₦airaland Forum

Wait! Like seriously? So if we wanna tawk abt flood nau, we gonna add dis sh.it, dis aint no fLood

#transLation in pigin# so if we wan tawk abt flood nau,we go add dis 1 join, dis no be flood na flo. so anywhere water gather nau don bcom flood, very soon people go say swimming pool na flood

Wahz dah 1 sayin Hu told u mike dean haznt refd in a game involvin manchester united since 2010, look, officiating d lower division doesn't mean u were demoted, nick powell dah plays 4 manchester united senior team n also plays 4 d junior team, doez it mean dah hez being demoted n promoted everrytym

Adufaye: let dem kil those guy dat burnt dem 2 death,student who didnt kil anybody bt only steal,were kiled,wat abt d ones who steal n kil,rubblish....lawlex country.....bible said do nt kil a witch afta ha confession

lemme ask u a question, av u experienced robbery b4 in ur Life? If u av, u wudnt be tawkin dis thrash, d boyz dah were killed r d kinda peopLe dah will graduate 2 bcom assasins,robbers etc. Yet u r sayin dey just stole, if ur blackberry or 3k waz stolen, shey u'll say 'fank God, dey just stole,dey didn't kill' wah if d peeps dey stole 4rm had struggled with dem, dnt u fink dey wud av injured or maybe killed dem, dey already av dat mentallity of stealin, wah do u fink dey wud do if dey left skul

dreZilla: I think the @OP was specific, your best gospel song..... Y some dumbo come dey list songz out now? Some dumbo even mentioned Yinka Ayefele songz as gospel song! Na wa o........

wats wrong wiv u? Didn't u c us sayin we dnt av a specific best gospel song, we av so many best gospel songz so wahz ur probLem, iz d OP compLaining, y u dey drink talazo 4 anoda man stomach pain

ptaller: Well, it was funny to me when I saw it; hence bringing it here. I still thank una for d comments.

ain' criticizin u mah broda, just dat I don't understand it, izit dat d both of dem said 'u dey mind dis yeye man' 2geda yle dey've bin tawkin 1 after d oda wen dey were quarrelin

Dem plenty oh, here r d few 1s

I Look 2 u by whitney houston

U saved me by R.kelly

Lean on me by kirk franklin n co

Mma Mma by frank edwards

Spirit by R.kelly

Prayer changes by R.kelly

Leap of faith by R.kelly




Cnt remember d rest nau, I'll continue Later

So u c dis as a Joke Did u actually Laff 2 dis b4 u posted it

Close dis phucking thread, messi said it himself dat its a rumor

yahooman: We all have that one house we normally use to confirm if we have light at home when on our way back home.

hehehehehehehehehe, yeah! U ryt bro, if derz no Lite in dat house, den knw ur house doesn't av Lite

mimicue: Be hating here when he's making money lool wake up bro

F his moni, u knw moni izint peace, if onLy peopLe Like him will give way 4 d taLented ones 2 shine

Beetwo: Abeg helep me asamo, o boi no so you hate dbanj reach? Lemmi help you wit mo
' twinkle twinkle little star,
'o my home, o my home'
'moju moju o, ee, wande na kama ee, nama na nee, name kura.

hahahahahahahaha, azin ehn! I hate d guy

denzel2009: what did you smoke?

goat piss

I'll kiss Muna, hug omawunmi, buh I lyk tiwa small sha oh, buh I'll still sLap her.




I'll shoot davido nt sLap

Songs Better Than Oyato by Dbanj

Mama you do good oh, you do good, mama wey cook for us by Indomie Noodles

Nokia Welcome Tune Taranran Tan Tan.

Somebody call my name' by Daddy Showky"

'There Are Two Little Black Birds Sittting on the Wall one Named Peter one Named paul."

Honeywell Noodles "Bam Bam La la

Akanchawa by Bro. Gozie Okeke & Sis. Ngozi Okeke.

papa ajasco and company

NTA News Tune "Ponporon...poron poron"

I'm walking on sunshine oooooh by Ovaltine

Daddy oyoyo

When Nigeria win Brazil... When Nigeria win Brazil ooo.. Bebeto come dey cry... When Nigeria win Brazil

Who is in d garden? A little fine girl. Can I come and see her? No no no no... Lolz

I be monkey b1-b1, U be monkey b2-b2, I be monkey b3-b3, U be monkey b4-b4

from generation to generation, peak has always been there

UP NEPA !!!!!!

Jojo Armani: nice collections, is fun to read old jokes.

Pls am lookin for one old joke. About wen akpor walkin out of class wen de teacher called him back to know his reason wen he told de teacher dat wat he saw, he think is school days re over. (thats de ending shaa) u guy should help to find it pls.

Thanks
Projan VP

Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: Get out! Don’t come to class for the next 2 weeks.

Another boy laughs….
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw both straps of your bra.
Teacher: Get out! Don’t come to class for next 1 month.

The teacher bends to pick a chalk and akpos starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: Why are you going out?
Akpos: With what I saw I think my school days are over.

larride: Great bro, just awesome

I had no idea I posted dis ish Twice, fanx again

ndukwejoe: Mod pls ban this guy , him want kill person with laugh

hahahahahahahahaha, fanx 4 d Laff

larride: Nice collection bro.. Always behind you.

mah oga, I troway saLute, fanx

PretiEbony: Lol @ the topic, u dey beg make them view ur jokes...lol. Nice collection sha

hehehehehehehehe, just nided d attention, n dah waz d onLy way, fanx dear

dvdon: Carry over

I try na

Onyiclassic: U TRIED BT D LAST ONE WAS STALE

fanx all d same

slimchi2k2: @peJemi
wow nice joke bro

fanx a lot, I really appreciate

:filelist: A pro.stitute asked a doctor to make another hole near her A$$
The doctor was surprised and asked her why? She answered “ business is moving well,i won open another branch.....

A guy on a date in a brand new Range Rover Evoque,

riding with his naija babe.
Guy: I ve bin hidin a secret from u and I tink u will break dis relationship if I tell u.

Girl: wat is it my love.

Guy: Am SS(sickler) and HIV positive.

Girl: hitting d guy on d lap,u almost scared me! Tot u wanted to say dis big car u re riding isn't urs, let's go joor, ordinary SS and HIV? Dat one no fit stop my love for u o !

Father (Angry): “Where The Hell Have You Been All These Years?”
Girl: “I Was Working As A Pros.titute In The Vietnam”
Father: “What? Get Out Of My House You LovePeddler, I Don’t Want To See Your Face Again”
Girl (Crying): “Before I Go Dad, I Came To Give You A $5 Million Cheque, And Here Is A $1million For My Brother. I Built A Big House For You In The Northern Surburbs With Everything In It Including A Ferarri And A Bugatti. Bye Dad”
Father (Smiling): “What Kind of Work did You Say You Were Doing”
Girl (Crying Out Loud):“A Pro.stitute Dad”
Father: “Come And Give Daddy A Big Hug, I Thought You Said You Where A ”Prosecute








Dame Patience went out for drink with some of the top women….
Waiter brings their bill:
Dame Patience N10,400
Ngozi Okonjo. N10,250
Dora Akunyili. N10,450
Turai Yar’adua. N10,200
Total. N41,300

She says: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay
for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns
petrol stations all over Nigeria!









Lekan was in the house watching blue film yesterday day night when his pastor friend came visiting.
Immediately he entered, he shouted; "brother lekan why are.. You doing this to your selfl? Why are you watching corrupt movies? Oh no! This is bad!" As he was shouting he increased the volume of the film why the girl in the movie started shouting
"OoJesus! Take it easy!" The man in the movie: "Ohhhh my God. Give it to me harder!
Immediately the pastor looked at Lekan and said: "Brother lekan, the only reason I will pardon you is because the people in the movie are born-again.
The way they call the name of Jesus makes me love them. Anyway let's watch it together...... PLEASE SHIFT FOR ME JOOOR










Wife to her husband: Wake up. Some thieves have broken into our house.
I think they are now eating the food I made last night.

Husband: Oh! Let's better call the ambulance then.











Wife hit her husband with frying pan.

Husband: What was that for…?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week

and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.







Two guys raped a princess.
When they were caught and taken to the king for punishment. The king ordered them to go and get as many fruits as they can to bail themselves.

The first one went and returned with 15 Mangoes, the king ordered the guards to insert the Mango into his ass so that he will feel the same pain as the raped Princess. The guy screamed and shouted throughout the insertion.

Suddenly, he began to laugh out loud, the guard asked him why he was laughing in pain.

He pointed ahead and said .
.
.
.
"Look at my friend (Akpos), he is bringing WATER MELON."

Father (Angry): “Where The Hell Have You Been All These Years?”
Girl: “I Was Working As A Pros.titute In The Vietnam”
Father: “What? Get Out Of My House You LovePeddler, I Don’t Want To See Your Face Again”
Girl (Crying): “Before I Go Dad, I Came To Give You A $5 Million Cheque, And Here Is A $1million For My Brother. I Built A Big House For You In The Northern Surburbs With Everything In It Including A Ferarri And A Bugatti. Bye Dad”
Father (Smiling): “What Kind of Work did You Say You Were Doing”
Girl (Crying Out Loud):“A Pro.stitute Dad”
Father: “Come And Give Daddy A Big Hug, I Thought You Said You Where A ”Prosecute








Dame Patience went out for drink with some of the top women….
Waiter brings their bill:
Dame Patience N10,400
Ngozi Okonjo. N10,250
Dora Akunyili. N10,450
Turai Yar’adua. N10,200
Total. N41,300

She says: I will pay for everyone else, but Total must pay
for herself because I didn’t invite her, afterall she owns
petrol stations all over Nigeria!









Lekan was in the house watching blue film yesterday day night when his pastor friend came visiting.
Immediately he entered, he shouted; "brother lekan why are.. You doing this to your selfl? Why are you watching corrupt movies? Oh no! This is bad!" As he was shouting he increased the volume of the film why the girl in the movie started shouting
"OoJesus! Take it easy!" The man in the movie: "Ohhhh my God. Give it to me harder!
Immediately the pastor looked at Lekan and said: "Brother lekan, the only reason I will pardon you is because the people in the movie are born-again.
The way they call the name of Jesus makes me love them. Anyway let's watch it together...... PLEASE SHIFT FOR ME JOOOR










Wife to her husband: Wake up. Some thieves have broken into our house.
I think they are now eating the food I made last night.

Husband: Oh! Let's better call the ambulance then.











Wife hit her husband with frying pan.

Husband: What was that for…?

Wife: I found a paper in your pocket

with the name Jenny on it.

Husband: I took part in a race last week

and Jenny was the name of my horse.

Wife: Sorry..!

Next day wife hit him with the frying pan again

Husband: What now..?

Wife: Your horse is on the Phone.







Two guys raped a princess.
When they were caught and taken to the king for punishment. The king ordered them to go and get as many fruits as they can to bail themselves.

The first one went and returned with 15 Mangoes, the king ordered the guards to insert the Mango into his ass so that he will feel the same pain as the raped Princess. The guy screamed and shouted throughout the insertion.

Suddenly, he began to laugh out loud, the guard asked him why he was laughing in pain.

He pointed ahead and said .
.
.
.
"Look at my friend (Akpos), he is bringing WATER MELON."

Z dis d reason y u laffin like dis

Ansaz(section a) deir names r NO and KIA,wen dey held hands dey formed a bond called NOKIA. No2: it shud av bin mook buh its made. No3: I fink Obasanjo said dat. No4:dunno. No5: fink its abuja. No6: obasanjo sent d request buh dunno y

nyere84: we both share the same tin abt our ex, seriously, dat was also d song he played for me d 1st tym we kissed. D song reminds me of him.

wow! Nyc, u neva can tell oh, maybe dis z destiny maybe we were meant 2 meet eachoda N

gnews: . Same wif me Hahahahaha, not my ex, but one chick