₦airaland Forum

Hehehehe she sure played a fast one on you, and you are probably bitter. Maybe you were so bad a bf that you made her realise what an angel she had b4 you.

Just teasing man. It kinda sucks but I'm sure you are 'smart' enof to move on from it. You were probably just her rebound, and she was never really over the guy. Maybe angry with him but not over him.

spanishmosquito, what is it with u and ur boyfriend's money!

Assuming I want kids, then my options are simple:
A. Marry her and adopt
B. Marry her and have kids with someone else
C. Dump her like she's hot

Any of the above will work.

You are damn too insecure . Man up and let her do all the thinking she wants. In the meantime, keep enjoying life.

Why not? I have been cooking since I was 7. Still cook better than most women I know. I find it to be a woman catcher too.

The quality ones are right in front of you but you are too blind (or picky) to see them. Same goes for naija guys in US always complaining abt the quality of naija women. I can't blame anyone cos I experienced it in my little town in this part of the world too. You can't tell me that you don't know at least 25 single young men there in the US. None of them good enof for you or you want to tell me there is not a single quality guy among the 25? What you consider lack of quality is what another person considers great quality so I think it boils down to your personal preference in your search for the perfect man. Of course we can't leave chemistry out too, ryt?

Don't see why girls can't pay their own tfare if they really want to go see a guy. Otherwise if the guy must pay (all or part of) the tfare, he should let the girl pay first, and refund later when she shows up. Works perfect for me esp when the girl is ON or smth cos my cash might also be OFF or smth.

Nah! I enjoyed the good and painful experience while it lasted. Done for good. Moreover I always go for sm1 better everytime.


@190 and Omolola
You should open a thread that is meant for just the two of you (if chatting elsewhere doesn't work for u). In the thread, you can show all ur love and updates et al. That way you stop derailing other people's threads with ur lovnonsense.

We tend to make things more complicated than they really are. For one, you will appreciate how it feels for guys when they put themselves out there for you girls to turn down. That aside, this is the 21 century. Tell out point blank you like him. If he is not interested in you, he should say so. But no lies or deceits.

And for your info, don't give hints to most men. Tell them outright what you want cos we are not programmed to understand the women folk hints.

There is more to the story than you have mentioned here. Why don't you read the entire story and follow the other trials before you start persecuting anyone. If you have CNN or other news stations, its there too. Remember the witness has an axe to grind with Miss Campbell.

Innocent till proven guilty. And this trial isn't even the main thing.

@Poster
If you are freaking out about her sexual past, you are very immature considering she thinks she is bad, I think she is conservative. 100 times with 3 guys in 2 yrs. Common.

Since it is the numbers that is freaking you out, lets digest it just a lil. It is best you do not mentally imagine any sexual act while we are doing this.

Sex twice a week. 52 weeks a yr. Don't worry about with who and how many rounds per sex day. That alone gives u 2 x 52 x 2 yrs = 208 times of sex. See 100+ isn't so much. If you are not sexually active yet, you will discover that it isnt about the numbers and even that isnt lots.

Me thinks you are very lucky to find a girl like that. One that is very open and honest with you. And feels she has a lot to make up to you. That kind of girl will worship you and look up to you for the rest of her life. If you let her. Dummmy!

http://odili.net/news/source/2010/may/26/401.html

[ author=http://odili.net/news/source/2010/may/26/401.html]

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I am facing the most difficult moment of my life. My girlfriend of two years got pregnant for her secret lover. All these happened while I was away for my national youth service.


I discovered her duplicity when I recently came back home and was making love to her. While romancing her bosoms, I noticed I was taking in a substance with soured taste in my mouth. I pretended not to notice it at first, being not exactly sure what was coming out of her bosoms but when it kept coming, I stopped to investigate what precisely I was sucking only to discover that it was coming from her unmentionables.


When I asked her what kind of liquid was coming from her bosoms, she initially denied knowledge of it, but I pressured her to know what could have prompted the bosom milk. I kept mounting pressure on her to confirm what my suspicions were. From my experience I know a woman lactates when she is pregnant and during bosom-feeding.


When she kept maintaining her stance, I asked her to leave my house that night; so, she started shedding tears and later confessed that a guy she started dating when I was away got her pregnant. Up till now, I am still in a state of shock as I find the whole episode still so confusing and disturbing. Please I need your candid advice please.


Iyk.




Dear Iyk,


I understand the shock and sense of betrayal. It is normal, given the fact that as a woman she is expected to remain faithful to the relationship.


Sincerely, how you handle this situation would depend on what you feel for this lady and how sorry she is about the whole incident.


To help you understand where to start from, it is essential you X-ray thoroughly this relationship from where and how you both started. What was the arrangement between the two of you especially when you were leaving for the youth service? Was there a defined agreement between the two of you on where you were both taking the relationship to or was it an open ended thing?


While I am not condoning her unfaithfulness to you, sometimes when issues like this come up, it helps a great deal to put everything in the right perspective. Sometimes, we assume too much in our relationship, presuming the other person should know what we feel or think. Unfortunately, this attitude more often than not brings along with it some avoidable problems into our lives. This is why some people misbehave or betray their partners because they innocently got hold of the wrong end of the stick. Not everybody understands the language of signs; for the majority, it is always better that feelings are spelt out in words to avoid misconception or ambiguity.


If both of you had the understanding that your relationship was meant to be permanent and that while you were away, there should be constant flow of communication between the two of you, with you assuring her of your love for her and encouraging her to come over for a visit, then her behaviour is completely out of place and uncalled for.


But, if it was based more on assumption rather than concrete promises, believing she is always there and that you can come and go as you like, then you really can’t blame her for what happened because as a young woman nearing marriage age, there is always this morbid fear of being left too long on the shelf. The gamble to have someone solid in her life rather than the promises represented by you, may have forced her into the situation.


While not trying to make excuse for her, like I said earlier, it helps to give a robust outlook to issues in a relationship if more mistakes are to be avoided.


Now that you know she has been unfaithful to you, to the extent of getting pregnant and terminating it, do you still consider yourself as having feelings for her? In the first place, what kind of feelings do you have for her? Are you reacting because she slept with another man or that you feel really betrayed and hurt by the one person you love?


Be honest with yourself by properly defining what you feel for this lady. It is the only way you can untangle this knot before you. If you know you haven’t done the proper thing until this moment, telling her how important she is to you and how you would want both of you to start planning for the future, accept what happened as an emotional accident waiting to happen. Find it in your heart to forgive her and do what you should have done long ago, learning to put the right structure in place. Relationship building takes a lot of efforts, sacrifices, self-will and determination. It is more of an awareness of what works for you than what others think. If you are determined to make this relationship work despite her slip, it will work but if you lack a direction yourself, there is the tendency to be swayed by what others think.


Most times it takes just a little amount of interest to turn a dry land into a fertile one.


Just allow the grace of God to direct you on what is right. If she is sober and begs for forgiveness, it maybe just what she needs to be the best wife.


Good luck.

That's where you plagiarized the story from. No need to reply you as Agatha has already.

He liked you two yrs ago. I'm guessing you refused him, and he resigned himself to being just your friend (probably at ur request too). Why would he put himself out there again. If you like him, its your turn to put yourself out there.

When will we start respecting ourselves and other tribes? No tribe is better than the other. And in each tribe, there are individual differences. Stop stereotyping. One Nigeria is what we are.

Very common occurrence among those who leave their significant others to come study abroad. It happened to me and lots of my friends. From experience, those who usually survive it are the married ones, sometimes the engaged but never the bfs/gfs or those with little commitment. Men and women are equally susceptible to straying but Women hold on longer than Men before cheating.

It's just a matter of time b4 the dynamics of both relationships change. You will slowly lose interest in your old love and build something with your newfound love. After all, you will admit to yourself, circumstances have changed. Also, b4 in naija, you were sexually inexperienced. Now you have gone the entire distance.

Which relationship, you will focus on depends on where you decide to settle after you are done grad sch. If you go back home right away, you can rekindle the relationship with the old flame. Else you end up with the new one or anyone tht comes after her where you are located.

Cheating is wrong no matter the circumstances or excuse. But you are already doing it so I can only say this: Enjoy yourself and learn from the experience you are going to go thru. It is a once in a lifetime one. It will shape your views on a lot of things.
Goodluck

evil666:
imagin, by the way, u deniyor and the other daft ones, what is wrong with 120 yrs old tin
even the girls, u will get to that age one day and just need it.

see me see trouble o, food wey i eat and i don clean mouth since, una still go resurrect am!

Absolutely nothing wrong with your sexual preference for withering old women. Whatever rocks your boat. If You find granny pants sexy, that's your cup of tea. Better that than poking some guy's ass

Ebonyeyes:
Quote from: evil666 on September 26, 2009, 10:21 PM
have you ever slept with a woman of about 120 yrs. please advise me immediately because i am about to do that with this old woman in my neighbourhood. how does the kpekus feel.



Are you the same dude who wanted to bunk a 120yr woman? How did that play out?

I guess Evil_antichrist is only interested in 120+ worn out women. He doesnt do women who are still in their prime. Smart move pervert.

If you must lie or fabricate a story, at least try been innovative about it. Total BS

evil666:
its sad u are new here and u dont really know me, a little re-search will help you. I will advise u to watch yourself b4 u get to hate, , dont just bounce on ppl u dont know. A final warning ok?

Mugu, a final warning and you will what? Shut up and stop making empty threats.

Hehehe Evil666 is calling everyone else daft. LMAO.
You can't decipher a simple txt tht says I'm not a wood! This dude must be 13 and a half yrs old. Go and prepare for JSCE.

Tell him / her - "Yeah I'd do her / him too"

Evil666, Damn! you are shockingly too slow.

^^^^ Relax guys, cut her some slack. Can't blame them sometimes, our reputation preceedes us.

@poster
Have you met his friends or family. Or people he has ties with. Knowing him in his entirety will let you know how real he is. Fraudsters (and killers) don't include family or friends in their scams. But if you ask me, I will say he sounds real enough.

@travelista and poster
His citizenship is not important and should not be a critera to date someone. If he lies about his citizenship status, then there is trust issues and like you say what other lies? But she has no reason to believe he has been lying about it so far. What you are saying is, she should investigate something he claimed to have. Without any reason  to disbelieve he has it , other than he might be scamming her or after her citizenship. That is just plain wrong, and mistrusting. There has to be trust, the lack of trust is a relationship killer anyday. I am a very open person in my relationships and I do not believe in lying.  

^^^^ I really wish he would see this post.

So much hatred and ignorance in this thread

Forget about confirming his citizenship status. It is not important, and you have to learn to trust also. If he is lying to you, these things hv a way of coming to light. But don't compromise a good relationship with lack of trust.

My bad, I am very passionate and sensitive to stereotypical issues involving Nigerians. And there are stereotypes involving frauds and scams. Being a Nigerian in a western world, I feel it personally lots so my apologies if I went off on you.

Yeah, we all hv our insecurities in relationships, even after yrs. Get to know him, know his friends too. A serial killer will not involve you in his life, cos it will be traced back so easily.

The thing I can say for you is simple, any relationships is a risk. I am sure he is not your first relationship, so you already know that part. Then again, No risk, No gain.

PS I do not think akata is condescending. It refers to black american (esp women). And I see it been used admiringly. That's my personal opinion.

Girl, you are into a new relationship and you are already thinking the guy is a fraud! We Nigerian men have different tastes in women, and we are of all shades of characters like every nation and tribe of the world. You seem to have a good guy and all you are worried about is if he is a fraud! That is just plain insulting and mistrusting right there.

What if he was to come to this forum and ask everyone if you, as a black american woman, are a slut? Would you feel good about that?

He might just prefer black women to white women! Or maybe he doesn't care about skin color. But if you don't trust him, please leave him alone. Someone more deserving will get him.

He is an american citizen. He doesn't need your green card. He is a student with a bright future, and possibly a rich family. He sure doesn't need your money. And you still wonder what he wants from you?