₦airaland Forum

QuadrilAyinde:
So u mean U prefer holding the frame in your marriage to U not living a Lonely and Miserable live when U reach Old age. ... Chai, this is Serious... No Vex brother, when U marry, ensure U carry the 100% Financial Responsibility (this is not even possible sef), I pray God help You Last Long, Amen

Seriously I rest my case with U bro... Goodnight and sweet Dreams

But a lot of men are doing it
Also some men there wives are working but they don't look at there money

From my experience
Those men that look at a woman's money, there is a level of financial success they don't attain

Among my circles
I know dudes that invested good millions into there wives businesses
But still they don't even give a hoot about it
And till today they are thousands times richer than there wives


From my experience
Looking at a woman's stunts a man financially
You can support her in achieving her dreams; she may want to work, or do business or be a house wife etc
Support her to achieve her dreams
She is a human being
She will get fulfilled
And long term she will still be loyal to you

That's how many rich, successful dudes roll
Some where not even that rich in the beginning
But the mindset made them to hustle and succede

Man looking at a woman's money is a no no for me
I have seen it backfire countless of times
And the men never reached there peak

In addition when you support a woman in her dreams
She herself will surprise you financially

I remember my oga then
Several years ago
They wanted to go for family vacation
And the man felt they should hold on
But the wife he set up
Bought all the fight tickets
And funded the vacation costing millions
The man was surprised

Once you are with a sensible woman
She will appreciate

savageyoungboy:
There are different categories of bad times
I didn't say all Nigeria youths are involved in fraud but from the numbers in the universities and in the streets, it's so scary. Fraud doesn't ends well you are right about that for sure. But what seems to be pushing this large number of Nigerians into fraud. Everybody wants to condemn it but nobody wants to talk about why. I remember some friends some of us both condemn frauds some years back are all into fraud today. Is it cause by evil spirits, bad government or greediness. The numbers into fraud is so scary. People graduate from school and become fraudsters, people in school are fraudsters and people that don't go to school are still fraudsters.
Only a few choose not to do fraud. Nobody is talking about what is pushing this huge amount of people into fraud but want to condemn it. I can't condemn fraud at this stage cause family members, friends, childhood friends, coursemates and so on are all into fraud. On my opinion you want to stop fraud the system has to change or Nigerian youths will keep indulging in it. Even when they are arrested or sentence to death when caught, they won't stop but will only become smarter. Fraud in Nigeria will only get worst in the coming years. Nigeria and fraud is almost similar to Mexico or columbia with drugs.
Why don't a Large amount of Americans indulge in drug dealing since they are close to these countries. You want to stop fraud, government have to do better and not all these petty talks

End of story

Let him that does fraud continue
Let him that hustles legitimately continue
But at the end
The difference will be seen


Go through the history and story of many successful men
They met opposition upon opposition
But with time things change

See life is not easy
A book I read recently by one American states that life wasn't even made to be easy
Life is hard
But persistency pays


I was watching actor Tyler Perry telling his life story yesterday on YouTube
When he started
He came from a very wretched African American background
He was rejected completely
Started organising drama shows
Even cleared his paltry life savings of several thousand dollars
And it was a flop
Was jobless, homeless, living in his car
But still didn't give up his dreams
He failed and flopped for over 7 years organising shows

A time came his mum Even told him to give up his dreams and go get a job
He persisted
On the 7th year of flopping
He organised same show and it became a sell out
Over the years he kept on doing thousands of shows which sold out
Moved into movies

And today he has one of the biggest movie studios in the US
A black man
And he is a billionaire today


Successful people understand that life is difficult and hard
But they persisted and succeeded

See life ain't easy
Only weak people look for the easiest route which in the end still leaves them hopeless

Attitude is very important
That a man will succeed or not depends solely on the attitude
When I encounter people
I check out there attitude to life
Because this determines there success factor in life

Many young people today don't even possess the right attitude to succeed in life
They are defficient on that
That's why many look for the easy way out
But God willing
And God keeping us alive
We will be on this street
2 to 3 decades from now
We will see the results of many of these young people
And the choices they choose
And we will know how far

savageyoungboy:
I understand what you mean
If it were to be in advanced countries a large number of Nigerian youths including those in the universities would not be into fraud. People will always justify fraud even though it's a crime. When People in advance country were fighting for a better life the ones in developing country were begging to be given a better life. Now you can see the kind of society we live in. Nobody want to suffer all through their lives and die. They rather prefer to enjoy in sin/crime and die than suffer in holiness. Almost all the youths are into fraud. I remember when fraud became a trend around 2011 and 2013 only very few set of people were into fraud. Now every young boy does fraud or is an aspiring fraudsters or associated with fraudster. Instead of blaming the fraudsters why not ask why so many scammers from Nigeria? What is pushing people to become scammers? Is it greed or the economy? If it's greed, why so many? Nobody is talking about that, everybody I hate yahoo boys, they are stupid useless people, snitch on them, you can't justify fraud and so on. I don't support fraud but I always try not to judge them either. Many of the boys in my street into fraud, I know how it was hard for them before they started scamming. If you look at some of their old pictures on social sites you would see for yourself. People will always find a way to survive. Nigeria is sinking and yet Nigerians are fully relaxed in the sinking ship.

Oga not everyone is involved in fraud
Not every young man is involved in fraud

I personally have never been involved in stealing someone else money
And I have experienced bad and tough times too

But with time, things turned around very well for me

Involving in fraud can't make you hustle and succede
Because fraud is more of easy way out
You don't engage your creative mind


I have seen guys that hit it big time from fraud and nothing to write home about today

Bible says in the book of proverbs that wealth gotten by vanity will diminish, but he that labour's will increase

I have seen bad times but persisted till good times appeared and steadily increasing, by God's grace will better inheritance for my children

Fraud doesn't pay
It carries curse on the person and his generations
There is no gain in fraud
None at all


Young people should find means
Work hard
Have good attitude
And God will open incredible doors they never imagined

savageyoungboy:
let me give you an honest answer. I'm still a sinner that's why I try not to cast stones on other because I know I deserve to be stone too. That answers your question right. That's why I would never report/snitch on another niggá trying to survive. That's a corny and selfish act. We don't do such. As for the analogies I guess you don't understand analogies that's why so I won't even bother to explain. It easy to ask questions and cast stones but not very easy to check yourself. Focus on yourself and not the lives of others. I'm still trying to figure out your motives here. You have tried to shut me with silly questions repeating them over and over again to make me get angry but I'm a very happy and patient soul. I will play with you till my phone off. When it's back on I will keep on playing with you. Stop hiding and try to make your point. There's definitely a reason why you choose to quote me. What's the reason?

Then what's the work of law enforcement
If this was to happen in advanced countries those guys would have been arrested, investigated and jailed

This is not about he without sin should cast the first Stone

Even the woman caught in adultery you are trying to use to justify whatever you have saying.
in this modern times, adultery is not a crime.

But fraud is a big crime, living large without any means of income is a crime.

If it was overseas
Those guys would have gone in long time

So stop justifying the unjustifiable
The scripture you are quoting is totally off point

cooooooks:
In the secular (and christian) world, partnership is what works.

Submission has not and does not work.

This lie is part of why some men believe they should be the sole provider (wives will not submit to a 'broke' guy)...and then die young.

In the home who is the head?
Even in our African culture who initiates marriage, pays the bride price
Whom does the children born in the marriage answer the name

See society already points to the issue

Man being a provider has always been a normal
Even in the west some decades ago women rearly worked
Everything was on the man

All these noise we are hearing started some decades ago

Even in the west when did women even start to vote?

eyinjuege:
A person easily persuaded to do what is wrong should be ashamed. Such a person isn't fit to be in charge/lead.
For the records, Adam was with her when she ate the fruit and she also gave him from it. He definitely knew what was up.
He also prevaricated about with excuses, on why he shouldn't be blamed for eating the apple.
At least Eve decided to eat of the fruit because it was pleasing to the eye and she wanted the wisdom that came with eating the fruit.
What was Adam's excuse again?
"my woman made me do it". A very weak excuse of a person, placed in a position of high authority . Reminds me of many Nigerian leaders.

Jesus was the second Adam
Jesus died for his bride the church on the cross
He gave His Life

While Adam the first man
Died with the woman
Instead of dieing for the woman
Adam should have died for Eve


That's the difference

cooooooks:
It's always funny when modern Christians try to justify this doctrine.

They can't come up with anything sensible and eventually run away from it.

There is this saying;
Can one fight with his or her maker?
Which is capital no

Even in the secular world submission is there, talkless of in Christianity where the Bible supports it.

The one quoting that submission is a curse. Paul made one statement in his epistle; the woman was made for the man

Also in the beginning
The woman was made from the man
The man came before the woman

So originally God has always intended for the woman to be submitted to the man curse or not

juniorstar:
e be like say dangote and bua are both in a rat race. anything D does B follows like hepatitis B and D

In business its called benchmark;
Whatever your competitor does or any moves they make you copy and follow suit.

And BUA advantage is that two of them are from the same region and has the financial resources and government patronage to match Dangote deal for deal

Which is still better than an individual monopolising everything.
Southern business men should follow suit although they can't match the government patronage these two enjoys

Gerrard59:
I understand the aspect of crony capitalism. However, for Nigeria to have more billionaires, GDP growth has to be at least 10% for 10 years. Nigeria has not experienced GDP growth of 3% in the past six years. There's no way billionaires can sprout from such an environment.

https://www.nairaland.com/6390993/dont-relocate-billionaire-nigeria-fantasy

Read your article it made a lot of sense.
But my drift is this; is it not high time we woke up from slumber.

The most painful part is that we are saddled with a directionless leadership.

As the years are going the gap between the developing world and our clime is becoming too much.

Pray this slumber ends

Congrats David

He has been a very persistent and outstanding fellow

Gerrard59:
Africa is the ONLY undeveloped continent where the basics of life are yet to be seen and made available to everyone. To become a billionaire in Africa is by solving the problems of the continent which are not tech powered but basics things like food, clothing, schooling, electricity, cheap cars etc. Europe and America have solved their basic necessities so therefore, one shouldn't expect to be billionaire just by going into refining. You people like to Anericanise your problems.

And how many have become billionaires in Nigeria with the exception of few.
And all those few have one government patronage Or The other

See doing business in Nigerian environment without government patronage is an uphill task
If you don't have government backup you are on your own

400billionman:
The cement cartel in Nigeria is reaping the masses.

Now talk to the dealers, you discover they are just servants and errands men to these manufacturers. They made so much noise about stopping cement importation, making the product cheaper, conserving foreign exchange and backward integration and all those jargon.

Only Goodluck Jonathan in the history of Nigeria once regulated the price of cement. That is how to identify a man whose govt is empathetic to the sufferings of the populace.

Even their refinery projects do not trip me. A hardened capitalist can never benefit the buying masses.

Exactly
They still run on government patronage
And the government will not protect the Masse's

KunleyY19:
The thing dey vex me ehn... As if to be rich in Naira easy not to talk of Dollars... Those two guys are very smart they just don't enter into businesses anyhow... If there's one thing I like about the Owner of BUA it's his Guts. He isn't afraid of Dangote as a competitor.

Its not easy
But they follow the path of easiest resistance

And that's major problem of many super rich folks in Nigeria
They rely so much on government patronage


How many of these men have thriving, innovative companies outside the shores of Nigeria?


They are all revolving around Nigerian economy, but outside they are weightless

Check other global billionaires
There companies are making huge impact across the globe


And the ability to rule the world globally in business is tied to capacity to think

Even South African brands are thriving greatly within the continent
We all can feel there impact here in Nigeria

How many of these Nigerian companies can you feel there impact around Africa?


The line of my argument is major reason why Nigeria ain't developed economically
Nigeria as a nation is not creating innovative and revolutionised companies
The mode of operation of things in the system is not creating platform for such

Nigeria got away before because of sales of fossil fuels
But now income is dwindling
If Nigerian government doesn't wake up from sleep
It will be too late
And there will be nowhere to hide
The economic bite is just starting

Kenfil:
Its because the women are busy bickering and killing each other lol. For those jumping up that since polygamous men were excluded from this report equates to a happy life, OYO is ur case. I can only tell those men, TEST & SEE (sing with me)..����

Not even about polygamy
If you let a woman know that if she misbehaves
There are women outside begging for your attention
Especially if you are doing well economically

No be person go tell her to behave herself

Forumobserver12:
Oga is not all about physical abuse , Most men surfers from emotional abuse in the hands of their wives..

Yeah that's why men should possess high emotional intelligence
Once you have this
Woman go dey avoid your wahala

He was a good man

Rest in peace Baba!!!

adanny01:
When you want to get a story like this right, don't assume things that you cannot be too sure.

Are you telling me because you have been on other women groups and heard so many stories so this means these women are all maltreated by men.

It may surprise you to find out things are different from what you were told. These stories are given to you with a lot of sentiment, highly opinionated and sometimes intended to attract sympathy which the person needs as encouragement to continue in the wrong perception of their situations.

Girls are raped, boys are raped too but how many times do you hear a case of a raped boy?

Women suffer in the hands of men, men suffér in the hands of women but you get to hear one side every time without hearing the other side.

The problem is how we think of the situation.

Op came hear with a problem, our responsibility is to pick her fault and tell her how to become better. If you tell her her husband is at fault without telling her her own faults, she makes no corrections and it becomes worst.

Worst is telling her how to become worst, example telling her to hide her money. What if the husband finds out and it becomes worst for them. He provides his for the family and she hides hers, if I find out then it's not about the money, but the trust.

Oga very many men are insensitive when it comes to marriage
Many women are unhappy in there marriages
Some are just hanging on because of their children

Some women wait when the kids are grown start sowing bad things about there father's and some treat the man like trash

I have seen families where this things play out

Men should be affectionate and empathize with there wives
Some once the woman has born finish for them
They don't even have time for her again or even give her attention

That's why many homes are nothing to write home about

Also why many young women today alreadly come into marriage with toxic and war mind after hearing what other women go through.

adanny01:
Best advice to you but wrong in so many levels.

You don't advice a married man or woman to be independent. It's better to tell them to get a divorce than encourage them to do what will further separate them.

Not when one is married to insensitive and selfish partner

LadySarah:
Dear Op, you aren't wrong .Dont let anyone blame you .Dont let them kill your esteem. This is how women develop hbp and which if you die, your husband will marry another woman who will maltreat your kids. Your MIL can only backtrack if your husband puts her in her place. As it stands he doesn't know his duties.A mother has her place and a wife her place.

The unfortunate thing is that your immediate family that should have your back isnt being supportive so you see yourself all alone. I'm sending you hugs.

You owe yourself to be happy. Is their anything that makes you happy?Go out and meet friends or join an organisation or cell that will keep you out of the house sometimes. Come home happy, smiling, bubbly and gist with your friends and kids. If they deny your kids cartoons, buy play stuffs for them.Read kiddies books with them. Pray about your well-being and theirs and continue doing your work with joy. Pray loud, play jams, stop wallowing in self pity.

You are better than what they tell you. Should you choose to leave, save up more. I'm happy you have something doing. God will bless your efforts.

Op this is a very good advice
Focus on things that make you happy
Don't let no one make you miserable
Get a hold of yourself

But honestly
Many women are going through a lot in marriage
Many are married to very insensitive men

lionness:
I’ve been going to XYZ church since 2003. I knew when the pastor a prolific motivational speaker started—knew when he was pastor plus drummer boy and his wife was the only choir in the church. Today; Baba don buy private jet, he can’t even count his properties and he keeps motivating we the hungry church members without any single support. Even for where some old members are hustling, he’s kicked them out and now turned that to business.

The plain truth is—my rubbish pastor didn’t grow his dream with just quotes, he required help of his church members in the form of donations. If I had collected substantial funds just like my pastor I will be richer than him today. The truth is, motivational speakers are only spewing BS. Most of them can’t go through half of what those they are pressing to are going through without financial assistance.

I think we should tell every single motivation speaker in Nigeria to kindly go to hell. What we need is funding. Nigerians are not lazy, we just don’t have the real motivation which is — cash! Any other form of motivation na Yahoo!

Outrightly wrong
I ain't holding any brief for any pastor but in real life and based on my personal experiences.

If you ain't motivated
You won't achieve much in life
And the Holy Bible is one of the greatest books that can motivate you

I have been privileged to create something out very tough situations
As in situations that will make you throw in the towel

But I persisted and created something great beyond my wildest dreams and it's still happening to me

Any man denying the God factor in the race of life is plain foolish
I have experienced it again and again and again


If you ain't motivated you can't achieve anything
You see people like Dangote, Mike Adenuga etc them
You think they just achieved whatever because of just connections
Come and I will show you many people more connected like them who never made anything useful out of there life


Life is not for excuse takers
Life is for those who never ever gave up no matter what was thrown at them
Life is for those who siezed the initiative
And created success story for themselves and their generations

smallsmall:
Northerners think Presidency is their Birthright, they are greedy and dont forget that Buhari tried it three times and lost, until he was helped to the Post by Southerners, Yorubas/SW, to be precise.

So, dont bother about what Northerners want or think, it will always be steeped in GREED and SELFISHNESS.
Think about which of the Southerners (SW, SE or SS and Middle Belt) will sabotage the clamour this time around, settle for a VP and give the Presidency to the North.
Without the Southerner, No Northerner can become President.
But why would any Southerner support a Northerner in 2023, after 8yrs of Buhari and all the Herdsmen killing, kidnapping and rape of Southerners?
Can Southerners survive another 8yrs of FUlani Herdsmen killings and seizure of their land?
I dont think so.

Shey una dey see am now
We warned in 2015
Let's allow the south finish there term
But they said no


In 2011 SS, SE, SW, Middle belt voted as a block and got the presidency

In 2015 that alliance was broken

And North got back the power



Anybody that think that the North
Will cede presidency to the South in 2023 must be foolish and unintelligent
With all the things happening to Fulani herdsmen recently


The North will retain the presidency
PDP will zone there slot to the North
Likewise APC will zone there's too to the North

Because Southern Nigeria has been divided beyond belief
So the North will take that advantage
It's the division in the south that has emboldened Buhari to do as he wishes and nothing has happened

Did obj, Jonathan behave as half as presently Buhari is behaving in there respective terms?

Capital No

Jman06:
That kind of guy is not the type to put up with a problematic wife.

I wonder oo
A man that didn't marry in time
And is economically successful will now marry a problematic wife?

At least it can be seen
He is marrying a young woman
He is even doing the babe a favor self

So she go just respect herself
And play her role wella

ibechris:
If he has got some children out there good for him,but at this age e go hard oh.

Well,every decision gat its consequence. I will not compare him with anyone but fact be told,he married real late.

Money is not everything especially where it happens that men usually depart this world earlier than women. A case study of igbo land where I come from. There are more widows than widowers in my village presently.

This alone would help u to understand why I may not support late marriage of this kind. Late 30s is understandable but not when u have 8years to retirement as stated by our constitution.

Schools runs or being there for children is simply the hardest work to do as a father,disciplining them is also another part, these are areas where no one would afford to help u out,even ur money can't aid u on this.

All in all,I say good luck to them.

Story
To every man Him own

He is a totally made man
His children won't need to worry about anything
Let him just have like two
And he married a very young Bride
Which is the icing on the cake

Na we Africans dey worry ourselves about marriage
Marry when you are ready
Not for other people
But strictly for you
And that's what this guy did

Drabeey:
If war is a symptom of man's failure to think for the future..

Thinking about the past till present, things are not getting better don't you think? My fears are...

Where are we heading to?
The future generations, will they praise or mum us...? If the older generations had gotten their acts right, maybe we wouldn't have told them to speak louder. A mistake they kept quiet? Or a blessing in disguise?

My fear, what will happen to a country that just won't learn from past mistakes? At least for the coming generation.
Still romancing the past like an illusion at the middle of a blunt call. Till now, no concrete history perspective of '1966'. How will our children learn if we fail to learn?

All in all, irrespective of what we turn Nigeria to, the southern and Northern Nigeria will always live together. By virtues of Trade, family, common borders and life before Nigeria, if...
OR
We could work together, improve on our coexistence as fate-entwined family. Why do we hate the truth yet envy the future of the likes of China, UK , USA. Their union didn't run away from their problems, but must we just go? Like South/North Korea, Just because the politicians wants to score some cheap points?
Trust me, every division will go away handy. Nigeria is blessed on every part!

Meanwhile, they understand they also represent a part of many atrocities already happening in Nigeria. Why are they been mentioned most?

However, how can a set of people keep bothering others on their ancestral land? A good stranger given a land in diaspora won't fight with host. "A good one won't". Not all Fulanis are bad!

If we choose not to coexist with those we fail to educate and want them to go because 'you are better'...
If we fail to realize how politics is fast changing our perceptions away from reality...
If we fail look more into our common values than our obvious differences

Then i ask you, why did you fail to educate those that are now making life difficult for you?
If you are resolute to send them away, do you think they will even go away?
If they do, will they ever leave you be at peace?

"War is a defect of humanity to think as a core part of the universe". #draamarks

Oga past leaders failed this country
They made no plans
Now the outcome is appearing
To crown it
Nigeria got the worst of leadership in 2015
A direction less, leadership
Now everything is shaking

P1PrinceKT:
We still don't want Him.

But you wanted Buhari?

Ft

capitalzero:
Weak defense!!!
There is existing national programme on immunization. If vaccines will cost #150billions, why should FG spend 250 billion on cold chain and capacity building? It does not make sense. The truth is that FG is part of corruption in health sector.

They take us as illiterates
Immunization has been taking place in Nigeria for decades ago

Even when I was a kid
They came on a cold packs of ice blocks
Till today children are being immunized in Nigeria
And it's same process

They are just looking for ways to divert money

Peter Obi is correct

Why are they running helter skelter
2023 is not far again
we will know how far then

APC came with the mantra
to stop the rot of PDP years
What happened?

The rot even went deeper

in addition
PDP is not the answer
We must ensure this rot stops completely

Now is time for action

Passionate1:
You are not different from most women. .
Gullible and stupid. . .what in God's name are they thinking?. . .una no dey hear word, u don find out d hard way. .

This chick ain't even bad
I know of one like that
She had a boy
Later one big wealthy man still married her

How I got to know
Was that she had the baby boy
For a friend's brother
Who latter died
When the wealthy man came
She gave the man condition
That she must come with her son
The man agreed

But my friends family
Go beg the man
That the boy was there late brothers son
That they want to take full custody of the boy
The man saw point with them
And told the girl
Either she chose the boy or her marriage
She chose marriage
But with condition that she still has access to her son
But the guys family will take care of boys upbringing
So everyone was happy

Anyone that think a fine girl like this won't see better husband is deluded
I have seen these types get married to men better than there so called baby daddy

Ndubuisipaul1:
People will pay millions to be flavor baby mama all around the world. An you are here thinking of suicide ..

Story
Like flavour no go get old again
When legends like 2baba, even dbanj
Who sowed there own wild oats in there youthful days still corrected there course and did the right thing

Flavour is getting old small small
When everything sets in
Himself go know how far

Next 10, 15 maximum 20 years we go know how far

TheLasyBuddha:
Many Nigerians are unapologetically vicious in their opinions about others. Hypocritical in everyway, we shove our morals and ideals on people like we're immaculate.
It takes nothing to be compassionate and empathic towards others and their struggles.
People go through so much they don't talk about and when they do, in a bid to garner sympathy, we show hate and pour our filth.

People go through so much daily, it takes nothing to show love and compassion. It makes you a better person instead. Acknowledge the struggles people go through. Nigeria is a hard place already, we don't have to make it any harder by our self-centered opinion.

That's what you get here
And the funny thing is that most of them are miserable and hopeless

A young woman was talking of her mistakes and sorrows in the past but they pour all manner of insult on her like they have got there life's figured out

Very miserable fellows

CSTRR:
Oga, the guy is an osinbajo promoter.
All you wrote does not interest him.

You don't expect him to like somebody that disgraced his candidate in the debates and is a credible threat to osinbajo ambitions.

Oh ok
I have never seen an unintelligent reply like that
I always see his reply on issues
But for that one
It was really low

You can imagine
With the likes of that dude in government
There is no hope for the nation
There level of reasoning is below par
And they colour everything up with tribalism
How we share same country with people like that surprises me

CSTRR:
Peter Obi is who Buhari supporters think Buhari was.

Aka gum himself.

That is why he is my choice for president.

The waste is too much.

NNPC is spending Billions to run a refinery that can't refine one liter of fuel.

It can't happen under Peter Obi.

Oga leave this people
There eyes never open to all the abominable wastage they have been doing

There eyes will open when there is no free money again
The West is moving away from oil little by little
It's never yet dawned on them
They should continue
Well done