₦airaland Forum

@  Troyjay,

What is been expressed by MBJ n Talina is simply the fact that you can really settle only with 1 person at the end of the day, barring the traditionalist mentality, and at a given time ( making an  allowance for the serial monogamist or polygamist).

His readiness for marriage would be determined by the ease of his ability to decide which of the girls he had considered to be wifey material. Otherwise, His mental frame of mind suggests he sees these girls as girlfriends,  or at the best long term partner material unto whom he has no allegiance. Effectively an open non-commital relationship where any of the parties can leave as at when due,  often when tired of the charade.

MBJ maybe turning a new leaf, best to wait n see. As his stance on this matter is different from usual.
But in his defence, he's mostly referred to partnerships or GF scenarios rather than marriage.

The other factor in this scenario is the ability of Naija men to marry a woman for baby-making reasons, acquisition of wealth whilst carrying on sometimes for years with another chick, sometimes with the knowledge of the wife . A scenario which is not common overseas. Otherwise there are grievous consequences.

@ MrbrownJay

Meaning of 'pure' pls??

^^^^^^^^^


Merci.

^^^^^

Boring by whose definition.

The girl may be happy knowing her new guy is a puppy on its leash. It starts to bark or looks at another b, iitch literally, she slits her wrists.

Leave the PSYCHO alone. Life is too full of drama to go looking for some additional sh, iite.

By the way, if op was self-controlled, he won't have been dropping his pants down ever so often.
And this won't change either in the future, he's admitted she's good in bed. A little here , a little there, and back to square 1.

No, , Actually in a worse fix, cos he's aware of what she can do, so there's no "tumbling in the hay, I ain't no horse" excuse


@ Op,          Shut that door permanently IMHO

OP needs to pray.
Decide using a checklist who fits his criteria best, particularly on the long-term.
This would exclude superficial, superfluous issues like physical attributes.

Except u r as ugly as sin and need good genes running thru ur line.   

Pray to see their characters, not the charade paraded for your viewing pleasure.

See if ur family members, spiritual mentors n close friends like them and vice versa.

Praaaay,    

Jump n choose

Good luck.

Ps: never did any good 2timing: unnecessary diversion of investment.

^^^^^^

Your above suggestions may backfire, exponentially.

Do u think this girl reasons like normal Nija chicks who count their losses and move on.

A girl desperate enough to commit suicide,not going down to the shops by the way IMHO is someone you touch with a barge pole.

Oh, "gentle,gentle" approach will end up in pregnancy or allegations of rape. The op himself, said, she's good in bed. A fact she's bound to know and use to her utmost advantage.

Despite knowing he had someone he has been dating for 10yrs , still wanted to chop another woman's meat,, ole!!

Have little sympathy for her, as she's not as innocent as she plays out.
How would she feel if she was in op' s GF shoes, and having a psycho disturbing her man.

It's hard, what's been done, is done.

Personally, there is no turning back. Otherwise it only gives rise to mixed messages, opportunity for more manipulative scamming by girl n sometimes unknowingly the parents.

^^^^^

I respect a difference in reasoning. But be rest assured, if it was the other way round, he might be up for stalking or harassment.

Definitely agree with a previous post of getting a legal injunction or involvement if this pattern of behaviour was to persist.

U need to understand that some people will push the limits. In the bid to scare or manipulate a situation for their own benefit.

I agree my comments may be seen as rather harsh, bearing in mind, I am not privy to the full details of the case.

I still think, focussing on getting appropriate mental health care for their daughter was the way to go.

Duh,

So obvious,

Wants u back.

Tell her no, if u don't want to tango,, quickly too from the look of things.

Set the rules from the onset.

@ changes,

Thanks for your comments.
With regards to the parents being irresponsible, I stand by my words.
I agree I don't and won't know what its like to be childless.

Coming to the op is not the way to go about things. As a parent, u have to act in the best interests of your wards, particularly if they are judged to be mentally challenged at the time, no matter how hard or firm ur acts may be perceived.

Their daughter is in "love" with him, , but he's not.
Said so severally to both daughter n parents ,
things are done properly not coercing a young man into a loveless union.

Such a marriage / relationship is doomed for failure before been protracted. Everytime he does anything not to her likening, results in slit wrists or something similar.

Their focus should be on supporting her and helping her to be strong even in the face of rejection, no matter how severe. Not pandering to her weak mental mindframe. That will only destroy her eventually. And she won't be saying, "thank you".

In certain countries, suicide is seen as a cry for help or an act of manipulation, unusual in the Nija setting barring the recent spate of events. Having dealt with pple wt mental health issues, I know.

@ Riihimaki,

Pls don't give into the pressure from the parents. This is a manipulative situation where the parents are players or pawns. If u bend to their will, would u be jumping at every whim she brings up. If u decide to go along and meet her, you would only be manipulated into a tight corner. If you have to, go with a legal representative.

To other posts maligning your sleeping with her. All I can say is they were 2 consenting adults. He didn't force her to sleep wt him. If she had mental health issues or baggage, its for her to sort it out or get help. I find her parents actions quite irresponsible.

To your fiancee, she needs to know about these issues before it explodes.

My 2 cents.

Pictures create some degree of nostalgia.
Thanks to Op and others for sharing these pictures.
Have to agree with Jaiyejeje regarding reasons for decline.

However, a balance should be maintained. A constant factor in life, is change.
This should be anticipated and well managed in the event of its imminent likelihood.

To maintain our historical past, they should be well maintained and protected by law (listed buildings in the UK) from major architectural changes that detract from the original character.

@ Killz,
Quite the diplomat there.
And everyone remains happy too

, cept the unwanted chick I suppose.

Hope you're feeling much better.

This too will pass,

Pele

@ op,
Please leave the girl, she'll meet her nemesis at some point.

What u need to do is to support your friend, get him out of his fugue state.

He needs a kick up his ar, se. get his degree, make his parents proud.
He may need some medical treatment, antidepressants, CBT: something to get him going.
So involve pple, if he's still not up and about shortly.

Learn from the experience n move on.

Me too

Done, but where though??
Need to sort out the insomnia

God has heard our prayers as our cries have come unto Him.

Pls expansiate on the mentality bit.

^^^^^
Haba!!!!!!

Just prayers wl do.

Opportunistic journalism.

Why can't she focus on a topic without riding on her family's fame or notoriety and digging up old wounds.

Lazy lazy opportunistic work

^^^^^^^
Haba,
Take am easy.
Have replied, long day

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Thanks Claremont for providing the source.

U can click exceptionally well.
But verification of the facts still needs to be done, sieve facts from fiction.
assess ur compatibility on planet earth not cyberspace.

But then my definition of love differs from the temporal flurry of emotions a lot of people attest to.

Run and again run


Trouble in capital letters

^^^^^^^^
Where u copy this one from, Onila??

Nice though

Still up?

Is that zabayanese ur speaking??

Pls interprete,

Thanks