₦airaland Forum

TrishaP: Good morning and Happy sunday to Nlers, My close friend but not my bestfriend sha wants to come stay in my fiance's house for a while b4 going back to school. Pls is it advisable to allow her stay, i've бǝ̩̩̩̥ǝ̩̩̩̥η thinking about it. One mind tells me No and the other tells me yes. Dunno what to say yet.

If the girl is very beautiful with a nice shape, firm backside and has all the ingredients that follow these attributes, hmm think very well before you bring her o, if you must help a friend! You make sure that you don't leave the two of them alone for any length of time, especially if she's staying for a while!
It's not easy for a man not to fall for the seduction of a fine babe, which I'm assuming your friend to be, at such a close range!
*What is she even coming to do sef? You sure say no be to take over? *

Forget about all this history of boyfriend snatching, 'woman lookery' and womanizing advice people are giving you o! Those womanizers and snatchers, before they started, they didn't have any history of womanizing or boyfriend - grabbing! Everything started one day and they now have history for you to judge them by there past behavior! just be caful!!!

TrishaP: Good morning and Happy sunday to Nlers, My close friend but not my bestfriend sha wants to come stay in my fiance's house for a while b4 going back to school. Pls is it advisable to allow her stay, i've бǝ̩̩̩̥ǝ̩̩̩̥η thinking about it. One mind tells me No and the other tells me yes. Dunno what to say yet.

Chai, this girl don finish me with lafta!!!
Since when did you become the landlady of my own house and decide on who to bring in and who not to?

Anyway, I hope she's fine sha! When you bring her just give us some space so that I can get to know her better!!

Roses4u: I really need some advice. There is guy in my office who has been hitting on me for close to a year now. I always refuse his advances for a relationship cos I feel he is a player.

I have caught him on several occassions, staring at the legs and butt of other female colleagues. Although I do like him but I feel he is just lusting after me. Should I give him a chance or what do think? Please advise

You're waiting for a man that will not look at the legs and butts of other ladies, ehn? Alright wait for me!!!

On a serious note, if you like him as you say --- no as you do, why not give him a chance and see how it develops! Every man looks at women.

alfredo4u: @mrknwitall, i neva said lov dont exist, wat mainly give birth to luv is interest.

Try dis, walk tru d street ten toes and try toastin a babe, u wil c ha responds. Next time, use a jeep and meet dat same girl, u wil c ha respond.

99% of guys/babes settles 4 wat dey c now and nt in d future.

Will u call dat luv or interest?

Sorry, I don't see what point you're trying to make here! If interest gives birth to love then there's love so what's the argument?

Also at the text in bold, the comparison doesn't make any sense to me for you've said it yourself that it's interest that gives birth to love, so why would you expect someone to love you without that interest being created? Does it sound logical?

Do you believe that there's something like hatred? If you do, why do people hate others?

If you can find just one reason why someone would hate someone else, you'd have provided an answer to why love is conditional and certain conditions (depending on the individual's likes and preferences) need to be met before it germinates and blossoms over time!

kokoye: errhhmm...did you see the link at the bottom of the post?

Danm! There's a link but I didn't see!!! Anyway, it's this girl's fault!

kokoye: errhhmm...did you see the link at the bottom of the post?

<----->

kokoye: errhhmm...did you see the link at the bottom of the post?

Danm! It's a link and I didn't see!!! Anyway, it's this girl's fault!

wonlasewonimi: You no know the size wey dey enter the place before?

Lol

diji04: I had séx with my brother-in-law by mistake. In the dark I thought he was my husband.

I’m 29, my husband’s 31. His parents held a family party for his niece’s 18th birthday last weekend.

Everyone was there, including my husband’s brother who was home from working away in Saudi. He’s 36.

We all get on well and there was plenty of alcohol and food. It was a nice party and we carried on drinking and dancing into the small hours.

My husband went up to bed before me and said he’d be waiting for me. I followed him up 20 minutes later. I got into bed feeling frisky and we ended up having séx.

I woke up a couple of hours later and sat up to get a drink of water. I pulled back the curtain to let some light in through the window from the street lamp right outside the bedroom.

I looked round and got the shock of my life when I realised I was in bed with the wrong man. The man beside me was my husband’s brother. I’d gone into the wrong bedroom and I guess my brother-in-law thought it was his lucky day. We had all had a lot to drink.

I ran to the right bedroom and crawled into bed with my husband who was fast asleep. Then I realised I’d left my underwear in the other room, so I sneaked back.

My brother-in-law was stirring so I hissed that we must keep quiet about what had happened. He just said, “Whatever.”

He’s flown back to Saudi now but I don’t know whether to admit everything to my husband. If this comes out I’ll lose a man I love more than anything and cause family ructions.

How can you be taken seriously when your gender indicates you're male and you're here talking as a lady?

You're not important in her life! Check your heart; do you feel that she loves you?
And again don't tell her anything; if she can't remember let her be!

Princessmel: Ok I lost my virginity just about a week ago and recently I've just been acting very whoreish with the urge to sleep with literally any man! Somebody help me

What? How could you be so careless as to lose your virginity? And you seem not to even know where you lost it! Anyway, retrace your steps! Look for it everywhere you've been to, you might just be lucky to find it! And just in case you can't find it, do not hesitate to get in touch; I'll buy you another one!! Oya wipe your tears and stop crying!

its22078: he never loved u in the first place sweetheart - love never fails

Whoever says?

Adenikkee: There was a day I asked him, "do you love me?" and he said "yes". I now said but what will I do for you to love me more and he said if only I can pass my JAMB.

Well, the JAMB result came out a few days ago and I did not pass it.

When I told him the result, he said "hmmm, my baby since you didn't pass your JAMB I don't think things can work anymore"

Now I don't know what to do because I love him very much and don't want to lose him.

Please, could he have fallen out of love with me cos of my JAMB result or he's gotten tired of the relationship & using it as a convenient excuse to cop out OR he never loved me before?

NLDers, please I need your advice.

You see ya life! You give am condition to love you more and the condition dey produce false result by say you nor fit pass jamb so that he go love you more and you're complaining!

As for the text in bold, never ever ask your boyfriend that question!!! Even if he never really loved you, he would say yes just not to hurt your feelings! These three words ''I love you'' should come naturally without being prompted! And again for you to have asked him the question you asked, it shows his love was not visible or strong enough for you to see or feel!

My advice
Play the game of love with dignity! See it as a game of probability of which you do not know the outcome! Don't expose your heart to be trampled upon by being desperate!
Don't live your life like your happiness is tied to your boyfriend! Love but love wisely and not foolishly which seems to be your case!

You made him feel he's everything and without him you don't have a life and now he's probably taking advantage of that to play with your feelings!
It may be that he still loves you, if he ever did, or he doesn't love you, but the most important thing is that you should learn to have some emotional independence and stop loving foolishly!

Brymo: i had know dis gal 4 lk 4yrs now,i ask her out,she refuse,so we were,just freinds,for lk gertin 2,3yrs now.so unfortunately she was raped by hooligans,and was seriously wounded emotionally andd mentally,so i went to see ow she was faring,she was recuperting pretty well,so we were just,discusing,n she ask me,do i still luv her,for goodness sakes,wat does she expect me to say,dat i luv her,common she had dat previlege b4,but it gone,but ow do i tell her,cos she said,m all she gat.

For 3 years you remained a friend and waited in hope of having her! Now, she says you're the only one she's got and you say you nor lof am again!!! weitin happen?

Yungwizzzy: The best way to make your ex regret breaking up with you is to turn the tables on your ex by doing the exact opposite to what they expect by making them feel as if they were the one that was dumped. In order to do this you must get a hold of your emotions and realize right now you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Do not make the mistake of using manipulation tactics! 4 Steps To Make Your Ex Regret Breaking Up With You

1. Accept the break up and thank your ex for the time you spent together. Tell them you understand that you can no longer be together and respect their decision.

2. Stop all contact immediately, even if your ex is calling you. More often than not couples will remain in contact with one another with to remain "just friends" or one party trying to convince the other to get together, if this is the case you must stop immediately

The text in bold (step 2) is wrong advice if you ever hope to come back! I'd advice you don't call but whenever his/her call comes through, you should pick it and sound as lively as possible as if you're happy without him/her and don't give any impression that he/she is being missed!

Yungwizzzy: 3. Love your single life. Don't be afraid to go out with friends and start doing things you enjoy, make your ex see that you are still the same person they fell in love with by being confident, positive and out going

How would you make your ex see that you're confident, positive and outgoing when you have no communication and assuming you don't live in the same neighborhood/town?

Yungwizzzy: Get word out to your ex through mutual friends about your new found lease on life. You ex will be begin to wonder if you met someone else after you have stopped contact and are happy again.

I don't seem to understand the text in bold! You mean the lady/guy should send some mutual friend to tell the ex that he/she has found a happy new life? This seems to contradict your very own words, ''Do not make the mistake of using manipulation tactics!'' And what if the ex says, ''I don't care about whatever life she/he has found'' and the friend reports this back to them? Isn't his/her heart being exposed to more bruises?

This doesn't make much sense to me! I think it would be more mature, if you still care so much, to leave the door of communication open and portray the attributes you mentioned above!

Yungwizzzy: 4. Reuniting with your ex. Once the other 3 steps are completed , expect contact from your ex, remember that reuniting is a process , you can not simply jump back into a relationship without fixing the problems that lead to the break up first.

When will it be understood that sometimes when you break-up, you do not want a reunion? You break-up because you really want to, because you've seen someone better, because you never really wanted a relationship that would blossom into something deep in the first place, etc..

His/her wanting to come back is a function of the way they felt about you right from the beginning and the boldness of the footprints you've left behind in his/her heart!

tinuolababy: Not hot

Where is my koboko?

SMH

nijanigga: God really belss jonathan with NOSE,that nose go dey smell patience toto no be small.

There're too many tadpoles jumping around on Nairaland! This needs a ban!

ashmanpolo: You had a simple altercation with your fiance of 3+ years, she gets mad even with your assss because u used some silly words on her, so infuriated that she deleted everything about u from her phone.
She left and didn't call for like a week and then u called to apologise. You make up again with her. Now what's the implication of that 'everything' about u that's no longer in her phone?

I'm surprised that you even expected her to call to apologise after insulting her!!

As for deleting your info in a space of one week, I think she's already getting tired of you; perhaps because of your behavior and any time she has a better choice she might just leave you!

[quote author=gree-die]the only way to hurt him is to show him dat u are happy without him. move on, smile at him, be pleasant and gay.... it.will kill him faster dan otapiapia and u ll still sleep soundly at nite. tryit.[/quote]I don't know why I like this!


pweetychic, I can connect with your state of mind! It's painful giving your all only to be rewarded with a bleeding heart! Life is not fair you would say, but that's just the way it is! You sowed a good seed and expected a beautiful harvest, instead your beautiful heart got shattered on the sharp realities of life! You're now disillusioned and perhaps each time you see your once loved partner, a script embedded in your heart is called up and the result is a bleeding heart!!!

Well, on the streets of love there're always broken hearts, bleeding hearts, angry hearts, hate-filled hearts and merry hearts! The painful reality about these streets is that no matter how much you want to stay in contact with the merry hearts, something always seems to be making you crash into the other hearts! What then do we do? Well, stay in contact with the merry hearts for as long as possible while moving on the streets and don't waste your time being in contact with the other hearts! If you find out that you're constantly being drawn to the other hearts and hardly come in contact with the merry hearts, no matter how much you try to, leave that street!
Life is too short to waste on a street that can't lead to your destination!

If you really want to hurt him, then do as gree-die is suggesting, at least, this is allowed in the game of love! And when he's just being curious as to why you look so merry and cheerful, wave him goodbye and walk away!

@gree-die, you seem to have killed a lot! From otapiapia to now this and this is even judged the faster!!

[quote author=Dr.Abbey]I don't know you but one thing I can say about you is that you are logical and mature.[/quote]Thank you.

Creamz: I have been the angry, unsatisfied and bitter wife for the last nine years. I’m married to a man who has absolutely no respect for the marriage institution. He has had more girlfriends than I have changed my hair since we got married.
He started cheating on me months after our wedding in 2004 when I was pregnant.

Was he forced/deceived into marrying you?
What happened to make him start cheating on you during your pregnancy? Didn't you let him in any longer or your looks took a dive so much that you lost your appeal? What happened?

Creamz: And it hasn't stopped ever since. Every other day a different girl, a different situation, a lot of drama. Initially he would lie or try to cover up when I ask him questions or catch him but now he tells me to go to hell and leave the marriage if I was no longer satisfied.

There's something definitely wrong somewhere but what it is, I can't really put my finger on it! If there was something in you that attracted him into marrying you, I think that thing is long dead and perhaps you should think of reviving it, if this marriage is still anything to you instead of hopping from one boy to the other! Did you at any point, in a quiet moment, reflect on what these other girls could be given him that you were not giving?
Could it be your romantic life is so appalling?
I know a man should satisfy a woman in bed, but we also want to be made to enjoy the act! It's not a one way street!

Though child bearing can distort ones shape, I think you should try to look your best for your husband, if you're not doing so; try to seduce him!

Creamz: Well, I have four kids and I don't plan to be a single mother in this kind of environment so I'm staying put in my marriage but I'm done being the victim. Yes, I have started cheating on my husband.

I'm not in anyway in support of what your husband is doing but you think your 4 kids can guarantee you a permanent stay in that house if your husband finds out you've been sleeping around? Well, you may ask ''What about him''? But when it happens they will tell you it's a man's world!

Creamz: I am proud to say I have a boyfriend who I have regular, satisfying sex with. And I have absolutely no plans of being the faithful wife ever again. Once this affair ends, I'm starting a new one. There's no going back now. As long as he's cheating on me, I will be cheating on me.

The text in bold keeps me thinking!

No, I don't think you should be proud of that!
To me, I'm sorry to say but, it's disgusting to see a married woman, with kids, jumping from one bed to another because she can't mend her home! Two wrongs can never make a right.

Creamz: I smile a lot these days and it's not just Jesus putting the smile on my face. This is the happiest I have been in at least 8 years. And I also discovered that quite a number of my female friends have been cheating on their husbands for years now. Why didn't anyone give me the memo sooner? Just thought to share my happy story. Xoxo Happy Lagos wife.

Jesus doesn't put a smile on a woman's face for cheating on her husband!

Pass this message to the appropriate quarter.

jubrealguy: I know it's quite normal to exchange saliva during a very passionate kiss but i believe it shouldn't be intentional because I'm having a hard time with my girlfriend on that because whenever we're kissing, she just keep passing those saliva to me and this is really irksome.
I just wanna know if that's how it's supposed to be, perhaps I'm dating a freak

Maybe you produce too much saliva while kissing and she has a hard time swallowing it, so instead she passes it on to the producer to do justice to it, huh?

deshclones: now we know why you uploaded this pics...someone's daughter,sister,friend,gf,future mom...in some years time you will see open this thread and weep...you will regret the day you brought your whor1ng to a public forum...i pity you and your folks..all you deserve from sane people is just pity and loads of prayers....you are so insipid and monumentally ph00lish.

Please cut her some slack! Can't she joke because she has some picture uploaded up there? I don't think she meant what she wrote.

Preciousgirl: please nairaland, critically evaluate my looks. thank you

You handsome ---- I mean you're fine, but you 4 give us a wider view na, at least below the ---- hmmm what do they call them? Never mind, you're handsome!

UncleJJ: Jealousy is a product of love and obsessive jealousy is certainly a product of a much deeper love....

Exactly!

MRbrownJAY: right from the start, you are showing the very reason why jealousy is wrong. why do you expect an adult person to give attention to just you (simply because you guys are dating)? cant you see how wrong this is? let that person give people in her life the attention they deserve, so long as it isnt wrong (aka cheating or excessive flirting)

I just painted a scenario where someone is excessively jealous! Now have you bothered to ask why someone would be that jealous? Can you pause for a second to think about how you started with her; the way you smiled, talked, laughed, looked at her etc., when you first met her? Now she's seeing all these signs being displayed on another lady and she doesn't even know what you're going to do next! What would you have her do, sit around and watch the man who's been able to penetrate the depth of her heart to settle at it's core being snatched away?

To every being, there's an emotional side and we do not all have the same level of control over our feelings. You can't make her understand you by talking to her senses when she has an emotional surge! We're dealing with emotion here and you have to connect with her emotional side as well and give her that assurance that she's the only one! don't give her the feeling that she's losing you! let your actions and inactions reassure her worth in your life.

MRbrownJAY: so would you also accept the above in bold as the solution, if your girl was giving/getting attention from guys?!
sadly, even if you introduce the person or tell your partner about them, the result will remain the same.....because jealous people cant think right in these moments. they are not rational when they are jealous thus anything that comes out of their mind at that moment wouldnt make any sense, so long as someone is giving/getting your attention

Now, let me ask you something! If you had just one bank account and one day you went to the bank to make some transaction only to be told your bank won't be operational for two weeks; how would you feel and react assuming the transaction was very important? Now, compare your reaction with a situation where your bank had earlier informed you that they would be inoperational within a specified period. Would your reaction in the two scenarios be the same? Shouldn't you have rather planned ahead should it be the second case?
Have you never seen or heard where people, on reflection, acted or reacted in manners they wished were different in emotional surges?

You do not try to make her see reason when she's already consumed! That is what they call ''Fire brigade approach!'' Your relationship with the one you love should be such that things that border on arousing suspicion are laid bare and no one is in the dark as to the level of your involvement with the outside party!

MRbrownJAY: have you ever tried to reason with a jealous woman?! they make no damn sense, and the only way to solve the problem is if you ONLY give attention that that person, and nobody else in the world. dont talk to anybody, dont look at anybody, dont even think of anybody......just HER.

Reason with her when she is calm and not excited by your actions! How can you connect her senses when her emotional side is vibrating?

[quote author=Ms_Steph]there is a friend of mine who is dating her brother's wife brother(in law) I told her dat wat she is doing is wrong but she said the guy is not her blood so it is not A bad thing.. I want to know what u guys think about this[/quote]She's right.

First of all what would make me excessively jealous, if I should ever be, is if I have deep love for my lady! I would want everything about her to be just mine and no one else's hence any action that would make her give undue attention to whomever it may concern will be seen as an encroachment!

Now, putting my lady in this position where she's excessively jealous because she loves me so much and doesn't want any lady to come any close, I would, if I love her enough and want her in my life, let her in on the details of my being close to whomever may be her source of concern and try to make her understand! I would, if it's necessary, have her introduced to the object of her concern!

I think some partners get so jealous because there's so much secrecy in some relationships. If you should let your partner know about things that are likely to arouse jealousy, I think there wouldn't be room for that kind of jealousy!

How're you chikk?

52 and na inside moto!

@OP
Why a guy would pick a girl/lady on the street and take home to spend days and weeks in the first place beats me!!!

[quote author=buklan4real@yah][/quote]Good you said you asked him, though you didn't say how he reacted besides his begging! Begging could be surface deep or deep enough to touch the bottom of the heart! His begging could just be a front to make him appear as though he regrets his action while it's just the opposite!
If you're discerning enough you would be able to assess the depth of his remorse!

I can also, from your reply, feel the absence of any sort of commitment on his part over this 4-year period!
His parents telling you they're coming for marriage is no commitment on his part; they may have developed some love/pity for you, perhaps because of how long you have been together and in the process trying to convince him to see in you a wife!
Your man should be the one to tell if he wants you as a wife and not his parents!

At the end of the day, the choice to stay with him is entirely yours and no one else's.
If you decide to stick around and eventually got married tomorrow, there are likely to be problems, as long as that baby will be born!
From your reply, the lady is insisting that the baby be born, which is the right thing no matter how the pregnancy came about!

It can never be as sweet as it used to be with the arrival of a baby from another woman!
And unless you're prepared for the eventual occurrence of these problems, I'd advise you walk away if you're not desperate to get married and age has not got a hold on you!
It was an irresponsible or maybe a deliberate act on your man's part.
It would be better to sacrifice a 4-year relationship on the platform of your own happiness than to sacrifice your own happiness on the platform of a 4-year ...ship.

For your man to have slept with this lady without any protection makes me tilt to the opinion that he went for her and not the other way round!
If he loved you just as much as you said he does and had any plans about you being together in the future, at the least, even if he has to cheat, he would have had some form of protection against situations like this! Perhaps he never knew sleeping with a lady without protection could put her in the family way!!!

Dear, life is too short to spend repeating the words ''Had I known''! Think and make a choice! But if the two conditions mentioned above are in your favour, I'd advise you take a walk outside the confines of his walls! He could be giving a signal that he's tired of walking with you! Cheers.