₦airaland Forum

The truth is that not every woman will get married
And many of them live a fulfilled life
We need to get this into our heads


My aunt was never married
She has reached the highest level in her career
A director in the federal parastatal
Adopted a daughter
The girl is in her secondary School now
Has landed properties for that girl
And many other assets


Another of my sister's friend
My sister is married with kids
But her friend an Edo lady
Never married
But fortunate she had a daughter early
Today that lady is loaded
Travels around the world with her daughter every summer
US UK Europe Dubai etc
The daughter now has grown into a very beautiful young woman


Not every woman actually needs a man
And they are still fulfilled
Even more than a lot married women

Being happy in life
Depends on each individuals emotional stability
Some can be married but miserable
Some can be single and miserable
Some can be married but happy
Some can be single but happy and fulfilled

So let's get that facts straightened out
There are many married people that are miserable

If you are not fulfilled and satisfied with life when you are single
Marriage, children, etc can't change that fact

You must be fulfilled and satisfied with your life to enjoy this life

pcguru1:
Why should a man cry over a lady not his wife, that's bad teaching, men should be emotionally stable. getting dumped is normal , I wonder why people get embarrassed over it, I block each ex and move on, why shall i shed tears over someone that doesn't deem me worthy. pointless you are a lady so it's natural to express emotions that way but not for us.......well not for me sha

Exactly
Many men are wimp and weak
Men should learn how to control and master there emotions
Not mastering ones emotions is a recipe for disaster
Especially for a man
Women should be the emotional ones
Not a man
A man must be tough, rugged, hard and mean

Mitsurugi:
We live in dangerous times and there is a modesty that is most prudent. While I was at the university the daughter of a serving governor ate in the same wooden shack buka with us despite deluxe eateries around. I can tell you she was the most respected person we knew in the faculty, well loved. (We also knew her DSS guard who also attended classes with her, she obviously read him orders never to harass peops). She donated towards parties and picnics. The girl humble die. Rich kids don't help themselves with the need to brashly show off. Yes, the money is yours but why paint a bullseye on yourself for other frustrated peops to execute target practice. We live in dangerous times!

Exactly
Most times this rich kids are just arrogant

Although Davido OBO is somewhat different
But many rich kids most especially those we know the history of there father's wealth by hanging around government in power are target practice

But those rich kids we know there parents worked for there money through legitimate hustles are respected

emeijeh:
I hope you are not a Chelshit fan.
If you are, please let's discuss the Chelsea vs Wolves game played some days ago

Haha you are funny
I have been very impressed with Man U games recently
It's reminds me of the way Sir Alexs team used to play

It's good let them give Liverpool a run for there money.
As for us lampard is still a rooky
I don't see any good from him
But all hope is not lost
The gap is not much

jajeri3216:
Exactly, they make their first 20 million and go and buy some useless car.

Wealth takes time

Get rich quick has really messed up the mind of many Nigerians
That's why you see them involved in shady stuffs

But in reality
Wealth building takes time
Even among our business men
Example
Dangote has been doing business for over four decades
He didn't just become a billionaire overnight
That's over 40 years experience
Mike Adenuga and many others same thing

They are men presently in there 60s
It took them decades to build what they had

But a young bloke today
Will want to get rich quick
Thinking he will bypass the dues these men paid
But can you cheat nature?
Impossible

LikeAking:
You dey talk some truth, but life sm times na up n down. U can b rich today n b poor tomoro.

To hama legit no easy...

Actually nothing easy for life
And you don't hit it big just in one sitting
You know Nigerian mindset of get rich quick
Has corrupted the minds of many people


The real true wealth
You build it over time
Most times over decades
And thats how you build a lasting wealth
Pass it on to your children
And your children to there own children
That way wealth is perpetuated in your generation

But it's building it bit by bit
You learn and have wisdom to pass on to the next generation

As long as God keeps me alive
I would have developed and passed on great company and business to my children
When the time comes

enuelsmith:
You are very hardworking and possibly creative with your crafts.. Your blessings is never a function of your tithes or offerings. Don't get it twisted

You people will always find way to twist things
Someone tells you what has worked for him
And you will be saying something else

LikeAking:
U no go understand.....

I know unemployed guys dat wont work in the civil service or teach.

Unemployed grad pas unemployed grade.

Uni grads from poorer backgrounds face the highest difficulties after grad.

Having a business and making profit from the business are two diff things.

E no easy.....

Biz no easy.

Self emp no easy.

No doubt some are talented than the others, etc.

We are also from diff financial backgrounds.

Some have dads, mums,uncles,God fadas, mentors, etc that paved the way for them. Most have no body so they have to pass through hell, make lots of mistakes, etc.

See Bros this life no easy at all
If you wait for excuse
You won't achieve anything in Life

See the worst is yet to come
But still it's not an excuse not to succeed

One must learn a trade or handiwork
You must start somewhere
But if you are waiting for excuse
I will show you people
That had nobody or connection
But they still succeeded

Many youths seek excuse
Instead of being responsible

Let me state it again
The worst is still coming
And only those
Despite the challenges thrown at them
Rise up to the occasion
Will escape the times ahead

I have seen challenges
I have been resolute
And by God's help
I have carved out a way
Despite the challenges

So I don't have time for excuse
Hang around big men
And you will see how much they hate excuses
They don't even send those that give excuses excuses
That's why those that give excuses are rearly helped
But those ones that are resolute
They always get helped
Because they are hardworking

When I see many young people nowadays
I just shake my head

LikeAking:
Uni grads where not also trained to start a business. So pastor is 100% wrong.

His problem is 100% simple, him neva surfer in his life before.

Its like that.

The girl sewing is agbada might not come from a poor background if we investigate.

He is among the luck guys. He will neva understand why some one will be a failure/ have set backs.

All these ones are excuse excuse
The main issue is that many young people don't want to be responsible

If most of you are waiting for manna
You will wait till they kingdom come

Things are even getting worse economically
So except people take responsibility
The worst is still coming

Still not an excuse
Even in the midst of these trying times
People are still succeeding


In summary
People that give excuses never succeed
But people that despite the challenges in the economy
Get down to business
Make something useful

Example
This year's economy was terrible
But I saw it as no excuse
And under six months after lockdown
Had a great turnover in my business

thebosstrevor1:
He is right.

Most people dont realise businesses are the core of every society.

If more people build businesses, unemployment will reduce

Exactly
It's only the ignorant that will criticise this wonderful advise

Patriarchy001:
Tunde Bakare recently took to his pulpit to give examples of graduates who finished from university but found something doing with their hands - he particularly laid emphasis on the woman who sewed his agbada, bragging on how she graduated from university few years ago but decided to start sewing clothes instead of looking for a job.

He also gave examples of other graduates who sew agbadas for a living of whom he patronizes their business.

Watch from 2:45

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcaTyH2oSHs

In his words:
"The Future does not belong to Job seekers"
"Government cannot keep on employing people, that's not their job"

Do you agree?

Pastor Bakare is right
Where is the job
See anybody going to university without a learnt handwork or trade is just deceiving himself or herself


Learn handwork or trade or IT programming, etc
And start it earlier
Probably in secondary School

The earlier you learn it
The better for you
Because with years you would have improved drastically

hstar:
But we saw the introduction they did online nah
While chioma Papa and David Papa were there

Does it mean chioma fhather doesn't support it?

It's not like that
An average Igbo man detest the issue of her daughter not married properly
It's part of the team Igbo culture
Before you go and start borning kids for a man
He should do the right thing by marrying you properly

You might be shocked that
Chiomas family will be ridiculed and laughed at by there people

If you like
Have all the money like Dangote
You will not be respected in our culture
If you go about having kids
Without properly marrying there mother
It's anathema in Igbo culture

Juliusmalema:
The Chioma of a girl is a big disappointment to her father...

Look at how she has been turned to baby mama with promises of non existent marriage


Her father we know has shouted and become tired while writhing in at his daughter's foolishness.

Well eeremmm, Dike eligho alili, nnaaa ya ebiri...

@julous Bros you no know money and fleeting things can mess these girls mind up

It has a way of messing them up
Only a highly disciplined girl can resist the lure of money
There is nothing the old man could do

She will live with the repercussions
Although she fit no send as long as she and her son ate rewarded well cash wise

angelfallz:
cococandy you must think I'm one of the clowns on NL or Twitter that don't know what they're talking about. Please read the links below, and see for yourself.

https://qr.ae/pN2a34

https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/12/emmanuel-eboue-loses-life-savings-properties-wife-following-bitter-divorce/

https://www.opencourt-basketball.com/the-crazy-story-of-stephen-jackson-literally-leaving-his-fiance-at-the-altar-because-she-didnt-sign-prenup/

I read the Stephen Jackson link
Very hilarious and funny
But the guy was smart

Reminds me of one of Donald Trump's books I read many years ago about his experience with women after his first marriage with Ivana Trump Ivankas mother

Any woman who comes he will say honey I love you but here sign my prenup


It's scary for any man to get into marriage in the west without prenup

That's what saved Tiger Wood's from his divorce. If not his wife would have taken him to the cleaner's

Geniemoi01:
If you are foolish enough to end up marrying her, you'll hate yourself ×100!

Ignore what your parents are telling you. They are very traditional. But your wife isn't traditional. Most girls only want to take and take without giving anything back. Without contributing.

All of the money will be used for herself and her family! In the event that you fall sick or lose your job or have a financial setback, she won't wanna lift a finger and even if she does she'll make you hate yourself. Or in a worse case scenario she's gonna leave you when she feels she's now equal to you or financially better than you.
You better be wise!!!

You better be wise !!! You better be wise!!!

Im talking to you from practical experience! Don't say you weren't warned!

Marrying a woman who has not worked and knows the stress in making money can be very fatal

They have a sense of entitelment and won't appreciate what you are giving them.
The ones working or worked or struggled before to get a job are more appreciative

What some men do is they turn them to house wife fully
Let her focus on birthing children and raising them up

Maybe later you can now set up something for her. That's how some of my business men colleagues did.

One I am close to recently invested millions into his wife's business. She don born 4 Children for the guy. But she is a very good woman, supporting, appreciating her husband and respecting and submitting to Him.
Apart from that he recently also bought a brand new SUV for her


The woman was appreciative because she is good

Where op will hate himself is if the woman in question is selfish and unappreciative
It may cause big problem in the marriage

He must be sure he is marrying a good woman
If not he will just learn to be patient and tolerative
But being with a selfish partner is not a nice experience

Ade3000yrs:
Common sense is not common but i dont know how many of us are ready to die in the name of cultural, traditional, religious and conventional dogma, so if my fathers village is one of those captured enclave of boko haram or bandit, will common sense apply that we should all go and die like fowl in Dapchi or Sambisa in the name of culture?? Please lets use our head to think and be unconventional if we have to and not relegate our cerebral to our genitals. Are you going to be the one to take care of the logistics because you already said bulk of your relatives are in the city. Its high time the igbo tradition do away with a lot of cultural rights that has held the igbo nation hostage and tantamount to progressive ideals.

Story
Igbo tradition supersede anything out there
Its what makes us unique as a people
In addition Igbo marriage culture
That his sister is not just owned by her parents but the umunna, umuada, her mother's people etc

If the lady goes against her family wish
One day she will need them
When problem will come out tomorrow in her marriage
She will be left alone

That's why today's marriages are not stable and lasting like our parents marriages
Because they fall to do the right thing

lexy2014:
Yes u are right in a way. But d present state of d dollar to d naira is artificial. It's d product of serious corruption in d central bank. Some folks are cashing in on d margin between d CBN rate& d black market rate. Dem must chop

That's not the main reason

Nigeria's foreign reserve has deprecated rapidly because oil export which is the only source of foreign exchange earnings has reduced as a result of drop in oil prices and the corona virus global economy effect

As long as Nigeria keeps on depending on oil as only source of income, she will always be at the mercy of factors beyond her control

In addition an import depending economy, delapidated infrastructures like no electricity, poor roads
And to crown it all, no working refineries, so the fuel we use to run the economy is imported.

That Nigeria is still surviving is because of the resilience and toughness of her citizens.

I got information that many federal government parastatals didn't pay October salary
The government is broke simple


The only solution is genuine economic reforms
People like Chukwuma Soludo, Sanusi Lamido, Bismark Rewane, Atedo Peterside, Peter Obi and many others have raised the alarm times without number.


Genuine economic reforms is the only thing that will save Nigeria.

aaaaabbbbbccccc:
Same here. I thought of suicide when i lost my mum & couldn’t focus to pass my exams. Most people don’t know what depression is, they think people just happy or wake up one day to end their life. Meanwhile most people convince themselves for months or maybe years to find a reason to live before they eventually end it. Depression is cause of suicide, it’s extremely hard to end ones life if one is in a good mental health.

Depression is a terrible thing
Had one in my early 20s then.
I had no reason to live
It was complete darkness
No joy of any kind

But God saved me
I knew that feeling was dangerous
After a year
I got over it


Depression is a terrible state

Gayatri:
THERE IS THIS BUSINESS WE ARE DOING TOGETHER, BECAUSE THAT WAS HOW WE MET AND HE IS THE ONE HANDLING A PART OF IT SO I HAD TO CALL HIM THAT IM TERMINATING THE BUSINESS WITH HIM BUT HE TOO HAD SOMETHING TO TELL ME BUT DIDNT HAVE THE COURAGE TO BUT I HAD TO MAKE HIM SPIT IT OUT SINCE WE ARE OPEN TO EACH OTHER. SO HE SAYS THAT HIS GIRL CALLED HIM AGAIN AND SAID WHATEVER WE ARE HAVING WONT WORK.. AND HE SAID HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THE BAD PERSON IN THE RELATIONSHIP IF EVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE A BREAK UP.. AND NOW HE IS 30 HE HAD TO SHOW THAT HE CAN BE LOYAL IN A RELATIONSHIP. SO HE SAID HE WON'T BE COMMUNICATING THAT MUCH.. THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT THE TEXTS OR CALLS BUT THAT HE HAS DEEP FEELINGS FOR ME THAT HE CAN NOT CONTROL SO NOW HE IS MANNING UP TO STOP OVER COMMUNICATING WITH ME,., THAT EVEN HE HARDLY SAYS NO TO ME SO THIS WAS TOUGH FOR HIM SO WE SHOULD BE HAVING SHORT CALLS.. ALRIGHT SINCE HE WAS BEEN HONEST, ALTHOUGH IT CAME AS A SHOCK BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THAT AS ADVISED HERE, FIRST.. SO I SAID OKAY BUT IT'D BE DIFFICULT.. HE SAID YES.. SO I DECIDED TO TEASE HIM ABIT AND SAID HE SHOULD NOT BOTHER BECAUSE IM HAVING A FEELING THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE IS WAITING AND IMMEDIATELY HE SAYS NOOO I SHOULD NOT GO OUT YET FOR ANYONE... THEN I SAID IM TERMINATING MY BUSINESS WITH YOU AND HE WAS MADLY HURT, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT EXPECTING IT AND FINALLY I SAID JUST BE PREPARED, ONE DAY YOU MIGHT NOT HEAR FROM ME AND HE FROZE.. HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS ABOUT DOING IT IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CALL.. HE WAS FEELING ON TOP.. HE SAID HE WANTS TO BE REPONSIBLE NOW FOR THE FUTURE.. I UNDERSTOOD THE PART.. AND HE SAYS HE WANTED HIS RELATIONSHIP AND OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT HE DIDNT KNOW HOW HE MADE US GO THIS FAR BECAUSE HE WENT THROUGH OUR CHATS AGAIN.. SO WE AGREED WE TALK IN THE DAY TIME ON LIMITED TIME, HE SAID HE DOES NOT TRUST HIS HEART HEARING ME ALL THE TIME.. HE SAID HE HARDLY TELLS HIS OWN BABE "I LOVE YOU" BUT HE'S TELLING ME NOW THAT IF HE HAD NOT MET HIS BABE, HE WOULD HAVE COME FOR ME BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES ME AND DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BALANCE THE WHOLE THINGS... I SAID NICE THINGS TO HIM TOO BECAUSE IN MY HEART I KNEW TWAS MY LAST WITH HIM.. LET HIM FIND ME IF HE TRULY MEANT HIS WORDS.. EVEN WHEN I TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WANTED OUR FRIENDSHIP TO LAST, HE HAS TO INTRODUCE ME TO HIS GIRL.. AND HE SAYS HE DOESNT THINK SO FOR NOW BECAUSE SHE MAY BE THE ONE OR MAY NOT BE THE ONE.. HE WANTED ME TO MEET HIS "THE ONE" ... AFTER THE LONG CONVERSATION WHICH I CANT WRITE ALL HERE, WITHOUT HIS NOTICE, I BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE INCLUDING CALLS.. THATS IT! I DID IT!! THANKS TO YOU ALL FOR YOUR CANDID AND SUPPORTIVE ADVICE.. GOD BLESS...

Until you let go of time and destiny wasters
The right person that God has for you will not come
There is a better man out there who will genuinely love and do the right thing by marrying you

So completely end this destiny and time waster

osuofia2:
IN EYES OF CHRIST WE ALL SINNERS, JESUS NEVER CAME FOR THE RIGHTEOUS.

Exactly

Apostle Paul said in 1 Timothy 1 vs 15: this is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of which I am chief.

There is no one righteous
It's just be the grace of God that we receive the gift of righteousness

Ephesians 2 vs 8 for by Grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of ourselves: it is the gift of God
9 not of works, lest any man should boast.


That's why those in the world and the ungodly can never understand the ways of God.
It's a mystery

emonis88:
my guy u get mouth! dat management dat we dey talk about na im b d koko. because woman go make am really difficult for u o! cus she il always remind u dat her n d children r ur first priority, she is right o! but make e come to her own family u il not b first priority again o! after d kids na her siblings o!

Like I said it needs wisdom to manage this issues.
It's not every woman that behaves the way you talked.
Some women come in and get along well with her in laws
Some the in law's no go use eyes see the woman despite all she does to please them

The wisdom is in the man ensuring his madam respects his people and also his people accepting his madam

There are men that have handled the situation well, so they have peace. While some allowed the issue to degenerate.


It's all about wisdom

festacman:
Female twins siblinghood can't die with marriage since they share the same origin. A MENTALLY BALANCED female twin joins a man's family in marriage but maintains a healthy bond with her twin sister but relates legally and conjugally to her husband in a positive way. No SANE man who marries a twin female will discourage her wife from bonding with her twin sister because he knows what he is entering from first day.

Even the bonding may not be strong after marriage
My elder brothers wife is a twin
There was no way you will know
She is more focused on her husband and children

emonis88:
ok if una no know make una know now. once brothers start getting married , women who ve other ideas apart from them being together as brothers come into d picture. The wife（not girl friend o!）il think about herself, her children （when she has kids）and lastly her husband, she fit even put her siblings before d husband , so brothers if they fight when they r married it is harder to reconcile them than if they fight when they r single. To tell u say d problem weh woman cause for garden of eden still dey them body, them still dey cause wahala dey go.

Actually when a man marries
His first family is his wife and children
Before anyone else

But the wisdom is for a man to marry a woman who relates well with his family and also his family accepting the wife

This has been a very big problem for many families
Marriage brings a kind of rift
Either from the relatives or the wife
Learning how to manage it is wisdom

brexit:
Am glad it will be televised on DSTV platform so that I can watch it in the comfort of my home


This has been my prayer over the years and for me it is an answered prayer



May God bless all the organisers of this program and all the participants, let God use this program to change this country to the glory of His name

Please which channel?
I want to follow up the program

incogni2o:
You are very wrong, Not all marraiges in this generation fail.

I am married and marraige is not a failed institution.

Marraige is more of working on yourself to accomodate the weakness of the other while pushing to make the person His of Her better self.

The happiness of a marraige boils down to how much you and the other person have worked on yourselves.

Some have already worked on themselves before marraige, Some before and during, Others just started when married.

Marraige is like Gold ore, Both of you have to pass through the fire to be refined and Shine

The bolded is the summary or conclusion of the whole marriage issue.

How much each person works on him or her self. The better, the marriage will be enjoyed.

But the problem is many people don't work on themselves
So the marriage turns to something else

xana101:
I wonder y dna test is expensive. Govt should subsidize it. 135k is high. I wanted to do but price scare me. I just de observed.

I think it was deliberately made high cos if not. Many homes will break up

GodWrites:
If he's scared that his wife will kill him and take his properties in a deceptive way, he should make a Will stating how his estates are to be shared when dead.

He can decide to not give his wife or any of her family member a dime. By so doing, whatever they are planning is neutralized cause it benefits them no more.

This is what happens when you marry a gold digger. The law can save you!

But she already gave him two children, so head or tail, he still has connection with her through those kids.

That's why every man must shine his eyes, pray and look very well before committing himself to any woman for marriage.

It's better you marry very late than to enter into a big gbege that will haunt you your entire life time even when you are gone.

The greatest thing that can happen to a man is to have good wife.
The effect lasts for ever

TMSMedia:
Duncan Mighty Accuses His Wife And Her Family Of Plotting To Take Over His Properties

Singer, Duncan Mighty, took to social media some hours ago to make wide allegations against his wife, Vivien and her family members, IgbereTV reports.

In a lengthy post shared on his Instagram page, the singer alleged that his wife and mother of his two children confessed to him that she connived with her family members to try to inflict him with an illness through diabolical means just so they can inherit his properties.

He further alleged that he has the "confession" recorded and would release it to the public should she or her family members deny the allegations. According to him, he is now a single father.

He wrote on his Instagram handle:


https://www.instagram.com/p/CIWQTonBTpQ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Ebodisie onato darling darling

Translation; at the beginning e go dey sweet darling darling

I remember when this guy was just singing the praises of this same woman

A love gone sour

RedPanthar:
Some of us didn't learn till we hit the rocks. Took me total loss of my entire livelihood to understand friends are simply enemies in disguise sticking around to steal anything beneficial they find

See
Don't ever give up
You will bounce back
But whatever happened
Is a great lesson for you

I was grateful for what I went through
It made me extremely wise
Most people around us
Have no value they are adding
And the earlier folks learn that
The better for them
Especially if your aim is for the top most of the food chain
Not mediocrity or Just living ordinary life
If you are meant the top
You need those lessons

RedPanthar:
Continue that snubbishness abeg you. What matters is results and peace of mind.

See I am telling you it's the koko
All the so called friends and associates
You find out they have no iota of value they add to your life
So why have such time wasters around you

Results and peace of mind indeed
That's why the rich are snubish
They understand the whole play

InvertedHammer:
/
This is very funny.

Free the ladies.

Just act broke for some months and see how many friends (men and women) you will still have. I mean...everyone knows you got it and then act like you lost it all.

/

Bros in this game of life
God honestly allows misfortune to come your way so that you will become wiser and know that almost everyone that's smiling and claiming your friends ain't one bit.


I personally learnt this important lesson.
Those I called friends, and close associates changed when I went through misfortune for a season.

I got the wisdom.

Minus my parents, siblings and very few people I call friends. I don't do close associates again even past friends.

Presently a bit by bit, I am coming into my glory and I am now realizing why billionaires, the super rich and the highly placed in the society don't have so much friends and associates and appear snubish.


It's because they realized that only just few people on Earth are your personal people. Every other person are around because of what they can get. So they act much wiser

This taught me a great lesson
Some say I am snubish now
But I really love, enjoy and relish that tag

Pa3cia:
Swears, I'm on this table, don't know mine too, will try to find out before getting married.
Thanks for sharing.

Sure
It's very important you know it