₦airaland Forum

Sometimes you do certain things in a relationship just to let your partner know that you care; that they weigh very much with your heart!
Perhaps, taking one’s boyfriend out for a meal is not one of such things, but I can’t help but wonder if ladies take their boyfriends out for lunch, dinner etc. as guys do!

I see ladies and guys everyday in this or that eatery, with the ladies always smiling and pointing to one thing or the other in the showcases!

Now I’m asking…, just to calm the curious side of me, if you as a lady in a relationship have ever taken your boyfriend out for a meal.
As a guy have you ever been asked out by a lady with whom you are/were in a relationship for a meal?

ibotjaycob: If You Give An Idi*t A Megaphone: The
Unintended Negative Consequences Of
Social Media. This is exactly what you just exhibited with your post, I'm so sorry i could not reply since morning, some of us are busy with work and not here embarrassing your mother.

You don't have to work 24 hours to earn peanuts to let your mother know that your're being useful; some people work less than 2hours a day and make more than what you make in a month!

...and just so that you won't have sleepless nights and to calm frayed nerves, I've changed the topic of the thread!

ibotjaycob: Dumb post by a dummy. When u have a daughter, please let men deflower her when she sees her first period ok. U human with no brain, u joke with everything, have you wondered why u are still where u are today? when ur mates are taking giant strides in life, u here talking about silly and dumb things. u should at least pity your mother and make something useful of yourself.

...and the giant strides you took in life to be useful to yourself and make your mother proud brought you to nairaland romance section to make this trashy comment that seems to be emanating from a source webbed in delusions and walking parallel to reality!

What is posted here are things happening around you and if you decide not to tune your mental environment to sense reality, that's you and not me! It's not a crime to be aware of reality and share it! ...no matter how bad it is, it's reality.

It's not a crime to be deflowered at the right age for the right reasons... and if you must know, relationship has a natural progression!

And like I said, it's a choice to whom you get married and how you choose to live your life!

I'll see her as being shallow and stop wooing her!

Epathra: Another one of the numerous delusional posts I see on here. This post ia an insult to chastity and the commitment put into staying a v.irgin till marriage.
Ʊя̩̥̊ kind don't deserve ΐτ̅. ΐτ̅'s like giving precious pearls to pigs .
Don't bother quoting ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥. Won't do u  honour of a response. I'm out!

Ok, I wont quote you!

...but know that it's not actually an insult to chastity... Don't mind the title of the thread but weigh the points it's trying to make!
After all marriage is a choice and to whom you get married is also a choice!

Ivyluvie2: If they don't marry the virgins,what should be the fate of virgins?go ahead and f*** all guys?and then another topic comes up'no virgins in nigeria'or'naija girls are so cheap'#justasking

...the fate of virgins... Well, they will get married, but in most cases, they'd have to lose it either to the man they marry or someone else before marriage!

baralatie: perharps? in a love relationship and you have the word(perharps)

What are you saying/implying?

This post is not intended to encourage waywardness.

Yes, here are a few things you should know about virgin ladies; marrying a virgin lady may not be particularly good… Read below why it is so!

She Compares You with Fantasies
Since she has no experience of romantic situations shaped by reality, your actions are compared with her fantasies about romance imprinted in her heart by thoughts and romantic literature.

She Will Have Romantic Ideas about Love Making
The romantic world of a virgin is shaped by thoughts and ideas. She sees, using her inner vision, a romantic world designed and shaped by thoughts, ideas and impressions. She thinks making love is an “end of the world” experience; she wants to shape reality with her thoughts and ideas.
So, a man may disappoint her when his actions don’t fit into what she had seen through her mind’s eye and this leads to frustration!

Chastity Is a State Of Mind
Girls of today are exposed to a lot of indecency and romantic literature; they bathe their minds in wild thoughts about romance!
A lady may be a virgin physically but her heart may not be chaste!
She’s wilder on the inside than non virgins; it’s even possible she’s loved before and lost her chastity!

Likely To Commit Adultery
When ladies talk about their men, they talk about almost anything and when your virgin lady/wife happens to hear such conversations, she may have ideas and make comparisons. When she sees that reality is different from her fantasies and what she keeps hearing, she may start feeling pangs of adultery and a desire to explore ‘things’ in her environment that can give feelings akin to those processed in her heart from her thoughts and hearing!
Thoughts like “Is this all there is to making love?” starts making their presence felt in her mental environment!

You May Not Like Her
Yes, you meet her, like her, want a relationship and she tells you she’s a virgin and doesn’t do relationships; you propose and she accepts!
What if you discover later on that you don’t like her, that she’s not the right one for you?

These are just a few of the reasons I think marrying a virgin lady should not be a spectacular thing of joy!

lawrenceunaa: it happens but u gotta use ya head
Girl: my ex came back from UK and asked for my forgiveness

Guy: hope u forgave him

Girl:yea i did but wasn't from my mind

Guy: ok

Girl:guess what

Guy: i bought u gift right

Girl: not that he proposed to me

Guy:halleluyah , so did u accept

Girl:i told him i would think abt it

Guy: what! Better think ooo @ least i have seen someone to take this BURDEN off me

GIRL:did i hear u well, did you just called me a burden?

Guy: am not responsible for what you understand but better accept that proposal

Bro, this your head get as e bi o!

Me I dey advice them to follow their hearts; ...marry the ex anybody if they feel ok with it. I ask them to marry based on love; I don't commit myself no matter how I feel. They can only come back to ask "Is this all you can say? Don't you love me?"
At least the answer you find to the above questions will better than making promises you can't fulfill or regret later on or made out of pride!

mascot87: If I love, I do with all my heart & so I will say yes I love u to d person I give my heart to as often as possible but taking me for granted could melt my heart.I have a soft heart

Yes, it's easy to say when you truely love, but what if you don't really love? Can you really answer no, when she loves you to a fault!

ladywriter: If you don't really love your partner, and the question "Do you love me?" comes up, you can use one of the following responses:

a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?

@e Lol... of course, it's you or is there someone else in the room?

AfricanApple: biko, what's d purpose of did thread

...that sometimes when ladies say those things up there, they're lies intended to manipulate the guy; ...that guys should not say they will marry you because you told them those things up there; ...they should not commit themselves to something they don't really want!

lawrenceunaa: op the question should be thus: 'did you for once love me' ?

my answer would be yes

Reasons being :'then you thought and acted maturely' but now
I cant state the difference b/w you & my 10yr old niece

Ok, noted but the question is "Do you love me?".
It's possible you never loved her from the beginning; perhaps, it died along the way; perhaps, you still love her!

Ladies are very cunning! I know there’re some guys there who got married because of commitments they made to ladies that, if given a second chance, they wouldn’t marry!
They fell into the trap and became emotionally bound to their commitments!

Some are able to back out and are called heartless, heartbreakers, cheats and all that!

A lady would tell you that her ex just came back from London and he’s asking her to marry him; she would tell you that her ex has apologized to her and that he’s asking her to marry him; she would tell you the men proposing to her even if she’s not had a single proposal for the past 3 years or so!

She does all this to have a commitment from the guy; something she can hold on to!

Now, I’m not saying that all commitments from such situations are forced, but many of them are, and the times guys are most vulnerable to such commitments are at the beginning of the relationship, when they have not had enough of the lady!

She wants know to what extent you're willing to take the relationship!

HFOG: I think I usually do not give the wrong impression so finding myself in this situation is unlikely. I won't be in a relationship with someone I do not really love and have emotions for. You'll know before long what my fellings are.

Well, it doesn't always work that way! Love is something that develops over time.
You may see a guy and feel attracted to him and eventually starts a relationship with him but along the way, you discover that you don't really love him despite his being nice to you! ....talking out of experience.

ideyhere: You never loved him or you did but don't anymore?

Sometimes, people stay in relationships not necessarily because of love, but for some other reasons!

eph12: I think most people have learnt not to ask that question again unless both partners are ready for marriage. We have learnt to make do with actions and hope for the best

Perhaps you're right, but people still get asked this question! Ladies especially would even ask a guy to tell them that they're loved and when this happens, most often than not, out of pity, you say 'yes'; you tell them you love them but within you it's a different feeling!

Sometimes in a relationship, we want validation of our feelings.
We love our partners and we want the feeling to be mutual; we crave to be told we’re loved.

Even if actions seem to suggest that we are, we still want to hear the words “I love you” from the one we love, but they are not forthcoming! It seems to be a dream!

Out of frustration, you ask your partner “Do you love me?”
If you were the other partner and you never really loved your partner, what would your answer be?

Would it be a yes/no? If yes why?

princesstemi: Is there anything wrong for a lady to be the 1st person to talk about marriage in a relationship?


Mature response plz!

It's not wrong but you shouldn't go all out to propose to a man, especially a Nigerian!

MzPreshie: He's only trying to be polite and not hurt her but at the same time, lying to her. Told him already to tell the girl the truth, but he feels its unfair and hurtful to tell her his friend did the wooing stuff.

He's only being delusional.

MzPreshie: I have this good friend, a guy, and he's the shy type - can't ask a girl out. So oneday, he and his friends were in his house doing guys' stuff. Unknown to him, one of his friends took his phone, opened his whatsapp and while chatting with one of his friends, asked her out. The girl accepted, thinking it was my friend that actually asked her out and asked to visit him later. At that point, the friend then told him of what he did and together his friends encouraged him to say yes to the girl's visit request. My friend did as his friends said, met the girl and they actually started dating. But then, my friend wasn't really into the girl, he only agreed cause he didn't want the girl knowing it was actually his friend that asked her out on his behalf, without his consent. And just three months into the 'relationship', my friend told the girl he wasn't interested anymore. The girl was really hurt by the seperation, she really did love my friend. And now, even after many months of their seperation, the girl is like she still loves him and has been asking him the reason behind his no-longer-interested decision and he keeps saying nothing. Now, together with her friend, the girl is pleading that they start again. This guy is really confused now and even tells the girl he still loves her (just so he doesn't hurt her) but just doesn't want a relationship now. Now the problem is, the girl believes he still loves her and wouldn't take no for an answer about the getting back together ish. So please, what should he do, he doesn't want to hurt her. I've met the girl and she's just amazing, just my friend's heart doesn't want to take her in. What should he do please?

There’s nothing much he can do other than coming out plain to her, instead of giving a front of something he doesn’t feel!

Pretending to be in love and at the same time leading the other person on, are things that should be avoided in a relationship!

Instead of letting her build false hope around a relationship that he knows is not leading anywhere he should be bold enough to tell her his true feelings.

It’s a pity she loves him but he can’t love her back, that’s life!
You can’t force love; it develops over time and this is possible only if your interest in your partner is strong enough to allow it to develop!

He can pretend to love her and go back into a relationship with her but that’s just what it is, pretence!
It has no roots and has very slim chances of survival.

chikk: ^^^ Chikk is blessed. Tnx. Morning n howdy?

I'm cool and it's good to know that you're blessed.
...thanks and remain blessed.

chikk: Hmmmm.

What is Hmmmm?
By the way, how's chikk doing?

Ok.

When the foundation is not right it's just a matter of time when the building starts crumbling.

AnodaIT: It is a youthful passion dear and it is normal , just go ahead and enjoy it while it last , you would also learn much from the relationship.
Dont allow people to advise you as if you are preparing for marriage, it is just one of those stages in life , enjoy each other and keep them memories.
Tell your friend , she would still find out at last so u better tell her now so that she could always trust you in future

Nice.

Saraben: she is right and sum tin must b wrong wt u

Do you know the op? Or are you the.....?

@Topic: No it's not proper.

[quote author=Flygerian.]I cried too.[/quote]Are you being serious? And you did this in the presence of your lady?