotten High! His hands are up in Sky! When I see him passing by, everybody knows his high! High! High! High! And it's ova for him!
What the french has local stations got to offer? Only religious programs, religious programs, and even more religious programs.
All hail the garri Mr. Omeri just smoked.

lmao... Tonto dike's syndrome...

Imagine myslf watching NTA Ilorin & KWTV(Kwara T.V) everyday. Chai I swear, I go dull paz Okija-juju... #tongueout2im#

I see dix idea as a welcm development, recently dre was a thread on FP bou 10 most haunted plc on earth wit sme of den serving as tourist attractn site... Mak money sha enta na im b d koko...

pekelepekele:

eh yah poverty, You are living in a single room apartment . Your problem is poverty not the snorer but for the main time let earpiece be your friend with lovely music playing

haaaaaa... The guy fit dey play terryG music slip naa, he go jst increase d vol. of d music pass im cousin own...

Tascocent: Abeg i need help cos dis my cousin don't want mi 2 enjoy my sleep, read or du anytin serious while he is sleeping. I don tire..........

Dey wear ear-muff slip naa...

nameo: MINISTRIES, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) have been barred from using foreign cars beginning from 2013, the Minister of Trade and Investment, Mr Olusegun Aganga, has disclosed.

The minister, speaking at the end-of-year media chat, during the second annual seminar for trade and investment correspondents and business editors, on Monday, in Abuja, stated that the directive, which he said was from President Goodluck Jonathan, was aimed at promoting made-in-Nigeria goods, conserve the foreign exchange ressrves and boost job creation in the country.

He said as from January 2013, it would be an offence for any MDA to buy foreign vehicles for official purposes, adding that failure to comply would attract a sanction.

Although, the minister observed that local vehicle plants might not be able to immediately meet local auto demands, he, however, stated that such MDAs needed to exercise patience, because the local plants would eventually meet their demands.

On the importance of patronising Nigerian made goods, the minister said the excuse of the poor quality of these goods by Nigerians had been addressed by the admonition to the Standards Organisation of Nigeria (SON) to see that goods coming into the markets were of high quality.

As part of the government investment climate reform programme, he said the Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) had been able to achieve 24 hours registration service, while the country was able to attract foreign investment worth N8.9 billion to the economy in 2011.

With the 2011 feat, Aganga said Nigeria had become the most preferred investment destination in Africa and the world, as 20 per cent of world trade comes to Nigeria currently.

http://www.tribune.com.ng/news2013/index.php/en/component/k2/item/1336-no-more-foreign-cars-for-mdas-fg

http://www.punchng.com/business/industry/new-auto-policy-is-ready-minister/

This ll not only hlp sales of 9ja made cars, oda foreign car manufacturing company ll b forced 2kum open dir own manufacturing plant here. All in all sha *employment opportunities*...

CFCfan: Mr Chukwuma (CEO of Innoson) go dey dance Azonto, etighi and gangnam style now

This policy, if faithfully implemented, could potentially lead to d creation of millions of jobs for mechanical/electrical engineers, due to increased demand for locally-made cars.

and chemical engrs too. Bros abeg try gimme hope na...

Mcdondayan: These men should be promoted after success in the battle field.

whc battle 9ja wan go fait??

miiraaj: GEJ needs special prayers. I think he has been cursed,and whoever cursed him is dead. That's the reason he does things from the reverse.

Daddy G. O prayed 4him d oda day oo, if not 4dat prayer na James Ibori he 4appoint... *shinesteeth*

[quote author=GARRI (x7)]Anenih is chairman of NPA; Tukur, TCN

The Federal Government last night announced the reconstitution of the boards of four of its parastatals, the National Ports Authority, the Nigerian Maritime Administration And Safety Agency (NIMASA), the Corporate Affairs Commission, CAC and the Transmission Company of Nigeria, TCN.


Chief Anthony Anenih is to act as chairman of NPA, Abu Kefas is chairman of NIMASA, Chief Funsho Lawal, chairman of CAC and Engr. Hamman Tukur, Chairman of the board of the reconstituted TCN.

www.vanguardngr.com/2012/12/anenih-is-chairman-of-npa-tukur-tcn/?utm_source=&utm_medium=twitter[/quote]why do we always go in cycle in dix country, are dre no young seasoned mind to take charge of NPA? Instead of rotating al dix corrupt mind'd olf faggs... Btw Bode & Anineh abeg who corrupt pass

Kull

[quote author=Okija_juju]Michelle Obama dancing Atilogwu


https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsdftebbuX1qf19n7.gif[/quote]Na Okija juju madt paz 4nairaland oo. Chai I don die wit laauuuffff..... Mr. Moderator abeg ban dix man(Okija_juju) e don mak me lauf brk plate.

Genuine gists: London, Dec 20 (ANI): President Obama has admitted that he loves PSY's 'Gangnam Style', much to his daughters' embarrassment.

In an interview with People magazine, Obama said that he does the South Korean rapper's infamous dance at home in the White House, with the sole purpose of winding up Malia and Sasha, the Daily Mail reported.

"They're cooler than I am. There are things I like that they think are cheesy, like Gangnam Style. I love that," he said.

Even his wife admits it is "a little embarrassing" when he attempts to do the routine. (ANI)


http://news.yahoo.com/obama-does-gangnam-style-dance-around-white-house-072149952.html

choiii, see fyn gals... Flyin 2 America to grit ma inlaw (Obama) wit helicopter filled wit yams. I must flenjoy dix xmas there...

Denn: clear evidence that you were a PS student. We were the bomb at mini campus....life there was wonderful. we had unilorin bakery, OPC (for hot superb Amala,), we had SUB (the original-fully infested with photocopiers and zobo sellers) and the TV was always on MM channels and not supersport...could remember the 9/11 saga (one of the few times we tuned to CNN)

as regards slangs, we have the famous 'aro' guys of H1 block....pure jesters that made school life fun. we have 'june 12'....not in reference to abiola but to the ever formidable mix of bread and hot beans all for twenty naira a plate. we had 'abbatior' and thar was the Institute of Technology [I.O.T] located within the campus notorius for the cult attacks......there was a guy called DMX then with tattered timberland boots who oppressed and 'obtained' guys and ladies alike for protection money; mafia style.

remembered 'mister peep' but have forgotten the story line....seems he was caught peering through the windows of female hostels devouring those fresh undergraduate 'blessings'.....Unilorin ladies can over-form.... those law students in their white and black....enjoyed library-toasting them....best form of toasting.....just take a piece of paper and write out your mind then pass to her. you ask her to reply and the 'chat' starts....it all ends at the Gym at night near the prayer ground with light kisses and giggles......thats a story for another day.....


all these happened over a decade ago

cheers

there is the all common motion ground where i took all those 'weird' looking photos of mine.....

Bros, tins don change oo. All students av bin moved to P. S xpect Medical, Anatomy & Physiology(2nd yr) students who av also moved to dir own P. S afta kwara poly(old Jebba rd) i.e new teaching hospital site. Mini campus is nw bin used by Unilorin sec. Sku students...

If all the stadium in 9ja ar dix beautiful, au kum d pitch of stadium use durin NPL matches ar cancerous to d eyes??

My Mum wanted me to study medicine nd surgery, why ma Dad want'd me to study Computer Engr. Buh I tld dem its eida Chem. Engr or Industrial Chemistry, xo glad dey allowed me. Xo I'l allow ma kids 2mak dir own choices...

Paulipopor: hmmm! Ok.

.
"hmmm! Ok" beta I ws xpectin 1st to comment. U try kip it up...

[quote author=A-ZeD]Oga you are in charge of welcoming new members to the ministry. Leave finance to those of us in the finance department.

OP congrats.[/quote]Bros abeg stop rough play oo, whc tym we induct u into the finance dept of our NL ministry PLC LTD?? *strongface* Na nxt yr be anoda induction program, closed 4dix yr alrdy. So u go gas wait 4ur tym. Rememba ur induction fee is #15K...

yuzedo: Oboy!!!! So how "that place" wan come be na?? Na 4 x 4 caterpillar tractor go fit access am??

Bros, abeg educate me, na whc place u dey tok abt??:-(

street disciple: Fvcking asians..... They're fvcking good at evrytn
Except perhaps fvcking

thumbs up bro, I can c dat u nw smoke china made igbo...

Na 2kum do Kettu-Ojota remain 4dem...

RIP...

Ishilove: Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
 
Another method:
 
Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.
 
CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.
 
And another. . .
 
Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.
 
**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.

Nota bene

All dix skills are needed particularly in dix yelutide period...

Adeola bamiduro: Emu-tea-hen in ilorin is zero.i am now usin my etisalat sim for some days now.

Am in Ilorin too, ma mtn network service is quiet gud...

norababie: I got a text telling me "please bear with us till next year"

dat one mean say na smoke, town crier, gong & oda archaic means of communicatn U go go bk 2until dem rectify am nxt yr b dat...

caukerzee: Please go try other networks before you begin to make dumb assumptions. MTN is never the best at the moment, they were but not anylonger. The only beat others at popularity contest. Talking about call rates, have you checked GLO lately?

Broda 4whr, na b4 b4 glo bin cheap oo, nw na cutlass dem tak dey cut ma money... Dou u cn convince me wit d code of tarriff u ar using nd d call rate...