₦airaland Forum

Okay, ya'll 'so sick' fans.
Has anybody heard the replies?
1, from Noelle , she sang a ladies version
2, a wicked reply from Lil' Bit, please u dudes should get it.

We also have 7 remixes
1, with geeze
2, with jin
3, with jay-z
4  with 2-pac
5, with ll cool j
6, with paul wall
7, a tailgate remix (phat joint)

If u stay in Abuja, u'll definatelly have felt the impact of these joints because it was the hit song for this week, DAMN Rhythm 94.7(Abuja) slammed the hell out of it.

Okay, hot-angel, bring it on
We dudes are up to it

Hmmmmm, made me chuckle shaa oo, I guess the ladies are having a fun-filled and hilarious tyme,

kajad:
and another gboza 4 both cheeks again!

vichel:
The next sound is Gboza on both cheeks

The meal of spanks could be finished with 3 lashes of KOBOKO(horse whip)

@2cantango ,

Nice (One-Sided) Joke anyway

LMFAO, please can we get a clapping icon(addressed to the administrator ) cos this definatelly deserves one. WAY TO GO GIRL

spikelord:
I'm in trouble, looks like I have inhaled a laughing gas.

Sorry man.

diyobdw:
Wow!! long and intresting

Tot So Too, lol

Rhodalyn:
she said she was going to have puppies because she had her's the doggy style hope you do get it now that was a funny one

Thanx for explaining , i wonder where dem dudes left thier sense of humour[quote author=r_o_b_b_y link=topic=9039.msg255616#msg255616 date=1143392336]If that the message, than this is the dumbest joke in this world[/quote]

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that
most adults are hiding at least one dark secret,
and that this makes it very easy to blackmail
them by saying, "I know the whole truth".

The boy decides to go home and try it out. He
goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he
says, "I know the whole truth." His mother
quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell
your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to
get home from work, and greets him with, "I know
the whole truth." The father promptly hands him
$40 and says, "Please don't say aword to your
mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the
next day, when he sees the mailman at his front
door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens
his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER
a big hug."

A man was having problems with premature
ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.
He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his
problem. In response the doctor said, "When you
feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try
startling yourself".

That same day the man went to the store and
bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to
try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.
At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on
her husband. As the two begin, they find
themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments
later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires
the starter pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, "How did it go?" The man
answered, "Not that well, when I fired the
pistol my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches
off my penis and my neighbor came out of the
closet naked with his hands in the air!"

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group
discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Ego Surfing: Scanning the Net, databases,
print media and so on, looking for
references to one's own name.

404: Someone who's clueless. "Don't
bother asking him; he's 404." From the
WWW error message "404 Not Found",
meaning the requested document couldn't
be located.

Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to
have their idea generators running.

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup
of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards.

Mouse Potato: The online, wired
generation's answer to the couch potato.

Treeware: Hacker slang for documentation
or other printed material.

A sultan is jaded of jugglers and clowns, so he
warns his servant, "bore me tonight, and it's
off with your head." The man is terrified, but
he vows he will not fail.

Day turns to night, and it's time for the show.
"Well, what have you got for me," the sultan
booms.

"Tonight, sire," squeaks the servant, "we have
a man who will make love to a dozen women before
your eyes." "Now you're talking," says the king,
bring him on!"

Twelve women walk from behind the curtain, and
lay end to end on the carpeted floor. A young,
muscular man appears and begins to have sex
with the first woman. In moments, she screams
with pleasure and he moves on to the next. He
proceeds from woman to woman, slowing down and
visibly straining, until he collapses helplessly
after ravaging only six.

"You idiot!", screams the sultan to the horrified
servant, "why, I've done better myself! I warned
you! Take him to the block and cut off his
worthless head!"

"Wait, your majesty," begs the servant, "I don't
know what went wrong, he was great in rehearsal!"

An old woman goes to the doctor, and says,
"Doctor you have to help me. I have terrible gas,
but the good thing is that my farts are silent,
and they don't stink. In fact, I have farted
twice since I got here and you didn't even
notice."

The doctor replied, "No problem, take these pills
and come back in one week."

So one week goes by and the woman returns to the
doctor and says, "Jesus, I don't know what you
did but now my farts reek."

The doctor says, "Good, now that we cleared up
your sinuses, lets work on that hearing."

St. Peter continued to explain, "The person who
can tell the best story how they died will be the
one who comes in to heaven today." The gentlemen
thought this was fair.

The first man stood up to St. Peter and began:
"I knew my wife was cheating on me, I rushed home
from work, flew open the door and there she was,
lying on the couch, naked. I knew I caught her!
I ran all through the apartment. Upstairs,
downstairs, under the bed, in the closets,
Nothing! I was just about to apologize to her
when I heard a Scratch, Scratch, Scratch at the
window. I opened the window and there he was,
hanging from the windowsill. I grabbed a skillet
and banged him on the head. I watched him fall
down down down, but he landed in some bushes. I
was still flaming with adrenaline! I edged our
refrigerator over to the window and it was just
about to fall when I noticed my coat was hooked
to the frige. So down I fall to my death."

St. Peter couldn't help but be shocked! He said,
"That was a great story! You are sure to be the
winner today."

The next man steps up and says, "Well, I was a
window washerman. I was doing my job one
afternoon when all of a sudden the ropes broke and
I'm falling to my death. I had my arms raised up
to God praying to catch me. At one moment my
hands caught a window ledge, I was saved!! I was
giving my thanks and trying to get the people
inside to open the window by scratching at the
window when all of a sudden a crazy man opened the
window and beaned me with a skillet. Once again I
was falling to my death. But once again, I was
being watched. I fell into a nice group of bushes.
As I opened my eyes to thank God, a refrigerator
was screaming down at me. That is my story."

St. Peter was stunned. He looked at the last man
and said, "You better have a good story, because
the last man had a doozy!"

The last man smiled and said, "OK, picture this,
Naked, hiding in a refrigerator, "

A man walks into a bank, and after waiting for 20
minutes in line, he goes straight to a customer
service representative and says, "hey, lady, I
got this here check for deposit and I'll be
goddamned if I am going to wait my ass on line
anymore."

"Please", says the woman. "I won't have that kind
of language in this bank." "Well excuse me, but
this fuckin' check ain't drawing any goddamned
interest with you yappin' away about my
language." "Sir, I don't have to take this abuse"
she says. "Well then let's get the fuckin'
manager okay? I mean what kind of rubbish is this
I have to take from you?"

The manager is summoned, and says "What seems to
be the problem?" The woman says, "This man is
using vulgar language and I won't stand for it."
The man says "Hey alls I'm trying to do in this
goddamned bank, for Christ's sake is deposit this
fuckin' check for 15 million dollars."

The manager looks at the check and then at the
man and says, "And this fuckin' bitch won't help
you?"

An Irishman's been at a pub all night drinking.
The bartender finally says that the bar is
closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat
on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and
get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him
up.

Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his
face. So he crawls home and at the door stands up
and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the
door and up the stairs. When he reaches his bed
he tries one more time to stand up. This time he
falls right into bed and is sound asleep. He
awakens the next morning to his wife standing
over him shouting at him.

'So, you've been out drinking again!!'

'How did you know?' he asks.

'The pub called, you left your wheelchair
there again.'

Clinton died and went to heaven; or to be more
accurate, the pearly gates. After knocking at the
gates, Saint Peter appeared. "Who goes there?"
asked Saint Peter. "'Tis I, your Lordship,
President Bill Clinton." "And what do you want?"
asked Saint Peter. "Lemme in," replied Clinton,
"Soooo," pondered Saint Peter. "What bad things
did you do on earth?"

Clinton thought a while and answered, "Well, I
smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that
against me because I didn't inhale. I guess
I had extramarital sex, but you shouldn't hold
that against me because I didn't really have
sexual relations. And I lied, but I didn't
commit perjury."

After several moments of deliberation, Saint
Peter replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send
you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't
call it 'Hell'. You'll be there for an indefinite
period, but we won't call it 'eternity'. And
don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't
hold your breath for it to freeze.

A man dies and goes to hell.

At the gate, a devil greets him,
Welcome to hell, he says.

The man asks" if this is hell, what goes on
around here?"

Devil: Do you like gambling?

Man: Yeah, i love to gamble.

Devil: Then you'll love it on Mondays, all the
gambling you want and you'll never lose.

Man: What about Tuesday?

Devil: Do you like to smoke?

Man: Love it!!!

Devil: Well on Tuesday we smoke Cuban cigars
the size of baseball bats, cigarettes, anything
you can smoke, And you never have to worry
about cancer. you're already dead.
Do you like to drink?

Man: Let me guess,

Devil: Yep, Wednesday is All you can drink,
you'll never get sick, no hangovers,
you'll never puke just pure drunk!
Do you like drugs?

Man: I sure do,

Devil: Thursdays your night, all the acid,
weed, coke, pcp, anything you want. you'll
never O.D.

Devil: Fridays we sleep to rest up for the
weekend,

Man: Why?

Devil: Well, are you gay or straight?

Man: *with big smile* Straight,

Devil: Ooooh, you're really gonna HATE
the weekends!!!

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Australian are
discussing their relative performance in bed.

The Italian says- "When I've a finsheda makina
da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently
tickle the back of her knees, she floatsa da 6
inches abovea da bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies- "Zat is nothing, when Ah
'ave finished making ze love with my girlfriend
Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick
zer sikes if her feet wiz mah tongue and she
floats ze 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The Aussie says- "That’s nothing, when I've
finished shaggin my Sheila, I get out of bed,
walk over to the window and wipe my cock clean
on the curtains. She hits the f***ing roof!!!!"

A bat came flying into his cave where all his
mates were hanging around. He had blood all over
his face and this was noticed by all. They were
insanely jealous as they had not eaten yet and
proceeded to badger him as to where he'd been.

"Leave me alone, I've had a bad night!" They, of
course, were hungry and wouldn't give up.

Finally, in desperation, he said: "OK, you want to
know where I've been, follow me."

They all flew out of the cave, down the valley,
half way up the mountain and landed in a tree.

"All right you guys, see that tree over there?"

They all nodded, eager to know more.
"Good, because I didn't!"

A squad of U.S. Marines are sleeping soundly in
their bunker when the drill sergeant kicks open
the door and yells, "Okay ladies, form up outside
in 5, this is a birthday suit inspection!" So,
all the Marines race outside and line up. The
drill sergeant walks up to the first Marine and
slaps him on the chest with his baton.

Sergeant: "Did that hurt?"
1st Marine: "No, sir!"
Sergeant: "Why not?"
1st Marine: "Because I'm a U.S. Marine, sir!"

So, the drill sergeant walks up to the second
Marine and slaps him on the butt with his baton.

Sergeant: "Did that hurt?"
2nd Marine: "No, sir!"
Sergeant: "Why not?
2nd Marine: "Because I'm a U.S. Marine, sir!"

So the drill sergeant walks on and notices this
guy with this huge erection. He can't resist.
*WHAM* He smacks this guys penis as hard as he
can.

Sergeant: "Did THAT hurt?"
3rd Marine: "No, sir!"
Sergeant: "Why not?"
3rd Marine: "Because it's the guys' behind me, sir!"

Three women stay up late one night drinking
together at a bar and get totally wasted. They
all leave in the early morning hours to go home,
promising to meet again.

The next day, the three meet at a cafe for lunch
and Bloody Mary's. They begin comparing stories
to see who was the most drunk.

The first woman says "I was the most drunk. I
went home and the first thing I did, was blow
chunks."

The second woman says, "No, I was the most drunk.
I left the bar and got in my car, then I wrapped
it around a tree."

The third woman says, "Nuh-uh! I was the most
drunk. I went home and lit a cigarette, passed
out and burned my house down."

Then the first woman says "Ladies, I don't think
you understand. Chunks is my dog!"

If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar,
they cancel each other out.

If you eat standing up, it doesn't count!

If you eat the food off someone else's plate,
it doesn't count.

Cookie pieces contain no calories because the
process of breakage cause calorie leakage.

Food used for medicinal purposes have no
calories. This includes: any chocolate used for
energy, brandy, cheesecake, and Haagen-Daaz Ice
Cream.

When eating with someone else, calories don't
count if you both eat the same amount.

Movie-related foods are much lower in calories
simply because they are a part of the
entertainment experience and not part of one's
personal fuel. This includes: Milk Duds, popcorn
with butter, Junior Mints and Snickers.

The pentagon recently found it had too many
generals and offered an early retirement bonus.
They promised any general who retired straight
away, his full annually benefits PLUS $10,000.00
for every inch measured in a straight line along
the retiring general's body between two points
he chose. (Something Congress came up with!) The
first general accepted. He asked the pension man
to measure from the top of his head to the tip of
his toes. 6 feet. He walked out with a check of
$720,000.00.

The second general asked them to measure from the
tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. 8 feet
He walked out with a check for $960,000.00.

Meantime, the first general had tipped off the
third. When he was asked where to measure, he
told the pension man. "From the tip of my penis
to my balls." The pension man said that would be
fine, but he'd better get the Medical Officer to
do the measuring. The Medical Officer attended
and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The
Medical Officer placed the tape on the tip of
the general's penis and began to work back. "My
God!" he said. "Where are your balls?"

The general replied, "In Vietnam."

Two drunks were driving down the road. The 1st
drunk looked over to the other drunk and says
"I think we are getting closer to downtown."
The 2nd drunk says, "How can you tell?" 1st
drunk says "We're hitting more and more people."

Three women are sitting in a doctors office
waiting for their pregnancy test results. The
Brunette says "If I'm pregnant it will be a
girl, because I was on the bottom."

The Red-Head replies "If I'm pregnant I will
have a boy because I was on top."

The Blonde stops, thinks a minute and and says
"Then I'm gonna have puppies!"

God and Moses were out playing golf when
they came to this long water hole.
Moses says, "God, you can't drive this
hole, you'll have to play around it".
God says "Arnold Palmer can drive this
hole" so he hits the ball and it lands
in the lake. God says, "Moses, go get
the ball", so Moses gets the ball and
brings it back and says again "God, you
just can't drive this hole, its too
long. You'll have to play around it".
God says "Arnold Palmer can" so he hits
the ball and again it lands in the lake.
God says, "Moses, go get the ball", so
Moses gets the ball and brings it back.
Meanwhile the foursome behind has cought
up and is watching all this. As God
gets ready to hit the ball again, one of
them says to Moses, "Who does that guy
think he is, God?" Moses says, "No, he
thinks he's Arnold Palmer!"

The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day,
and they both go before St. Peter to find out if
they'll be admitted to heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that
day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some
particular reason why she should go to heaven,
so she takes off her top and says, "Look at these.
They're the most perfect ones God ever created,
and I'm proud to own them.

St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks The Queen the
same question.

She then drops her skirt and panties, takes a
bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up,
and douches with it.

St. Peter says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in".

Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that
all about? I show you two of God's own creations,
she performs a disgusting hygiene act, and gets in
and I don't?!!!"

"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter, "but a royal
flush beats a pair any day."

A teacher of a third grade class comes into school
Monday morning and asks her students to use their
new vocabulary word, "fascinate", in a sentence.
Little Suzette raises her hand and says, "Last
week my parents and I went to the zoo and we were
fascinated by the polar bears." The teacher said,
"That’s good Suzette, but I wanted you to use the
word fascinate."

Little Mike raises his hand and says, "Last week
my parents went to Wal-mart and were fascinated
by all the great deals." The teacher says,
"That’s good Mike, but you were supposed to use
the word fascinate."

Next, little Johnny raises his hand and the
teacher was a little slow to call on him cause
she knows how bad Johnny's mouth was. She thinks
for a minute, and then decides there is no way
that he can corrupt the word fascinate. She then
calls on Johnny. Little Johnny yells out, "My
sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her
tits are so big she can only fasten eight."