₦airaland Forum

I don't see anything wrong with it. That is the perfect rebound relationship. You get to have your ex extremely jealous too. it is no shame or disgrace. Since you and your ex are no longer together, you can go for ANYONE you so desire, even her sister!

GO FOR IT!!!!!

So I take it that 'Once you hv never cheated, you will never cheat" going by your analogy.

I used to cheat but now I am a changed man. Never will I cheat again. Amen

It is a choice and a very hard one not to cheat given the array of temptation available. It takes strong self discipline whether you hv cheated b4 or not.

Don't change his left-handedness just to conform to society. It negatively affects the brain potential and pysche.

Of course the widow is the best but sounds like you hv issues with her status. The other two are definitely a no no.
However, go for the one you like best, including the yeye ones.

dgail:
Why is it paining you, because you dont have money!!!!!!!! well if that is what i need i will get it, go take care of your financial situation. no hard feeling.

It is not paining me my dear, and I am very comfortable where I am. I just can't stand gold diggers like you poster, and trust me, I hv had lots of those, and given them the boot.

dgail:
Hello doctor i have a chanllenge remembering what i read, what do you think i can do?

dgail:
Doctor thank you for taking time to respond to my question. but i still dont understand it still happend even when i read the kind of book i like, i will just enjoy the book but after a while i wont remember anythig again. ok let even talk about when im taking note i wont remember a line for 2 seconds. im really worried and i need way out.

I wonder why anyone would go for a dumb yeye girl like you poster. Your brain doesn't even work, and you are setting those lofty standards. It's obvious you can never make it rich by your brains alone so you are looking for mr perfect. See these days, Men go for smart ladies, who can complement their lives. You on the other hand hv nothing to offer. Hopefully you are pretty enough for men to sleep with or else you will hv to look for a way to employ a driver or cook or smth so that you can order them to lay you. Ashewo barawo!

^^^^ Actually it's 2 steps forward, one step back.

The fact that you have been dating someone for the past 8 yrs does not mean you have to marry her. As long as you are totally honest with her, there is no probs. If we start putting a cap on how long a relationship should last, u start forcing people to marry whether they aren't sure or are not ready. Either ways that will be a disaster. If you are not ready, then you are not ready. If you don't think she is the one, let her know. It is what it is.
I had a family member that dated 11 yrs b4 marriage. Others 6 months - Different strokes for different folks. Ignore all those who are screaming for your head cos you hv been dating someone for 8 yrs. They will not be the ones to bear the marriage joys & burdens with you when you do so. If they are that passionate, let them go concentrate on their own weddings.

She likes you but she likes her bf better. Dumb move on your part breaking up with your gf over another person tho, esp smth not definite. For now, concentrate on your relationships and ignore the lady for a while. And stop kissing another lady while you are dating someone else.

They deserve each other

Mugu, you had to wait for the third time till you started thinking (if you started thinking)

She is older than you and she knows you probably have a problem with it.

Nope, not for any reason. Been there done that already.

Ebonyeyes:
Your a selfish piece of sh1t. 8years really?

Very disappointing comment. He is a piece of shit cos he is not ready for marriage? Typical nl female comment.

@ poster
Why are you not ready and is she included in your future plans. Whatever it is, be honest with her

Will you or can you?

Try to write in little paragraphs that are easier to follow.

Dude, I don't even know what to tell you. When a woman tells you no, take it as a no and move on to the next woman. You killing yourself over this girl over the yrs just point to the fact you are either shy or not so good with women. Since you hv decided to talk to her again, you should lay it on the table (as you did earlier) but make it a 'take it or not' offer. I don't subscribe to all that hard to get BS people do. You either want it or you don't.

When it comes to women and dating, till the moment you commit yourself to any type of relationship, always give yourself options. There are lots of better and more suitable women around you. Date them, experiment etc and you might discover you don't even want this very lady anymore.

If the lady wants you, she wouldn't need convincing. You will be better off being with a lady that really wants to be with you than be with one that is convinced to be with you cos she is single at the moment or smth. Enjoy your life. There are many fishes in the river.

Geez - this is how it is done. Example A man sleeps with a lady that is STD infected. Once the doctor and authorities know she is infected, they ask her for a list of people she has slept with within a possible period of infection. The health authorities send out a letter to all the dudes (and gals) telling them that someone they had sex with is infected with that STD and it is recommended they come in for testing. No names mentioned, all anonymous. If you are the type that is promiscous, you hv no idea who it really is. If you are a single sex partner kinda person, you know who it is. Case dismissed. Once you know you are infected with STDs and you knowingly infect others, it is a crime. It is part of your ethics and it doesnt violate your patient doctor confidentiality.

[s]Either stop claiming to be a doctor, or do your ethically bound duty. Whichever one you choose, stop being incompetent.[/s]

monkeyleg:
@deniyor, I wouldnt recommend or encourage that. I think this lady came on here for some good advice, and the least we can do is offer her some, no matter how truthful it might sound

Of course, no one would. I am merely looking for options for the poster. Moreover, I just hv a thing against people who put their career ahead of family. Don't start the family in the first place.

keeptrying:
@poster
some of the people giving you advise here do not really know what it takes to live comfortably overseas. can one income pay all the bills? probably not. you have to sit down with your husband and discuss this issue. he MUST participate in the house choir especially during the week when you are at work since he normally comes back earlier. At weekend you can prepare a meal that will be sufficient for the rest of the week.Do all your laundry at weekends and arrange your children cloth by then.  

Relax, some people here know what it takes to leave abroad and pay bills et al. So don't give us that condescending statement. The fact is the poster has put her career ahead of her family, even if she does not admit it. Whether she lives in the western world, or lives in naija, it does not change the fact. People have given her lots of advice already. It's only a matter of time before she loses her husband if she doesn't start putting her family first. The wheel is in motion, it started with the husband hinting and complaining.

Poster's husband should get a second wife that only works part time.

Mr Cork, hv you found a wife with big yansh that can cook and clean yet?

madoba:
@ poster

I have read through alot of the comments here, and I can tell you that I feel like stabbing some posters like nikkylav & others who are advocating for your silence on the matter.
Do you know how hard it is to change, change doesn't come easy and it doesn't happen in a year or two. It is a continuous and life long process. I have been trying to change simple things about myself like my impatience and intolerance with people who are slow (amongst other things) and I can tell you that its been and still is one hell of a battle. It really does take the grace of God and if you know God then you will know that he is never in a hurry to get things done he always takes his time to do a good/excellent job.

My point is: Your friend's fiance hasn't changed in any way if she can claim to be a virgin after all this time. I don't expect her to spill all of the sordid details about her life or her past because as humans we are entitled to some secrecy in our lives. It would have been nice for her to say i have dated or been with a few men then to claim she is a virgin. For that alone even I can kill her.

I believe in second chances because people always do better, the second time around in most things. But in this case the lady in question does not deserve a second chance if she can lie about her virginity. PLS TELL YOUR FRIEND THE TRUTH

That is the thing with Nigerians - They just can't stand people who hv different opinions. Then they wonder why we always hv tribal and religious wars and fights. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Poster asked for opinions. Give yours and vamooze. Live and let live

Why do people like to put their mouth in things that don't concern them. You are a doctor, do your ethically bound duty. After that, MIND YA BUSINESS!

Some people just hv 'messiah' complex.

Doesn't sound like a bad thing. The wife might hv been trying to surprise the husband when it is completed. If they live in their own house, then the new house is a good source of rental income.

got it. You can take it off now

If you hv a blackberry pin too, you can write it here briefly.

I'm online now

are you online now?
How abt 8pm naija time today?

Still a tricky issue. On one end, your friend deserves to know the truth about his gf's past but the truth should hv come from her and not from his friend. She might be a changed person and the type to remain faithful. Maybe she is scared of the implication of having a tainted past that she is ashamed to admit the truth. It does not mean she has to be crucified for her past. Her major mistake is she should hv opened up about her past from the beginning or say nothing instead of lying. Just a simple "I hv had a very rough past in relationships I am ashamed to talk about". If the guy wants to know more, then that's his cup of tea.

The poster on the other hand is right in trying to protect his friend. But has he considered the fact his friend might be happy and really in love with this girl. Maybe her past wouldn't even matter or he would prefer not to know such dirty details. By showing him the videos, you torment him for life if he decides to stick with the girl. No one deserves to see a video of a girl he loves being done by other guys. Not even good to see a girl he is dating on a video like that.

Poster, what kind of a person keeps a xrated video of another school mate for four yrs. That's kinda perveted too. Who is the poster to judge that the girl is not good enough for the friend when the friend has chosen the girl as the one he wants. The heart works in mysterious ways. I can decide to fall in love with an ashewo. My friends better keep their mouths shut if they know anything. But I deserve to know what I am going into b4 I even start.

In this case, tho your friend wants to know the truth abt his girl cos he doesn't really know her past, so I can grudgingly say let him know.Poster tell your friend she has a shady 'not so good' past when it comes to relationships. But you would rather she tell him herself. If she lies to him, then you can tell him. Only show him proof when he asks for it.

;d

It is none of your business. He is your friend and that is the lady he has chosen.
If your conscience can't take being quiet, tell the girl that either she tells him or you do. She knows she has a better chance telling him herself.

.