₦airaland Forum

seanwilliam:
This life sha, as young guy like me wey no get stable source of income now, how e one take be?? And most naija girls are broke . I dont even have problem with dem being broke, the problem is their entitlement mentality....
Well as I dey so, I no fit kill myself atall, I go enjoy myself well well for this bachelor, and I go marry when I'm comfortable.. I no fit kon start my life with suffer suffer.. if I get this degree finish, na to travel go Scandinavian countries go do masters and find one shima, give am beta belle make she give me beta pikin..
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To people that are ready for marriage, no matter how, you still have to be comfortable small before you go consider settling down.. e better not to marry atall than to marry and begin to suffer yourself, yourwife and your innocent children..
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Afterall jesus no marry now.
If pressure too much on u, then become a baby daddy.. atleast you don get seed for ground..
Also if you are not really ready for marriage, there is no point in dating naija girls cos most of dem will just suck u financially, emotionally, materially and other ally
I no sure say this country get hope again..


.

P.s. to anyone reading this my ranting abeg make una begin husle earlier ooo.. if you hit better money once, use am build house first.. after that one find beta investment and continue with your husle..

Do anything wey fit give you money , it might sound crazy, but no one is going to ask u how u take make money except SARS and Efcc.. ..
Afterall, orijin is a wonderful brand..
Aro1
Nextd18

You spoil everything when you say make we build house first except na shanty you want make we build. Person wey get better money need sabi invest am for short/medium term investment while the person dey hustle extra money.

I no buy make people rush marriage but I don see people wey be say their salary put together sef ma no enter N50k and dem born pikin. Las las, the children dey become family responsibility and dat one sef na another wahala. I go one friend wedding na so the parents say make the eldest sister come siddon with dem because na she train am. I be like wait, no be her mama be dat, dem say d mama no spend on top am say na person wey spend suppose siddon. I just tire. I no ready make another person raise my pikin and for my case, no be money hold me but other things and na when I realize say I get power to overcome am naim I think of marriage. We still get our challenges but God dey help us surmount dem.

Las las, for dis kind time, I no go tell you say make you go Jand for graduate studies but instead of Scandinavian, you fir consider Australia, New Zealand, Canada, or America because of ability to stay back after studies.

U1:
You see that's what I was saying about taste. It doesn't have to be both of those two examples.

If you'd be spending 20k on fare in a month, you shouldn't be paying so much on rent. That much on transport makes more sense for someone living on the outskirts, where accommodation is typically cheaper. It's either this or that.

Those husband and wife most certainly would have lived in a "face me and face you" kind of place.

A life of struggle? What are most Nigerians used to? The struggle still doesn't stop them from making children, even too many in some cases.

Hmmm...….yet we want to end the poverty in the land, the child molestation we read about, the increasing number of miscreants etc. How do we intend achieving this if we encourage this lifestyle?

Impostor:
I no fit laff abeg, why travel out now to start hustling abroad? You can make it here. What is wrong with impregnating her? Ona go ruff am together. There's more to life than money. Family love surpasses most material things

Oga, what justification have you I repeat for the umpteenth time? You have not walked that path and can only insinuate since you even earn decently well enough. Try to put that into consideration so that you wouldn't be seen as someone who talks for the fun of it.

Jamesrock:
God bless u OP!!!

I really enjoyed this ur topic. I’m 26; No job and just concluded service last year! All things being equal, I hope to get married before 30 but the issue is I find it hard to see one to love me truly!!! All these babes aren’t down for broke guys!!!

I think love comes with understanding who you are and what you represent. In the mean time, why not seek genuine friendship and then take it further as time goes on?

Elimon:
For me I think I need to get a job before marriage...but at the same time I need to have a kid before 26...I like it that way...after all,to be a baby papa is not a sin this days
Pablo Escobar

One of the reasons wey girls dey carry another man pikin give una. No be by gbas gbos ooo, just take things turn by turn.

daddytime:
You can't blame them dear.

Wetin person no know him no know.

Experience teaches best.

Marriage comes with its blessings is what has landed many into troubles and some children turning into miscreants. That some got married on nothing and things eventually fell in place for them doesn't necessary suggest a cause and action.

Impostor:
I pray you don't wait for too long. Thousands of people graduate every year in this country, NO JOBS for them, no loan to start business. I STRONGLY ADVISE ALL YOUNGER GUYS TO DO THE NEEDFUL NOW. This country will delay you, if you wait.

You no do for your time, don get better work two years you still never do, you come here dey open mouth like tap say make dem start now. Wetin dey delay you after two years wey you don get better job?

Impostor:
That's what we are talking about, at 38, If I had gotten married at 28, my child will be 10 now. I commend your boldness to have started a family. If you wait till you are comfortable, before you realize that this country is sick, time would have passed.

Uncle, no be by kpa, kpa, gbas, gbos person dey born ooo. Dey live your life dey thank God say you never kpai. Now wey you ready naim be your time as dem talk say no time wey person sew cloth wey e no fit use am do im fashion.

Keldom:
At this time, my faith fails me. I've almost lost hope. Sometimes I will just be sleeping and crying, some nights I will be awake wishing to hear a voice give me directions on how to better my life.

Try to survive first ooo. If you drop dead, all these people you are trying to support will surely move on. In my language, my people will say "Eni ku ni tie gbe" i.e. na who die hin own finish.

Keldom:
Good day everyone, I'm an old Nairalander but created this account to pour out the tears flowing from my heart over these years. As I type this, my heart is heavy, very heavy. Life is totally unfair and has somehow become too gloomy recently.
Before I entered school, I had planned to be a lecturer or someone who impacts knowledge for the greater good of the society. So I chose an education course and vowed to make first class in order to make it easier to get to my dreams.

At the University, I struggled through school because I partly trained myself and because of this I could only make 2:1 (CGPA 4.2). Since then I've been unable to secure a job, but I do some hustles and have taught in private schools around. But it's nothing because this schools pay as less as 20,000.
As the first of 8 children, what I make rarely get into my pocket. I will have to send to my poor parents in the village and cater for my younger ones. I've continued to push life believing things will get better someday. I apply for jobs, sometimes I get invites, sometimes I don't. Some jobs that I know I merit because of my performance in the interview, you will be surprised I won't be called. Some are clearly bought with money even in my presence.

I'm tired of everything. I thought hardwork in school would have paved way for me knowing the kind of family I came from, and what lies ahead. I feel so down right now. Five years down the line, I'm unemployed and my dream of becoming a lecturer seem not feasible anymore. Just recently my landlord called me and reminded me I've not paid last year rent. I'm tired and giving up about everything.

Pls I need help out of this dilemma. My prayers are simple. Help me with a good job that I can save, do my masters and PhD and get a lecturing job. If the lecturing won't be possible, at least let me be comfortable and help my family. Help me dry this tears in my eyes. Even if not for me, for the sake of my younger ones who look up to me for help and support, my aging mum and people around me. There's tears in my heart anytime I can't help when they are in need.

I can do a lot, I learn very fast, I can manage your organization/establishments, I can mange social media accounts, I can do anything with minimal tutoring about it. Please help me anyway you can.
God bless you.

If you are less than 26, give the Big 4 (KPMG, PwC, EY, Deloitte) a shot, I am sure you should get in with ease. Another option is to try UI for your Masters and if you do well and get into PhD, they pay N30k as monthly stipends at that level.

Jonathan:
Shut your shǐt

What the fûck does it mean

Who's the fool that defines what it means?

You better woman Up and start using your brain.

If you had to resort to insults and name calling then, it is obvious you need some manning up to do. At least, as the man you claim, you should be able to talk maturely without throwing unnecessary tantrums.

I sometimes cannot understand the cravings. She doesn't eat the same thing with me anymore cos she has to cook whatever it is that comes to her mind.

CeterisXVII:
God bless you big time, every single day!! I have seen those who would gladly bring up kids of extended family members, for many years....and those kids turned out well.

I don't know why the children of wickedness are now saying a mother must not be allowed to bring home, her biological son to care for him!

Amen. I feel the issue is most of us are dsyfunctioned and have been made to think we are better off others. If we all see life as an opportunity and try to ensure everyone is relatively better, we all would be happy.

Jonathan:
That stupid line of "man up" has put many men in trouble. You should please steak it into your black smehlie ass and NEVER use it again.

Are you pained you can't just grow up to become a man in all sense of what it means? You don't need to hate the player, hate the game. I would tell a fellow man as me to man up. I have in many situations and I have never regretted it. It has given me much joy to do that again and again.

ajalawole:
I already do introduction and have meet her parents. and also she is a graduate, I have to get her job where am base, she has been without job for two year. so u prefer I get her a new apartment for herself right

What she is asking is if you guys engage in sex while staying together before marriage.

@OP,
You can't fight her over her religious beliefs and the best you can do is to either appeal to her religious sentiments or take a walk.

Psoul:
Bros, it's not easy to accept another man's child. Only few of "us" (I inclusive) can do dat
Especially when the child is a boy
And you are yet to get ur own boy
And he will likely live with you for a verrrrry lonnng time
You have not lost hope of child bearing.
It will be easier for a childless old man.
The woman has failed to do more to convince the man and still douse his fears.
She is just only taken over by emotion.
Men don't consider emotions in this kind of matter. They listen to rational words.

I guess I am a bit different because I do not see much difference except he as the head of the home wants to let them know they are. I have friends whose one parent had kids outside of wedlock and the only indicator in most cases are the different surnames. More so, growing up, we had different relatives who lived with us and I have neighbors in same situation and we do not see ourselves different. For most of my brothers and sisters, people find it hard to understand we are not related but my community was tight and knit. We never learned segregation and I would do all to ensure I do not segregate as well.

Is this truly an achievement? Oh my Nigeria, why do you keep celebrating mediocrity?

martowskin1:
Funny how u all attack the man, but not the father who ran away from his responsibilities. The man hold that child nothing. He have father and his father have families.

The boy won't answer his name, what are u guys saying

He tried enough to even accept one of the kids.

The solution is, send the boy to boarding school, during holidays he can come home spend few weeks and go back to school.

Just the way he has a father, the husband knew of his existence and chose to marry the mother. If you can't stand the heat, don't come near the kitchen.

Pusyiter:
Put him in a boarding school
Where to stay during holidays will not be a problem
He can stay with a priest/pastor during hols
My cent.

That boy needs some real love first to outgrow his bad habits as a boarding school could have worse influence on him at the moment.

movement2020:
From this, it is understandable why your husband is not accepting the boy. He might have learnt some attitude which may affect your litltle daughter putting into consideration the present incest and all sorts all around.

However, I would advise two options.

Try and get the contact of your ex or any of their siblings to hand over the boy to them.

Use your woman power to plead and assure your husband to accept the boy. You can also use his friends, relatives and parents to drive home your plea.

I understand the fear in bold however, as a man who was once a boy, who knows what the love of one's family means, I think he can help rejuvenate the young chap. All he needs is be close to him and become his best buddy. Trust me, he will be happy for it but I have a feeling that his fears are limiting him.

Oyindidi:
What about his family or friends? That boy needs your care that's why he's misbehaving(stealing)

And perhaps, a father figure which the husband should be willing to step up to.

Davash222:
Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.

He knew she had the son before marriage and accepted her with the baggage so your reasoning is shallow. He would get peace if he mans up and act like the man he should be.

Never been caught because I started very late and not really into it however, due to the person I am, I have caught a few people at different times. I remember one, I had gone to visit a classmate on a Sunday morning and his roommate was busy vibrating on the bed. For me, it was hot but I just had to pretend like his roommate that I did not see what he was doing, The worst of it is seeing some guys in dirty boxers with semen prints on it.

Jaubdu:
. Old enough to have a family,I worked with a firm, do some side bizs

If you cannot tell your age on a social platform and what you do, are you sure you are willing to meet people that could ask you questions that are way beyond line of decency? For example, I was at a friend's engagement ceremony and the father in law asked him if his dick is potent and big enough to satisfy his daughter. As a friend, I was ashamed but later realized the girl's father is a Baba Ita.

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Hastobetrue:
I am tired of trying, I just want to get it right.
In search for something TRUE


A man from 35 upwards
A WORKING British (I mean should have his papers and have job, RESPONSIBILITY is topmost)
I want a lover of God but not a FANATIC
It doesn't matter if you are a single dad, divorced or widowed (just be a wonderful man, husband, father and companion)


I am a very lovely lady
A single mum
No I don't live in England
Nigerian
In my 30s
I won't ask for what I dont/can't give

If you are tired of not getting it right too and ready to settle down soon, kindly shoot me an email hastobetrue21@gmail.com

**Please if you are arrogant and full of pride don't email me
I could be nasty **

Do you have papers to live in the UK or do you mean someone who has a British passport and has legal papers to work in Nigeria?

proclinician:
Just know a hypothesis can be anything. Pray life doesn't teach you. When a man refuses to learn from the experience of others, life may be kind enough to give him his own experience to learn from. If he calls it a bluff he is doomed.

Oga, do you know my experience? Do you know my age or how old I got married and how old my wife was? Do you know many marry young and at that they had challenges? All you have just written is a biased way of life and lacks objectivity.

proclinician:
Hey relax. I am not a student well at least i no be academic student. What i said is a hypothesis like saying the earth is flat. A lot of ppl have read this and pass because it corroborates their life experience okay and some have taken it personal because they think they can talk to anyone anyhow they like. this is the summary of what my uncle experienced getting married so pls next time u come here and associate me with the word stupid i will be very angry.

Which hypothesis? The one your ignorant mind coined right? Anyways, I am not sure it is worth wasting our time trying to talk about what isn't necessary since we all have choices to our beliefs.

proclinician:
20 to 25..... Whoring stage, very stubborn and sexploiting

27 -30 and above.. ... Calm and calculated. Time is running out. All men matters.

To think you are a medical student and write in such a stupid manner is dumbfounding. I guess you need to relax and learn more as your type is now common in practice. An example is the idiot telling a woman to leave her husband because he has low sperm count in this day and time when there are lifestyle modifications and drugs to help boost semen production.

FarFromAverage:
She's 33 and you like her character?
Brother run... You're joking with a green snake in a green grass. Though I'm not against you, but the thing is what stopped her from getting married when she was in her twenties?

Stop reasoning like an adolescent. Many married ladies who are older than 33 and are experiencing peace in their homes.