₦airaland Forum

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Hastobetrue:
I am tired of trying, I just want to get it right.
In search for something TRUE


A man from 35 upwards
A WORKING British (I mean should have his papers and have job, RESPONSIBILITY is topmost)
I want a lover of God but not a FANATIC
It doesn't matter if you are a single dad, divorced or widowed (just be a wonderful man, husband, father and companion)


I am a very lovely lady
A single mum
No I don't live in England
Nigerian
In my 30s
I won't ask for what I dont/can't give

If you are tired of not getting it right too and ready to settle down soon, kindly shoot me an email hastobetrue21@gmail.com

**Please if you are arrogant and full of pride don't email me
I could be nasty **

Do you have papers to live in the UK or do you mean someone who has a British passport and has legal papers to work in Nigeria?

proclinician:
Just know a hypothesis can be anything. Pray life doesn't teach you. When a man refuses to learn from the experience of others, life may be kind enough to give him his own experience to learn from. If he calls it a bluff he is doomed.

Oga, do you know my experience? Do you know my age or how old I got married and how old my wife was? Do you know many marry young and at that they had challenges? All you have just written is a biased way of life and lacks objectivity.

proclinician:
Hey relax. I am not a student well at least i no be academic student. What i said is a hypothesis like saying the earth is flat. A lot of ppl have read this and pass because it corroborates their life experience okay and some have taken it personal because they think they can talk to anyone anyhow they like. this is the summary of what my uncle experienced getting married so pls next time u come here and associate me with the word stupid i will be very angry.

Which hypothesis? The one your ignorant mind coined right? Anyways, I am not sure it is worth wasting our time trying to talk about what isn't necessary since we all have choices to our beliefs.

proclinician:
20 to 25..... Whoring stage, very stubborn and sexploiting

27 -30 and above.. ... Calm and calculated. Time is running out. All men matters.

To think you are a medical student and write in such a stupid manner is dumbfounding. I guess you need to relax and learn more as your type is now common in practice. An example is the idiot telling a woman to leave her husband because he has low sperm count in this day and time when there are lifestyle modifications and drugs to help boost semen production.

FarFromAverage:
She's 33 and you like her character?
Brother run... You're joking with a green snake in a green grass. Though I'm not against you, but the thing is what stopped her from getting married when she was in her twenties?

Stop reasoning like an adolescent. Many married ladies who are older than 33 and are experiencing peace in their homes.

lonikit:
i will be very brief with the narrative. i met the girl 2years ago when she was already 31. we started as friends but her character made me to fall in love and also had to leave my former young rude more educated and virgin gf (i love peace of mind).
without missing words, my new gf is the best compared to any other girl i have met. though, she is older than I by 2yrs but that is not my problem.
my problem now is that both of us are not really doing anything serious. she is managing in a private school. i have not gotten any job since i completed my service yr last year hence, managing in a school too.
considering our financial status, we are not ready for marriage now. we are hoping for better jobs.
please, i don't want to loose her and she is now 33. she is considering her chances of giving birth if she marries late like 35yrs bcus a doctor friend told her that women fertility has to do with their age, the older they bcom, the less they are fertile. please advice me on how to convince her. she is so unique.
please help a brother.

Your belief is very strong and what you should tell yourself is that irrespective of the age you guys get married, your marriage will be blessed with children since that is a major thing for you in marriage. That said, being less fertile is now common to both sexes as it has to do with hormones and more so, you guys could choose to get married and plan on a child for now till you are more financially stable. The good side is that gestation period is 42weeks which is almost a year and adding that to the time to plan the wedding and all sorts, that is about a year. Your stories might have improved before then.

Being who she is and open to communication as she has always been.

lewis512:
I registered to a academy spent a while there but the udemy video tutorial helped me most and much practice

Thank you. Which of the udemy videos did you use?

lewis512:
when you back would you let me know or just add me , my username is on my Nairaland profile

What did you use to learn Python?

Lamanii22:
I uninstalled the app, but I'd be back on there real soon...

You planning on enrolling in a doctorate? This is nice to know. What is your field? Seems we have similar passion.

kingxsamz:
I didn't read till the end.
Seemed to me like this was more like a gay erotica, rather than someone seeking help.
At first I thought it was a female narrating her story untill I had to check and realized it was a dude. Had to stop.

I am not asking for help from anyone. I am lucky I have overcome something I wanted to and only shared for those who might feel trapped and would want to move past their trap.

Mandelus:
You are scared why not tell him....
Secondly how often do you dress sexy during bed times... Seduce your man with different sexy dresses during bed time don't bore the moment with heat and laczy dress make him desire you.. tell him you love him before you sleep and when his going to work, text him around 12noon.
Do this and have him by 3pm home early to have fun with you .

Which one be seduce with sexy dresses when she fit dey use birthsuit do the same thing?

eseh1:
I think most times we become who we are as a result of experience in our nominal age. Some were lucky cos they were never exposed to the risk while some weren't.. just like we didn't choose our family background either rich or poor but can work towards been rich. I went to a single sex school, I never had same sex encounter but I had friends who did cos they were pretty funky kids exposed to it at a tender age, some even got suspended...but I never judged them cos I felt d lucky ones where just not exposed... Alot are married now, I wudnt even call them bi-sexuals cos those happened in d past.
My advice is for parents to always educate their children from a tender age, imbibe discipline in them ...fill their memory with good stuff...These things always ring in their head when you are not there..... I still believe in this saying " Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it "...
@Op you are wonderful and thank you for sharing with us...know that there are pple out there who will never judge your past...All the best in this new phase and may God bless your marriage..

Thank you so much both for your words of encouragement and the prayers. Sincerely, marriage has been fun so far and I am happy I am meeting all my expectations by the grace of God. It took me a while to find someone who was willing to understand me and stay by me and like my friends and relatives know, she is my top priority after God.

funmisticqueen2:
she's smart.

Don't make your past, your present. Hope you continue to have the will to go on.

Thank you so much, God has been helping me and my way of staying away is keeping friends with my three older friends who also are no longer involved in it. We encourage ourselves whenever there is need to.

Yxxx:
The earlier we talk about issues like this, the better.
I escaped been one and I must say it's God's intervention.
My advice to you is to keep trying to remain straight.
Decide that you won't go back to the past.
Pray about it.

Mind sharing how you overcame?

funmisticqueen2:
Does your wife know?

No she doesn't fully despite explaining some of my past to her. She feels it was an outcome of me being a boarder and I feel I shouldn't saddle her with information she isn't so interested in.

To all those acting out there, one of the things I learnt particularly about us Nigerians is that there are very many on the DL. Many have multiple girlfriends to cover up, go to gym to get muscular to cover their traits and to attract more guys, and many other things they do. It is all pretense. The earlier we all learn to live our lives and make support groups grow instead of trying to demoralize people trying to find their path, the better for us all.

choblak:
I de tell u
I think sey na only me know there type
I don witness plenty of such guy
How I wish I will get ur number for what'sapp we for talk

I would have loved to but I am not sure I can at least for the now.

Ishilove:
Okay...

I still feel dirty though

I can't help on how you feel but ...

creolehunt:
Part of me feels you're same person as the OP or you're also gay. That's the only way I can explain you taking over the discourse.
If I'm wrong, please accept my apologies.

Any need to apologize to him? You concluded already as led by your feelings so...

tunize:
Speechless. The o.p had options but he choosed his part of being gay because he nvr mentioned thatvhe was forced.can't judge u but pray God to see you tru. he should first go and talk to his pastor and set up a meet up with the wife and pastor so he could as well tell his wife.( u go need ur wife too to fight ur way out).

When my dealings were with guys, you could term me gay however, I have moved past that as such, my orientation could have changed. There are a few articles online although the outcomes are ambivalent, it is difficult to put people in a typical basket sexually.

Specyano:
Thought I was reading a girl story not till the end.

So many shit happens in boys only/girls only schools...damn!!!

Well so far you decided to share this, it shows you're ready to face the challenges and let go of it, so help u God.

It was a mixed school but in the hostels, it was single sex based on your house.

Young03:
I cover my brain and eyes with the blood if Jesus

From your story, You still hoping that your neighbours son bleeps u again

God help your wife
And person like you will like anal sex

If you read it with an open mind, you would have noticed that happened long before I got married. Anyways, there is nothing to prove.

ifeanyiatuadu:
I totally understand you
But u shouldn't have posted this on nairaland. There are lots of immature homophobes on here

They can keep dwelling in their fantasies but what can I do about that? Many are not homophobes in the real sense they are just trying to tag along as being macho men. They should look deep into their family and if they have any sense of gaydar like they act, they would see it but you know what, we all are a bunch of hypocrites.

Cchuks27:
While I don't accept it, I personally don't judge people who are gay. What I am more concerned about is your wife and kids who are living in limbo, totally unaware of this potent danger that can totally consume the family and put them to shame later on in the future.

Man, you must come out of the closet and live your truth.

What closet are we referring to here? That sometimes, I think about the past/talk about it with some other married men whom we have formed a support group is a crime, right? For your information, my wife is okay with me being me and we are enjoying each other's company. I could have been wired differently and I choose a new path for myself, what crime have I committed?

ValCon888:
Op. You went to a federal government college. Either Odogbolu or Ijanikin. Yes or No?

I would like to decline this question just to help safeguard the name of my school as it got nothing to do with the school and neither was/is it the culture of the school.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
Can your ass still hold some faeces cos your rectum must have been damaged by now. You decided to be gay in secondary school which was absolutely your choice. I went to a boy's only school and I really dealt with dose gay seniors really hard.

If that is how you see it, I do not have the ability to change your thoughts. For your question, it holds it perfectly well. What next?

Lamanii22:
Oh my God... You went through a lot in life oo... For a sec I thought you were a girl... I'm amazed at how you find the opposite sex attractive after all of these... Mehn.. You're amazing...

I have always found them attractive but my early experience made me feel I am incompetent to have anything to do with a woman. My childhood trait of being effeminate doesn't necessarily translate to anything in terms of sexuality. Guess my neighbor's son took advantage of me coupled with some little bullying in elementary school that made me feel I should be a sissy and it was/is okay. It took a long while to walk out but nonetheless, because I am kind of tuned into it psychologically, I keep friends with my older friends who helped me rediscover myself because they went through a similar past and one of the things I have learnt is that discussing it most times, helps one not to crave for it.

Ishilove:
Why did you have to be so graphic? I can sense from the gleeful tone in your narration that if a man with a yam sized mandingo comes your way, you will remove your trousers and submit your anus with embarrassing alacrity. Shior.

Are you promoting homosexuality?? Scratch that, you're bisexual.

I feel really unclean after reading this filth.

Tueh!!

I am not out to contest what you feel about my post and if you read it well like you claim, you would get the picture. The essence of the write up is that we should be truthful to who we are as that could help us identify where to get help if need be.

IceColdVeins:
omo......I hope you were not that senior back in high school that always made me rub his back every night and almost forced his dick right into my mouth one night before I learnt that I gotta flee. Cos honestly, envisaging your high school setting from your write up, its no different from mine. Just incase you or your high school lover were that 'senior Richards', I'd be honored to tell you right now that my beautiful Bull Mastif and p90 machine would like to meet you.

I am neither and if you have moved on, let the past remain where it is. You don't need to come display some online toxic masculinity if there is nothing you are trying to prove.

EmekusTHEgreat:
@Dexlomo, it's not in the place of any man to infere judgement on you, God (even with your past) would still gladly accept you if you were to seek him.

I hope that you have a wonderful married life but there's something I noticed from your writing, I feel that you are nostalgic of your old life, I can make out lustfulness in your tone of writing, let old things pass away..

I don't know what you mean by lustfulness though. One thing I can say is that I cannot completely tell I am done with my old life since I still maintain friendship with my older friends however, with respect to sex, I am out. We still get to talk about it sometimes as a way to encourage one another and also, not to fall into that moment that the brain would demand sex. It is more of a preventive measure.