₦airaland Forum

@ Tkb

the meltdown is really cooking shit up in my neck o d woods
Aint no time to say no time.

I added u both on Y! & FB tho i'm more on latter.(mostly evenings & weekends due to workplace restrictions)

@tollu
the absenteesim no be small o.

Hope ur choice is to stay back where u're @ till d big hit comes along.
Cos take it from me, the employment market (legit stuff i.e.) is wack right now.

But if u've got the mind for illegit like kidnapping, narco-logistics, oil-bunkering etc etc then this is ur season.

Cristalz where u @

jarus how far una don fling the motor?

Brashy, hows the 'other job'

please peeps keep up the hustle & know that in times like this, cash is King so save, save & keep saving.(wisely tho)

Ol boy no dey harsh

The 'castle' is actually a real castle

The min water is a private lake by the castle

the food is for the community that lives beside the castle

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

I think Umoru is fresh outta mature daughters "unless u're into the child abuse thing.

Anyways, at this point u can manage any close relative cos as they say, "ALL Johoin"

Sup peeps?

@Tollu
Congrats, As for the Job thingy, no worry. What will be, Will be.

@Topic
this global meltdown crap is really messing my style up. I've been working on some juicy contacts that get me some sweet FX deals.
And guess what Mr Meltdown & his cousin CBN have just crashed the party.

Let me list some of the issues cropping up.

I hear direct FX transfers r gonna be banned soonest.
The transfers charges have gone up in some cases upto 150%.
The Greenback went for N171 today in the Parallel market (the only market where the commodity is).
The Aboki BDC mafia is back & flexing muscle like mad. (still wondering where em muthafcukas r gettin d cheddar from)
My BM is gonna be back by next week with Head Office Fire on his arse about some new outta dis world targets.

I've noticed a sharp rise in the flaunting of WMDs by female BDOs from my bank and rival institutions. (too bad mine is a concealed carry weapon)

but as e be if push comes to shove, lil diggler might jump into action.

Also have y'all noticed that every economic scenario (Boom, Burst, bubble, downturn whatever) seems to favour somebody?

Anyways peace.

ps Oga tkb omo u go link me to these ya HNI investors maaan, b4 d shit hits d feezy.

also i apologize for excessive use of expletives(i.e. in case u find em offensive), thats d only way my current state of mind can be conveyed.

Hi peeps,
y'all do
Seems the thread is on a bit of a slump.
Well i'm guessing its the meltdown & all making the Hustle a more challenging & keeping folks away from online socializing.

Anyways, i've been having a pretty torrid week myself.
My BossMan aint back & the wahala is just cant stop piling up.

Office power systems were shot to shit today & with it came irritable customers who didnt want to be diverted to other branches.
One dude threatened to sever all ties wif us & make sure he takes not less than 10 HNI's with him.
we sha swallowed the insult & thanked the guy on top whilst deploying some damage control.

Please dont let this our thing die

I just saw a short film (like 5 minutes) that ended up being a bankPHB TV commercial.

Personally for me, the thing was pointless even though it was well made (production etc etc).

My question is, when will Nigerian Ads be short & to d point like all them 30 second superbowl ads they have in the US.

@Jericho
Feeling ur pain on the Power stuff. Na naija we dey so just build it into ur bills esp for dat 19 dude (hope ur spoon long well well)

@jarus
Ol boy no fall hand for here, even typist for NNPC dey fit arrange things, In 9ja everything is in the realm of the possible

@Topic
My acting Bm has just proven his mettle. It takes the heat to bring out the best in us.
The dude delegated to perfection and was able to carry everyone along .(even those with trouble maker genes in their DNA)
I do hope they get this dude his own branch or something soonest (on how i be im boy, e go sweet).

Only downside of a promising is a brewing issue i have with my Area Manager. Of all d staff na me d Mofo pick on 4 whitewashing,(upon say my performance is on d up given Market conditions & other variables)
Anyways i just saw thru d dude & he's nothing but an empty vessel rattling.When my deal of the decade comes thru in a month or so, i'm a show that dude where he can stuff his block head.

Anyways peeps keep up da hustle

Hello Peeps

Hope the weekend was cracking for y'all. Mine was too good to be true cos if i'd been a bit more perceptive, i should've known it was the calm b4 d friggin storm.

My BM set monday rolling by telling us he was going on a 2 week course (more like 2 week lounging if u ask me).
To complicate issues, the #3 in line to branch throne is also on another jamboree course. So the current custodian to the throne has his work cut out.
Naturally, he's on erybodys ass chomping like mad. (I forgot to mention my Branch performance for Jan was sub par)

So the saga continues

Ps. Ajanlekoko, Welcome to da club, Will have fun reading ur fiction.

@Tollu
I know the almighty heard my prayers no matter what.
Once the maga pays we all gonna shout Hallelujah together.

@Cristalz
Wasnt exactly shopping 4 d pinstripe, It wuz custom made by my local Saville Aba Row.Just went to pick it up.
Besides i went out on my personal Mob (downside of being 1.)the most junior(rank, age), 2.)In a unit dominated by outta shape married women & i,m damn sure they use d cars for school run.



@Topic
the meeting went as i expected (more of a meet, greet & re-establish contact thingy).Tho the dude wuz forming what we Igbos call 'Obi akpo' (Heart of rock - direct translation).
However, i wrote the book on how to win back ex- girlfriends so i no dey fear.
Also feelers indicate Head office is interested in the account so looks like we'll get a near blank check to offer these blokes.

Tagged along with the my BM & Area manager for some recovery calls. (Pinstripe representing).

Left for home quite early but Occupational hazard made sure i had relationship calls to make on d way home.

ps. My very first Customer had an accident. I felt real bad for the dude. Praying for his speedy recovery

@tkb
Come to think of it, u cant serve the lord effectively on an empty stomach.
Besides, He provides.

@Topic
* Serviced some of my biggest clients today.
* Took care of some personal biz whilst out on calls (the calls were destined for d drains anyway)
* Finished up by prepping for a mega call tomorrow. Tryin 2 win back the biggest customer my branch had pre-consolidation (was in High school when the acc was opened, then annual turnover was like N1.2bn). Presently these dudes r like 5 times bigger and growing. Just wondering how they let these dudes go so easy.
Plus the current acc manager who has no clue whats up wiv the coy is now forming beef. well i've got a couple of aces (the LORD firstly) plus a new power pinstripe (that was part of the personal biz i took care of)

Now going into a session of prayer.

@ Cristalz
Tore shit up with that suit. Even them honeys was itchin for a piece (forthcoming weekend is complicated as it is but i still got the numbers tho)

@tkb
Glad u had a great day, Diggin ur Posts man
Ur side of the Financial Services industry is it, crunchy meltdown or not.

@Tollu

Lay off the Caffeine, Trust me on that.

@Topic
I had a smooth day. got the check also taught a senior colleague a lesson or two about marketing. ( u dont have to sound so pathetic out there plus It aint about life & death).
Also expecting some major inflows before the week runs out.

Was given the run around by some dude i've been tryin to get an appointment with (He shuld just chill cos i've got some aces up my sleeve).

Damned the bloody Torpedoes and left the Office early.

Ps@Cristalz
Watching live transmissions of Homemade Award shows is always such a drag cos the glitches r one too many.
Upon all his money & purported stickling for excellence, i'd expect Adenuga to hire say dem chaps that direct the Grammys or something.

@Cristalz
Every Monday, i feel like a junkie checking into detox or something like that. With withdrawal symptoms & all.


@topic
anyways today was kinda mixed.


*  Closed a very tidy TD deal, that turned out as a win win for all parties (moi, the customer & the bank in that order). Will collect check tomorrow(note to self: wear the power pinstripe)
*  made a couple of calls to some HiNetWorth's  that sounded real promising
*  Was harshly reminded of my below par performance as regards the various targets (kinda becoming impervious to the Jabs).
*  I'm sure i've got a lil beef brewing with the Capo of my departmental Mafia (like i give 2 f***s, anytime anywhere baby, i dey kampe)

Still wish i could love this aspect of the biz like Cristalz, tho i acknowledge its the best course for now.

It aint about being extreme, thats the kinda mentality that made him the Richest guy on Gods earth for a decade or so.

I do hope his new crusade works (tho he has to find a way to circumvent corrupt 3rd world governments who would be all to glad to sink their claws on the $1.4billion)

spikedcylinder:
Are you sure this is not an advert because you seem to have given the place more appeal.

LOL

For real, i'm hitting tarkwa this November

Nice thread y'all.

I'm a few months Old in the Banking industry (C & M). Though i know i'm better placed than my colleagues in OPs (faster promotions & i get around a lot so i spot a few side runs opportunities) however, my working Days in the past few weeks have turned to a case of LFTWS - (looking forward to weekend syndrome)
Sure Cristalz is having a ball in Abj (Public sector money has always been sweet)

Last week was a very shitty one for moi. Cos after the Chinese hols, All the traders were placing orders to China.

Was real scared on Thursday when i physically moved $150k a distance of about 100 meters.

I'm still wondering how i'll meet my seemingly unrealistic target 4 Feb esp as I did 15% in Jan mostly cos of d FX rate madness and extreme caution in the market.
(tkb's comment bout erybody making 100% was right on the money. tho i'm guessing Mgt will just increase the bloody targets if that happens)

I'm looking to hook up wif d ACCA, CFA, CISA holders/candidates in da house, see if i'll be inspired to swing that way,
Or better i should hook up wif Jericho see what it takes to get off the Payroll & start paying the roll.

Keep up the Hustle peeps.

I've noticed a resurgence of the Vigilante Security outfits across the country. especially in the East.
Almost every Residential community, Estate, Market union, Town Union seems to have one.
These outfits in turn have some kind of understanding with the police cos u seem the patrolling close to Police formations and checkpoints with their Guns in full public glare.

This has therefore created a large market for Shot-guns and ammunition.

The Pix represent the decay in our system.

1.) Poorly trained Police officer disregards S.O.P. for stopping a vehicle (whether na egunje or otherwise be the reason)

2.) Lawless, Probably impatient & obviously frustrated Nigerian lady takes Subject #1 abovee for a lil ride.

3.) Glorified Bus-stop Analysts (yours truly being an eminent arm-chair analyst) now break the shiz-nizz down.

Talking from personal experience, Battling against becomePoor is a totally futile effort.

i'd advise u join the club an see the humor in the dude expressing the reach and depth of his deranged mind.

What i cant understand is how this dude can link in a satellite foto to a thread on female underwear 9once its in the politics section) and still support it with points inspired by 'cheap expired drugs'

earTHMama:
What effect will he have as a party chairman?. I think they were being corny because for them to suddenly elect a black man immidiately after Obama looks so desperate. GOP should regroup their party and include programs that will attract young people . If they think electing a black man as chairman will erase the common notion that they are an association of rednecks all of a sudden, they better have another think coming. I think they are using Steele as an object to reinvigorate their party and allow the chosen ones to ascend the throne. I hate partisan politics.

U hit it spot on. Reactionary type politics (Sarah Palin rings a bell dont it?) afer the initial gra-gra, effectively lost the election for the GOP.

And guess what, they are at it again.

@post

Is u developing cold feet or what?
U asked for a lambo & u've got it so wtf u whing bout the price.
mind u used $1 = N132 or so for ur calculations.

So u might wanna review that price upwards.

Kase lawal's Camac Holdings has made a ton of money trading in Nigerian Crude.
His lucrative crude lifting contracts were gotten through the usual hanky panky dealings with whatever government that's in power.

So in the end 'i[b]ts your money that he's giving freely to TSU[/b]'.

However, If they r caveats that enable students of Nigerian origin to benefit from his largesse, then i'd say he's gotten partial redemption.

As a government approved Oshiomole basher, i am not surprised. This my friends is just the tip of the friggin Iceberg called Comrade Looting.

The robbery reportedly lasted for over two hours without any interruption, except when the members of the state vigilance team came to the scene and killed one of the armed robbers.

Other members of the gang escaped with their loot, firing sporadically into the air to scare away people around

If my experience with these vigilante teams is anything to go by, these fellas are armed with machetes and Pump-action shot guns.
So how were they able to engage and down one of these robbers whilst the Police Escort armed with Kalashnikovs and body armour were cut down like goats.

Abi Vigilante don kpai some innocent bystander?

Also, these robbers probably have tie ins to the Groups operating in the creeks, which explains their sophisticated weaponry.

In its early days i.e. 1999 - 2002, the cybercafes where ok

Libraries/Bookstores (section dependent)are still a good bet, tho our we have few of those around talk less of ppl visiting em.
Same applies to Video rental shops (again section determines---stay off porn aisle)

As for dem malls (palms, silverbird) etc, i'd classify em with the clubs however.

it dont matter where u meet ur partner, it all depends on ur Ppl assessment abilities & how y'all hit it off.

Some of these militants get their arms from Russian mobsters in exchange for crude.

Anyways i hope Rusal get their men back.

Whats with these militants attacking non-oil workers (Julius berger, Rusal) ?

Long Live the Niger-Delta

May that Oil never finish!!!

@ScanLess has said it all.

Akunyili is being given the flip side of the Ribadu treatment.


I cried, Laughed, froze up & went berserk all at the same time when i heard of  the ministerial list.

We are reaping Obasanjo's punishment for foiling his 3rd term agenda.

When it comes to fiction, i love Spy/political/detective thrillers (movies & literature)

In all of em, the US Secret Service are depicted as these superhuman dudes that always save the day @ the last minute
Sometimes stepping in to take a bullet for el presidente. (Clint Eastwood-in the Line of Fire, Murder @ 1600, Sentinel etc etc)

But on Sunday, for like 4 seconds, smack dab in the middle of the most hostile territory on planet earth.
Where US forces are constantly on HIGH ALERT.

Mr Muntadhar Al-Zaidi, threw not one but Two shoes (one after the other mind u) at 'Dubya' and the fastest secret Service dude showed up like 2 seconds after last shoe.

Therefore, to all my friends whom in years past i've out-argued on the Secret Services efficiency i sincerely apologize.

Also since George 'Dubya' Bush has shown that he learnt from Neo in the Matrix, Its about time the Secret Service be scrapped.

AL-Zaidi's Maga has Paid big time.

We're talking, Book Deals, Film rights, Interviews, Political points etc, etc

I'm checking to see if the shoes have made it to ebay, (on how e don become Projectile, the Inept secret service go don house am as evidence)

Me throw $350 Kenneth Cole oxfords wey dem dash me live from Yankee?
God Forbid bad thing!!!!

Even to toss my Custom made (Aba) Shoes @ any Nigerian leader na grave Insult to the Shoe.

Nigeria has been running a monumental (Government Assisted) Ponzi Scheme since way back when.
So aint nothing new.

We dey kampe