₦airaland Forum

In many cases, if a guy/man can’t be a friend to a girl/woman he certainly can’t be anything romantic. For me, friendship is the foundation of a great relationship and love. Far too often people jump from relationship to relationship seeking a feeling, but they are truly operating out of lust. There is a lot that goes into a relationship, but the foundation has to be friendship. However, today I want to address the reason why guys/men may not desire to be your friend.

I do realize some of the reasons I am about to share may seem judgmental or unfair; however, some of them will be common sense.

1. Questionable past with guys/men.... ÷
Many men are quick to judge women for their past, because secretly men like the fun girls. However, when he is ready to settle down he wants nothing to do with the girl/woman who drinks, clubs, or anything else that reminds him of his player past. However, this doesn’t mean you should lie about your past, because the right man will understand and love you regardless.

2. On the other hand, if you are a woman who is “practicing abstinence”÷... and the guy has casual sex intentions, he will not want to be your friend if it won’t lead to sex (which is strictly his intention). As I always say, the character of a man matters more than anything else he brings to the table. So, a guy like this who doesn’t want to be your friend is a good thing.

 3. You use the words “let’s start as friends.”.... ÷
For some men this is code speech for “I am not interested in anything, but a friendship”. Ladies, allow the man to set the pace and learn to maintain healthy relationships without getting emotionally involved too soon. If he truly desires something real with you, he will seek a friendship with you. If he wants to have something more down the road, the friendship will allow both to know if it’s possible or even a wise move.

4. The way you act or behave in public.... ÷
If a man has a hard time seeing you as classy, sophisticated, stylish, and graceful it will be hard for him to pursue even a casual friendship with you. I remember, about three years ago or more, I was out with a female friend celebrating a new job. Little did I know, she was so loud and completely without manners. In every other situation I shared with her, she was always the model lady. I guess in restaurants and after a few glasses of wine, she changes. I still remained her friend even after feeling embarrassed.


5. You major in pushing guys/men away and having shallow relationships.... ÷
A man wants to know you have strength, meaning he can be flawed and your love doesn’t change. Nothing scares a man more than knowing, if he fails or something happens, the woman he loves will walk away from him. You can be a ride or die lady without losing yourself.

contactmorak:
Breaking: Linda Ikeji's Blog Has Finally Been Removed By Google

So sad. After several attempt by her enemies especially the hacker called Mr Aydee, they've finally succeeded in geting Google to remove the site after they lodged a campaign of copyright infringement against her. This must be a big blow to the multimillionaire blogger who is Africa's number one. She is expected to release a statement on this. Earlier in the day she told her readers that she's been trying to get a domain name but the internet squatters have hijacked most of the likely name she cud use. That's a multimillionaire business google has just shut down! Couldn't they have verified all this allegations against her and know that it's the handiwork of hackers and haters!

They should also have known that most people in Nigeria actually registered on blogger cos of her(I guess)

They did not just remove it, they want to arrest her.

cold:
Says the gangster for kryst. Y'all can go starve yourselves for your sky daddy. Your bling,bling mog has authorised you all go on a hunger strike...sigh

Maybe it’s time you let God’s word cut deep into your heart as you choose to believe what He says about YOU instead of you calling a Man of God a gangster. That's not cool.

However, Understand that God’s kindness is intended to lead you/us to repentance.

CAN DECLARES 3 DAY PRAYER AND FASTING - 17TH – 19TH OCT.

The National Executive Committee (NEC) of Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), on Monday 29th September, 2014, passed a resolution that Christians in Nigeria should observe 3 days of fasting and prayer for the church and for the nation from Friday 17th – Sunday 19th October.

Earlier, the South West Zone of CAN had chosen 26th October as the day of the National Repentance. However, with the directive from NEC, both positions have been harmonized and the day of repentance and national re-dedication shall take place nationwide from 17th – 19th October.

The President of CAN, his eminence, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor called on all Christians to unite at this critical period in the life of the Nigerian church and the nation and corporately seek the face of God for forgiveness and divine intervention.

In his opening remarks at the meeting, the President of CAN remarked that “as we labor for the Lord and make our way into the kingdom of God, we must constantly bear in mind that the enemy of our souls is perpetually at work seeking to ‘steal, kill and destroy’. The most common tactic of the enemy is to ‘smite the shepherd’ and scatter the sheep. Whenever the enemy launches this attack on any shepherd, experience has shown that the main targets are the sheep.”

On the day of National Repentance, Christian assemblies are expected to focus on prayers of confession for the sins of the nation as well as transgressions that are in the church. Paramount among the short comings of the church is the challenge posed by disunity and the attitude of ministry competition. A message of repentance based on 2 Chro. 7: 14 should be preached in all the churches on the Sunday  of  the National Repentance and National Re-dedication. Subsequently, prayers should be offered to God for mercy and forgiveness for the church and the nation.

Other areas of prayer focus include the persecution of Christians in the North, insurgency in the nation, the threat posed by Jihadists to the church and the nation, the forth coming general elections, good governance in the land and so on.

Christians are called upon to prayerfully establish in Nigeria, the four pillars of the throne of God. These are: righteousness, justice, mercy, and truth.

All the 5 blocs of CAN are expected to participate in the prayer and fasting program. No Christian assembly is exempted.

During the NEC meeting, the leaders of the church reinstated their support and solidarity for the President of CAN, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor, as well as their commitment to a united and cohesive national church.

All enquiries should be directed to the General Secretary, CAN, at cangensec@yahoo.com


http://kingdomnewsng.com/news/120-can-declares-26th-oct-day-of-national-repentance

TrollMan:
Stick to broken English. Okay, about the topic, it isn't always easy to make a wife outta that kinda girls. You need to change her, you can't expect her to change herself into a wife material. Or whatever you call it.

I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves. Yeah!!!

ENELDEE:
That's a very good way to connect with your past.

Yeah.. However, What is past is past. never go back. Not for excuses. Not for justification, not for happiness. You are what you are, the world is what it is.

Airforce1: I wish them goodluck

When God put two together no man can put asunder. However, It's okay for them to make mistakes, but reconciliation is important.

Tiwa’s hubby put her online as his WomanCrushWednesday and she accepted. I see reconciliation coming!
#TrueLoveForgives#


http://www.gurusloaded.com/tiwa-savage-and-husband-exchange-love-messages/

Lanceslot: CR7 all the way.

Yeah, I concur. We are on the same page.

Ronaldo and Messi.... two giants of the game.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi, two giants of the world game, are competing for yet another prize as the rivals take aim at the Champions League's all-time scoring record.

Real Madrid's Ronaldo has 68 goals in Europe's top club competition, one more than Barcelona star Messi, as both aim to catch former Madrid legend Raul, who scored 71 during a glittering career.

Ronaldo may have a better chance of getting there first as Real Madrid play Bulgarian minnows Ludogorets in Group B on Wednesday, a day after Messi has a tough trip to big-spending Paris Saint-Germain in Group F.

The Portugal forward looks primed to increase his goal haul in Sofia after scoring 10 goals in his past six matches, including one four-goal performance and a hat trick.

Messi, meanwhile, scored a brace to reach 401 goals for club and country -- his 248th in the league -- in Barcelona's 6-0 rout of Granada on Saturday, and is closing on the all-time La Liga scoring record held by Telmo Zarra, who netted 251.

Ronaldo and Messi's latest two-man contest comes after they have shared the FIFA Ballon d'Or for the past six years and have taken turns leading the Champions League in scoring for the past seven seasons.


http://m.espn.go.com/soccer/story?storyId=2062694&top&wjb=

Givemejoy: Listen! A weak man do not go into marriage. My advice, if you are not ready you had better wait.

Am all ears... Now, what do you mean by the term "Weak Man?"..... Depending on your perspective... But I have seen strong Men go into Marriage, yet it didn't work out.

Brijet: Well am still single,but i hv come 2 discover dat d search 4 a life partner is nt 2 be done alone,but let God do dat 4 u.even u meetin God-imperfect-perfect woman,there r still bound 2 be problems,and the ability 2 solve makes u nd her perfect 4 each other.

Ok. Noted.... But have you ever read in the gospels where anyone went to Jesus to “spiritually examine” the suitability of a spousal candidate?

I'm not yet married but as a young man who's thinking in that direction, I took out some time to take a look at the lives and homes of those who are already in it. I've done some research, asked questions, spoke with some senior friends that are married & I've also been observing.

I must confess I still get mixed feelings about the idea of marriage, when I see the good, bad & ugly taking place among married couples. I see some who wish they never got married, I also see some who are just hanging in there more still I see others who are living happy ever after. I've seen those who say if they knew this was what marriage was all about they'd have just remained single. Different findings that stares up mixed feelings in me. Even though I still know I more often times dream of sharing my home with the best woman in the world.

In all these things a few things still scares me the most and leaves me wondering how these things happen. Imagine a scenario where a great man who is wealthy and generous, always willing to assist the needy, all of a sudden ends up with a completely opposite feminine breed, who frowns at every attempt he makes to assist his fellow humans out of the abundance God has blessed him with. She goes as far as sitting on his wealth and ensures no else reaps from it. She reduces the man to the point where nothing happens except she says "YES" and if she says "NO" he's left with no choice. Some go as far as refusing him from helping his immediate family members, then a few (which to me is witchcraft), completely turn the Man's heart only towards her immediate family members. I just get wondering how some Men change from being high and mighty to being reduced to full control of their wives. How do these things happen really? Did such Men bargain for all that? Are they enjoying the weakness they exhibit? Or are they not in their right frames of mind anymore? Or is it all for LOVE? I'm really curious. This is just one instance out of my many observations.

If you are happy in your marriage, both in-laws are cordial, your home is a small heaven on earth, I need answers. What's your secret?...... I need to learn before I venture. PLEASE SHARE WITH I AND MANY OTHERS WHO WANTS TO KNOW!!!

As October 1st approaches, how will you celebrate this great country? Lets hear your thoughts....

As for me, I will continue in my prayer for Love and Unity!!!!

[quote author=MizMyColi][/quote]Nope, don't bother its like stoking the fire!!!

Come birds feasting on these fruits
These unripe fruits before harvest time,
Come pregnant babies
Hovering round the streets
Parading the result of forbidden deeds,
Yet no one seem surprised
Some hidden from human eyes
To shade the rolling shame,
Some in lovers home do stay
To add salt to bleeding wounds.
Come infant mothers blabbing and saying
“I am not the first, I am not the worst”.

Dede, sitting under the frowning moon
Nodes his head skyward
“Children of nowadays!
Children of nowadays!
Children of nowadays!
Has torn the fabrics of morality
And has broken the adult calabash
To perceive its content before ripe time.
Mmh! God, God have mercy!
Have mercy on the new generation.



Note:
*Dede means an Elderly man in many parts of Nigeria such as the Igbo's..
This poem “Pregnant Babies” laments on the increasing pre-marital sex amongst young people and the gradual embrace of the “Act” as a society norm, which is against the teachings of the Bible.

Teenage Pregnancy as underlined in the work is not the only visible problem of our time, but one fastest growing challenge of the society. This Act of disobedience has stopped many young from reaching their destinies; from being that great Man or woman they have always dreamt of being, that light to their respective families and societies. So many have obeyed the body so much that the body has now become their Commander.
Note in 1 Corithians 6: 13 the Bible says “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Verse 19 says “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?”

As youth we tend to hasten up to meet with trend, and do not in any way want to be tagged old-fashioned among the circle of friends or age group members, but God says in Proverbs 1:10 “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not”

Sexual immorality and other sins must be done away with if we must possess our God-given treasures in our lives, the bible made it clear in Ephesian 5:5 ”For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God”.
The devil is seriously at work; the Land is littered with fornication; and so many youth are exchanging their dreams for SEX, but God has assured us in 2 Chronicle 7:14 that “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

See, one thing is sure; Jesus Christ is willing to step into your situation if only you will give Him a chance.

krislamberteze: my girl friend of 4months dumped me for a banker....saying is change whst do I do..wm currently an open undergraduate. .please I need advises

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.

If I may ask, Why did she dump you in the first place? Was there any misunderstanding?

Have realised that when a girl STOPS;

*Stressing,
*Getting jealous,
*Asking questions,
*Texting you first,
*Calling you first,
*Worrying about you,
*Crying over you,
*Arguing about small stuffs,
*Going through your phone,
*Asking about your female friends

and starts SAYING;

*Naah,
*Am fine,
*it's okay,
*it's cool,
*Am not mad,
*No problem,

just know that the "LAST TEAR" has dropped and she no longer cares...!!!

IS THIS TRUE?

Manchester United have announced record annual revenue of 433.2 million pounds ($698.58 million) in their 2013-14 financial results -- but admitted they expected their income to drop by around 40 million pounds ($64.52 million) next year as they pay the price for their failures last season.

The 2012-13 Premier League champions saw their income rise by 19 percent as a result of large increases in their commercial and broadcasting revenue and their record, 750 million-pound 10-year kit sponsorship deal with Adidas.

But United are not competing in Europe for the first time in 25 seasons after only finishing seventh in the Premier League, and admitted they project their income for the next financial year to be between 385-395 million pounds.

The club will miss out on the money they tend to receive in television rights for participating in the Champions League and will have fewer home games, which bring in more than three million pounds per match.

United revealed they spent 5.2 million pounds in compensation to former manager David Moyes, who was sacked in April, and his coaching staff.

They still recorded a profit of 23.8 million pounds after a net spend of 78.9 million pounds on transfers in a period when they bought Marouane Fellaini, Juan Mata and began their record-breaking 153 million-pound summer spending spree, but that does not include the fees paid for their most recent acquisitions: Luke Shaw, Marcos Rojo, Angel di Maria, Radamel Falcao and Daley Blind.

United's broadcasting revenue rose 33 percent as a result of the new Premier League television deals and their commercial revenue went up 24 percent to a record 189 million pounds.

The club's gross debt has been reduced by 48 million pounds from 389 million pounds to 341 million pounds.

United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward said the growth in revenues and the recent signings meant the club was looking forward to "a new chapter in our history."

"We are very proud of the results achieved in fiscal year 2014 as we once again generated record revenues and EBITDA driven by our commercial and broadcasting businesses which delivered impressive year over year growth," he said.

"We also recently announced a record breaking deal with Adidas and very much look forward to launching this partnership next summer. With Louis van Gaal at the helm as manager, and the recent signing of some of the world's leading players to further strengthen our squad, we are very excited about the future and believe it's the start of a new chapter in the club's history.

"Louis' footballing philosophy fits very well with Manchester United and he has an impressive track record of success throughout his career, winning league titles with every club he has managed."

http://m.espn.go.com/soccer/story?storyId=2028546&top&wjb=

Got this from a friend and I was touched... Hence, I just thought it wise to share it down here....


What am about to write down is my story ( My True Life Story ) please treat it with Respect, For am writing out to the world because something in me wants me to do so on my platform, Am somehow the hidden type, the private personnal kinda person but tonight, my whole being wants me put it all in writing. So, please READ & EMULATE ..

I thank God for my life, for my family and where we are today, the late *********'s Family.. When dad died, i had no clue what life was talking about until 2years after his death, though i have always being the kid who doesn't complain about any situation but always take every hard time as a stepping stone.

Mummy has being keeping the family together and making sure that her 4 kids are living well, working round the clock to pay the bills and keep us all under one roof, but it's not something she can do alone, i joined her fulltime in her restaurant business, keeping her away from employing a worker who will help out with the dishes and serving of the customers, for i know the extra money and extre help from me, will go a long way.. Mummy trained me up in all ways a mother can, she being the dad and mom at the sametime was stressful, i had to bring my siblings together one night and let them all know that this is not a time or moment for anyone to be stubborn or wayward towards mummy and also this is a time for everyone to grow up , though it took a longer time as usual before everyone could see what i was talking about.. Growing up without anyone to show you your left or right in life at a tender age, was a problem, but mummy did all she could, she did her possible best and made sure i stay disciplined always..

There was a particular time, while i was growing up into a man (2006), at that time i am always the one to wake up so early in the morning at about 2am, to wake her up, reminding her that it is time to start preparing her dishes.. I did that for years, even after gaining my own apartment, i still find it hard to sleep past 2am, i still wake up at that time even when i know am not in the same house with her.

At that time, i always push her products ina wheel barrow to the bus stop everyday till date, it got to a time when people starts telling me that am too grown to be pushing the wheel barrow for my mum, that my younger ones should do that, but i kept telling them that " i will never grown old of doing that for my mom, for that was what kept us alive and that was the discipline i got and lots more " Nobody seems to know why i will leave my house every morning and head straight to mom's house to push the wheel barrow for her, but i always know within me that " i can never forget where it all started from and where it got me "..

On several occasions, i do get to see MOST of my facebook friends on this very platform on the highway, going to work via the same bus'stop and they seem surprised on how C******* could throw away all his grown'ness and keep doing that which alot of my fellow men could not do, at a particular time, i met a facebook female friend on that same bus'stop and she came closer to me, greeted my mom and whispered to my ears " Now i know why you fight for women always " and i laughed..

TODAY.. GOD has lfited us up to greatness, he keeps providing for us alll and taking us up higher than where we were years back.. Almighty JEHOVAH !! I can't thank you enough, i say may all glory, honour and adoration be unto your name in Yashua's name, Amen..

No matter what you beçome today in life, never you forget that you started somewhere, never you forget that BIGGER GOD in heaven and your family and friends who choose to stick by you when no one else did.. It pays alot when you humble yourself and struggle real hard to make it big in life, sorrows never last long.. JOY always cometh in the morning..

#‎smiles‬ °

#‎GOODNIGHT_BEAUTIFUL_PEOPLE‬

I am just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to repeating dating habits. Granted, Few friends observe my relationship with the opposite sex and think its cool (No misunderstanding), but I am quick to tell people I am flawed. Yeah, I have Godly gifts, wisdom, knowledge and discernment…. but I mess up sometimes as well. The key is we have to learn from our mistakes and work hard to not repeat things that hurt or hinder our growth or relationship.

Here are 5 bad dating habits we all need to work on:

1.) Having most of your conversations through texting.
I know it’s convenient to text and texting does have a place, but make talking on the phone a greater priority than texting. Texting is impersonal and it just opens the door for a tone of miscommunication. I think most of us have had a texting conversation go wrong. Can you think of a time when you misinterpreted the tone or intent of a message? It happened to me just recently! So, let’s actually talk more than text.

2.) Posting your business and subliminal messages on social media -
I see this all the time on social media and I know it’s tough for some people to avoid doing this. Often we get caught up in the emotions of the moment and we just write without thinking. Whatever you feel should be expressed privately to your partner and not broadcast over your social media channels. Communication is so important to a relationship and communicating through social media is not a healthy medium for speaking to your partner.

3.) Failure to clearly define the relationship -
How many times have you had to ask, “What are we?” The answer, or lack of an answer, to this question will tell you something about your relationship. Refuse to be in a relationship or situation where things are unclear and not defined. Adults should be able to openly and honestly state what they desire in a relationship. Don’t allow anyone to mislead or use you for something they desire from you, but they are unwilling to commit to a relationship.

4.) Mixing sex with love -
Sex is not love and love is not sex. Not understanding this is contributing to your heart being broken and believing the false promises that people will make to you. Yes, sex is an emotional thing for most women and for some men. However, you can’t continue to abuse yourself with the false emotions sex will bring. Stop equating sex with love. Sex is for marriage for a reason and we often fail to understand the problems sex before marriage can cause us.

5.) Failing to accept people for who they are. When entering into a dating situation leading to courtship, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. If you can’t accept that, you are not loving unconditionally. If something about their past bothers you, deal with it in that moment and not down the road. The best relationships will always have vulnerability, honesty, God, and love as their foundation.

Now, The question you should be asking yourself is this: What can you do better concerning your dating habits?

BOYFRIEND: Put your clothes back on dear.
GIRLFRIEND: why dear?
BOYFRIEND: nothing, just put it back on.(stands up to help her put her dress on)
GIRLFRIEND: (grabs him and whispers in his ear shout) you don't love me, right?
BOYFRIEND: I love you and that's why I'm gonna wait for the right time...
GIRLFRIEND: so, this is not the right time?
BOYFRIEND: No
GIRLFRIEND: (scoffs) when then? you are just doing this because you don't love me
BOYFRIEND: when you have your clothes on, I see right inside of you and the beauty I found there in, is the reason I am so in love with you...
(GirlFriend eyes lights up as she zips up her dress again)
(BoyFriend HUGS GirlFriend and whispers) and the right time will be our wedding night.
GIRLFRIEND: ( screams in delight ) I Love you honey.. so so much!

DO SUCH GUY EXIST

Abuja (AFP) - Nigeria's former vice-president Atiku Abubakar on Friday became the first high profile politician to announce his candidacy for the presidency at next year's general elections.

Abubakar, who was deputy to Olusegun Obasanjo from 1999 to 2007, is seeking to be the main opposition All Progressives Congress's candidate (APC) at the February 14, 2015 vote.

A formal declaration will be made on September 24, his spokesman, Garba Shehu, said in an emailed statement.

Primaries for the parties' candidates begin in October, according to an election commission timetable.

"This is not about me, it is about our young people. It is about Nigerians," the 67-year-old Abubakar said.

"It is their future, not the past. It is about reforming government, securing the people and reconciling the nation."

Abubakar, from the northeastern state of Adamawa, was in government as a member of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and made two unsuccessful bids for the presidency in 2007 and 2011.

He announced in February that he was joining the APC because he said the PDP of President Goodluck Jonathan "cannot be redeemed", as it had not improved governance or tackled corruption.

"We need leadership focused on our people, on creating jobs (and) providing security. That's why I am joining the APC," he said at the time.

Divisions along religious, ethnic and regional lines had increased "for political gains" and the ruling party had abandoned ordinary Nigerians. The APC in contrast was "a party of change", he added.

Political analysts have said that the PDP, never out of power since Nigeria returned to civilian rule in 1999, faces a strong challenge from the opposition at next year's vote.

The APC ranks have been strengthened by the defection of powerful state governors and lawmakers, many of them from the Muslim-majority north, unhappy that Jonathan may run again.

They claim that Jonathan, a southern Christian who has not yet outlined his intentions, reneged on a promise to serve only one term.

http://news.yahoo.com/nigerias-former-vice-president-announces-presidency-bid-113541316.html

The truth is, many people want to tell you what to do. How to be. What to say. And how to say it. They want to tell you when you’re doing great and when you’re messing up. They want to make sure you are successful, but not too successful.
 
There are literally billions of opinions in the world. There are as many opinions as there are people. In fact, there are more opinions then there are people because many of us are carrying around the opinions of those who have passed on.
 
And the problem with these opinions is that they can totally distract and detract us from our dreams.
 
We want to be liked.
We want those we love to feel good.
 
What at what expense?
 
Far to often we allow our greatness, our unique gift, our true purpose to be put on hold for the sake of others.
 
Let me tell you that life isn’t waiting. Each day it ticks by. Each day time flies.
 
And time won’t wait for you to believe in yourself.
 
This is something that many people learn later in life. And it’s a top regret.

But – you and I – we can skip having to wait any longer.
 
How?
 
Many a list of the 5 people whose opinion matters most to you.

Who are they? Mom. Dad. Brother. Sister. Significant other. Friend.

Are they alive or dead? Doesn’t matter.
 
Then write out what they would want for you. How big would they want you to shine? What would they want you to do and not do? What parts of you do they praise and what parts do they tell to keep quite, or to keep under wraps?
 
Then – if they weren’t here and it was just us – what would you choose to do?
 
On behalf of your dreams, I behoove you not to start making excuses. No matter what your life circumstance – there are people who are in the same or worse circumstances who made it through.
 
You see – the Universe wants to hook you up. But if you are too busy arguing with me about your limitations – that can’t happen.
 
So drop the limiting beliefs for a moment – and just wonder with me. Be playful with me. Have fun with me. Dream with me.
 
If the opinion of others didn’t matter – what would you do?
 
Then, get laser focused on that. If there are things that get in the way – re-prioritize. Get creative. Find people who have been in the same or worse situations and do what they did.
 
Take advice from people who have created the life that you want.

And then get hungry. Go after it. Without any looking back and total faith that the Universe wants to hook you up. See setbacks as lessons. See failure as lessons. See mistakes as lessons. And know that what you want or something greater is on the way.
 
Serve others. Get over yourself. Face your deepest fears. Don’t argue for your limitations. Become an expert in curiosity.
 
Then – watch what magic comes.
 
Lots of LOVE,
 
OG!!!

P.S. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

When Emeka broke the news to his parents that he planned to marry a Yoruba lady, they told him that he was a joker. That would never happen, they said flatly. Was there a scarcity of nubile damsels in Nnewi and its environs or in Anambra State and the entire Igboland that their son would travel across many rivers and many states to marry a Yoruba girl from Ijebu-Ode? Or, had the girl bewitched Emeka with “otumokpo” from Ijebu-Ode? She would not succeed, they concluded. Never!

Weeks after that, nothing was heard about the issue again. They assumed that the case had been closed. Emeka had come to his senses, they concluded. But had he?

Two months later, like a bad dream, Emeka brought up the issue of this Ijebu girl again! This time, his tone was firm. Despite the threats of the parents, he was not cowed. He was resolute to the point of obstinacy. Even the tears of his mother did not move him. His parents concluded their son was indeed under a spell.

When it became obvious, after many months of dialogue, pressure, threats, pleas, tears and quarrels that Emeka was hell-bent on marrying Lola, his parents grudgingly gave their consent, but the father warned that nobody should run to him if the marriage went awry. The father also refused to accompany him to Ijebu-Ode for the marriage rites, saying that as an elder, it was a taboo for him to travel far away from home. It did not matter that a few months before the marriage rites, he had travelled through Ijebu-Ode on his way to Lagos.

Not only his parents were against the marriage: Out of Emeka’s three brothers and two sisters, only his younger sister was on his side. But Emeka overlooked all that and went ahead with the marriage.

When Lola came into the family, it was obvious that she was not welcomed. She was just being tolerated. Matters were not helped by the fact that Emeka had recently relocated his architecture business from Lagos to Nnewi, to take advantage of the burgeoning building industry in the town. And even though he had built his own house, it was within the same compound where his parents lived. It was a large compound: All the four sons had their portions of land within the compound, even though two of them were not based at home.

Another handicap Lola had was language: Igbo was the language of the family, but Lola spoke only English and Yoruba. So, Lola began forcing herself to speak Igbo. Any time she uttered an Igbo word or sentence, people would laugh. But her determination and sense of humour impressed everyone. She also did something that nobody around her did: she curtsied or knelt down when greeting elders, especially her husband’s parents, no matter how hard they protested against such acts. That act and her accent marked her out as a Yoruba, which made people treat her like an egg and call her “Iyawo.”

Most mornings, Lola would go early to the quarters of her husband’s parents, greet them, tidy up their rooms and collect their clothes for washing. She would ensure that Papa and Mama had their meals. She asked her mother in-law to teach her how to cook all local meals. Mama was eager to teach her, and she learnt fast. Any time Papa or Mama complained of backache, rheumatism or fever, Lola ensured that they got medical treatment. Most evenings, she would spend some time with them, either alone or in the company of her husband, before retiring to bed. Her brother in-law’s wife sneered that she was shamelessly trying to buy love with her boot-licking tactics. But Lola was not bothered about that.

Less than a year after Lola came into the family, the music changed. Emeka’s parents, especially the father, never completed a sentence without mentioning “Iyawo.” He would tell anyone who cared to listen, including the wives of his other three sons, that if it was not for Iyawo, he would have long died.

Today, Lola speaks Igbo, or rather Nnewi, like a daughter of the soil. As far as Emeka’s parents are concerned, “Iyawo” can do no wrong. Even when Emeka complains about her before his parents, they will not let him finish before warning him never to do anything that will hurt that “peace-loving girl.”

Unknown to everyone, before Lola left her parents’ home, she fortified herself for any eventuality, having known that her husband’s family were not happy about the marriage. Her parents had also done all they could to dissuade her from marrying an Igbo man, but their words fell on her like water on the back of a duck. So she knew she had a major battle to face in her new home. Failure was not an option, for if the marriage failed or proved unhappy, her parents would give her the I-told-you treatment. Consequently, before leaving for Nnewi, she boiled herself in a pot of charm. Then, she etched the charm on her face, tongue and heart. The power in the charm was meant to automatically make anyone around her to like her. Anyone she smiled at or talked to was meant to be charmed by her.

What is the name of that charm and how much does it cost? The name of the charm is simple: Genuine love for others. It costs nothing to buy. No medicine-man is needed to prepare or administer it. It has no overdose. Everyone can prepare it. Everyone can administer it: At home, in the office, on the street, in the market. Its result on people is magical. Nobody can resist its effect, including “wicked mothers in-law” and “impossible bosses.” Fortunately, it is available in all parts of the world: In Ijebu-Ode or Nnewi, Zaria or Ikot-Ekpene, New York or Kabul.

Brides and brides-to-be must realise that even though in-laws may seem difficult to deal with, they are human beings with flesh and blood. Parents – especially mothers – want to cling to their sons as long as possible. Parents are naturally suspicious and even envious of “an outsider” – who did not participate in bearing, nurturing and raising of their child – coming to take that child away. To them, the wife is a stranger who may have a selfish agenda to destroy the peace, unity and love existing in that family.

It is the duty of the wife not to breeze into the family with an antagonistic stance. Rather, she should reassure her in-laws – through her words and actions – that she has not come to “take away” their son and brother or to destabilise the family, but that she has come in – like a new baby born into the family – to increase the family’s love, peace, unity and happiness.

Everybody wants to be loved, appreciated and respected. When love is shown (over a period of time) to even untamed animals like the bear, leopard, chimpanzee, hyena, etc, they respond with friendliness. Human beings have the capacity to even respond better than animals when shown love.

The rule in all human relations is that you get what you give. If you smile a lot at people, you receive smiles. If you are cold to people, you receive coldness and more. If you love to help others, you receive help and love. Therefore, those who go about demanding and expecting love, care, and respect from others may get disappointed, but those who first give love, care, and respect to others usually receive them manyfold. Showing genuine love to others is a potent charm that works like magic.

A lot of people are in love with the PICTURE of marriage!” That was the first quote that caught my attention today at church as it’s something so simple…yet so true! People often wonder why the divorce rate is so high and I would argue that this is one of the biggest contributors.


Marriage is beautiful and there are so many great things about it. But, there are some realities about it that must be discussed. It seems like when society is telling the story of marriage, they leave in all of the romantic chapters and leave out the chapters that aren’t so warm and fuzzy. And, then when people finally experience the full story, they end up hating the book.

As I listened to the sermon even more I picked up a few quotes from Steve Furtick that represent a few chapters that need to be added back into the marriage story!

1. Desire can light a fire but only duty can keep it burning!

Yes desire is important in a marriage and that desire is always the strongest in the beginning and the newlywed stage. Of course that strong s*xual desire, that strong desire to make your mate happy, that desire to date your mate, and give them all of your emotional energy are all important.

But, what they don’t tell you is that sometimes that desire turns into DUTY! Sometimes in marriage it’s your DUTY to do certain things for your mate even if you don’t necessarily DESIRE it all of the time. Sometimes it’s your DUTY to have s*x with your mate even if you don’t necessarily desire it at that time. Sometimes it’s your duty to give your mate that emotional support he or she needs at that time even if you don’t desire to do so. I could give more examples but I think you get my point and I think sometimes we have to have a GUT check about desire vs. duty!

2. Your marriage isn’t working because YOU’RE not!

The more I coach clients and couples, the more I hear people blaming and complaining. And the less I see people taking action. So often, we spend so much time trying to find someone to place blame on that we never step back to realize that we want something to change but we haven’t put any work into making that change happen. You want your marriage to be happy and fulfilling and loving but you haven’t taken any action or changed any behavior that might help that happen. You can’t complain your way to compromise and you can’t blame your way back to marital bliss. Somebody needs to add the chapter back into the marriage story about the effort and action!

3. Come to marriage for what you can give, not what you can get!

A lot of people come into marriage with their hands out looking to receive everything and never thinking about what they may have to give. The truth is that when you work on building yourself up before marriage ,then you can build up the supply of selflessness that it takes to create a great marriage. People complain about what they aren’t getting from their mates and what their mates aren’t doing for them, but not many step back and look at all of the things they haven’t given of themselves. You can’t go into an agreement that’s about serving and then have an attitude about having to actually give of yourself. Independent relationships take a different set of skills than interdependent relationships such as marriage.

The story of marriage can be a beautiful one but we must stop telling it as if it’s a fairytale. As married people, when you tell the story don’t leave out the important chapters that may just help save a marriage later. One of the final things the pastor said was “Sometimes when people only have the ROMANTIC expectations of marriage and they are presented with the REALITY of marriage many are left with RESENTMENT!”

Source: xklusivethoughts.com

The best that reasonable people can do - those who are conscious of their own fallability; those who are humble enough to know that there are no super men, but only an infallible God - the best they can do is to pray for this family who have blazed the trail in espousing the Gospel in over three decade. But then unreasonable people abound; those who live in glass houses and throw stones at others. Christ said, cast those stones if you are without sin. May The Lord help His church.

Women who have several s*xual partners before getting married have less happy marriages – but this doesn’t apply to men .
According to new research by the National Marriage Project, the more men a woman had s*x with before marriage, the less satisfied she is in her marriage. They say this is because she becomes aware of alternatives. Meanwhile, a man becomes aware that there is nothing out there and gets tired and bored of jumping around..The study reads
“Many in Generation YOLO (you only live once) believe that what happens while you’re young won’t affect your future. But our research paints a different picture.
‘This doesn’t mean that sex before marriage will doom a marriage, but sex with many different partners may be risky if you’re looking for a high-quality marriage. ’Having had more relationship experiences prior to marriage also means more experience breaking up. A history of multiple breakups may make people take a more jaundiced view of love and relationships.’
Remember that what you do before you say ‘I do’ seems to have a notable impact on your marital future. So decide wisely.’

sinokingz: Damn am happy!

Why is that?

Great news for United fans.