₦airaland Forum

LagosBoi2:
I got the number copied,please delete it for security.

OK, thanks

LagosBoi2:
It is your birthday my darling wife, I have to make public this letter because you are the best thing that ever happened to my life and I can't keep silent anymore.

My friend and lover of 16 straight years, It is usual for husbands to appreciate their wives in the name of marriage but it is unusual to state reasons for the appreciation.

I think you don't just love, there should be genuine reasons to love, I will purge out my thoughts on the reasons you should be the most celebrated wife on earth.

As a young man, if all you ever wish for is to meet your partner a virgin, I personally NEVER wished for it but women who still keep their virginity against all odds for the right man should be specially celebrated in today's crazy world. Amazingly I can confidently say that I am the only man in her life for 16yrs until date, she is a completely faithful wife.

We have never had any issues over infidelity on her part during our courtship and marriage till date, I have been the one misbehaving through the years, growing up was crazy, I was the one exploring life and doing all I could but she submitted her life to me.

As a multi talented young lady, she submitted her career and life to me, believing in me despite all my mistakes, she is the only person that understands me even without an explanation to my human mistakes.

I can not easily forget her usual lines after giving her piece of advice, she will say "I do not see you as my husband, I see you as my own son, If my son should do this same thing you have just done, will i disown him?", "you are still young, you will outgrow these behaviours and be the best man for me"

I lost my biological mother 11 yrs ago but If I call you my mother, I have a genuine reason to do so because you stood by me in a way that only a mother can.

The 16yrs wasn't all rosy, about 9 of the 16 years was full sufferings and poverty, even when I lost hope in myself, you continued to have high hopes in me without any iota of doubt.

We were homeless on two occasions in our lives and then with 2 kids, you endured with me, staying with your mom while I stay with a friend, you even came to live with me in my friend's place.

Despite the humiliation, you refused to give up on me, you absolutely signed off your whole life to me. At a point you wore your best cloth to a company where I asked you to help me submit a proposal, a young lady tapped you to inform you that your dress is torn at the back.

If you have ever had to wear a cloth that is so used up and begins to split into two from the back, you will understand what this means, my wife came home and narrated the issue to me, she actually saw the dress before wearing it, she wore it because she had no better one to wear

I couldn't control my emotions, I began to cry like a baby, I can never forget what she told me that faithful day, she said "Baby, don't worry, the same me wearing torn cloths today will have enough to wear tomorrow, I will even be giving out because it will be excess" Behold 7yrs after her words came to pass, cloths and female accessories are the least of her worries.

Your wisdom is extraordinary even me your husband can not match, your heart so pure that you forgive the unthinkable. Your ways so pure that you find it difficult to tell a lie. You gave me a girl and 2 boys. 12yr, 6yr and 2yr respectively.

You stood by your promise to see me through to success, If you look for a woman who gives in everything into a relationship without blinking, that is my wife.

You politely correct me when I am wrong, you warmly advise me and leave me to make my final decisions, you respect me as a father not as a husband.

Your culinary skills are the best I have ever known, friends and family can testify to this, you are the best mother to our kids, your daughter calls you the best mom in the world, I also call you the best wife and mother in the world. They say no perfect human but you are near perfect. You are so beautiful that people who do not know you conclude that you must have several men in your life spending money on you to look younger and beautiful even after 3 kids.

I can go on and on because there is a lot to talk about you that is not open to others, you live a private life without desperation for anything in life, You are a woman of honor, dignity, value with undying strength to carry on and remain focus against all odds.

I promise to guide our union with my life, protect our family with my strength and celebrate you for the rest of your life.

Happy birthday my darling wife!

You are indeed the best!

Please help move this to FP today 26 Feb to celebrate a good woman's birthday.

Add: On your request, I have added pics.

Thank you.

Felt like crying when reading through,
Wish I could have an opportunity to speak to her. Bro I wouldn't mind if it is to talk to her on your phone.

Girlwhocares:
He's highly intelligent which is a great turn on for me in any relationship,we never dated,but we were good friends!
The issue of us getting married was as a result of making his intention known to my people which they accepted all cos he was a good guy whom my mum said he knows he will never treat me wrong!
Yes,i accepted to marry him not for love cos all through our friendship i never see us as lovers but i thought i will overcome all the anxieties and will grow to love him as we grow together(what my mum made me understand)now
I have been struggling with feelings of loving him and its isnt just adding up.

Leave the long story. Leave excuse of it is just not happening, Nothing just happens. He was your friend and you relate as friends, you got married and you continuedon't the friendship lifestyle with bringing in romance. Change your mindset and put your husband in the romantic position where he should be. Act with him the way you see lovers do be determined to make it work. You can as well talk to him so he doesn't think you are up to something when you start such intimation. Better still, you can set it up for him to hear you saying it in prayer.

Firstsonkingkin:
I have followed this blog for year now, but this is my first comment so far because I believe being ghost member while people need an idea to stand upon wouldn't help me in future...

On this 1 million... I will suggest two business for you

1. agriculture, note! Not poultry, you can start up agricultural business like pepper and plantain with 1 acres of land and make double of that 1 million in just 3 to 5 months . But your location being Abuja, this may be kind of stressful for you because I am into it running from Lagos down to ibadan where I have a farm, I know the stress in it

2. You can as well like me start up London use phone with or without experience, note! Not as a retailer who go for a shop, but as a distributor, come to think of it... Samsung Galaxy S8+ London use is sold at around 70k-90k here in Nigeria depending your location while as the price as an importer/distributor you will be getting it as low as 35k-50k from abroad depending on your own source and would be making at least 10k gain from each you sell to retailers here in Nigeria... This one for someone who is engaged already is better than farm..

In any of it that draw your attention, please feel free to contact me through my email agbamskings@gmail.com
I would help as much as I can

Please do you have more info on the farming in ibadan

Babalegba:
Your idea is extremely bad. We are trying to discourage herdsmen from the south, not encourage them. Cow money is blood money in Nigeria because of the violent tendencies and criminal activities of the herdsmen. Really bad idea.

I hope you have also stop eating beef to discourage herdsmen

Lolabisi007s:
Playing with myself she just looked at me and I saw the look on her face she was disappointed in me I apologize to her and promise won’t repeat such ever again

But you know you are not keeping that promise, you still do it

makydebbie:
Microwaving my bra, no be small beating I chop that day.
A week later the microwave spoilt, part two beating followed.

Are you serious? Like you did that?

MissGodOwn:
Must u people always bring up topics that will eventually lead to a gender war on this forum, abeg bring up more interesting n educative posts.

You get sense

ladyF:


She’s here

Wow wow.
Like someone stated and from you profile I see you have been busy

Just saw a post which reminded me of her.
I remember those days when I just started visiting nairaland she was one of the first people I noticed, a very active commentator just like our today's and alway ending her comments with
"It's LadyF again"

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

Madam will you tell your sister who lives far/out of the state, low on budget and has a project of about a month in your vicinity to stay in hotel instead of squat with you?

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

Treat him like a your brother, talk to him but don't be in a rush about it.
Let him know it is not about you but something he needs to learn for his good as a man. Don't attack him when he does it again instead just tease him about it, you can even give him a kitchen nick name (but make sure it doesn't sound offensive to him) that will make him dislike going there again.
For now also try as much as possible to let him have enough food then slowly you start letting him to know that for the sake of his brother's progress there is need to save cost.

By the way, I hope you are not the type who don't like in-laws being around.

huptin:
When the people of Bayelsa voted out that nonsense governor, some people were saying nonsense, how can you fail at giving your people basic amenities but expect your people to keep voting for you just because you are in PDP?

Not only that, they ran pipes for direct supplies all over the town

[quote author=FrLukas post=86005967]Was he forced to assault the lady?[/quoote]

They might have been doing somethings before hence he might not know she had a different motive that day.
You will ask if she gave consent that day, hope you know a good percentage of females (including wives and girlfriends) put up a form/show of resistance every time day have sex.

It's ambiguous

FrLukas:
Lol.

This is stale actually. I've read the post on Instablog as well as the original post on the girl's page on instagram.

You think they will just fire one of their own without overwhelming evidence?

According to the girl, there's actually a recording of the incident.

And you believe genuine assault can be recorded without previous arrangement?
May we not fall into the hands of evil ones

We4all:
Your story is quite inspiring, and I'm glad things worked out for you. But encouraging people to tow your path doesn't hold sway, cos it may backfire. I know a guy who did something similar, and 10 years down the line, he is poorer than he was.

The truth is, if you can afford a flamboyant wedding, by all means, do it! This is because, weddings are memorable, and are expected to take place once in a life time.

There are three chapters in one's life:birth, marriage and death. If people celebrate births and funerals, then weddings shouldn't be less celebrated.

Nevertheless, if you can't afford a loud wedding, then opt for something small with few guests. But make it simple and classy, and don't be like the OP, cos serving his guests biscuits was in bad taste.

Being poor is one thing, planning right is another. @OP, you shouldn't have entertained your guests with biscuits,(cos I assume they were all adults). Instead, 2 mudus of rice served in take away packs could have done the magic. And if there was less money for malt, then you could have opted for zobo drinks which is cheaper and even more delicious than malt drinks.

The problem most Nigerians have when it comes to weddings is that, while they can afford to cater for only 50 guests, they end up inviting 500, just so they can have more contributions from them.

If your budget can only entertain 50 people, then plan for that number and don't end up inviting more numbers so you don't serve them biscuits just like the OP.

The lesson is not just about the low wedding, they didn't just decide to marry but they saw a brighter future with planning and working for it together. Problem is many of us (both poor and we'll to do) live beyond our income. As long as you save little from whatever you earn and use it to improve yourselves (personal, business,
career continuously) automatically you are growing.

Did his guests complain to you? If he served biscuits, that was his choice. Rice and drinks sounds good to you yet to many people it is still too low. He didn't invite then to feed them but to witness his marriage. Mind you he might have told them upfront that that was what he will serve.

Taniaa:
I read your moniker as 'amala tutu'

If I tell you, your interpretation of it is of better meaning than mine

Pussywar:
Shut up, please. Enough with the submission talk. When will y'all realise that doesn't happen anymore? If you need a woman to place herself under you to be confident, you're the weakest thing. Bye

As wise as you are you forgot to tell me "enough with the love talk too"

Forward77:
Take my advise.

Men are big babies and you know babies are possessive and stubborn.

You have to understand that he’s your husband and not just anyone else.

He said clearly that women who work are not submissive.
He’s right about that.

Don’t argue with him. Show him that you are not going to be rebellious.

Don’t nag at him Learn to negotiate with your husband. Treat him you will treat yourself, because you won’t nag at yourself, but you’ll rather negotiate.

Don’t destroy your marriage now It’s obvious that he’s no more comfortable being around you; you have to make him feel comfortable. To have him with you because if you start to loose him, small girls with big gODS with snap him up.

Marriage is not always easy There’re no perfect marriages, so learn to compromise and always apply negotiation to avoid having a destroyed home.

From my understanding, there’s something you’re doing that is making him take such a decision and others things he does.

We know you’re a graduate and want to work and all that, but lower your standards and remember that you’re married.

The secret weapon is NEGOTIATION

I wish you good luck

God bless you, you practically pointed out the causes of problems in marriages today. When most women gets settled in relationships they become to self centered and loose submisiveness. What they won't argue with their child or outsiders they start arguing with the husband
Respect they give outsiders they won't give their man yet they want to be treated like queens. How is that attainable

Rule of marriage:
Man love your wife, woman submit to your husband
If any party is not accepting this then he/she is destroying the union

Love births submission and submission fuels the love a man has for the wife.

A man approaching a lady must show love for her to accept him, she submits to him that is why he could take his money to go *pay* her bride price (who pays to get trouble if she didn't show submissiveness)

Now the problem starts when after marriage one of them ignores his/her function in the rule

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

this is not always the case,
Sometimes people see the challenges (that comes with time in a relationship) as toxic so a fresh relationship appears better but most cases they will later meet the same challenges again.

They left the first instead of fixing the issues

robertmugabe:
Lalastical pls help a brother by pushing this to front page...thanks


I am writing this with sadness of mind and a sense of worthlessness. Standing tall to see my self as a loving man that lacks capacity to take care of his lovely woman by averagely acceptable standard continues to tie me to perpetual tragedy that can only be wiped out only, as of now, if miracle happens. This decision I am about to take is like committing suicide but at this point in time, it is worth taking, in the spirit of selflessness. I have a very beautiful girlfriend, so charming, respectful, well mannered, God-faring, submissive, caring to me like my mother would, not money freaked and above all, consistently committed to Gods things. I can boldly say, she is fit into the dream woman of any sensible man alive. I do love her dearly and in her I found a cushy and scenery environment that persistently dispense a fragrance of love comfort.

As it is, I am 32 years old, dangling in the middle of hopelessness of everyday living and meagre finance that hardly accommodate my personal feeding and support my struggling activities to make fortunes. I have been struggling and trying hard to hit the jackpot and yet to no meaningful results. You know life can be so brutally funny especially for those who comes from the lower cadre of the societal strata.

I can hardly point to anything tangible I have brought to the table since the inception of the relationship which is running to a year and four months now. This sometimes calls me to shame and constantly configure me to think of not worth the girl at all. Till today, some of my friends still they tell me say ah get luck with my babe. How else should I describe a babe who is in the middle of many compelling and intimidating options and yet still firmly stand by me.

As I am writing, I am planning to breakup with her for a number of reasons which are summarily analysed into two;

1) I can not afford her to be the first to breakup with me when the time to do so presents itself. Though I am not sure of this but I once had a dream in this regard.

2) Even if she decides to stay and marry me, I can not afford watching her living a tattered life which i can only afford for now. And if care is not taking and I insistently decide to take her under my roof, I may be forced to engage in illegality to scoop money that can take care of her soft textured skin and at least propel our union to standard.

Some may call my decision a product of inferiority complex but I call it an act of selflessness.

If I post me and my babes pictures here, you may likely have a practical and nucleus understanding of my explanations so far, but I will not do this for safety of identity. I can not just withstand seeing her without adequate and proper care. I think she is too good and beautiful to share in my fate of economic koboko. Someone like her deserves the best hands and i can therefore make bold to recommend her for any upright and economically buoyant man alike. So, I better not waste her time further.

My plans after the breakup, is to find another babe that is compatible with my real value and with thick skin that is absorbent to the middle class suffering that I have to offer for now. Or better still, a ready made woman who does not even need me to live a life she so desire.

It is far from my wish and a sad one at it, to take this decision of alienating my self from someone after my heart, from someone that i think of almost at every idle moment and from someone who has seen my naked soul completely many times over. However, if I really do love her, then it is just doubtlessly and fundamentally worthwhile to take the decision to save someone I love and somebody's daughter from impending rough and emaciated household economy. I am not a pessimist though. I am just a realist. If ah eventually make ham and she is still available and I am still available as well, maybe we can still come back together, but if she is taken, then so be it, but I promise to stand firmly by her in any scheme outside her matrimonial relationship...

I LOVE MY OLUWATOSIN...

Pls how best can I breakup with her ?

Hmm, I had similar experience though mine was more complicated. I initiated our separation out of good will, she begged for us to continue but I couldn't bear being a problem to her. We separated, I stayed away from relationships, she tried 2 others but couldn't cope (made me realize how much I spoiled her).
We finally made up but now things are no more these same, in summary I realize she is no longer zealous about relationships but interesting in getting married.

My advice explain things plainly to her, tell her your fears, if she is ready to face the battle let her know it's 50/50 and be ready to find happiness in both case scenario.
As for you don't ever go back if you are the one who called it off. You definitely will meet a different person.

GoldenEstacy:
In my own opinion, both are important. It's better that one finds a partner while pushing a career. Both can go together, especially if you meet a partner who wants you to also grow.
I personally, will try to manage both and settle with the person.

Brilliant answer.

But most ladies find it hard to balance both and they abuse it when they get such partner, as they grow they change towards their partner.

bezzus:
. It is never i am at anger one the the major actor met with my sis and confirmed that it was just a name coined for a spirit. and never 'I am at anger.

Like seriously I have been wondering how it became *i am an anger* cos the much I remember she shouts that as a call not an expression. These days Over education don dey worry people to much

Israeljones:
2nd and 3rd pic...That guy doesnt look happy at all....
Mr Man Re-treat b4 its too late...

They both made serious look in those pose

Safitu:
The man is not under any spell. The reality is that a lot of men endure cheating from their wives contrary to what you read on social media. Do you know what marriage entails? It’s not just a ceremony, it’s a physical and spiritual bonding, a soul tie that becomes extremely difficult to get out of, especially after many years and reproducing together. It just takes a lot of strength and grace to walk out. A lot of men do not come out to confess the problems their wives put on them because it’s a huge dent to their ego. Just pray that you marry a virtuous woman because it’s not easy.

God bless you for this piece

Davebrown13:
She's a graduate of mathematics education in unilag. She's sound.

Smart, but I just don't know the flaws thats in her body that wants to consume us. She beautiful too. But its not a situation to endure.

If I was in my dads shoes, I would have sent her packing long ago.

But my dads reasoning is bewildering... He just doesn't like separation or anything that will devour peace. And keeps his problems to himself.

This is one of the source of the problem, female mathematicians are mostly troublesome, high-minded, proud, they hardly want to be corrected, always right, perfectionist, seeing everything as a competition they must win.

Chi59:
Exactly what happened between me and the first guy I loved.
Despite my good qualities, I did everything I could to get him to like me. Several years later, I found out he simply wasn't attracted to me.
We're still friends though.

Sometimes we need to break certain holds/ philosophies to make relationship work.
For you to blend you must allow your partner to pass through you in some ways. Let your belief/principles rub each other.
Unfortunately what we preach today is don't let anybody change you. We are not perfect, even as adults we need people who care to tell us our flaw and we work on them.

Adaego5:
Help! I Am In A Serious Dilemma!!

Please what does it mean when a man tells his woman that he is not connected to her?

I was in courtship with this guy late 2017, we were working towards getting married. we broke up sometime in 2018. Since then, it's been difficult for me to love again. I really loved him and could go extreme for him.

He has tried going into other relationships same as me but non worked. So we decided to give us a shot once more, I was happy and felt whole again.....

He is very principled. Now he is saying that he doesn't feel that connection between us. He said I am everything, intelligent, smart, beautiful, hardworking, a graduate, Godfearing with good home upbringing, from a god background, tall infact taller than every girl he has come across but he just doesn't feel that connection between us. When it comes to qualities, I am better than every girl he has met. He went ahead to tell me of a girl who he felt that connection with but she broke his heart. I am shattered and devastated once more.

Its easy to say move on, but easier said than done. It took me months to move on, i was only able to by trying to hate him. One of the reasons why I really loved him was because he never tried taking advantage of me as I am a virgin.

He never for one day talked me into it unlike some other guys I have met.I have been so good to him, he confessed that no girl has loved and treated him like I did. I have been trying to understand this whole connection thing.... Where am I going wrong. I am not a boring person, there is no boring moment with me. Most guys I have met always tell me that I am priceless and some keep coming back but I find it hard to like them.
I only keep remembering the beautiful memories we shared.
I am so devastated..... I really wanted us to work things out ..

Sincerely this is exactly what I am experiencing now, for a moment I thought my girlfriend wrote this until I had to remind myself that I have not opened up to her.

The basis of it all is that there is no genuine friendship between you guys.
Do you spend quality time together?

Importantly do you accept his views and instructions.
Tell yourself the truth, Does he complain about your attitude or something about you?
Do you talk and joke as friends?
Is the relationship too formal?
Can he freely tell you his fears and troubles?
Are you the busy type?
I bet there is something about you that repels him from connecting.
He might not want to tell you or maybe he is tired of talking (just like I am).

If you think I touched some valid points quote me so we can talk more.
I will love to be of help and see you guys mend things.

I wish someone can tell my girl these truths I have to tell you. Note I have tried telling her but the little I did she always feel I am speaking for my own advantage.

[quote author=Tinakalu post=74770791]Am single and ready to mingle [/quote

Hi

dotcomnamename:
Oko Rose Okoji
Eyakenyi Akon Etim
Stella Oduah
Uche Ekwunife

Yet the children of hates will say they marginalize them. Smh

What point are you bringing out here?

Koralords:
Am pro pdp but this junk news , so if you want to rig election Na market women you go use get sense Na

I guess you are not in Lagos or you don't relate with these market women and transport workers to know how much they are used for politics. You must comply with the market/garage leaders or get frustrated out.