₦airaland Forum

^amin

Has she met her mother?

or was she not the one whose custody was being debated?

yellowpawpaw: Common,don't read too much meaning into this.u heard from d op,did u hear from d wife?that d cous kept mute indicates something.
If he is allergic to fish,what about d fish water used to prepare d food? I know that in most homes b4 u fry ur fish or meat,u will first of all boil,then use d water to cook.
@op should pack well jor and let d woman be!
I hv a cous I lvd so much. Like 5 yrs older than me.she got married and I used to visit from school uninvited,door is always open for me.at a point I hv to give them space.its just not right.they travelled outside d continent and was ready to prepare my visa after my service year but I told them no. From my mum to everybody tot I was possesed but I don't want to hear.overfamiliarity is so bad and I don't want such.I visits her now on holidays once in a while and c respect and levels.and I only agreed after I got married.
Pple should learn how to withdraw without bein told.even if he sleeps with them.respect urself pls.asking for meat and fish.
Op,r u idle or looking for work?
At least let us know what is ur problem.

My using that tone is very deliberate.


Seriously, I understand the need for couples to have their own space.

and so do I understand the need for married people to keep their old friendship and family ties.


Her attitude isnt good at all. She could have communicated whatever she found wrong rather than being that much rude to him.

Even though this is the Op's side of it, he seems balanced and I can only give my opinion based on it.

Thanks for the replies. Here is mine..


I most of the time eat rice for sahur. spaghetti and the likes can take its place. But I cut down on the vegges(cos they are roughages and aid digestion )

I dont like swallows because they are actually more made of water than the carbohydrate part. They aint filling enough plus I have to eat them with vegges that help food break down

When I lose appetite, sometimes in the middle of the month/ when I wake up late, I eat garri in cold water

Then plenty of water joins.



For Fatur,

Anything goes actually. At home,it is tradition for people to take pap first. I dont like it much.

Fruits and plenty water at this time as well. I believe taking much water throughout the time that I am awake helps the next day.

@Op, as has been said, you need to stop eating her food. God forbids that she poisons it.


But dont let her break your family ties. It is very important.


*Visit with your food packed along.

*Make him aware you would be coming before going there.

*Dont stay for too long.



Dont go too frequently.

Is that woman for real??

So because he is married to her now, his family members must stay away?

If she wouldnt deal with them, why marry into their family?

oh God!! She is truly a winch.

was she going to starve him by serving him fish? what if he has allergies to it, it didnt matter if he died ehn?


Some women sha. B4 you know it o, she'll start to cry that her in-laws hate her.

Let me start by asking-

Do you find sahur(saari) easy to eat? What do you like to eat and why?

What do you eat for Sahur and what do you break with?

What are the health choices you make in Ramadan?

Is cooking or eating Sahur or fatur easy for you and how have you faced the challenges or what have you been doing about it...


These and more...On This Thread.

This is about making the most of Ramadan with focus on the food we eat.

There's a lot of blessings in the holy month and we can get so much from eating right.


Qur'an/Hadith quotations +medical research etc on eating are welcome.
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This isnt to be a very serious affair[/size]

gmumeen: ,inshaAllah,i am,is dat my real name?nd aw dos fmale name sound?

I only needed to clarify that you are.

no qualms.

1.physical attraction/chemistry
2.Education
3.God fearing
4.Money/hard working- hardwork without money is nothing.
6.Gentleman - actually don't fancy gentlemen. I prefer emotion driven ones. i.e sensitive only when need be.

vedaxcool: the funny thing is even in the I'll, they themselves authored a report on the rising spate of attacks on Muslims, the independent is clearly uk, showing that they recognize the problem, nothing remains more disappointing.than seeing Nigerians here on nl rationalize negative behavior, we truly need to see the world from the president perspective of good and bad, as what is bad clearly stands out from good.

You are so right about that.

Xavier1976: ...... jeeeeeeeeez !!! I was so scared to watch the video, cos i know the foolish things these people can attempt !!! Experience is the best teacher, shey na hin grandpapa discovered electricity abi? Half education is very deadly better to be a stark illiterate !!!

he is a typical olodo at work..lol

I cant stop laughing!!

What was he thinking..

argh!!! see his costume.

@Op, I see Muslim young ones taking such stars as role models.

It gives them hope of achieving a lot, with talent hard work.

maclatunji: Very articulate.

thank you

Paschal360: And they're accusing UK of Islamophobia. See how they're bending their culture to accomodate muslims and their sensitivities.

I know the capitalists are smart enough to allow whatever promotes their businesses. It is a matter of profit or loss.


Islamophobia can't have a place where anything Islamic brings profit.

You may as well start seeing the world beyond Muslim/christian.

sino: Deols, it's not about discrimination, but understanding the differences between a male and the female child and giving the appropriate attention to them. I think we the muslim males should be complaining sef, there is no promise of paradise raising the male child na, mothers are meant to be honored three times more than the father, paradise lies at her feet.

No doubt, they both need adequate education and the need to know the right from the wrong, but the females need more attention and care, did you not read my quote about training a nation by training the female child? have you heard about girls with daddy issues? Why is our society going south morally? We all know that mothers play a big role in the family.

My reasons, are quite beyond what you stated, but true, it happens a lot. Boys or girls can equally bring shame to the family.

I didn't say females cannot be hafidh, what i said was that most females do not go beyond learning how to read the Qur'an, we can do a little survey, in your street, how many muslim females are graduate of a madrasah idadiyyah?

I agree with your last point, although i don't see her as being limited, rather i see her as being neglected and not adequately catered for, hence the need to dedicate more resources in training the female child which makes it a challenge quite different from the male child.

From this, I know that you got what I am driving at.

and still, I disagree with your method. Maybe I should already let go but pardon me pls.


Education wise(madrassah inclusive), I dont see how a girl doesnt have what a guy has. In fact, I believe that they have equal opportunities. Now, we may be talking of different environments. so, that'll pass.


As to giving the girl more attention, with it, we'll end up having a future of responsible girls with no equally responsible men to match.

It is already happening.

I heard yesterday of a family who wouldn't allow their son marry a particular girl because she's been coming to sleep with him in their house. All the while that she's been coming, they didnt complain. Marriage comes into the discussion and they realise that their irresponsible son deserves a responsible girl. It is now generally acceptable that a girl is the one who must be chaste, must be respectable, must learn to cook, etc while the boy looks on or plays on or becomes an NFA member.


My point remains that, whatever training, attention, madrassah fees, etc that a girl is getting, a boy should also be getting. It should be seen as a normal thing to get among the children and not what a girl gets and a boy doesnt deserve.

in sha Allah

Raising a girl child could be a daunting challenge especially if you are looking at it from a guy's perspective.

By the time a girl is 12-13, she is already been chased by older boys and grown men. Particularly if she is pretty. A boy at this age is still a kid, for him maturity comes a bit later.

I understand why parents focus on their girl child sometimes unfairly but it is motivated by love.

Like I have been saying, it doesnt matter whether 12 or 15. Eventually, they'll reach that stage of puberty.A 12 yr old boy who sees all the latest movies might be much more grown than he appears.


If he is d one doing the chase, does it make a difference? Have you heard of primary school pupils dating and even having sexual intercourse?


so what you expose them to, the environment they grow in, how much self esteem they have, what you teach them of ambition, future goals, and the pleasure of Allah are what matter.


Life doesnt have to be especially hard for the female child and I am speaking this way because I know that most of the girls who later became wayward felt victimised and saw the need to escape.

with the way our society is going, women being objectified, a play thing. I think i have good reasons to be scared.

It is a matter of teaching them what is right or wrong. In some societies, both men and women can become objects.

Children need to be brought up to know what is right and wrong.

It is not a worse situation that it is the girl being used and not the boy.

sino: My fear is borne out of my experiences i had and some that i am still having. I'll be equally saddened if my male child exhibit any of the above character(a'udhubillah), and like i posted earlier, females are a target, which makes their case special and demands special attention.

There is a standard i look forward to, a muslimah in every sense, and for me to train her to that level, looks daunting.

I don't think we really focus on the females negletting the males, it's on the contrary, a female would only go to madrasah and learn how to read the Qur'an and thats all! Only few go further, the reasons are complex, some of them are disheartening...

I wish all men can be like the Prophet(SAW), and some of my fears would fade away, but the reality is horrible, some men are wolves in sheep clothing and there is little i can do about it...


I understand your point, i wish i can easily see it that way, i know there are challenges in training a male child, but the ones i see for the females is quite greater, and i can only pray to Allah to make the task easier for us ameen.

Even though I have an understanding of what you are driving at, I still don't see the 'daunting' part.

Let each of the childr3n know what is right and what is wrong.

Let them all have good education.

Dont discriminate while bringing them up.

I stated all I did, not because I thought it was what you meant(and is d reason I asked in a question format in case it was what you meant) but because I see it happening a lot.


You mentioned that a girl cannot be hafidh, for where?

I think believing that a female child is limited and will have limited opportunities is a big problem. If they don't already have the opportunities, they can be created.

tpia, stop reading untrue meanings. I wasn't angry. Why would I be?

hmmmmn. Interesting.

Jarus: 50k received from Largerwhenindoubt

1, Nairamar - 5,000
2, Toluth - 2,000
3, Tbaba - 5,000
4, PENMIGHT- 10,000
5, UZZIE - 20,000
6, Anonymous - 3,000
7, Deols - 15,000
8, Largerwhenindoubt - 50,000

Balance - 110,000


Brothers, sisters and friends, we are almost getting there. We are going to 165k.

wow!!

That is amazing ma sha Allah.

Givers never lack, they say.

May Allah bless everyone who's contributed and those yet to.

Alhamdulillah.

You made an absolute statement with a DO NOT.

My problem is with the do not.The donts in Islam are haram and should not be done or may even be a sin if done.

You can suggest or make it known that you think..

But telling people to not do something must go beyond saying, because a prayer in the qur'an doesnt include asking for a gender.


I must have read of or learnt of a hadith of a prophet warning against making what Allah hasnt made haram, haram.

and again, everything is allowed until there is a RULING making it haram. You havent provided a ruling.

Let me give an example to buttress my point.

Allah asks us to pray Tahajjud in the QURAN. and that doesn't even make tahajjud a command.He asks women to breastfeed until 2years and not breastfeeding until then, is not haram.

He asks that you pray for children who are... doesnt mean you CANNOT or should not pray for children of a specific gender. He is Allah and you can ask him For ANYTHING.

tbaba1234: It is in line with the etiquette of making dua just like the dua of Mary's mum in the Quran.

You can pray for any sex if you want, I am just promoting best practises.

And Allah knows best.

Pls. dont make it a deols issue with the, 'you can pray for any sex if you want'

Many of us engage in discussions here to learn. If I wanted to just do what I want, I wont bother talking.

In Islam, you dont say something and expect people to just accept it especially when you are not giving a textual proof for it.


Acting sheepishly would be too dumb of anyone.

rezzy: Good for her. I promise you, nobody will miss u

she doesnt care, I promise you

good for her.


Hopefully she ll see better reasons than because of Alhaji to be a good Muslim.

This sounds silly to me.

After more than 9yrs, they commission Ibadan-Oyo?? Is that even up to one-third of the whole project?


The ojoo, Ibadan part is beautiful btw

tbaba1234: Whenever there is a prayer for a child in the Quran , it is never specific. It is better to pray for a righteous child than to pray for the sex of a child. We are taught how to make duas in the Quran.

The other problem with this, is that once praying for a particular sex, we are not asking for what is the best for us and we lose sight of the blessing the other child. A man who raises 3 girls right, is going to jannah even if he had no boy.

Best thing, pray for the gift of both but do not despair if you are given just one sex.

here is what you wrote boldly up there-. DO NOT ASK FOR BOY OR GIRL.

I disagree with it still. Asking for a particular gender doesnt in any way prevent one from asking for other things.

I will agree with you only if you provide a text stipulating that you cannot ask specifically for a male or female child.